


A cup of tea for the general

by Koprix, SeiG



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Crack, Fluff, Humor, Hux plays the piano, Hux smokes and drinks a lot, Kylo is a puppy, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, We make Hux suffer, angst and fluff come later, but then comes the angst, he tortures Hux, it starts with sick Hux, they are awfully fluffy for a while, they argue a lot, they do whatever they want, they got out of hands, we cried for three nights straight writing the later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-18 23:49:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 98,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5947963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koprix/pseuds/Koprix, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeiG/pseuds/SeiG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux is sick. It all starts with Kylo Ren coming to bother him and ending up trying to make a cup of tea for the general. And it goes straight to hell from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So we just wanted to write a short crack about sick Hux being tortured by the incompetent excuse for a knight (we both love Kylo!), but it somehow grew beyond everyone’s expectations and now it’s here, currently at about 50 000 words and still growing.  
> New chapters should come out fast, there are around ten of them already.

Hux enters his quarters and tiredly looks around. He is even paler than usual, his freckles even more visible, dark circles under his eyes so big, he looks like didn't sleep in days. That is not actually true as he just came from the infirmary, yet he feels tired to death. He makes his way to the kitchen to try to make a cup of tea just to warm himself up before he'll go right back to bed. This is just ridiculous. Of all the things that could happen down on Hoth, he catches a cold. No, that is not it. No cold could do something like that to the general. It must have been some kind of terrible disease and as he tried to ignore it for a whole week, it came to him in it's full power. He doesn't know what it is, but he just wants to go to bed and wake up when it's all over.

He pours water to the cup and goes right to bed, not even taking his shirt and pants off – he has never done that before.

Kylo Ren has just returned from the meeting with Supreme Leader Snoke, pissed off again. Since Hux took the liberty of becoming sick, he had to go through all of the important stuff with Snoke himself. Kylo is storming through the corridors of the Finalizer, going to meet Hux no matter what. He doesn't care that Hux is sick, he doesn't care that Hux collapsed on the bridge a couple of days ago, he doesn't care about the condition of that pompous piece of shit at all. Of course, he needs to let him know about the newest plans, which could wait, but he wants to do it now. To let Hux know how mad he is. Hux always loves to show Ren that he's better than him in planning, or more accurately, that he's better than him in everything. He can't miss the situation to be able to complain to him about his absence when he is needed. That Hux was unable to come to the stupid meeting at all. Ren stops in front of the door of his quarters, banging at the door.

Hux almost spills the hot tea all around himself, startled by the loud sound. He sighs, takes a careful sip and closes his eyes. Maybe, if he'll ignore _the thing_ , it'll go away. Of course he knows who it is – only one person would dare to disturb him now – the utter disgrace Ren is. He growls a little as the banging grows louder, determined to wait for the walking headache to just go away.

Of course, Ren doesn't. He is banging more and more loudly, finally nearly shouting at the door as much as the mask allows him to.

“Hux, open the door!”

The general considers all the pros and cons of the possibility of a broken door against the insufferable child just going away. As he hears something in the door crack, followed by the sound of a lightsaber being turned on, he gets up. “All right,” he shouts – or tries to at least, not really able to talk all that much – to stop Ren from destroying his quarters. He slowly walks to the door and pushes a button to open it.

The knight stares at him, quickly entering Hux's room. He stops next to his bed, turning to face the general, sounding... almost amused under his mask.

“You look terrible,” he utters.

“Thank you,” Hux gives him a sarcastic smile but it turns into something tired and resigned as he just doesn't have the strength to deal with all of this anymore. “Is that all?” he asks with just the slightest hint of hope in his voice, as he makes his way back to his bed.

“Of course not,” Ren answers, a bit too quickly to leave Hux with the last remaining pieces of hope to be left alone. “The supreme leader wasn't pleased to see that you didn't attend our regular meeting. He wants to speak to you as soon as possible.”

“I will see him once I'm able to leave my bed, Ren,” he gives him an annoyed glare but again, it's weakened by his state. He stands by the bed for a while, battling with himself, then decides it couldn't get any worse no matter what, so he just lies back and turns away from the knight. “Leave,” he says, his voice muffled by the blanket.

“No,” Ren answers, finding something oddly appealing on General's current condition. “I came to talk to you. It will not wait.” The _even if it could_ remains unspoken, but is clearly obvious to both of them.

“Talk then,” Hux doesn't even look at him.

“What?” Ren looks at him, clearly taken aback by the answer.

“Talk, I'm listening,” he shifts a little, getting more comfortable and not really listening to the knight, closing his eyes and trying to get some sleep. It's surely calmer without the banging even with someone in his bedroom.

“You are not,” Ren answers strictly. “You are not even looking at me.”

“I don't need to see you to listen to you, Ren, I'm ashamed for you if you are not aware of such a thing,” he fights the need to pull the blanket over his head. “I don't even like looking at you, so spare me just this once...”

And now, at this very moment, only for a glimpse of a second, Kylo Ren feels how attractive he finds the sick and weak general whom he utterly hates under normal circumstances. Even without realizing what he's doing, he takes his mask off and puts in on Hux's table.

“Look at me.”

“No,” this time he doesn't even think it over and pulls the blanket over his head. He heard the sound of the helmet being taken off, but he doesn't want to see the abomination that must be the knight's face. He has never seen him and he thinks himself good like that.

“Look at me, Hux,” Ren repeats, his voice urgent as he almost unintentionally wanted the general to see his face. He makes a few steps, appearing on the other side of the bed, right next to Hux's covered head.

“God, Ren,” Hux takes a deep breath, “I don't have t-” he stops abruptly as he takes the blanket off again and sees Kylo's face. There are no scars, nor other disfigurement, just an incompetent child with soft brown eyes looking at him. He turns to the other side again and sighs a little as he notices the tea – now cold and probably quite disgusting.

Ren snorts, the wave of rage raising inside of him again. He didn't come here to be ignored, and definitely not ignored in this manner! He looks at the place where Hux's eyes are fixed and he sees the cup, taking it into his hand and smashing it right on the neat floor of general's bedroom.

“Stop ignoring me!” he shouts, sounding way more childish without the mask than usually.

The general sits and gives him a look of utter despise. “You'll clean this,” he says in as much of a low and steady voice as he can in his current condition. He coughs then rubs his forehead with a hand. “Make me another,” he tries to say but this time it sounds almost painfully raspy.

Ren turns to him again, a questioning look on his face. “What?” he repeats.

“Make me another cup of tea, you'll find everything in the kitchen,” he raises his eyebrows, as if to ask if it was really that unclear.

To Hux's utter surprise Ren turns around and really goes into the kitchen without a single word. He makes the tea exactly as Hux asked him to, not able to understand himself why he's really doing this. Perhaps the fact that nobody else except the general would dare to ask the mighty Knight of Ren to do something as trivial as to make tea, or the fact that Kylo can feel how sick Hux is and is a bit uncertain how to behave, since he's never seen him so pitiful.

Hux is still for a moment, not really sure what to think. He listens, trying to make out what is Ren doing, hoping he is not breaking anything, as the general is quite sure he wouldn't be able to stop him. He hears the water being boiled and no sound of lightsaber, so he lies again, still not believing what is happening. But it's all good. For a while Ren left him and is trying to actually do something useful. The general closes his eyes and shifts into a comfortable position.

The knight finishes making the tea, not quite sure how the general likes it. Not that he cares, of course, but he doesn't want the arrogant jerk to complain about everything he does. He brings the cup of the boiling liquid to the bed, staring at the other male.

“Hux? I've brought your tea,” he states rather calmly, looking at him, his face unreadable.

The general only shifts a little, breathing calmly and obviously fast asleep. At the sound of Kylo's voice, he only growls a little and shifts to get warmer under the blankets.

Kylo blinks, feeling the wave of anger flowing through him once again. How the hell can this arrogant bastard fall asleep while he bothered himself with making the stupid tea for him?!

“Hux?!” he raises his voice once again.

No reaction.

“Hux!” Ren shouts, the cup shaking in his hands as he tries to control himself not to throw it into the general's face. If he was a normal member of the crew, Ren would do it without a second thought, but since he knows that because of some mysterious reason Snoke is quite fond of him, he can't damage him much. At least not permanently.

“No, Ren,” Hux growls, waking up slowly, the knight obviously invading even his dreams. “Why are you still here?” he asks as he notices the other. “Thank you,” he stretches out his hand for the tea.

“I made you the tea as you requested,” the taller male answers, his anger slowly fading away as Hux expresses his gratitude. Ren is staring at him for a while longer, remaining silent, feeling puzzled about the fact that he can't feel proper anger for Hux in this condition. Maybe because he has no energy to be as insufferable as usually? Perhaps.

“Yes,” Hux takes it and sniffs it a little, honestly glad he can't really smell anything in his condition, as he is not very confident in Ren's cooking skills. “It looks drinkable, you can go now...” he tries to send the knight away without offending him, but even in his current state he can't quite make it sound _nice_.

Ren is standing still, almost as he didn't hear him at all, staring at the general's hands holding the cup.

“Ren!” Hux tries more military voice on him, only making himself cough more. “Leave!” he manages to say through the coughs, feeling as a pathetic excuse of himself.

Ren doesn't move an inch, somehow shocked by the completely beaten Hux. He hates the man, truly and utterly, since normally he is cruel and emotionless, everything Kylo wishes to be to truly kill all of the remaining bits of the light side inside of him.

It takes the general a while to calm himself completely. He gives Ren a deadly glare, his pale beaten face with such a big sacks under his eyes only making it look more intimidating, until he talks again in a hoarse voice. “You are not making this better. Just leave me, Ren, tomorrow I'll talk to you about whatever you want...” still, he is not quite as desperate as to beg.

There are another few moments of complete silence until the knight finally speaks.

“Very well.” His voice is surprisingly calm and soft. He says nothing more, only turning away and leaving Hux's quarters, closing the door behind him.

It takes the general a while to notice Ren forgot to take the mask. He shakes his head and just turns the other way, hoping the knight won't come back for it until morning.

Ren is returning to his quarters, deep in thoughts. He notices several stormtroopers as they are staring at him. Staring more than usually, but he doesn't find it weird at all, since he's thinking about Hux's pale face and his flushed cheeks, sipping the tea Ren made him. The general looked nearly human that way, weak and fragile. Kylo loved the sight. He loved it because of him being too helpless to despise Kylo as much as usually. He loved it because somehow he was finally gaining the upper hand over him. He loved it... just because he loved it. Doesn't matter why.

 

 

Hux growls, as he hears the all too familiar sound of a gloved hand banging on his doors. Ren woke him up and as Hux looks at the clock, he realizes it's already morning. Late enough for him to already be on the bridge, was he his usual self, but too soon for Kylo to even be up. Or the general has never seen him so soon anywhere around the ship anyway.

He gets up slowly, his body aching all over, but not feeling as wobbly and off as yesterday. His fever probably went at least a little lower. He pushes the button as he gets to the door, expecting the worst, quite used to Ren at this point.

“Hux.” Kylo utters the name instead of greeting, examining his face. He doesn't look as beaten as yesterday. _Shame_ , Ren is thinking.

“Oh...” the general nods, looking at his bare face. “Wait here,” he goes back to his bedroom to pick the ugly thing Ren uses as mask. He may feel better, but he is still in no condition to deal with this terrible excuse for _the mighty knight_ , so he just wants this to be over as fast as possible and go to take a shower. He realizes, he is still wearing his military trousers and shirt and it makes him feel a little disgusted with himself.

It's no surprise that Ren ignores Hux's words completely, entering his quarters, sitting overconfidently on the chair by the piano which he didn't notice at all yesterday, even though it takes up more than half of the room.

“What?” Hux looks at him, handing him the thing.

“Thank you,” Ren utters, taking the mask into his hand, but not putting it on, looking at Hux again. “Did you like the tea?” he asks, not knowing exactly how to start the conversation, saying the first random thing coming into his mind.

Hux tilts his head to a side, silent for a while, taken aback by the question. “It was... adequate, yes,” he nods at least. “It didn't have much of a taste, but it may be just...” he pauses for a while, not sure how to call his state, in the end settling on: “because of _this,_ ” he waves his hand a little pointing to himself.

“Adequate,” Ren repeats, realizing that he didn't expect anything more appreciating at all. But perhaps... for a while, he only wished the general to appreciate him at least in some way.

“Do you want another one?”

The general lifts up his eyebrows, so surprised he can't even muster a reply for a while. “I need to take a shower, Ren, and I'd like to be left alone for that... do you actually _want_ to make me another one?”

Kylo is silent for a moment, as if considering what the proper answer might possibly be. “I do not mind,” he says at last.

Hux blinks. Twice. Very slowly. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out, as he just have no clue what is going on at all. “We-well,” he manages to say at least, “fine. Make me another one, but let me take a shower first.” He rubs his forehead in a defeated way.

“Have you slept in your uniform?” Ren asks as if he knew Hux hates himself for that.

“I did,” the other sighs, no point in hiding it now, as it was quite visible. “I don't want to do it ever again...”

“I know,” the knight responds. He can't say that he knows Hux well, but this is something he learned about him during the first days of their... relationship? No, that's not the right word. From the time they were forced to cooperate. Besides, it is no secret that the general likes to be clean, properly shaved and neat.

“Well, that saves us all the trouble of explaining anything. Leave my bedroom,” he points at the door. “I don't expect you want to watch me taking my clothes off and even if you did, I don't want you to see,” he is getting rather tired again, Ren being sickness of his own.

“I couldn't care less about you getting your clothes off,” Ren responds, his voice uncommonly steady again. “I came to talk about the meeting with Snoke. You told me we would discuss it today.”

Hux sighs, then nods, resigned, “so what is it about?” he asks as he starts to unbutton his shirt.

“The supreme leader wants to speak to you about the progress in building the Starkiller Base. He wants to know how far did we get. I was... unable to provide him with the amount of information he'd find sufficient since it is mostly your job.” _Your only job_ , he thinks with disdain.

“Is that all?” the redhead gives him a questioning look as he takes his shirt off. “I told you yesterday, I'll talk to him as soon as I'm able to,” he sits on the bed with a sigh. It takes him great deal of strength just to move around and to take care of himself, Ren still not helping at all.

There is a silence for a few seconds as Kylo sees Hux's bare chest for the first time. The general is apparently in way better physical condition than he thought, seeing his strong muscles on his well built torso. The knight always imagined him as the kind of a person whose only job is to sit in his office and to give orders without making his hands dirty. Or sweaty. Somehow, Hux gained some respect in Ren's eyes, as the knight is starting to realize that he might misjudge this ginger creature way more than he expected.

“Well, Ren?” Hux looks at him.

“No,” the brunette finally replies, looking all mysterious, clearly wanting to get Hux's full attention. “There is more.”

“Fine,” the other says. He gives Kylo a resigned sigh, “wait here,” he says then and gets up to open a drawer in his wardrobe. He takes out a plain black top and a pair of black sweatpants and he marches to the bathroom, not taking his trousers off in front of Ren.

Ren sits there for a while, but since he's always been short tempered, he gets bored after a few minutes. He is staring at the piano, imagining whether Hux can truly play it and if he does, how well. This seems awfully strange to Kylo, since his parents were always focusing more on the art of combat than on the traditional forms of art. The brunette turns around and his gaze fixes on the empty cup on the nightstand. Right, he promised to make more tea for the sick general. He gets up, sighing internally, wondering why the hell he has even promised to do something like that for him.

As the general gets out of the bathroom again, for a brief moment he hopes he got rid of the headache, only to hear it in the kitchen. He shakes his head and as he is, dressed only in his black sleeping garment and barefoot, goes there to look at the disaster. “God,” he utters, looking at teabags all over his kitchen, then turns to go back to his room and to the bed. He looks at the dried tea stain and scattered glass on his floor, walking carefully as he has no shoes. He wants to change his sheets, but just knowing about Ren in his quarters drains all his strength, making him only want to lay down and preferably die already.

Ren returns in a minute with a boiling cup of tea, handing it over to Hux, mumbling: “Here you go.”

“Thanks,” is all Hux can muster, as he takes it, looking at the cup as if it could save him. “Will you clean all the mess you made here since yesterday?” he asks hopelessly, sitting stiff at the edge of his bed, not wanting to get back under the sweaty sheets before changing them.

“If you want me to.” Ren sighs internally because of the fact he has to use the Force for such a lame reason, waving his hand, sending all of the shattered glass into the trash compactor with one movement of his hand. “Better?”

Hux sighs quite loudly, not commenting it in any way. “Adequate...” here Kylo Ren goes with his strange sorcery, just making him feel so much worse by trying to show off.

Ren throws an angry nasty look at him. “You seem to have a problem with it.”

“I have a problem with this disease, with my sheets being dirty, with tiredness and feeling like shit, Ren. You being a disaster in my room now is not helping at all!” he turns at the knight, quite desperate look in his eyes. Rising his voice makes him cough again, rather nasty sounds escaping his throat. “God, I want a cigarette,” he whispers to himself.

“I don't think that's a good idea,” Ren snorts, but somehow feels sorry for this man as he starts to cough again, gasping for air. “Get up.”

“I know that!” the general answers, “that's why I haven't smoked for four. Fucking. _Days_ ,” he narrows his eyes, giving Ren quite the glare, but he stands up anyway. “Why?” he asks.

“Where do you keep clean bed linen?” he only answers with another question.

The other man rises his eyebrows, but doesn't complain, even though he is sure Ren is going to show off yet again, too tired to want to do it himself. He moves to open a drawer, pointing at it with his free hand, holding the cup in the other.

And Ren of course does show off (but only because he's never changed the bedsheets any other way than ripping them apart with his lightsaber and he isn't quite sure about the standard procedure), changing it all in a minute, slowly putting the blankets and pillows back to Hux's bed exactly the way they were.

“Get into the bed already, or you'll black out again,” he grins mockingly.

“There would be no reason for me to, were you not bothering me since yesterday,” Hux throws at him right back, as he is getting back under the blanket, finally sipping the tea he was given a while ago. It feels so much better, everything around him clean and soft, the tea warm and soothing, no matter how tasteless it is. He closes his eyes for a while. “Thanks...” he whispers because even though he would never admit it, he is quite glad to finally feel like this.

“You're welcome,” Ren answers plainly, for a while remembering something from the good manners his mother taught him such a long time ago. “Do you need anything else before we can finally talk?”

Hux watches him for a while, examining him, as if he actually was expecting someone to take off the mask of Kylo Ren face and laugh into his face. “No,” he shakes his head finally, “I don't think so... what do you so desperately want to talk to me about?”

“There is a piece of information we are supposed to retrieve,” the knight sits on the piano chair again. “Very important one, the one which could be of a great significance to the First Order. Which could finally shatter everything that remains of the Resistance.”

“Do we know where it is?” the general asks, sipping his tea again and sinking deeper into the comfortable bed.

“No,” Ren replies. “It is a piece of a map which we are supposed to find among the members of the Resistance. The last remaining piece of a map which leads to the destination where Luke Skywalker is.”

“Well, then why are you here instead of looking for it?” Hux asks, flat.

“I need your personal information about the Resistance. About its members and their current locations. Without it, I don't stand a chance of finding it,” Kylo admits, hating the fact that he needs Hux, that he needs to cooperate with him to advance in their quest.

“Is that so?” a slight smile slips past Hux's stoic – or as much as he can muster in his state, anyway – facade when he looks at Ren. It doesn't look very nice though. “Once I'll be able to leave my chambers, I will assign someone to share the information with you, if the Supreme Leader insists...”

“I want you to do it personally,” Ren snaps, mad at Hux again as he sees the grin on his face.

“Why?” the general tilts his head to a side a little. “But again, all the information is in my office,” he finishes the cup.

“I hate dealing with random stormtroopers,” Kylo barks in response, knowing it's true just partially. He feels irrationally hurt that even after everything he did for Hux today, he still doesn't find him worthy of his own precious time. Even in matters of this importance.

The general looks at him as he puts the cup on the table, a curious idea being born in his mind. “The tea was good,” he compliments Ren, as he shifts in his bed again.

“What?” The knight answers, the anger still resonating in his voice, even though he's slowly calming down again, not quite believing his ears. This is the first situation ever that Hux doesn't seem to be utterly disgusted by Ren's behavior.

“The tea,” the general repeats, “you made it well,” he can almost see the fluffy puppy ears all perked up for compliments and the tail wagging furiously. This is so easy.

“Are you making a fun of me?” Kylo's eyes widen as he starts to examine Hux's expression thoroughly. There is no way he could truly mean it... or is there?

“It was certainly better than the one before it,” Hux shrugs his shoulders a little, even though it's not very visible as he is lying down.

“So?” Ren keeps staring at him puzzled, not knowing what the general is trying to achieve by this.

“I'm just saying...” the ginger shakes his head. “You asked about the last one, you know...” he reminds Kylo.

“Ah.” The taller male utters, still unable to understand Hux's point. “But why are you telling me now when I want to solve something else with you?!”

“It just occurred to me, as I finished it up,” the general says, before unwillingly getting back to their previous topic, “as I said, all the information is in my office. Once I'll be able to leave this place, I'll tell you about the Resistance.”

“Very well.” The knight finally seems to be satisfied. “The sooner you give it to me, the sooner I will leave you alone. I have strict orders to leave as soon as possible.”

“Are you planning on sitting in my room until I give it to you?” Hux asks and he wouldn't be even surprised. Not after all Ren did today and yesterday.

“If it helps to speed the process, yes,” Ren seems to be rather determined to do so.

“It won't,” the general says, looking at him as if he just grew another head. Not that he would back off in any way, even if it meant to bear having the knight in his quarters for several days. “I'll tell you when I'm thirsty again,” he says as he turns around to try to sleep.

“So... you're planning to keep me here to take care of you?!” Ren snaps again, this time pissed off only because the redheaded male turned away from him.

“If you so much insist on being here...” Hux shrugs again. He keeps the part about Kylo looking like he strangely enjoys taking care of the general, to himself. It startles him a little, as it actually takes him a little while to realize just how creepy and sick it is, the general himself maybe not minding all that much as he would like to look.

“Why do you think I insist on being here? I have my own quarters.”

“Yet, you are sitting here even after we talked about everything you wanted to talk about...” Hux points out. “You are free to go, it would certainly be more comfortable to sleep without a creep looking at my back.”

“I am not a creep,” Kylo snaps at him. “I don't see a reason why you should insult me this way. In many ways I'm superior to you and always will be. You and your precious troops would be nothing without me.”

Hux battles with himself for just the tiniest little while – wanting to just close his eyes and to ignore everything – but he can't really let this opportunity slip past his fingers even as he feels like dying of tiredness, pain and the need for a fucking _cigarette_ . “You are an incompetent child, Ren, innocently making up fairy tales about you grandfather you want to follow, not even handling you own mess, making _me_ clean _everything_ up afterwards. You don't even belong here!” he sighs, “god... leave!”

“Then you could go and try to find the map all by yourself,” Ren challenges him.

“Yes!” he turns around just to give Ren the deadliest glare. “Once I'm able to go, I'll gladly go, probably suited for the job much more than you, as I have information about the Resistance!” he starts coughing and turns back again.

“The information is not everything,” the knight answers coldly, wanting to insult this bastard in any possible way, finally learning that he won't achieve this particular goal by breaking his possessions. He can always strangle some trooper later on to get rid of his anger. “You are barely able to stand. How do you suppose to actually get up and to find something?” he continues.

“I'll be able to stand up properly soon enough.”

“I will find it before you even get up from the bed,” Kylo barks at him, standing up from the chair.

Hux sighs deeply and pulls himself up to sit with his back against the wall. “Good,” he says. “I'm not racing you, Ren,” he gives him tired look, apparently calming himself up and letting this pointless argument be. “It will actually make everything easier, if you find it even before I can get up. Not that I would believe you are capable of it though...” maybe, this was just the right way to make the knight leave.

“I'm _more_ than capable of finding it!” Ren now properly shouts, banging his fist against the piano about which he doesn't know how much the general holds it dear.

The general straightens himself at the sound, frowning terribly. “Get. The. Fuck. _Out_!” he hisses, look of utter despise in his eyes. It takes only a moment before he finally breaks and opens a drawer of his night stand to get a box of cigarettes out, so he doesn't have to stand up and to try to strangle the utter piece of shit with his bare hands in his current condition.

“No!” Kylo shrieks at him back, his voice sounding hysterical and high-pitched, completely forgetting about his resolution not to throw tantrums in front of Hux.

The general completely ignores him, taking a lighter to his hand and lighting up a cigarette, his hands shaking slightly. He has never before smoked in his bedroom, quite strict to do it only in kitchen with the ventilation on. He gets up, looking through the knight, as he walks towards the piano, taking a deep puff, then coughing violently. “Good...” he says in hoarse trembling voice, then caresses the piano as it looks like it didn't visibly break. He is tempted to sit by it to try, but as he takes another puff, his vision swirls and everything blurs and he doesn't even process it completely before he falls to the floor, losing his consciousness.

“Hux!” Ren turns around quickly, catching the ginger before he falls on the floor. He's staring at his limp body for several moments, then taking him into his arms and putting him on the bed way more gently than expected.

“Hux? Hux, wake up!” the knight is shouting as if it could possibly help, not having a clue about what to do in this situation. What did he do?! Did he break Hux completely? _How_?!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, it's already getting fluffy in a way. I didn't even remember that. But Hux is trying to fight it hard... except he gets drunk in this one.

As Hux wakes up again, a terrible headache adds to all of his current symptoms. He feels like dying would be the least terrible thing happening to him, and he growls as he remembers how he lost consciousness, then looks around in the search of Ren.

The knight is sitting next to him, watching him closely. “Are you okay?” he asks the first stupid question coming into his mind.

The general takes in the way Kylo sits on his bed, worried look on his face. He swallows all the biting remarks that come to mind in fear of another such outburst of his. “No,” he closes his eyes again, trying to soothe the headache, feeling almost like crying, really. “The piano?” he asks.

“I did not damage it,” he answers, pushing another cup of tea into his hand. “You can try it if you want to.”

Hux takes it, looks at the drink then back at the knight, quite not sure what to think. “Not right now,” he admits, as he wouldn't probably be able to stand. He takes the tea, half-heatedly hoping Ren poisoned it. “How long was I out?” he keeps on asking. “Were you here the whole time?” he is starting to feel rather uneasy as he realizes the knight must have carried him to his bed.

“I was,” the black haired male admits unwillingly. “You were unconscious for five hours. Maybe more.”

“God...” Hux mutters into his cup which he already brought to his lips. He is surprised it's just the right kind of nicely warm – the knight couldn't possibly know when he'll wake up. But he doesn't ask about it, nor he ask about  _ what was Ren doing in his quarters _ . “Thanks...” he manages to say towards the tea just to say something more, the silence getting awkward and uncomfortable.

Ren nods, still sitting on the bed, watching Hux who looks – thanks to his  _ special treatment _ – worse than ever. His skin is so pale that he looks more like a corpse than a living person, his eyes blurry and tired. Kylo is realizing very well that the general's current condition is his fault, feeling slightly guilty about it.

“I'm sorry,” he mumbles, not daring to look into Hux's eyes.

“Oh...” Hux isn't really able to react in any other way than looking at him in utter surprise. “Never touch my piano... ever again... please...” he sighs, making little waves on the surface of his tea.

Kylo nods rigidly. “Do you like playing it?” he asks another obvious question, feeling incredibly awkward himself.

“I do... enjoy playing it... in a way...” the general takes a sip again, putting the tea on the table and dragging the blanket all the way up to his face. “I'm quite fond of it...” he admits almost inaudibly. He doesn't even try to send Ren away this time, completely beaten.

“I see,” the knight nods. “I thought you might be. Your reaction was quite hysterical, considering how you behave normally.”

“Thank you...” this time, the general even feels like laughing, was he not so desperately tired and was it not so hard to just breathe. “From you it almost sounds like a compliment...”

“It wasn't,” the other male replies. “I was just pointing out the fact,” he simply states, not seeing a point in praising the ginger in any way. He stays silent for another few moments and his gaze fixes on the piano again. “Will you play it for me once you get better?”

The general doesn't comment on the unnoticed sarcasm. He raises his eyebrows at the question, giving Ren rather strange look. “Fine...” he sighs. “I may,” he nods after a while, “if you'll finally let me sleep.”

“I never said you can't sleep,” Ren answers without a single thought, but not moving an inch, still sitting comfortably on his bed, almost as if he didn't get that Hux is probably pretty disturbed by the fact.

“You did, you kept me up to talk to you...” Hux just shakes his head. “Whatever...” he looks at him for a while and as the knight doesn't look like he would ever leave, he just turns to get to a more comfortable position, closing his eyes again. He'll just have to ignore the fact that this terrible disastrous child looks like it wants to keep sitting on his bed. Hux has no idea what Kylo is about anymore.

The brunette is staring at his trembling torso with a great interest. He is probably starting to get sick too as he realizes that in his own way he feels sorry that the general ended in this condition because of him. “Do you want me to leave?” he finally asks in voice which is very soft, when there is no trace of anger in it.

Hux doesn't even look at him. “Do whatever you want...” he says, as he still doesn't want to keep him in his quarters – even though he is so tired, he doesn't care anymore – but can't tell him that, afraid the child would be angered again.

“Fine.” Ren answers, to Hux's surprise really getting up. “Call me if you needed anything. I will be on the bridge.” He takes the mask into his hands, putting it on and leaving with the loud thudding of his armored boots.

The general really looks at his leaving silhouette in something of an utter disbelief, his tired pale face adding to the image. He sighs in relief, as the door slides shut behind the knight, even though it somehow feels strange, being alone out of nowhere after all this time. He may have gotten used to his presence, which makes the redhead really uneasy – especially, as Ren's presence means only troubles. He shakes his head a little to get rid of such thoughts, growls in pain at his headache and closes his eyes to finally sleep this all off peacefully.

 

 

Meanwhile Ren spends the evening on the bridge, being even a bigger pain in the ass than usually since there's no Hux to keep him in his place. The general is the only one except of Snoke who's able to tame him at least partially. Since the atmosphere on the bridge is tense from the beginning of Kylo's presence, only graduating in creepiness, everybody’s relieved when the knight finally leaves. He comes to grab a dinner in the officer's canteen, taking one more plate, heading to Hux's quarters, banging on the door again.

He wakes the other up, but as Hux is already all too used to this, he doesn't even growl, getting slowly up to open the door. “Ren...” he whispers, not capable of anything louder. He lets the other in without protesting.

“Hux,” the brunette nods, entering his quarters. “I've brought you a dinner,” he continues, putting it on the nightstand next to his bed.

“Why?” the general stays where he is, looking at Kylo like he was a ghost. He is starting to believe he is hallucinating the whole time. But his stomach growls and he realizes just how hungry he is, as he haven't eaten for almost two days.

“You need to eat in order to get better,” he answers plainly. “And you promised to give me the information once you are able to leave your room.”

“Yes,” the general nods and walks back to his bed. He sits and takes the tea to finish it, even though it's disgusting, as it's tasteless and cold, only irritating his throat more. “Thanks, Ren...” he says quietly, giving up all his bad attitude just to have all this over as quickly as possible.

“You are welcome,” Kylo responds, sitting on the piano chair again, watching Hux as to assure himself that he eats the dinner.

“Are you eating here?” Hux asks but it doesn't really sounds as a question as he can't muster up the strength to care anymore. He covers himself again, taking the plate, examining the food. He is sure it's going to hurt like hell to swallow it all, but the hunger beats the pain as he starts eating.

“Yes. You know I don't like eating in the canteen.” Ren answers, taking off his mask once again.

“But you don't mind in front of me?” Hux asks, looking at him questioningly. The food is simple, but well done, as expected of the First Order cooks, and it does his stomach good. He is not even trembling all that much anymore.

“I don't,” Ren shakes his head slightly. “You've seen me without a mask already anyway.”

”But I still haven't seen you doing anything normal or  _ human _ .” He remarks, coughing a little. He looks at the cup, but gives up as it's already empty.

“I have made you a tea,” Ren points out.

“I haven't seen it,” Hux answers, looking at him. “The only thing I saw was you standing in my kitchen, surrounded by teabags and burning a hole in my kettle with your eyes...” he shrugs a little. “Not very normal way...”

“I wasn't burning your kettle,” Kylo snaps. “It was only quicker that way.”

“I didn't mean it literally,” Hux frowns, “I just thought you hated it for being mine, but... did you actually boil the water for my tea with you sorcery?” he gives the knight resigned look.

“I did,” Kylo answers as if it was the most normal thing in the universe. “Does it seem so odd to you?”

“Yes,” Hux says sharply, almost coughing again. “Yes, it does,” then he sighs. “Ren,” he says, giving Kylo quite the look, “once I'm better, I'll teach you the proper way to make tea...” he looks at him examining his face thoroughly. “Now I'm quite curious how you actually eat.”

“I eat exactly the same way as you do,” the knight answers, taking the cutlery into his hands. “I can't do everything by using the Force, you know. The ordinary everyday activities mostly. And even if I could, it takes energy to use the Force. It would be unnecessarily exhausting to keep using it the whole day.” The knight doesn't know why he shares with Hux such a private information about his life and about the secrets of using the Force.

_ And yet, you show it off here like a little child _ , stays unspoken in Hux's mind as he takes another bite. “Based on your behavior, I'm quite surprised you say such things...” he remarks.

_ You're not the only one who's surprised _ , Kylo thinks, but utters only one word. “Why?”

“'I can't do everything' is certainly not something I'd ever expected you to say,” the general admits, setting his plate away still half full, as he had quite enough. He hasn’t eaten in two days after all.

“But it's true,” the knight answers, taking another bite, looking unlike Kylo Ren at all as he keeps speaking with full mouth. “For example, you cannot possibly use the Force while going to the toilet,” he continues, looking so serious that it nearly seems comical considering the topic.

For several moments Hux just looks at him, eyes wide, mouth slightly open, as he contemplates whether this Knight of Ren is really just a hallucination. He blinks, then bursts out laughing, his laugh rapidly changing into violent coughs. “God...” he gets out of himself, “I really- ugh...” he shakes his head. “That's really not something I wanted to imagine...” he is almost crying.

“What is so funny about it?” Ren asks, completely taken aback by the general's reaction. He's never heard him laugh. And definitely not because of anything Kylo has said. Ever.

It takes Hux quite a while to calm himself down. He takes a few deep breaths before answering. “It's hard to explain if you don't know yourself...” he says. “Normal people just don't say such things...” he shrugs a little. He looks at Ren, finally fully realizing what just happened. The knight – no matter it was unintentional – made him laugh like he hasn't laughed in years.

“Ah. I see,” the brunette looks at him, taking another bite of his meal. “You haven't finished your meal,” he nods in the direction of the ginger's plate.

The general fights a smile. “You don't have the slightest idea...” he says and it doesn't even sound like he means it in a bad way. “I'm not hungry anymore...” he adds then.

“But you should eat. You haven't eaten properly in several days. I can feel you are in a weakened condition.” There is a slight trace of something unusual in Kylo's voice. Could he... possibly really care at least a bit?

“Are you worried about me?” Hux tilt his head to a side, not commenting on the weakened condition part as he can't even properly walk. “I'll finish it later, I'm getting thirsty anyway,” he starts to get up.

“I'll bring you the water. You should stay in the bed. I don't want to be bringing you unconscious back to the bed as I had to yesterday.” The knight stands up, putting his plate on the general's piano.

Hux freezes. “Don't!” he barks, completely forgetting he wanted to react to Kylo's words.

“What?” the knight looks at him, puzzled.

“The piano!” Hux growls, “you promised not to destroy it.”

“Ah.” Ren turns around, moving the plate to Hux's table. “I haven't realized. Sorry.”

The ginger looks at him, frowning a little, as for just the slightest moment, he could see the ears and tail again. Could it really be that Kylo actually wanted the general to... get along with him? “Thanks...” he utters and the look Ren gives him equals the look of a dog being praised, as the imaginary ears perk up happily.

“Stay here,” Ren nods, heading to the kitchen to get the glass of water, returning in a few moments, handing it over to the general. “Do you want another cup of tea?” he asks, sounding unexpectedly caring in comparison with his usual self.

“You'd do it with the Force again?” Hux asks, sounding almost like it would poison him just like that. He shifts, getting more comfortable, narrowing his eyes in strangely lazy way, like a tired cat. It is certainly true he is still quite weak and wouldn't mind another rest.

“Of course,” the brunette answers, examining his face, finding it oddly attractive in a way. “Does it bother you so much?”

“It's just a cup of tea... It's not supposed to be made that way...” he sighs.

“I don't know any other way to make it,” Kylo admits. “I've never tried to make tea before.”

“You boil water on the stove...” Hux instructs him. “Then pour it in the cup, I think you got that part right enough...” he doesn't think it's worth it to try to explain anything about the right temperature right now. “You may want to try not to throw the tea bags all over my kitchen,” he adds a slight smile to tease the other in a nice way, blaming it on the fever.

“It was an accident,” the knight snaps, trying to assure the other that he did it unintentionally. “Like I said, I've never tried to make tea before.”

“You did well,” Hux nods. It comes to him that he could  _ wink _ at the  _ boy  _ and he utterly startles himself, shifting to lay down, not looking at the knight. “As I said, the last one was quite good,” he adds trying not to offend Kylo by turning away. The red color in his cheeks, as well as all of his confused thoughts are surely due to the fever.

“Thank you,” Ren responds, taking a couple of steps closer to him. “Is your fever getting worse?”

“Probably...” the redhead nods again.

“I'm sorry,” Kylo utters after a few seconds, as if not sure what to say, blinking as he imagines himself putting his hand on Hux's forehead to check his temperature, as his own mother used to do in his childhood.

“Do you enjoy it?” Hux asks as he looks up at the knight looking at him with such an interest.

“Maybe,” Kylo shrugs his shoulders, willingly revealing his feelings once again. “You're easier to be dealt with this way. I find it... refreshing.”

“It doesn't really make me happy in any way...” the general sighs. “But of course it's not surprising you enjoy my pain and suffering,” he adds, not really sure why.

“I don't enjoy neither your pain nor suffering,” Ren corrects Hux quickly. “But you are not the only one who hasn't been able to imagine the other acting human in any way until now.”

“Thanks,” Hux says, then coughs, his throat getting really rather raspy. He finally remembers the water and stretches his hand to take it from where he left it on the night stand. “It's still quite hard for me,” he says. “Ren, do something human – except the toilet part, please – so we are even,” he looks at him as he drinks.

The taller male is staring at him in silence for several moments before finally answering. “Very well.” Then he turns and walks away into the kitchen.

“I need to see it in order for us to be even,” Hux remarks a little louder, even as it hurts, just giving in to the fever and behaving like he hasn't since before he went to the academy.

“You want to watch me making your tea...?” Kylo looks at him in utter disbelief.

Hux doesn't even think about it. “Yes,” he nods.

“As you wish,” the knight shrugs his shoulders. “Follow me then. If you're able to.” He adds the last sentence as if to challenge him.

“Are you mocking me, Ren?” Hux asks, getting up with difficulties. He takes a deep breath, stopping for a while as part of him really protests about this childish behavior. He tries to straighten himself up as he walks to the kitchen where he sits by the table.

The knight gets to the kitchen, watching Hux in case he was about to collapse again. “I'm not mocking you,” he answers, taking a kettle into his hand. “I've told you before that I just don't wanna have to be bringing you unconscious into your bed again.”

“Did you carry me the princess style?” he asks. “God, I don't even want to imagine...” he just shakes his head. “Never tell anyone about this...” he looks quite destroyed about the thought of anyone else finding out about his time with the knight.

“Trust me, my sentiments don't differ from yours.” Kylo answers, a glimpse of smile visible on his face. “And yes, I did carry you the princess style,” he adds, closely examining Hux's reaction.

The general coughs violently for a while. “You should have left me there...” he growls, just the idea making him feel so much worse. Yet he himself keeps watching the knight, actually really curious about his tea making.

“I'm very sure that the supreme leader wouldn't be amused if I left you to die,” Ren answers, his voice starting to sound a bit amused as he notices Hux's disgusted reaction. “But as I am watching you, I am almost tempted to do it again just to see your face.”

“God, no...” the general watches him as if to find out what Ren is thinking. Then he gets up again, going to one of his cupboards. As he opens it, it's visibly almost empty, left for a few bottles. He takes out half empty bottle of Coruscant rum – it's obviously vintage and must have been quite expensive – and puts it next to the box of teabags Kylo decided to use. “Use this,” he instructs him.

“Instead of water?” the brunette asks as he has no idea whether it's normal or not.

Hux blinks, suppressing another laugh for a while, then he gives him quite a confused look. “Have you actually seen anything like this ever before?” he asks.

“Not quite,” he admits. “I don't drink.”

“But you know it's alcohol...” the general nods. “Add just a little bit...” he says.

“I know what it is,” Ren raises an eyebrow. “The fact that I don't drink doesn't make me entirely stupid. Even though I'm pretty sure you think so,” he adds bitterly.

“I don't think you are entirely stupid,” the general remarks. “I wouldn't work with you if I thought so...” he returns to the chair by his kitchen table.

“Really?” Kylo looks at him as if he saw him for the first time, almost waving his fluffy imaginary tail. “I thought you despise me for that.”

“I despise you for quite a handful of things,” the redhead remarks with a nod, “but you are trying...” he admits, more than just that in his words. But he wouldn't really say out loud that Kylo is  _ sometimes _ capable, doing his work just right.

Kylo is standing there, only staring at Hux. He doesn't quite know how to react to the general's last words. He realizes, as he's watching him, that he doesn't want Hux to hate him, since he's found out during the last few days that the ginger male is quite an interesting person, definitely not as insufferable as he's thought all the time.

Hux nervously gives him something of a smile, not sure what the other thinks, as he just stares blankly. “The kettle,” he reminds him, as the water is boiling quite violently already.

Ren looks at it, puzzled. “What I should do next?” he asks like a five year old child.

“Turn off the fire, be careful not to burn yourself, wait for two minutes, then pour it over the teabag…” the older instructs him. “Leave a little space for the rum…” he adds.

Ren nods, doing exactly as the general instructs him without any tiresome remarks. Actually, without any remarks at all. He takes the kettle into his hands, quietly hissing in pain as he burns his fingers.

The general just shakes his head. “You’ll have to work on your human skills a little more,” he says quietly.

“I’m trying,” the younger one hisses, staring at his fingers. It doesn’t hurt much since he’s gotten used to far worse pain over the years, but this is exactly the kind of pain he’s not used to. Yet, apparently.

“You are managing better than I thought,” Hux admits, getting up and walking back to him to oversee what Ren is doing.

“It’s alright,” the knight answers. “I’m quite used to pain,” he continues, looking at Hux. “You can sit down again if you want.”

“What kind of pain?” the general asks. “Show me your hands, Kylo,” he says.

“Not particularly this one,” he answers, trying to hide his hands, feeling a bit odd as he imagines the general to examine them. “I’m fine,” he mumbles stubbornly, retreating a bit in confusion of Hux calling him by his first name.

At his reaction the general realizes what he has done, taking a step back. Is he actually starting to care for this clumsy child as well? He stretches his hand a little, turning the water on, “put them here, the cold water will help,” he says, not quite looking at Ren, but as the knight doesn’t move, he forcibly takes his hands into his own, moving them under the stream.

Kylo jerks away a bit, startled by the touch of Hux’s warm hands. He imagined the other man to be way less gentle, but his hands are actually very soft and smooth since the general wears his gloves on most of the time. “Thank you,” he mumbles, feeling his cheeks irrationally flushing.

Hux blinks at him again, feeling the fever worsen rapidly. He lets Ren’s hands go abruptly, taken aback by the look on his face and the way he looks like an innocent little puppy, just wanting to be patted. “I’m going back to bed,” he says hastily, “don’t forget the rum.”

“I won’t,” the knight mumbles again, still keeping his hands under the freezing water until he can’t feel them anymore. After a while he takes the kettle into his hands again, being way more careful this time. He pours the water into the cup, adding the rum – not quite sure about the amount – bringing it to Hux, his cheeks still a bit pink. “Here you go,” he pushes the tea into his hands, determinedly staring the other way.

“Thanks…” Hux says quietly, not looking at Kylo as well. He sniffs the tea, taking in the smell of the rum, completely clueless as to what should he say or do at all.

Kylo sits on the edge of Hux’s bed, daring to look at him once more. “Did I make it well?” he asks.

“It smells good,” Hux says, nodding a little, then tastes it carefully. “I like it…” he adds. He looks at the other, as Ren is sitting on the edge of his bed again “You can bring the chair closer, you know,” he points at the piano chair with his chin, while trying to persuade himself he actually minds the knight on his bed.

“I don’t mind sitting here,” he replies, clueless that the general might actually not want him to stay on his bed.

“…fine,” Hux mutters into his cup. He feels himself blushing, but as he can’t actually even remember himself being flushed – ever – he is sure it’s the fever. He takes a huge sip of the liquid, tasting it.

“Are you sure you are alright? Your fever seems to be rising. Did I use too much rum?” Kylo is watching his flushed cheeks with an expression, which could almost remind concern.

“The amount of rum is just perfect,” the general nods, starting to feel it a little already, as his only food in the last two days was half of the portion Ren brought him.

“Then your fever must be rising again,” Kylo gets up and before he realizes what he’s doing, he lays his hand on Hux’s forehead.

The ginger narrows his eyes, the cold touch rather pleasant to his skin. “Your hand feels nice,” he mutters, not realizing his words yet again.

“Does it?” the brunette stares at him in disbelief, his cheeks flushing again too. “You must be sicker than I thought.”

The general looks at him, realization of the situation they are in sinking in quite deep. “I must be…” he nods.

Ren nods too, but doesn’t move his hand away. He can’t stop staring at Hux’s red cheeks, trying his best not to focus on the fact that with some color in general’s normally completely pale face he actually looks quite handsome. Almost cute, Ren realizes, closing his eyes to make the image disappear.

“You… you can actually move your hand away, you know,” the general tries to sound persuading, his voice fading away as he looks at Ren’s lips, just the slightest little bit parted, pale and looking disturbingly soft. Hux blinks, then turns away himself, sipping his tea, not even trying to figure out what is going on, as his life just probably turned into some kind of a disastrous nightmare and he only needs to wait a little longer before he wakes up and everything gets better.

“Sorry,” Kylo jerks away again as he forgot about the general’s presence for a moment, finally pulling the hand away. “You should take some pills to lower the fever down.”

“I hate pills,” the general grimaces at the idea, “and they shouldn’t be combined with alcohol…”

“Then you should sleep at least,” the taller male answers, not having a clue when the hell did he become so caring.

“Yes,” the redhead nods, finishing his tea in one go, then shifting to lay down more comfortably.

Ren stands up once again, taking the empty glass from Hux’s nightstand, filling it with cold refreshing water, bringing it back to its place, sitting back to his spot on the bed.

“Are you planning on keeping a guard here?” Hux gives him a puzzled look. “You may carry me the princess style, but I don’t actually need a knight to be by my side while I sleep,” he remarks, the rum getting to his head. He actually gives Ren a slight smile so the younger doesn’t take it in a bad way.

“I am not your knight,” Kylo answers rather calmly, surprising even himself. “Hux, you are drunk.”

“But you are a knight, aren’t you?” the older remarks, then nods, not sure himself if it’s more to accompany his own words, or to agree with Ren.

“I am,” Kylo raises an eyebrow, “but definitely not yours.”

“Whose then?” Hux looks at him.

“Nobody’s,” Ren barks, losing his temper as he really imagines being Hux’s  _ personal _ knight.

Hux smiles at him again: “You know,” he starts, a little drunken twinkle in his eyes, “I’ve actually never said anything about you being  _ my  _ knight,” he points out.

Kylo snorts grumpily, but the twinkle in the general’s eyes catches his attention, preventing him from the wave of anger he was beginning to feel. “Good,” he snaps. “Because I’ll never be!”

Hux looks at him for a while, examining him, his vision not as sharp as he is used to. “Is that a challenge?” he asks, frowning, “because I’m not taking it…” he shakes his head, closing his eyes. “You told me to sleep, yet you won’t let me…” he sighs.

“I will,” the knight gets up quickly, getting scared that the general might actually mean his words. “I’m willing to challenge you in many ways, but definitely not in this one. Sleep, Hux, and stop talking this nonsense.”

“This is why you won’t let me sleep,” the general remark even as he is still shifting into more comfortable position. “In what ways would you challenge me?” he asks without opening his eyes, explaining with the question what he means.

“Why do you keep asking me if you complain you can’t sleep because of me?” Ren responds with another question.

There’s a quiet pause until Kylo can hear something of a muffled mutter and the general’s breathing gets much calmer and steadier.

The black haired man examines Hux’s face once more, calming himself down as he finds out that he’s fast asleep.  _ Finally _ , he thinks, but he’s still unable to move, his gaze fixed on Hux’s flawless face. Then at last he realizes how incredibly sick it all is, leaving his quarters, not even bothering to put his mask on anymore, leaving it on Hux’s table.

 

 

Several hours later, as Hux leaves the bathroom, he looks at the helmet with a sigh. It’s morning again and quite early, but as his head is threatening to explode at every abrupt move, he goes right back to his bed. One more day, he ensures himself, and he’ll be able to finally go back to work. The ship is probably already in utter chaos without him. He looks at the helmet again, sure, that if it was not for Kylo Ren, he would be able to return the day before yesterday.

Meanwhile the knight dresses up in his black robes, wanting to get himself a breakfast and to finally get to the bridge to oversee everything Hux’s now unable to do. As he is fully clothed in his traditional garments, he realizes that a very important part is missing. Of course, he left his mask in Hux’s room again, this time maybe a bit intentionally, just to have an excuse to visit the general again. Since Ren is unwilling to go for a breakfast before putting the bloody thing on, the first thing he does after leaving his quarters is to head to Hux, banging on his door again.

The ginger closes his eyes for a while, sharp pain in his head only adding to his bad mood. He is starting to hate the sound more than anything, slowly walking to the door to let the insufferable child in. “Is there any chance you’ll take the thing and leave me to my suffering?” he asks without greetings.

“Has something happened?” the knight answers carefully, staring at Hux. He looks absolutely terrible. The bags under his eyes are twice bigger than the night before, his face looks as pale as porcelain. Ren can see the general shaking as he left the comfortable warm bed.

“My head hurts, Ren,” he answers quietly. “You – as you are obviously unable to be subtle about anything – are not helping at all… I just need a little more sleep and I’ll be able to get back on the bridge…” it’s like a mantra, maybe if he repeated it long enough, it would cure him.

“You should probably take the pills,” Kylo points out, really not helping the situation at all.

“No…” the other gives him a glare. “It dulls the senses and makes one besotted,” he answers and then frowns. “And it makes you feel like shit right away and not the day after as the booze does.”

“I cannot tell,” the taller one answers, “I was never sick in my life. I have no need of taking pills.”

“Or drinking, obviously…” the other mutters, then moves a little, “are you coming in?”

“Should I?” the knight raises an eyebrow. “I have to go to the bridge. Since you are sick, I was told by the supreme leader to oversee the progress of building the Starkiller Base myself.”

“But your mask is on my nightstand,” Hux reminds him bitterly.

“So? Are you so afraid to touch it?” Ren sounds almost sassy.

“I’ve already touched it before and it was quite enough…” the older remarks. “It crept me out through the night, take it away…” he waves his hand, turning to go back to his bedroom himself.

“As you wish,” Kylo answers, entering the room, accidentally stepping on the bare foot of the poor general with his heavy armored boot.

“Ren!” the general shouts, jerking away almost hysterically, “you fucking monster!” he tries to jump away, his head hurting much more from the shouting. He trips a little, losing balance.

The knight turns around as quickly as possible, grasping Hux’s hand, pulling him closer to keep him standing, almost embracing him. “What’s happened?” he asks puzzled, not having a clue what he’s done this time.

“You stepped on my foot,” Hux growls, resignedly leaning into his chest, closing his eyes, feeling like dying right away. “If you want to destroy me so much, you should have done it quickly…”

“I don’t want to destroy you,” Kylo sighs, feeling really sorry for the beaten general, giving him something reminding an awkward excuse of a hug as his head lies on the knight’s shoulder. “It was an accident.”

“God…” the general mutters, not moving an inch. “Are you trying to hug me?” he asks in strangled voice, as if it was the last straw for him to really and utterly break. “Are you actually trying to  _ cuddle _ me? To  _ cuddle me better _ ?”

“No,” Ren mumbles, looking away. “You were falling. I just caught you,” he tries to rationally explain the situation even to himself. And yet it’s unexplainable since he’s almost embracing the general whom he hates so much.

“I’m not falling anymore…” the redhead points out. His eyes are still closed and he notices the knight smells faintly of a strangely  _ sweet _ scent, probably soap. It’s disturbing to smell Kylo Ren even through his armor. It’s disturbing to smell Kylo Ren. It's disturbing. “You smell like a girl…” he utters.

“What?” the knight snaps, slightly pushing him away. “I don’t!”

The general fights the need to ask him what kind of soap he uses, realizing just how awkward the question would be. He tries to get away from him fully, shaking his head. “You do… probably more than Phasma…” he hisses a little as he stands on the stomped foot. “You broke my leg…” he growls.

“Phasma is not a woman,” Ren utters, taking the general into his hands, putting him on the bed without a single word. “I’m sorry about your leg,” he adds a few seconds later.

“What the fuck did you just do?” Hux blinks after a while of utter shock. He completely forgot what he wanted to say about Phasma, he just stares.

“I brought you to your bed,” Kylo states the obvious again. “You said you can’t walk.”

“God, Ren, I never said that!” he almost shrieks, as the realization of being carried by the knight while fully awake sinks deeper and deeper. “Even if both my legs were completely broken I’d rather crawl!” he tries to sound persuading.

“Yesterday you were wondering how I carried you to your bed. You don’t have to anymore since I’ve shown you.” Ren shrugs his shoulders, his expression unreadable.

“I was not wondering…” Hux sighs, “I said I don’t even want to imagine…” he closes his eyes, trying really hard to forget, but the vision keeps repeating in his head more and more vividly.

“I’m sorry then,” Kylo barks at him. “I’ve only tried to help you and yet the only thing you do is insulting me.”

“Don’t try then… you make my headache worse day by day, you break my leg, try to destroy my piano…” he names just few. “Make me a cup of tea, that’s the only thing you are capable of doing without hurting me…” he closes his eyes, beaten look on his face.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” the knight utters, the look of despise in his face again. “I’m not your slave to make you the tea. Since you’re clearly able to walk by yourself – or crawl, as you just said – you can make it by yourself too_-.” Kylo turns away from him, looking at his hands. The fingers are still red and swollen, full of blisters on the fingertips.

“Well, if you don’t want to make yourself useful, take the thing and leave,” Hux nods to the helmet, which is still on his nightstand. “You took your revenge already, so there’s no point in you remaining in my quarters…” he says as he notices Ren examining his fingers, then shifts to cover himself to sleep again, his stomach growling quietly.

“You’re hungry,” the knight states, completely ignoring everything Hux just said.

“You don’t say…” It’s desperate.

“I’m going for a breakfast anyway,” Ren finally looks at him again, stopping examining his fingers. “Shall I bring something even for you?”

“Whatever…” the general doesn’t sound amused. “The password is seven, two, four, one, one, three, don’t forget the helmet,” he instructs.

The brunette nods, putting the mask on, finally looking like the good old Knight of Ren Hux knows. “I’m going then,” he states in his mechanical voice, leaving the general’s quarters.

Hux tries to suppress the idea that by giving Ren the password it looks like he wants him to come back.

Meanwhile Ren arrives at the officer’s canteen, taking two plates with food, not noticing the looks which he’s getting from the other people present, who find weird the fact he’s carrying two plates instead of one. Is it possible that the knight developed a habit of eating with someone in private?

He leaves as soon as possible, not wanting to stay among these people for too long, returning to Hux’s quarters, this time only quietly opening the door.

“I’ve brought you the breakfast,” he says the obvious again.

“Thanks…” Hux just briefly looks at him. “You really broke my leg…” he says then out of nowhere. “It’s starting to get swollen and I can’t move it properly…” he sounds so resigned it’s pitiful. “I’ll have to go the infirmary again…”

“Is it really so bad?” the knight asks, sounding almost caring under his mask. Whether it’s true or not Hux can’t really tell.

“I don’t know…” the other just sighs, taking the plate to examine the breakfast. He doesn’t really feel like eating, as his head still hurts and his stomach is quite unstable after everything, but he is quite aware he surely must have even lost several pounds since he collapsed the first time. He carefully picks a piece of vegetable to taste it.

“I’m sorry,” the knight repeats, truly meaning it this time, taking his mask off once again to eat his own breakfast.

“Hmm…” is all Hux can do with his mouth full, but he nods.

Ren seems satisfied with this answer and takes the cutlery into his hands again, eating silently, ignoring the general completely. It’s clearly obvious from his behavior that the knight hasn’t eaten in company of others for quite a long time.

The general looks at him, examining him for a while, “I’ll sleep again after the meal, so you can go once you finish the breakfast…” he remarks. He’s planning to really go to the infirmary, once he wakes up, but he doesn’t need Ren for that, nor he wants him to accompany him.

Ren shrugs, startled by his voice which disrupted his daily ritual, turning to him with his mouth full, looking oddly ordinary like this.

“In my wildest dreams I wouldn’t imagine you eating breakfast in my quarters looking like this…” Hux says. “How old are you, anyway?” It occurs to him that he has no idea, but like this the knight doesn’t even seem to be older than a teen.

“Twenty nine,” Kylo mumbles, swallowing the mouthful. “And you?”

“For real?” Hux’s eyes widen, because he wouldn’t really guess him more than twenty, based on his appearance as well as his behavior. Or based on the fact that Kylo has a piece of cake on his plate instead of fruit. “I’m thirty four…” he shrugs.

“When did you become a general? You’re quite young for such a position, are you not?” the knight is mumbling with his mouth full, not even finishing his proper food, starting to eat the cake, looking incredibly satisfied.

“Two years ago,” Hux answers. He looks at him, surprised again by his behavior. He can’t believe that this insufferable child is already almost thirty. As Ren stuffs the cake into his mouth, Hux is starting to doubt Snoke’s judgment – this cannot be his most precious pupil, a person supposed to be among the strongest.

Kylo raises an eyebrow a bit, not even imagining that Hux can find him eating the cake weird. “Why are you staring at me like this?!”

“I’m fascinated…” Hux answers truthfully. “I’d never imagine the Master of the Knights of Ren to be a little girl…” he mutters.

“What?!” Kylo snorts, starting to cough as he gasps and the cake gets stuck in his throat.

_ Just look at yourself _ is something Hux wants to say but thinks better of it, as Ren sits just by his piano. “That’s why you shouldn’t speak with your mouth full, you’ll choke on your food… children learn that…” he says instead, the meaning rather similar. “Do you need my help?”

“I’m fine,” the knight chokes, coughing a bit more, then takes several deep breaths and calms down a bit. “I’ll go and grab a glass of water,” he continues, his voice a hoarse.

Hux nods, then frowns at the idea, that Kylo Ren actually behaves in his quarters so familiarly already. He finishes his own meal, setting the plate away, and lies down, tired again.

Kylo gets up, his eyes a bit watery because of the choking. “Do you want the tea?” he asks.

“Yes, thank you…” it occurs to Hux, that probably without even realizing it, Ren is really starting to behave quite tamed by the general. It feels good in a strange way.

“You’re welcome,” he answers, retreating to the kitchen. He returns in a while, way too quickly to make the tea in the normal way, too quickly for the general not to notice.

Hux just sighs. It’s still better than the knight hurting himself or destroying the kitchen. He doesn’t even realize the fact, he just cared for Ren. “Thanks…” he takes the tea, “I actually don’t have a fever anymore…” he says, not sure why he should share this information with the other.

“That is good to hear,” the knight answers, clearly meaning it honestly. “Will you come to the bridge tomorrow?”

“I am planning to…” the other says with another nod. “If you don’’t kill me until then…” he just can’t resist.

“Why should I be killing you?” Ren looks at him, taking another bite of his cake. “I don’t have any reason to do so.”

“Yet you try quite hard…” Hux strangely smiles at him. He looks rather good tempered, but he can’t quite bring himself to care as he sees the puppy eyes looking at him with such an innocence. Ren’s childish face is cute in a way and he looks almost pitiful, devouring the cake like some kind of a lost, abandoned orphan.

“I don’t mean to,” Kylo mumbles once again with a full mouth, finally finishing the cake. “I’ve just never tried to take care of someone. You’re the first.”

“I’m honored…” the redhead says, not quite sure himself how sarcastically he really means it.

“You shouldn’t be,” Ren answers. “It’s not the sith way. Don’t get used to it much. I find you distracting to my training even though it’s just a couple of days I’ve spent with you.”

“How am I distracting you?” the ginger raises an eyebrow.

“I guess… In a way… I’m starting to care about you,” the brunette admits unwillingly, not knowing what else to say.

Hux blinks at him. “Is… is that so?” that’s all he can force himself to say, completely taken aback by what Ren has just said. “Don’t then…” he says, then looks away, feeling just the slightest little hint of crimson returning to his cheeks.

Kylo is staring at his knees as he’s sitting on the piano chair, not noticing the change of color in the general’s face. “Trust me, you’re the last one I’d want to care about. Besides, I’m pretty sure you feel the same way,” he adds, sounding very bitter.

“Leave…” the general tries to say in shaking voice. He hides his face in his hands. That’s not something he wanted to hear, nor something he wants to think about. No matter what happened in the last four days, Kylo Ren telling him he cares about him is by far the worst. No matter what happened between them or what either of them though, they still hated each other! Hated!

“I was right, wasn’t I? Even if I really cared about you, you’d still hate me.” Ren tries his best to keep his face unreadable, quite successful since he isn’t sure himself what answer he’d like to hear.

Hux looks at him, even though it’s a little unwillingly, and sighs. “That’s how it’s supposed to be,” he nods, not really answering his question. Of course he would love to hate him just as much as he did before, but he quite can’t say it properly, which makes him doubt himself.

“Yes,” Ren stands up, sighing quietly as he takes his mask into his hands. “I’m used to it anyway.” He sounds even more bitter than before, unintentionally revealing a huge part of his inner self, as he used to be the loser kid in his past and the fact he was able to control the Force didn’t help him in any way.

Hux frowns. The knight looks like he’s trying to make Hux feel sorry for him, and the general – as much as he would love to – quite can’t look at his puppy face the same way again. “Ren,” he whispers, as if it was something even beyond outrageous if he said it out louder. He doesn’t care about his past, nor about Ren’s feelings. He shouldn’t do this. “Don’t do this to me…” he looks away.

“Do what?” he asks, putting his mask on as to hide his face in front of the general.

“This…” Hux waves his hand, not able to name what he  _ feels _ . Or maybe he just doesn’t want to name it at all. “I prefer you like this,” he point out in voice still rather unsteady for the general, “I prefer the heartless monster,” he stands up himself, turning towards his bathroom. “You know the way out,” he starts to limp towards the door on the other side of the room.

“I am not a monster,” Kylo snaps, the mechanical voice sounding otherwise. “But if you prefer me like this, I shall never take my mask off in front of you ever again. It was a mistake to take it off in front of you anyway.”

“Good,” the older says as he reaches the bathroom door. “Get out finally…” he whispers as he disappears behind the door, telling it more to himself, more to get Kylo out of his mind than out of his quarters.

And the knight gets out without a single word, not planning to step into Hux’s quarters ever again. What was he thinking anyway? That he could be on a friendly basis with him?! With the cold general himself? More importantly, why would he even want that? He hates the man anyway. He  _ hates _ him. And he always will.

Hux leans against his basin, barely standing, as he looks at himself in the mirror. This whole situation is an utter disaster.  _ He  _ is an utter disaster. An utter disgrace. His whole body is aching, his head hurts like it has never hurt before, and all he can think about is the incompetent childish excuse for a  _ knight _ . For a while he looks at his pitiful face, hating himself just as much as he hates Ren, before he growls and breaks the mirror with his bare fist. At least, tomorrow will be everything back the way it used to be. He tells himself that, almost believing it. Just almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there will be angst later.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally explicit, so it's only one scene, because it's long... You'll have to wait for the angst a little longer.

The next morning Ren wakes up later than usually. He still feels quite irrationally in far worse mood than normally and the fact that he destroyed half of the corridor yesterday when he was returning to his quarters doesn't help at all. When he comes to the canteen just to find out that there is no cake left anymore, he throws his plate at the frightened cook, demolishes half of the room with his lightsaber and angrily marches to the bridge.

Hux is standing in front of the enormous window, taking in the view just as he is planning to leave for his office. The work piled up in his presence and he doesn’t see himself finishing it in less than two other days – planning to sleep just the bare minimum that is necessary. His leg is in a splint and he is leaning against a crutch, and it's not helping at all – he despises himself for the way he looks. He ignores the all too familiar sound of military boots behind him, prepared to ignore the existence responsible for it as well.

“Hux,” the general hears the insufferable mechanical voice behind his back. “I want the information you’ve promised to give me.” Ren continues without a greeting.

“Of course,” the stoic expression the ginger gives him is colder than it ever was before, his pale eyes bare of any emotion. With all the grace he can muster in his current state, he turns to leave for his office. “Follow me,” he instructs. Was it not for the crutch, he would look just as before, maybe even more deadly, as he is pale and seemingly completely calm. All there is to hide he hides – the damaged hand under his glove, confused mind under his façade, and everything else deep inside. He hides it so well, he himself could believe it just doesn’t exist, was he given enough time.

Kylo is following him, wondering what’s happened that Hux is even colder than before, clueless as usual. As they are entering the general’s office, Ren looks nastily at the sliding door, closing them shut behind them with a loud bang. “Well? I don’t have much time,” he barks.

Hux just looks at him, only a shadow of despise clouding his icy eyes for a moment. “I have a broken leg,” he reminds him in a steady voice, slowly sitting behind his desk and turning the computer on.

“Do you really?” Ren answers. “I apologize for your inconvenience then.”

Hux doesn’t even react, finding an empty disk in his drawer and inserting it in its proper place so he can copy everything as soon as possible. He doesn’t look at Ren, stretching his hand instead so he can take the reports from past few days and go through them. The menacing aura around the knight obviously has no effect on him, as he may be shielded by his own.

Kylo is waiting until Hux hands him the files, remaining in a complete silence. It’s taking more time than the knight is willing to wait, starting to walk around in circles impatiently.

“Do not break anything in here,” Hux says coldly, still not looking at him. “That said, your tantrums are quite outrageous, I would appreciate it if you stopped destroying my ship,” he remarks as he glances at the monitor to check how much time remains.

“It’s not your ship,” Kylo snorts. “It’s the Supreme Leader’s ship and he doesn’t seem to care.”

“I command it. You are an outsider,” with one hand he starts to play with the tablet with a report, his fingers hurting every time he moves them. The sensation is strangely satisfying, even though he barely notices it.

“Perhaps you do. But still, the Supreme Leader doesn’t care,” the knight repeats stubbornly.

Hux finally looks at him, remembering right away that there’s no point in it. The mask has no face. No childish,  _ puppy _ face. The hollow feeling makes him fist his hand, sending sparkles of pain through his whole arm. “Well, this is for you as well then,” he says, handing Ren the reports of the broken equipment. “Deal with the casualties in any way you see fit…”

“That’s your job. I’m leaving today. I’m sure you’ll find my absence soothing since you hate looking at me so much,” he moves to the window as not to look at Hux’s face anymore.

The ginger feels the warm blood under his glove. He kept breaking his mirror until there was only shattered glass around his bathroom, damaging his hand quite a lot. And he went to bed with it, just like that. The shards are still where he left them in his bathroom as well. “Pathetic…” he utters and it’s not clear even to himself what he actually means. “Here,” he adds, as he finally retrieves the disk.

The knight sniffs as if he actually was the dog smelling the blood of its prey as the general hands him over the files. “You’ve hurt your hand,” he states, no trace of doubt in his voice.

“Why are you telling me?” Hux doesn’t look at the mask, he goes right back to the reports as soon as Ren takes the disc. “I’m aware,” he points out.

“Perhaps you should return to the infirmary again,” Ren continues, still feeling hurt, irrationally wanting the general to feel the same way, having no clue he’s not far from it already. “Since apparently it’s the only thing you’re able to do properly during the last days,” he adds.

“Leave,” the older says, the hollow feeling growing in proportion to the pain of his hand, which is starting to shake slightly. “Show me whether _you_ can actually do something properly yourself…” his voice doesn’t falter, even as the blood slowly starts to escape from under his glove.

Ren moves to him and tears the glove off his hand without a single word, looking at the wounds carefully. “It’s deep. What the hell did you do?” he asks, forgetting that he decided not to care anymore.

“It’s nothing, Kylo!” the general snaps at him. He can see only his own reflection on the mask, the stoic façade slowly starting to crack. “Leave me,” he takes a deep breath, getting back to his cold, emotionless voice, “I have a lot of work to do…”

The knight blinks as Hux uses his first name again, but continues to examine his hand, being gentler than he looks, even with his own gloves on. “You won’t work for a long time in this condition. Sooner or later you’ll faint with such a severe blood loss. What did you do?!” he repeats the question, this time more urgently.

“It’s not that severe…” is the only reaction Hux can muster. “It’s already stopping,” he tries to persuade him, really hoping him to go. He doesn’t want to be touched by him, to hear his monstrous voice altered by the mask. “Don’t you have duties to attend to?”

“I do,” the knight admits. “But it can wait.” He takes his own gloves off in order to examine the general’s hand properly. “Did you break a glass?”

There’s a strange sensation in Hux’s stomach, quite nothing like he could name, and it makes him sick in a way, the hollow feeling mixing with it, making such a disastrous storm of emotions inside of him, that he would rather just faint again. “I didn’t!” he answers sharply. “What are you doing?”

“Examining your hand,” Kylo states the obvious again, unintentionally caressing it, not even imagining how it affects the ginger. “There are shards of glass in your hand. What the hell were you doing?!” Ren is starting to sound angry, not even realizing it’s because of the fact that deep inside he cares for Hux.

“Ren!” the general tries to keep his voice from shaking, “you fucking masked monster! I don’t want you in my life! I don’t want you to look at me or to touch me or to fucking care for me! I don’t want you to forcibly invade my space and make me think of you  _ all the fucking time _ !” he looks quite shaken, his own mask breaking apart, as he has nothing more than his own strength to keep it together. “Leave me…” he whispers in hoarse voice, trying to jerk his hand away, looking at the floor.

“I’m not leaving you like this,” Kylo whispers, squeezing Hux’s hand more firmly.

“I can’t properly hear you through the thing…” the general says, still not looking at him and  _ certainly _ not lying just to see his face.

The knight takes the helmet off without a second thought, looking at him with his brown puppy eyes. “I’ve thought you don’t want me to be in your presence without the mask,” he mumbles, then kneels to Hux to get a better access to his hand.

“I don’t…” Hux whispers. “You have no idea…” he shakes his head, finally looking at him. He takes his other glove off, slowly bringing his hand to Kylo’s face to touch it.

The brunette jerks away a bit as he feels the ginger’s soft fingers on his face, but keeps staring at him in disbelief, not able to say a word, his pupils fully dilated.

“I need a smoke…” the general finally huffs, just to say something, his gaze still fixed on Kylo’s eyes.

“You shouldn’t…” Ren mumbles, lowering his gaze as he feels his cheeks getting flushed. “You know what’s happened the last time…”

“I smoked quite a lot yesterday…” Hux whispers, daring to touch him more, gently caressing his cheek with the whole palm. “And I got to my bed myself…”

“That’s good,” Ren looks at him again shyly, putting his own hand on the Hux’s one which is caressing his cheek. “You have soft hands,” he whispers in a hoarse voice.

The redhead shudders a little. “Well, the other quite not as much…” he says, squeezing Ren’s hand in his injured one. “How did you even know?” he asks, studying his face, almost fascinated, noticing every mole.

“I felt it,” the knight admits. “And then I smelled your blood,” he shrugs a little, not realizing that it might sound a bit creepy.

“Smelled,” the older frowns a little, “that sounds even more wrong that you feeling it with your sorcery,” he shakes his head a little, giving him a resigned smile.

Kylo smiles at him back, squeezing his injured hand. “Don’t worry about it,” he whispers. “It’s mostly because of the mask. It improves my senses greatly, helping me in combat.”

“You are hopeless,” Hux shakes his head. He pushes his healthy hand into the other’s hair, surprised that it is quite nice to touch even though it’s messy and not that soft at all. “What have you done to me…?” he narrows his eyes.

“I haven’t done anything to you,” Kylo breathes out, stretching his hand to caress the general’s face too. “I like you better like this, clean shaved,” he smiles at him properly this time, moving his hand up and down around the places where Hux had a bristle a day ago.

Against all his better judgment, the general leans a little into the touch. “Thanks…” he mutters. “You did all this to me…” he whispers, giving Kylo an accusing look, “made me like this…” he closes his eyes slowly, taking in the way Kylo is probably all rough skin and pointy angles, based on his hard, rough hand and on the fact he is a knight, training with a sword and going through battles.

“What did I do to you?” Kylo whispers, moving an inch closer to him as if he wanted to hear the response properly.

The ginger opens his eyes again, looking at him with his pale blue eyes. “I won’t tell you,” he shakes his head, “I don’t even know how to say such things anymore…” he looks at his lips, swallowing.

“Please,” Ren can feel his heartbeat quickening, getting even closer. “I need to know.”

Hux shivers at the first word. “You are my worst disease…” he says, looking away. “I care, you know…” it’s barely hearable. “I care too…”

Kylo’s stomach jumps up as he hears  _ this  _ and finally something breaks inside of him. He growls, pushing his hand into Hux’s hair, pulling him closer and pressing his soft lips against the general’s ones.

“Don’t…” Hux whispers against his lips, really trembling now, his own stomach  _ dancing _ . He moves his hand behind Kylo’s neck, kissing back without hesitation, contradicting his own words. Last time he did something like this was at the academy, just as outrageous, dangerous and  _ thrilling _ as it is now.

Kylo keeps kissing him passionately, instinctively pushing his tongue in, not quite sure what to do since this,  _ this _ is his first kiss. He moans silently against Hux’s mouth, copying the general, pulling him closer and closer by putting his hand into his hair and on the back of his neck.

Hux enjoys his clumsiness in a way, a curious idea being born in his head again. He pulls away just a little, making the kiss slower, teasing him and sucking on his lower lip, while he caresses the skin right under his ear with his thumb. He smiles into the kiss as he finds out the spot must be quite sensitive based on the younger’s wild reactions. He gives his lip a teasing bite before pulling away completely to get some air and to calm himself a little. “God…” he whispers, looking at the other with slightly narrowed eyes, rather satisfied about the way Kylo looks, the puppy completely shattered, cheeks flushed and lips nicely swollen. “Don’t tell me I’m your first kiss,” he looks him in the eyes, pulling him closer, not caring about the blood as he tries to get at least part of Ren’s ridiculously complicated robes off to access more of his skin.

Kylo looks away, suddenly feeling ashamed that Hux is right.  _ He must know _ , he thinks,  _ he must think I’m a complete failure _ . He tries to hide his head in Hux’s chest, but makes a little more space for the general’s hot bloody hands, which are moving under his robes and making his body explode.

Hux fingers slowly make their way through all the layers, pushing his cape away completely, then exposing at least a little of his bare skin. He finds a scar and caresses it with one finger. “You have no idea,” he whispers as he leans over a little, talking just next to Ren’s ear, “what the idea does to me…”

“What?” Kylo feels his stomach making a flip, not sure whether in nausea or arousal, gazing into Hux’s eyes, shivering as the general touches his bare skin. “What do you mean?”

“Your innocence is rather appealing,” the general tries not to sound as an utter creep, failing miserably. At least it matches all of his current efforts for anything rational. “I hate everything about you… you’re breaking me…” he whispers as he moves his hand under the puppy’s chin to pull him closer for another kiss.

Ren closes his eyes, slightly moaning as Hux touches him with his sensitive fingers, kissing him hungrily, hysterically grasping the neck of the taller male. “I don’t hate you,” Kylo whispers against his mouth. “I can’t hate you anymore.”

For just the slightest short moment, Hux is overwhelmed with panic and a need to run at his words, trembling himself. He deepens the kiss and completely takes the lead, making him go down to his knees and move closer in between Hux’s legs, as to get a better access to undo his belt. He moves his hand to explore Kylo’s chest, trying desperately not to think about what he is doing. He just cannot stop himself as this innocent and incompetent boy is giving himself to Hux so easily, so eagerly.

Kylo’s entire torso is shivering as he hears the buckle of his belt being undone, hiding his face into the redhead’s crotch, shutting his eyes tight, not even slightly realizing where exactly he put his head. He is grasping Hux’s back convulsively, exhaling heavily as the general is touching him in a way nobody did before.

“God, Kylo…” Hux pushes him away a little, looking him in the eyes with his own ones, clouded with lust. “We shouldn’t be doing this…” he exclaims, the statement obviously not stopping him from another fast kiss. “You realize my body is the same as yours?” he asks, resting his forehead against Kylo’s, even though there’s no turning back now.

“I do,” the knight shudders, moving against Hux’s mouth to kiss it again, sucking on his lower lip. “I don’t mind though,” he whispers, his breath hot and heavy.

“Take off the abomination of your robes,” he instructs him, moving away a little to give him space. “Or at least the pants…” he adds, narrowing his eyes as if he was a predator watching his prey. “And come to sit on the table.”

“My clothes are completely fine,” he whispers, teasing the general’s ear, caressing it with his fingertips, but then he starts to undo the buckle of his pants anyway. “What are you planning to do?” his voice is slowly starting to crack.

“You’ll see,” Hux looks at him, enjoying the view, examining his every move with narrowed eyes, every inch of newly exposed skin. Kylo is  _ beautiful _ , his muscular body is lean and covered in many scars, adding to the image of a fighter.

“Okay…” the younger male mutters against Hux’s mouth, letting him go unwillingly, getting up. He pulls his pants down, sitting down on the table obediently, reminding the little puppy more than ever.

The whole time Hux is sitting in his chair, taking it all in, he is slowly realizing just how much the  _ kid _ is really pure. He lick his lips, moving closer to Kylo, glad about the wheels on his chair as one of his legs is still quite unusable. He pushes the idea of Kylo’s innocence making him just and old perv – even though he isn’t even all that older – to the back of his head, as he caresses his knee and further on. “Spread your legs,” he whispers, moving his hand teasingly over the tender skin on the knight’s inner thigh as the brunette does exactly as he’s told.

Kylo listens obediently again, feeling completely hypnotized by the general’s voice, the tickling, teasing sensation on his soft skin between his legs is driving him crazy. “Hux,” he whispers quietly, his brown eyes dilated so much they look almost black. He starts to ruffle the ginger’s head, making the usually perfectly neat hair all spiky.

“Hmm?” the general mumbles, slowly touching him, exploring his skin, the trembling filling him with anticipation. He looks him in the eyes, just the way Kylo looks at him makes the general’s stomach fill with butterflies. He licks his lips again, bending a little to get closer and starting to cover his skin with kisses, biting teasingly. His emotions swirling inside, combining in wild storm of something unnamable, wild and consuming. There’s pleasure and hate as much as lust and care. He can still feel the pain in his hand, which almost stopped bleeding already, just adding to everything, making him go mad. He tries not to think about the regret that is sure to come.

“Kiss me… again…” the brunette allows a frustrated sound to leave his lips, grasping Hux to pull him closer, his hands with long pale fingers moving under the hem of the general’s uniform, touching his warm bare skin.

Hux breathes hotly into his lips, kissing him hard and wild, devouring everything he is given with carnal passion, feeling like he has not in ages. He moves the hurt hand all the way to caress Kylo’s erection, even though it’s only through the fabric of his underwear. He wants him, he’s getting desperate to  _ own  _ the puppy and it’s almost scary.

Kylo growls as he feels the hand between his legs, moaning loudly. He’s never felt like this before and is still not entirely sure how to react. He suppresses the sick thought that it’s the general whom he hates so much, who’s making him feel this way. He feels like a wild animal being set free from its cage for the first time, kissing Hux passionately, leaving them both breathless.

The redhead himself moans quietly into the kiss before retreating again, just Kylo’s reactions and the bare fact Hux is his first – that no one before has ever even touched him in such a way – making the general’s erection almost painful. But he wants to savor everything, wants to see the monster under his hands go completely wild and undone, gasping for air and for life itself. “This is outrageous…” he growls, not even realizing he said it out loud as he pushes the underwear lower to uncover Kylo and to touch him properly.

The knight shouts out loudly, but doesn’t give the slightest fuck about it, about the fact someone must have heard him through the door leading to the general’s office. He’s staring at the redhead with wide eyes, then shuts them tight, shivering as like in intense fever. His hands are grasping Hux’s bare skin under his uniform so convulsively that he’s making big red marks on his pale skin.

The general looks at him in surprise, the sound going right to his own crotch, not even hesitating as he leans over to take the knight’s tip into his mouth teasingly, tasting him, testing what the other can take before breaking completely. God, he wants to tame the beast and dominate him in every way possible.

Kylo cries out almost even louder than before, his back falling on the desk with a loud bang as he feels the hot wetness of the general’s mouth on his penis. This is way too intense for him as he’s never imagined even in his wildest dreams that something can actually feel this goddamn  _ good _ .

The general pulls away again, taking in the way Kylo  _ whines _ at the loss, and smiles, something wild and dangerous in his eyes. He moves his healthy hand to his own crotch, unzipping himself, sure Kylo wouldn’t be able to help him in his current state, but not minding all that much, just as he licks the whole length of the knight’s erection with his tongue, sucking him deeper than before.

Suddenly the sensation is too much for Kylo and he unleashes himself, coming hard into Hux’s mouth, not even realizing what’s happening as his brain stops working completely and all that’s left of him is a writhing and screaming ball of fabric and skin, twitching on the general’s table.

The ginger fights the need to gag, spitting the thick liquid on the floor as there is no way to save his usually neat and beautifully ordered office anyway. He hesitates only for a moment, standing up even and he growls a little as his leg protests, bending over Kylo, pushing his own member against the younger’s thigh to finish himself as well. He doesn’t care in the slightest that their clothes will surely get dirty. He crushes his lips against Kylo’s, his hand starting to bleed again because of the way he desperately grabs the knight’s clothes and hot, sweaty skin.

The younger one writhes desperately as he feels himself from Hux’s mouth. This is so fucking  _ weird _ , and yet so fucking  _ right _ . Ren pushes his tongue into the mouth of the other one, tasting the remaining bits of his own cum, grabbing Hux’s hair to pull him even closer, so horny and overwhelmed that he acts almost insane.

Hux isn’t even surprised as he feels Kylo twitch as his erection returns, pulling him closer on the table to jerk their members off together. It’s hot and messy, and he doesn’t even want to imagine how terrible it all will be afterwards, bunch of tablets and holo discs falling off his table. It’s perfect now. He smears some blood on Ren’s face as he caresses him, moving his fingers into the other’s hair to pull them dominantly and to make him bent his neck backwards. He moves to wildly kiss and to bite his neck, getting dangerously close to the edge.

Kylo is whining desperately as the hot skin of their penises meet and the fact that Hux is jerking up and down against him doesn’t help at all. He’s fully hard again, only seconds after he came, his head swirling in pleasure. He wants to look at the general’s face which he finds incredibly beautiful at the moment, but the only thing he’s able to perceive are the white spots in front of his eyes, so he just shuts them tight again, giving himself to the ginger completely.

The general bites hard on his skin, as if he needed to mark him, to make sure even the younger himself will be sure whom he belongs to. He shivers violently, growling lowly into his salty flushed skin, as he releases himself on Ren’s stomach.

Kylo doesn’t even notice as he can’t perceive properly anything anymore, except of his own rock hard penis and the general above him. “Hux,” he whispers in a hoarse voice as the redhead collapses on his chest, pulling him closer and closer to have a better access to his torso, pushing the general on the stains of his own cum.

Hux finishes him off with his hand, making Kylo cum again all over himself, while whispering the knight’s own name in a hoarse, needy voice. He slowly slides back to his chair, leaning into Kylo’s bare skin, resting his forehead on the knight’s thigh. “God… this is so fucking wrong…” he utters quietly.

Ren’s senses are slowly returning from the post orgasmic haze, starting to perceive the general, but still hearing him faintly as if he stood far away and in a storm. “It didn’t seem wrong to me…” he exhales, looking at Hux with his puppy eyes again.

“It is,” Hux shakes his head, looking him in the eyes. “My office is a disaster…” he adds with a growl, not quite as severe as he’d like it to sound. They are even worse disasters, but he just doesn’t even want to think about it. He looks at the bruises he made on Kylo’s skin and the blood stains and everything else – it makes him smile in a satisfied way. “I like the way you look now…” he says, biting his lip a little in a hungry way, even though he is more than aware how unlike him it is.

“How do I look now?” the knight asks, having no idea what the general means, still lying on his back on the desk, his whole body shivering.

“Used and shattered,” Hux says honestly and against all his better judgement, he takes Ren’s hand to pull him back to a sitting position and brings him close for a kiss. He’s just signed himself a death sentence, being  _ tender, _ almost  _ cuddly _ with this deadly, disastrous puppy, hasn’t he? And it’s so not like him. “You have my blood and sweat and cum all over yourself, you know,” he teases him a little, moving his tongue to tickle Kylo’s sensitive neck.

The knight shivers a bit, the goosebumps appearing on his pale torso as he feels the tongue of the older male moving up and down on his skin. He pulls Hux’s chair closer to him, hiding his face into the ginger’s chest, breathing him in. “Haven’t you hurt your hand even more?” he mumbles into his chest after a moment, embracing him, pushing his fingers under the general’s shirt again.

Hux looks at it, hissing a little as he tries to move it as much as he can. “I can still move my fingers,” he actually says it with great relief, as they are rather important to him. He looks back at Ren, narrowing his eyes again as it occurs to him, just how  _ beautiful _ and  _ fitting  _ Kylo Ren could be, would he move just a little. “Kneel,” he whispers, pushing the chair a little to give him space. “On the floor,” he specifies, while he zips his pants to make himself at least barely presentable, at least to himself.

Kylo nods and without a second thought he does exactly what the ginger says, kneeling in front of him. “Why?” he whispers, looking up at the general with his big brown eyes.

“Because you are perfect like this,” he says with the look of utter satisfaction, as he caresses him, moving his fingers into the knight’s hair. He brings him closer in between his legs again, taking in how obedient he looks right now, completely tamed and just  _ right _ . The feeling he has now is exactly the same he imagines to have, was he ever crowned the Emperor.

“How exactly? What do you mean?” Kylo keeps asking in a trembling voice, the sensation of Hux’s hands in his hair is just incredibly pleasant.

Hux moves his hand so he can tickle him on the neck again, “it’s hard to explain,” he says, the clueless, innocent puppy making him smile in a dangerous way.

The knight closes his eyes again, not asking any more questions, clearly satisfied with the answer, slowly caressing Hux’s back. “This feels so nice,” he mumbles, not even realizing he said it out loud.

Just like that he doesn’t even look like Hux’s knight – which he still isn’t,  _ yet _ probably – but as his  _ watchdog _ , completely the general’s to use. Only the collar is missing. “Good,” he whispers.

“Your hand is bleeding again,” Kylo whispers, not moving an inch, his eyes still closed. “Let me look at it. Maybe I could help if you don’t want to go to the infirmary again.”

Hux examines his relaxed features, then caresses his cheek with a thumb. “I’m not entirely sure I should let you do that. You still want me to play the piano for you, am I right?” he teases him.

“I do,” the brunette nods, finally looking at him. “But you don’t have to worry. I’m a skilled Force user.”

“Have you ever healed anything before with it?” the general raises an eyebrow. “I can’t quite imagine it, as you only kill and destroy everything,” it’s just a simple statement, the way the dark side is. He doesn’t mean it in a bad way, as he himself is quite fond of killing  _ things _ that need to be killed.

“I used to be a Jedi a long time ago,” Kylo utters as if he didn’t even want to remember those times. “I was given the basic training in such matters.”

The ginger looks at him for a while, contemplating the offer, giving him his injured hand in the end. “Fine…” he says, not asking about what Kylo said, not sure he actually even wants to know.

Kylo takes his hand gently, examining it once more, caressing it with his fingertips. “Don’t worry. I’ve learned how to heal myself rather well. I had to,” he nods in the direction of his long big scars on his chest.

“Is it the same?” Hux tilts his head a little, suppressing a hiss as Kylo starts to get the glass out.

“It is,” the knight nods, getting the glass out rather skillfully, not even remotely reminding the incompetent child he was several minutes ago.

“Lick it…” the general whispers as there’s no glass left, only blood, fascinated by the change as well as the way Kylo is still doing everything he says. He doesn’t even know why he wants him to do it, it just seems appropriate to him, even as it would probably look sick to anyone else.

“Why?” Ren gives him a puzzled look. “Are you trying to find out whether I’m sick enough to drink your blood?”

“I didn’t ask you whether you want to do it…” the general points out, Ren’s words hitting him hard with realization of just how twisted he himself is. “I want you to do it…” he adds, looking at Kylo, tracing his lower lip with his fingers, then giving up to the need to try to push them inside his mouth. “But I can’t force you, can I?”

The knight whines as the older male pushes his fingers into his mouth, tasting his blood anyway. “I don’t mind,” he mumbles, licking the fingers eagerly.

Hux shivers a little, biting his lip as the image is disturbingly arousing, sending little sparkles into his stomach again. “Good,” he whispers, playing with Ren’s tongue, exploring his mouth and enjoying his submissive behavior. He doesn’t want to go another turn – starting to slowly realize that they shouldn’t be doing this at all, as his work is still piled up on his desk and scattered all around it, untouched – but he savors the sensation anyway.

Kylo moans very quietly, a drop of saliva running down from the corner of his mouth as the general keeps penetrating it with his long fingers. “Come here,” he whispers, his voice deep and soft, resonating on Hux’s fingertips. He takes the injured hand into his own ones, licking the blood away, sucking on his skin, enjoying every shiver of the ginger’s body.

The general takes in a sharp breath, fisting his other hand in Kylo’s hair. “God…” he manages to say, trying to steady himself, quite forgetting that he wanted to keep it nonsexual. In his wildest dreams he wouldn’t imagine that the virgin Sith kid sucking on his hand would make him lose his mind so much. As he takes in the sight of Kylo Ren sitting between his legs, still half naked an so inviting, he realizes he’s already half hard again.

“What?” Kylo mumbles against his skin, caressing the general’s thigh, slowly tracing his hand up and down. After a while he licks the whole hand clean, taking it into both of his hands.

“It’s…” Hux looks at him with eyes half shut, but just as he sees his own hand, the wounds healing slowly as the other is using his  _ sorcery _ , he actually realizes something, the ridiculousness of the idea so severe, it’s quite a turn off to him. “Ren,” he says slowly, “why didn’t you tell me you could do such things yesterday when you broke my leg?” he frowns.

The brunette looks at him so innocently that the general has no doubts that he’s telling the truth. “It didn’t occur to me,” he mumbles, examining his healed hand. “How does it feel? Is it the way it used to be before?”

Hux moves his fingers, looking at his hand. The scars are almost invisible – for just a moment he lowers his gaze to some of Ren’s scars, the traces obviously deep and rather visible, making him wonder just how severe the injuries must have been. “It probably is,” he nods and looks at the other, “it would be suspicious to get the leg healed now…” he growls, the idea of getting rid of the splint quite appealing, as he now knows it’s possible.

Kylo nods, still not able to let go of the hand. “It would be better this way. Healing broken bones is more exhausting and difficult anyway. And I have to leave today,” he looks at the general again, obviously hating the idea of going away now.

“Fine…” the older nods, moving his fingers back to his lower lip, tracing it again just with his fingertips. “For how long are you going to be away?” he asks after a few moments of trying to persuade himself that he doesn’t care.

“I don’t know,” Ren answers honestly. “It might take a long time. The Supreme Leader insists on the map being found as soon as possible. And it probably won’t be easy to locate it.”

Hux nods. He doesn’t look affected by the answer and he tries quite hard really not to be. He bends over, teasingly licking a smear of his own blood off of Kylo’s face, mapping his skin with his tongue, moving to kiss him. “In the end, I can’t race you like this…” he whispers to his lips. “With a broken leg and all…”

Ren shakes his head. “It’s not your job anyway. You belong here. I don’t. You said it yourself,” he backs off a bit, feeling irrationally hurt again, probably because of the fact he has to leave.

The general fights the need to roll his eyes, actually affected by the hurt puppy eyes. He puts both of his hands on Kylo’s hips, pulling him back closer and kissing him deep. “You are hopeless…” he whispers.

“Why this time?” the knight shivers, leaning into the touch once more.

“The way you look at me…” the older sighs, pulling him even closer almost into a hug, his palms sliding on Kylo’s ass. “So hurt… is that the Sith way?” he teases him.

“No,” Ren closes his eyes, lowering his head a bit, being very well aware of the fact. “I shouldn’t be doing this, you know…” he shrugs a little, contradicting himself as he moves a bit closer into more comfortable position, pushing his butt into Hux’s hands.

“We both shouldn’t…” the other whispers against his lips, moving to tease the skin of his neck again. “If you yourself feel like you have no place here, make one, then…” he tells him. “Make it so no one can tell you anything… Kill all the Resistance and prove yourself…” he bites him hard. “Let the darkness swallow you,” he smiles at the shiver Kylo gives him, then closes his eyes for a while, as if he was telling himself something as well, that he really shouldn’t let all of this affect him. For his own good. It may be too late.

The brunette hisses in pain as he feels the teeth gritting into his soft flesh. “Do you realize that there is no turning back now? If I’m to be swallowed by the darkness completely, I’d have to kill you first.” The  _ I’ll probably have to do it sooner or later _ stays unsaid, but hangs in the air as a quiet menace of what’s about to come.

“Does that mean you are really falling for me so much?” there’s a little hint of mock in his voice, but it’s strangely affectionate. “I’m looking forward to find out whether you’ll actually be able to do it,” he says. He looks the knight in the eyes, his own burning with something quite unnamable, “I’m to give my life to the First Order, whatever that means,” he adds, “but I am to see it rise to its full glory.”

“I know,” Ren whispers. “And you don’t have to worry. You will,” he assures him, his eyes suddenly looking cold and sharp and unreadable, intentionally not answering the question about falling for the general.

Hux examines him for a while. Even trying to look so hard and resolved, Kylo Ren still reminds him of an innocent and incompetent puppy. He is not willing to give his empire to such a puppy. “Then do your duty and do it well,” he says, then crushes his lips to the other’s ones.

“I’m planning to,” the knight nods as he gets up. “And I’m leaving now. I’ve stayed way longer than I was supposed to.” He doesn’t look at Hux anymore, dressing up again, starting to feel really awkward about what’s just happened, everything coming to him. What the fuck. Just  _ what the fuck _ .


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are hopeless...  
> It's starting to be quite visible, just how shattered Kylo's personality is. He's starting to look like he may have split personality disorder. We are not sure, he's a monster after all and he does whatever he wants. (And it gets worse...)

The general stands on the bridge, hands behind his back, looking at the planet they are orbiting, his cold eyes bare of any emotions. He looks quite himself again as he stands straight, looking all neat and ordered. He feels that way again as well. It’s been a month since Kylo Ren left the ship and after utterly despising himself, drowning in alcohol and almost choking himself on cigarettes, the general finally got over the fact that he  _ almost _ fell for the incompetent disastrous  _ monster _ in a way. As he contemplated it, he decided that it’s not worth the trouble and dangers of taming the beast. He is rather determined to crown himself the Emperor, such a creature only standing in the way.

“Sir, Kylo Ren’s ship has landed in the hangar,” he hears behind himself, turning to see an officer saluting him. He only nods, turning back – there is no need to go out of his way to see the abomination, Ren is sure to reveal the results of his mission soon enough himself.

And the knight does, in quite a theatrical way, without having to tell Hux a single word. As soon as he leaves his ship, he destroys half of the hangar, just because one poor officer asks him whether his mission was successful. Since it was quite a disaster, he leaves in a dead silence, not saying a single word to anyone, marching back to his quarters right away. He’s spent a month away and even though he’s managed to hunt down and to torture several members of the Resistance to reveal some precious information, apparently none of the ones Kylo captured knew where the plans could possibly be. As the knight spent almost the entire month all alone, since he’s killed his entire crew in one of the first bursts of anger, when he didn’t get what he wanted from some random Resistance member, he got far more dangerous, insufferable and lethal than ever before. The fact he hated himself because of the little rendezvous in Hux’s office right before his departure hasn’t helped in any way.

Hux is already on the way to his office as a stormtrooper stops him in a hallway, bringing the news of Ren’s tantrum. It’s apparently quite severe as the brunette destroyed several important panels and consoles, making half of the TIE fleet unable to fly.

The general growls painfully as he dismisses the stormtrooper in a steady hard voice, changing his course to talk to the walking disaster. It was expectable that Ren’s pathetic try would just end up in a total failure, only adding to the fire with his behavior and incompetence. As much as Hux doesn’t want to see him or to deal with him in any way, something needs to be done.

Without announcing himself in any way, he taps the code to Ren’s quarters on the console – knowing it quite well as this is  _ his _ ship and he knows  _ everything _ about it – letting himself in, marching through the door with royal grace and aura of a proper commander. “You utter disgrace!” he spits just as he finds him.

“What do you want?!” the knight barks at him through the mask. “These are my quarters. Leave me alone!”

Hux glances at the burnt mask of Darth Vader next to Ren, slight hint of disgust appearing on his face for a moment. “You failed your mission and immobilizing half of our TIE fighters is the way you want to atone for it?” his voice is loud, but he is not quite shouting, sounding dominant and ordering.

“I couldn’t care less about your problems,” Ren utters hatefully, noticing the look Hux gave to the mask of his grandfather. “I have no intentions of talking to you. Who do you think you are anyway, entering my quarters without permission?! Get out of here now or I’ll make you!”

The ginger narrows his eyes, “it will be your problem once you will be held responsible for our inability to fight,” he hisses, “you are a disease, Ren,” he adds, giving him a look of utter despise. “I won’t let you ruin the First Order,” he shakes his head just as he turns to leave.

“I don’t need your fleet to be able to fight,” Ren snaps at him angrily. “And I certainly don’t need you. LEAVE!” he shrieks, the voice sounding through the mask way more dangerous than normally.

“You need it to fight in space, as even you – whatever you think yourself to be – need to breathe,” he says to him in a steady voice. He completely ignores Ren’s second remark which only makes him remember the way they parted. It makes him burn inside with hate.  _ Only _ hate. “You are a pathetic excuse for a Sith…” he shakes his head, not even looking at the mask.

“ _ Get the fuck OUT _ !” using the Force, Kylo opens the door with a slam, throwing the general out with a great strength, shutting them again with an even louder slam, not even looking at them.

“Fucking disastrous disgrace,” the redhead whispers to himself, slowly standing up, in quite a lot of pain, but probably unhurt in general. In a way that disgusts him as well, the pathetic  _ child _ not even able to properly hurt him. Not because of his insufficient power – Hux doesn’t doubts his power to hurt and kill people – but because of his  _ feelings _ .

He straightens himself properly, shaking his head in despise as he finally continues his return to the office.

Meanwhile Ren takes his mask off, as well as his clothes, stepping into the shower, pouring a cold water on his head which is really starting to ache, trying to calm down. He hates to admit it, but seeing the general has left him quite shaken, even though he’s feeling nothing else than utter despise for him at the moment. As Kylo lets the freezing liquid pour on his head, he’s contemplating about the last days of his mission, realizing he’s been somehow looking forward to returning to the Finalizer. And now as he’s finally back, he absolutely can’t understand why. For the entire month he’s been free from the lectures of the red headed pompous bastard and now it’s starting all over again. As Kylo gets out of the shower, dressing in his black pajamas pants, he has no energy left to do anything but to crawl into his bed, trying to fall asleep as fast as possible.

 

 

Hux gives the mask quite a haughty look as they leave Snoke’s chamber next to each other, rather satisfied at the fact, the Supreme Leader  _ scolded _ the knight for all of his actions.

Ren doesn’t say a word as he’s walking by his side, ignoring Hux completely. He hates the fact that the Supreme Leader actually gave the general the upper hand, allowing him to complain about what he’s done. He wants to leave his presence as soon as possible, to simply disappear into his own quarters again, which he hasn’t left for the past several days.

“You’ve lost weight,” the older points out and it may even sound caring, as he noticed even through all the ridiculous robes, but then he adds, “you’ll be of even less use in any kind of weakened state…” he shakes his head.

“I’m fine,” the other male utters. “And I haven’t lost any weight,” he’s lying, not even knowing why, since he knows it must be true as he hasn’t eaten anything for five days.

Hux gets ahead of him to stop in front of the other. “Careful, Ren,” he says, looking at the mask, not imagining the puppy eyes. And yet,  _ they are probably all swollen from crying, making the knight even more disgraceful and utterly disgusting, _ Hux thinks with despise. “Your childish behavior won’t be tolerated for much longer, if you continue like this,” he shakes his head.

“Then it won’t be,” the brunette snaps at him. “Let me go and leave me alone.”

The general straightens himself, frowning. “It’s starting to be your specialty, asking things from others, which you are not capable of yourself…” he narrows his eyes.

“You are the one to tell,” the knight snorts, disgusted. “I’d like to see you doing the things you want from your troops to be done. Just retreat to your office where you belong and leave me alone,” Ren turns away from him, only the memories of his last visit of the mentioned room is making him sick, turning his stomach.

“I’ve spent on the battlefield more time than you…” the general shakes his head, turning the other way.

“That’s not everything,” Ren tries to make a reason, but the loud growling of his empty stomach is leaving all of his efforts shattered. He jerks away a bit, not doubting the fact that the ginger must have heard it too. “Just leave me alone,” he utters again, trying to play it cool.

“Hopelessly pathetic…” the older one utters as he turns away from him again. “Eat, Kylo…” he says quietly before really leaving for his office.

Ren speeds up as much as he can, leaving the general far behind him, retreating to his quarters again, trying his best to forget the last sentence Hux said to him.

 

 

Hux taps the password to Kylo Ren’s quarters into the console, opening the door. He came just to discuss what he was told he should with the other, not really caring in any way about the fact that the brunette didn’t leave his room again, probably still just sulking and not eating, nor training or anything else. He finds the knight pathetically lying in his bed. “Disgrace…” he utters as he almost unwillingly sets a can of military ration on his night stand. He feels ashamed of himself as he adds a little paper bag, stepping back. “Supreme Leader Snoke wouldn’t be pleased if you died here like some kind of a diseased stray dog,” he says. “And I need to talk to you about what you’ve done to my ship.”

Ren sighs, not even bothering to turn around, his voice sounding pathetic even through the mask. “Do whatever you want.”

“I can’t talk seriously to someone who’s lying on his bed in an ugly mask, still dressed in pajamas, anyway,” he shakes his head. “If you ever do something quite as outrageous as throwing a tantrum in the hangar, I’ll have your door sealed, so you don’t have to leave your hole ever again…” he snorts. “Shall that happen, you may want to save what I brought you for later.”

“I don’t want anything from you,” Kylo answers, not even bothering to open his eyes, still lying on the bed, curled up under the blanket. “Is that all?”

“I’m leaving it here anyway…” in a way Hux almost gets a little angry at the knight ignoring him like this. “It is all,” he says then as he turns to leave.

“Fine,” Ren finally turns around as he hears that the general is leaving, staring at the bag. “What is it?” he asks, hoping he didn’t sound too curious.

“You’ll have to find out yourself…” the general shrugs, “if you are not yet too weak to move…”

“I’m  _ not _ weak!” Kylo barks, jumping up, looking sickly comical with his bare chest and the mask on.

“That’s good to hear and see,” the ginger says in unwavering voice, “at least for the Supreme Leader…”

“I’m certain the same doesn’t apply to you,” the brunette sounds bitter again, getting quite curious what kind of revenge could be hidden in the paper bag, staring at it intensely.

“I’d prefer it as well, if you actually wouldn’t be weak, as it would make you even worse disaster in fulfilling your duties…” the ginger shakes his head, “until the point of you not capable of moving anymore, at least…” it’s amusing in a way, the puppy so obviously stubborn, yet curious and still quite incompetent. He closes his eyes for just a moment. “I’m leaving then,” he says, reminding himself that there’s nothing amusing on the whole Finalizer and there are certainly no dogs anywhere to be found.

“Hmmm,” Kylo mumbles as he opens the bag, staring into it in utter disbelief. “You’ve brought me a  _ muffin _ ?!”

“No,” the general says at the door, not looking at Kylo.

“Are you mocking me?!” the knight snaps. “I’m not blind, Hux!”

“Then don’t ask,” the redhead glances at him, grimacing a little. It looks strangely forced. “Eat it and get back to your duties…”

“Stop telling me what to do,” he barks, but his stomach seems to agree with Hux as it growls again.

“Once you’ll start doing what you are supposed to…” the other sighs, trying not to remember even himself, as the other one didn’t seem to mind at all just about a month ago. He pushes the button to open the door.

“I have no direct orders at the moment,” the knight snorts in his normal voice again as he took off the mask, sniffing on the muffin. He is incredibly hungry, even though he doesn’t want to admit it.

“Then just rot here away, whatever suits your tastes…” the other almost hisses and turns at him, regretting it right away. The  _ kid _ has deep black circles under his eyes, looking like an utter shit, the hopeless disgrace he is. Hux ignores the strangely hollow and unbelievably uncomfortable sensation he hasn’t felt in the last three weeks, as it is trying to come back to life. “God, I can’t stand you…” he shakes his head.

“Then why are you still here?!” the younger one asks him, his voice sounding oddly cracked without the mask. He is tired,  _ incredibly tired _ , the last week without sleep and food, combined with the fact that he pointlessly exhausted himself while piloting the ship by himself is taking its toll.

“I have no idea!” the general feels irrationally angry with him, so he just grimaces and turns away again. He may be angry with himself as well, even more than with the other, but he doesn’t want to think about it. “I have work to do…” he utters as he actually really walks away.

Kylo sits down on his chair, waiting for the door to shut tight, starting to eat the muffin hungrily. He almost moans in pleasure as he feels the sweet taste on his tongue, the wave of appreciation flooding him completely. As he finishes his first meal in days, he returns to his bed again, suddenly feeling sleepy as his stomach is full again, falling asleep in seconds.

 

 

Hux opens the door to get into Ren’s quarters, moving to the knight’s room only to find him sleeping peacefully. He doesn’t even know why he came, because the last thing he’d want is to see him. He shakes his head a little, before stepping closer to examine his features. Kylo is breathing slowly, obviously exhausted. “You innocent, incompetent, disastrous, disgraceful puppy,” he grimaces. “I was so good without you…” he sighs, “you have no idea…” probably, Hux realizes, he came to torture himself, reminding himself of why he hates the knight even more than before. And to check whether he’s still alive, for Snoke’s sake, of course. He hesitates, before pulling the blanket over Ren’s partly exposed chest, caressing his neck just the slightest little bit, just as much, that it could even be an accident.

As Hux enters the knight’s quarters, he wakes up immediately at the sound of another person's presence. He got well trained not to fall into too deep sleep as he was attacked while sleeping several times. When he hears the footsteps, he recognizes the general, realizing he’s safe, not even moving an inch, pretending to be sleeping. He slightly shivers when he hears his words accompanied by the gentle touch of the ginger’s hand, but nothing more.

Hux notices the slight trembling and doubtfully wonders whether it’s really in Ren’s sleep. He looks at the table, noticing the knight has eaten at least the muffin, nodding a little for himself. “You stubborn animal,” he watches Ren’s face for a little while longer, “you are not worth it…” he whispers as he touches a scar on Kylo’s shoulder.

The knight shivers again as he feels the general’s smooth hand on his shoulder again, but tries his best to stay still, not quite sure whether he wants the ginger to continue or to leave.

“I know you are awake…” Hux says in somehow disappointed, yet soft voice. “If it were so easy to kill you in your sleep, I’d have done it already…” he sighs, closing his eyes.

“You won’t succeed,” Kylo whispers. “Because you wouldn’t be the first one to try.” The knight finally turns to face him, still lying on his bed. “Why are you here, Hux?”

“I’m aware…” the general looks at him, examining his still tired and pitiful face. “I told you Snoke wouldn’t want you to die of hopeless starvation, he would hold me responsible...” he shakes his head, turning slightly. “I’m going already…” he hides his hands behind his back, straightening himself slightly.

“As you wish.” Kylo sits up and reveals his scarred chest completely, putting his bare feet on the floor. “But next time, be so kind and let me know in advance you’re coming, before waking me up again.” He crouches a little, hiding his face into his palms for a while. Even though he’s still very muscular, the weight loss is clearly visible. The knight ruffles his hair to wake himself up, looking up at the general.

“There won’t be next time…” the other whispers. He tries really hard not to look at the pathetic excuse for a knight, Ren looking so exhausted and  _ fragile _ .

“Whatever,” Kylo stretches his back and yawns, looking so normal, so  _ human _ it hurts.

“Just don’t die here…” the redhead shrugs, already by the door, yet quite unable to make the last few steps and leave.

“I’m not planning to do so,” the brunette's eyes widen as he begins to understand. “Are you actually worried about me?”

The general doesn’t answer, nor move for a few moments. “I hate you, Kylo,” he whispers, shutting his eyes tight.

Ren stands up quickly and makes a few steps closer to Hux. “I know you don’t mean it. Not this time,” he whispers as he invades the other man’s mind.

“Don’t do that!” Hux almost shouts as he frowns, trying to fight the strange and sickening sensation of someone in his head. “I do mean it! You are destroying my life, you disease!”

“Don’t!” Ren snaps, irrationally hurt once more as he feels the general’s intense feelings. “Just don’t!” he hisses, taking another several steps closer.

“No…” the redhead shivers uncomfortably as the knight is getting closer and closer, “I was leaving,” he sighs, turning away once more as he is really determined to  _ get the fuck out _ of Ren’s quarters.

Suddenly, Kylo is holding him tight without even touching him, using the Force to manipulate him, to show him who the fuck has the upper hand here. Showing him that he’s not only an incompetent child, nor a puppy, not even a toy to be manipulated by the general. He squeezes his throat a bit, not able to stand the emotions oozing from Hux’s mind.

The older one gives him a look of utter despise. “Do it if you are really capable of doing it,” he hisses with difficulties, getting choked, but fighting him hard. “But you wouldn’t be able to bear the responsibility,” whether for the whole First Order or just the fact he killed the general, Hux himself doesn’t know.

“I will do it one day anyway,” the knight hisses, tightening the squeeze. “And I will truly enjoy it. But not today,” he adds, finally letting Hux go as he sees his face is starting to turn purple.

The general coughs for a while, gasping for air and touching his own neck as if there still were hands holding him. “I would love not to doubt it,” he gives the other strange glare. “You enjoying it…” he hesitates again. “This is all so fucked up,” he sighs.

“I will,” Ren steps closer again, so close he’s standing inches from Hux’s face. He notices the red marks on his neck, feeling strange wave of satisfaction flooding him, fighting hard the urge to touch them.

“Good,” the older nods, then swallows hard, as the pale soft lips are so close now, so reachable and still as inviting as the day Ren left. He turns out, marching for the front door.

The brunette grabs his hand instinctively, not even knowing why he’s doing that, pulling him close to finally examine the red marks. “Don’t you dare leaving like this,” he hisses, touching Hux’s neck with a great interest.

“You even developed a fetish for injuries on my body?” the general tries to give him a disrespectful glare, but he shivers under his touch, remembering the puppy licking his hand. Just the idea send little sparkles to his stomach. He feels utterly disgusted with himself.

“Not at all,” the knight answers truthfully, his voice still dangerous. “Only on the ones I made myself.”

“You didn’t make the one on my hand,” Hux finally snaps. Even though there were no others on the ship than Kylo Ren and the general himself who could hurt Hux easily.

“As I recall correctly, it was you who wanted me to lick the blood of it in the first place,” Ren hisses into his face, looking like a wild animal about to attack its prey.

“And you loved it,” the general spits, determined not to let Ren win this game.

“Not remotely as much as you did,” the brunette challenges him.

The redhead fights the anger as much as he fights the shame and red that threatens to go up to his cheeks. “Is that so?” he raises one eyebrow, partly doubting Ren’s statement, partly maybe telling him that he shouldn’t have done it if he hated it so much.

“It is,” the knight nods as if he tried to convince even himself. “If you didn’t, why are you still letting me touch you?!” he asks him mockingly, keeping his hand on the general’s neck.

The ginger grabs his hand to pull it away.

Kylo’s eyes widen even more as he grabs the ginger’s hand back, not letting it go. “You know I’m right.”

“You know nothing,” Hux hisses, jerking the hand a little, as Ren is now holding both his hands.

“Oh, really?” he spits out, invading the mind of the other male again, fighting hard to read his emotion.

“Stop it!” this time the general really shouts right to his face, jerking his hands away abruptly. “What the fuck are you trying to achieve anyway?!”

“I want to break you, General,” Ren utters. “I want to break your mind into little pieces, to rearrange and reassemble them, to make them  _ mine _ . You were right at last. I  _ want _ you to suffer.”

Hux frowns and this time it’s him who steps closer. “Is that so?” he tilts his head a little. “By trying to die of starvation in your hole here?” he jerks his head up, giving the other a dominant look, “by so pitifully trying to get my attention?”

“I’m NOT trying to get your attention! I’ve told you to leave me alone! It was you who came here anyway! I wanted to  _ sleep _ !” Kylo feels hysterical as he realizes that Hux’s right, starting to sound like a sad kicked puppy again, not even remotely reminding the person he was two seconds ago.

“Hopeless,” Hux utters. “I know what you want better than you do,” he whispers as he brings one of his hands up to Kylo’s neck, caressing slowly the sensitive skin.

Ren exhales as he doesn’t expect this, unintentionally leaning into the touch almost immediately. “How the hell can you know what I want?!” he whispers, his eyes closed.

“You are actually purring right now,” Hux utters, flat, as he watches the other just melt.

“I’m not purring, Hux,” the knight mumbles. “Don’t be stupid.”

“God… you are terrible,” the other shakes his head, continuing to tease the knight anyway.

“The same applies to you,” Ren shivers, tilting his head a bit to gain a better access to Hux’s hand.

“I know what I want,” the general disagrees. “I know what I should do. I’m well aware that I can’t afford to be human,” he sighs. “This is all so wrong, Ren, you know it,” he narrows his eyes as he moves his hand lower, mapping the brunette's muscles, taking in just how weakened he looks.

“Of course I know it,” Kylo dares to move even closer, only a few inches from the lips of the other male. “Tell me, what is it that you want then?” he looks at him with his big sad eyes.

“I want you to disappear from my life,” Hux sighs, “I want to be myself again,” he looks at him back, something else dancing in his eyes behind all the icy coldness. “I want to go back to before the mission on Hoth…” he whispers.

“Then just go…” Kylo whispers as well. “Let’s forget all…  _ this _ . We can’t allow to continue like this anyway…”

Hux retreats, pulling his hand back, nodding just slightly, as if to persuade himself. “But still,” he says, not looking at Kylo, “don’t die here. I don’t want to be held responsible by the Supreme Leader.” Again, he turns away to leave, as he did so many times already, hoping, this time it will be  _ for good _ .

Kylo doesn’t say anything as he watches the general disappearing behind the door. It’s for the best, he thinks, not entirely sure whether he means it honestly or not. Of course it’s for the best. He’s a Sith, for God’s sake, he can’t allow himself to develop any attachments. He returns to his bed again, covering himself completely in his blanket, closing his eyes. But it’s no use. The image of Hux’s pale lips right in front of his own ones are flooding his mind. He growls painfully, writhing around under the blanket for a long time until the exhaustion finally overcomes him, falling asleep again.


	5. Chapter 5

As Hux returns to his quarters in the evening, he feels even more exhausted than usually, even though he’s not coming later than he is used to. There’s around six hours left before he’s planning to get up in the morning, as he normally goes to bed right away. Yet, right now he marches to the almost unused kitchen, opening a cupboard and pouring himself a glass of pure rum. It’s been a whole day and yet, he isn’t quite able to get rid of the image of pale lips and puppy eyes in his mind. He finishes the drink in one go, pouring a new one right away, leaving it on the table to bring the box of his cigarettes. He lights one and drinks the rum quickly again, his emotions not calming down in the slightest. He feels like such a failure again, it’s painfully pitiful.

Meanwhile Kylo wakes up in panic, haunted by another of his nightmares. His body is covered in cold sweat as he’s breathing heavily, his heart beating rapidly. In the last several weeks the amount of his nightmares increased, which is another reason why he can’t sleep or eat properly. Sometimes he dreams about his childhood, sometimes about something which he can’t quite name, sometimes he simply can’t remember. And also there are times when he dreams about Hux. As he did today. He gets up, trembling all over his body, needing at least some soothing presence, knowing only about one person, who can give it to him. He dresses into his full armor again, leaving his room, heading to the general’s quarters. As he finally arrives, he bangs on the door desperately, completely forgetting that the ginger gave him his code a month ago.

Hux growls. It's night already and the last thing he’d like to hear is this sound he would so much love to forget. It’s familiar, yet quite unwelcomed, even though he gets up in the end, dousing a cigarette to open the door. Kylo sounds stubborn and pretty desperate, so Hux doubts he would leave anyway. “Yes?” he tries to give him disrespectful cold glare to make him leave right away, but after four glasses of rum it’s rather difficult.

“Can I come in?” Kylo asks him urgently. “Please,” he adds.

The older looks at him in disbelief for a few moments, blinking, then he steps out of the way, the alcohol hazing his senses just slightly, making him vulnerable – against the puppy at least. “What is it?” he asks, going back to his kitchen.

Ren follows him, sitting on the empty chair, taking his mask off almost immediately, frowning a bit as he sees the glass of rum. “I… I didn’t want to be alone,” he admits silently, staring at the table, still trembling a bit.

The general watches him for another several moments, only the alcohol stopping him from sending the knight back right away with a fitting remark. And the way Kylo looks utterly destroyed. But he wouldn’t admit that. “Why?” he just asks as he examines the frightened look on the puppy’s face.

“I… I had a nightmare,” the knight mumbles, staring at his hands, not looking at Hux at all.

The general leans to the table right next to Ren, examining him closer, before he puts a glass in front of him, filling it with the golden liquid. “I have nothing to say…” he just utters.

“You’ve asked me,” Kylo sighs, “and I provided you with an answer. I didn’t want to bother you in the first place… but I’ve nowhere else to go,” he admits, hating himself.

Hux looks at him for a while, ruffling his hair in the end. “That’s why I’m actually offering,” he points at the glass, then picks up the box of cigarettes to light another one.

“I don’t drink,” Kylo sighs as he watches the ginger smoking. “You’re the one to tell me something about dying. Just look at yourself.”

“It’s slower than starvation,” Hux shrugs a little, trying not to be affected by the pitiful expression on Kylo’s face. It’s hard, as Hux is a little tipsy, so he ruffles his hair again just to look at him right after that. “What do you dream about to be so affected?” he asks in the end against all his better judgement.

“It varies,” Kylo exhales as he feels the fingers in his hair again – it’s actually incredibly pleasant. “I dream mostly about things I can’t describe. Only images. Sometimes… about my past…”  _ And sometimes about you _ , he thinks painfully.

The look Kylo gives him is almost enough to make him fall for the monster all over again – even though he still keeps telling himself he feels nothing for the knight and actually never has – so he looks away, drinking the glass he filled for Kylo down himself. “Alcohol and cigarettes actually help to get rid of dreams,” he points out.

“Do they?” the black haired male raises his eyes to look at him. Hux’s cheeks are a bit flushes because of the rum already. “You’re starting to get properly drunk, aren’t you? Do you drink so often? Or what’s happened to  _ you _ ?” he asks, having no idea how deep in this shit the general is.

“A  _ disaster _ happened to me,” the older points out, giving him the look. “I’d rather not name it…”

“Am I affecting you so much?” Ren is staring at him, surprised to actually hear the general to say something like that.

“I’m getting drunk, as you said yourself, don’t bother with my nonsense,” Hux looks the other way, sighing heavily.

“Hux. Please, tell me. I want to know.” Kylo dares to touch his hand a bit, jerking away a little as if he couldn’t believe he actually did that. Even though he’s not realizing it, he’s still trembling, transferring the sensation into the hand of the older one.

“You can find out yourself, can’t you?” the other shrugs, moving his hand away, as the trembling fingers of the other one are quite hard to handle in his current condition. “You’ve proven that to me just this morning…” it sounds somehow hurt, making the general so not himself, as he is affected by the alcohol. He’s still lowering his gaze.

“I hate the fact I don’t know what you’re thinking,” the knight finally looks at him. “I  _ need _ to know what you think, Hux.”

“I’ve told you already… and you looked yourself,” he shakes his head. “I don’t change my mind as drastically and as often as you do,” he looks at him. “Anything you think  _ could be _ isn’t really possible.” he frowns at the puppy.

“I don’t think there could be anything,” the knight shakes his head, Hux’s words finally returning him to the ground. “I just find your presence soothing… in a way.”

“Fine…” Hux says. He moves closer, still leaning against the table, returning the hand to ruffle his hair. He moves so he can tickle the knight’s neck, actually enjoying his reactions quite a lot. “Do you want to hear the piano?” he asks quietly.

Kylo actually starts to smile, looking incredibly tired with this expression, but happy for the first time in ages. “I’d love to.”

“Come then…” he doses the cigarette, making his way to the bedroom. He sits behind the instrument, looking at Ren for a while. He starts without another word, in low tones, his fingers skillfully moving on the keyboard, even though he’s had quite a lot of drinks already.

Kylo is watching him wide eyed, not even able to move. This is the first time he actually sees a living person playing such an archaic instrument and it’s incredibly  _ beautiful _ . He is staring at Hux’s long fingers which are flawlessly playing the saddest and the most melancholic melody the brunette has ever heard. He is listening, completely struck down, the torrent of emotions flooding him intensely. Without even knowing it, he is standing behind Hux, crouching a little, laying his head on the ginger’s shoulder, embracing him and closing his eyes, savoring every moment.

Hux spoils the part he’s playing, grimacing discontentedly. He stops quite abruptly, turning around just as much as the knight, who’s  _ all around him _ , lets him, noticing how uncomfortable Ren’s position must be. “What are you doing?” he asks, not sounding all that surprised.

“I don’t know…” the knight whispers into his ear, not moving an inch. “Don’t stop… Please. I’ve just… never heard something so beautiful…”

The general sighs. “It’s not even half an hour, you said something about there not being anything,” he reminds him in resigned voice, getting back to playing in the end. He is – again, apparently – starting to realize just how easy it would be to manipulate and dominate the puppy, if he lets himself to be swept away. But that’s something he can’t let happen.

“It’s the music,” Kylo exhales as he moves one of his hands from the general’s waist, starting to caress his neck, circling his finger around the dimple under his ear. “I’ve never heard anyone play the piano before…”

“That’s the most pathetic excuse, you came up with up until now,” Hux whispers, trying to get the other to let him be, as he’s starting to get quite distracted himself. And he is rather sure, he wouldn’t be really able to resist his sad eyes and soft lips if Kylo tried anything, behaving and  _ looking _ like this.

“Whatever,” Kylo mutters as if he didn’t hear the last sentence at all. He is enjoying the touch, Hux’s body is soothing and comforting him, as well as the sad melody of the piano.

“You should stop it anyway,” Hux frowns a little, the knight melting into him again so easily, it really is pathetic.

“I know,” Kylo whispers with his pupils dilated, tilting his head, turning Hux’s one to face him, kissing his lips gently.

“You disease,” Hux whispers as he deepens the kiss, the alcohol making him quite forget all his resolve. As he turns his whole body to face Ren properly, he moves one of his hands into his hair, deepening the kiss. Yet it takes just a moment before he pulls away, eyes dark, deep frown on his forehead. “You should leave,” he shivers, even though he is already trying to get under Kylo’s robes with his free hand.

“I know I should…” the knight whispers, but pulls Hux closer, moaning quietly, kissing him again, moving both of his hands on his neck.

The ginger bites his lower lip quite hard, not even teasing, probably just wanting to take some kind of weak revenge for all the things the other does to him. He sucks on his tongue, deepening the kiss, while he leads the knight to kneel. This is all too familiar and he really shouldn’t let himself be swept away. Yet he is already completely lost again.

Kylo hisses as he feels the blood in his mouth, yet he growls, pulling the general as close as he can, unbuttoning his shirt to touch his bare skin. “I’ve missed you,” he moans, not even realizing he’s saying that out loud.

Hux breathes hotly into the kiss, slight goosebumps going down his back on the words. He is aware all too well that the beast, completely tamed already – or all the time precisely – was just grumpy and sulking, and it’s disturbing how fast he fell for it again, getting them both back right where they were. “Aren’t we hopeless…?” It’s not even a question. He moves to lick, kiss and bite his neck, marking him again.

“Of course we are…” Kylo slightly chuckles, undressing Hux’s shirt, letting it fall on the floor. He starts to kiss him again and pulls the general’s hand who loses his balance, falling into Kylo’s arms.

The redhead pulls away a little to get rid of the upper half of Kylo’s clothes as well, pushing the knight on the floor. He forces his way between his legs, leaning over the other, stealing deep kiss again. Kylo is still a little clumsy and reckless, eager just as the puppy he is. It’s  _ sweet _ in a way, unfitting them almost painfully.

The brunette whines – yes, really  _ whines _ – as the redhead pushes him on the floor and crawls on the top of him, starting to be aroused and hard again only because of this. This is a disaster, he thinks, but suppresses the thought quickly as the general leans against him again. It just possibly  _ can’t _ be that wrong if it feels so bloody right.

Hux rubs one of his thighs against his crotch, making the knight shiver and whine even more, enjoying it all awfully as he makes the wild disaster bend to his will. He moves his mouth again so he can bruise his skin even more.

“You seem to be enjoying marking me all over,” Kylo utters, which sounds more like a moan too. “I thought you don’t want anyone to know about this… about  _ us _ …”

“You cover yourself quite well,” the older answers in a shaky voice, not commenting on the fact it was him, who must have walked around the ship with bruised neck the whole day. “I like you marked by me…” he whispers as he pulls himself away a little, moving his fingers to play with Kylo’s lips. He’s completely lost in the moment again, saying things he normally doesn’t even dare to think.

“But why? Why, Hux?” Kylo whispers, but doesn’t question it and moves against him, his brain again ceasing to work properly.

Hux is quite aware that the stubborn puppy lets himself be tamed and dominated only just as long as it doesn’t know, so he shakes his head a little. “You’re mine,” he just whispers into his ear, sucking it in his mouth, while he pushes his fingers between the knight’s lips. He plays with Kylo’s tongue a little, enjoying the wet sensation before he moves to tease his nipple with the salivated hand.

Kylo shouts out in intense pleasure, not ever imagining his nipples to be this sensitive. His erection is now fully hard under his robes, and he is actually somehow enjoying the sentence the general just said, the idea of being his and his only sickly alluring.

The ginger contemplates the idea of bringing the other to his bed, as he has completely fallen into it again and as he is aroused and not quite himself, still aware that he would despise himself as the bed would remind him of Kylo every night. But he still doesn’t want to endanger his piano, getting up to his knees and bringing the brunette with him to sit. “Let’s move to the bathroom.”

“What?” the knight muffles out a frustrated sound, embracing Hux, laying his head on his chest, trembling, licking his skin. “Why?”

“It’s going to get messy, puppy,” he can’t fight the need to call him that, as that is the only creature Kylo reminds him of right now. He moves his hand to bring the other’s face to kiss him tenderly. “You are making me do things to you that are going to drive you mad…”

“Messy?” the black haired male stiffens in Hux’s embrace as he imagines what could possibly the general do to him, the images of their last rendezvous still vivid in his mind, not even noticing – or perhaps not giving a shit – about how the ginger has just called him.

Hux just rolls his eyes, getting back, actually taking the other to his arms, since Ren doesn’t look like he’ll walk himself.

“Hux, let me go!” Kylo whines. “I’m quite capable of walking myself!” he is snorting in the general’s hands as he carries him, but deep inside knowing he wouldn’t be able to stand properly because of his hard on.

“Well, take it as a revenge then…” Hux smirks a little as he goes through the door. He lets him sit on his bath’s edge, bending to kiss him while he starts to take of the rest of Ren’s clothes.

“Hux…” Kylo exhales, pulling the general closer almost hysterically as his own layers of clothes are disappearing. He is shivering all around his body as the ginger keeps undressing him, almost falling down into the bath.

The general isn’t sure whether he should smile or growl at the image, Kylo completely lost again and already getting utterly shattered. “Yes?” he whispers into his mouth before pulling away to get rid of Kylo’s pants and underwear.

“Just… take me… quickly! I cannot hold it anymore… What are you doing to me?” the brunette is whispering, deep inside knowing that tomorrow he’ll regret his words or the fact he’s completely at mercy of the older one.

“You have no idea what you’re saying…” the ginger just sighs, getting away from him completely, taking in the sight of the knight, naked and flushed in his bathroom, trembling with need and so inviting again. “But I’m surprised you can manage to say something so seducing, considering your innocence,” he teases him while he starts getting his own clothes off, his own pale eyes clouded with need and carnivorous passion.

“I’m not as innocent as you think I am,” Kylo whispers, pulling Hux into a tender kiss.

“Then what do you think I’m planning to do to you?” the ginger asks, kissing him while he unzips his own pants. He himself seems completely lost, as if he forgot everything he didn’t want to do, as if nothing like that ever crossed his mind. But he's still quite in control of his actions.

“The same we were doing the last time…” the knight mumbles against the pale full lips of the general, which are starting to get flushed and pink, making Hux seem way more emotional and human, totally unlike the flawless cold person he is in front of his troops.

“No,” the other whispers, as he gets out of the last pieces of his clothes, pushing the other in the bathtub in the end. He leans over him with a wicked smile, “we’ll try something a little different.”

“Different?” Kylo purrs as he starts to kiss Hux again, actually quite skillfully for a man, who’s never kissed anyone else before, making the general to fall for him more and more with every touch of his soft lips against his own.

“Yes,” Hux only nods, making Kylo sit in his bathtub. He gets in as well, kneeling between his legs, leaning for another kiss and touching him everywhere.

The brunette starts to shiver because of him being cold without the hot water as he sits down, slowly tracing the lower parts of Hux’s body, stopping at his penis, moving his fingertips up and down completely stunned. He starts to examine it thoroughly, as he’s never seen any other one except of his own, making the ginger more horny than he’d imagine.

The general notices the slight trembling and goosebumps on Kylo’s skin, so he kisses him fast and wild before moving to turn the water on to fill the bathtub. He leans over him again, biting his shoulder and moving a hand to tease the knight’s nipple, his other hand fast on Ren’s erection as well. “I want you to use your mouth,” he says, the image of the inexperienced puppy interesting, even though maybe a little scary, as the puppy is clumsy and reckless.

“Do you?” Kylo’s eyes widen as he hears the words, somehow finding the idea incredibly alluring himself. “You trust me enough to allow me such a thing?” he chuckles.

“I’ll kill you if you bite,” he answers, actually serious, but still with a hint of amusement in his voice. He moves to sit on the elevated part of the tub in a corner, ruffling Kylo’s hair and bringing him in for another kiss. He sucks on his tongue again, caressing a scar with his fingers, as he finds it on the other’s stomach.

“Why are you touching my scars?” Kylo whispers against his mouth. “Do you like them that much?” He kisses the ginger again before he manages to reply, ignoring the biting part completely, knowing very well Hux would be more than capable of fulfilling his threat.

“I do…” the older whispers, “and I’d like them even more if I was the one to make them,” he adds, narrowing his eyes, not even thinking about being careful of what he says.

“Don’t you dare,” the knight hisses, biting his lips. “You know I’m stronger than you. You’d only end up hurting yourself.”

“You can see I’m not trying,” the other answers, bringing him closer, pushing him a little towards his once again neglected member. “I’ll make do with the bruises,” he says.

“You’re allowed to do that,” Ren nods, moving his hand to touch the general’s penis again, examining the expression on his flushed face.

Hux licks his lips as he watches the hungry expression on the puppy’s face, caressing his lips with fingertips, pushing them inside to explore his wet soft mouth again. He shivers as the view is once again unbelievably sexy, arousing him way more than it really should. He grabs his hair with his other hand, leading him to his crotch.

Kylo whines as the hand is holding him firmly, not giving him the chance to jerk away. In the instant he feels the scent of an aroused male on his lips, daring himself to lick his erection.

Hux breathes out deeply, shivering a little at the sensation he hasn’t felt in long years. “Continue…” he whispers, eyes half shut. He still holds the knight, but allows him moving a little more, still quite unable to let go of him completely.

Kylo starts to suck on the tip of the general’s member, still not completely decided whether the salty taste on his tongue is disgusting or not. As he feels the ginger’s immediate reactions and hears his silent moans, he takes him fully into his mouth, trying to remember how the general did it himself a month ago.

It’s a little hard for the ginger not to push the black haired male further. Kylo may still be quite clumsy, but he’s a fast learner and his hot wet mouth and curious tongue feel incredible. Hux tilts his head back, closing his eyes completely, one hand in the messy black locks, the other now caressing a scar on the knight’s shoulder. He has to bite his lip slightly to keep himself quiet.

Ren is sucking hard, being driven completely insane by the trembling and shivering of Hux’s body. He wants to make him lose his mind, and he wants even more. He wants Hux to feel the same way he does, swept away and not rational anymore, turning back to the basic animal instincts.

“God…” the other whispers, enjoying every move of Kylo’s tongue and every suck of his hot mouth. He takes a deep breath before letting go of his shoulder to salivate his own fingers properly, before leaning over the kneeling knight to tease his opening, not yet penetrating him, just trying it, curious what kind of reaction he’ll get.

Kylo shouts out, the voice muffled by Hux’s cock. He nearly spits it out, staring at the general, shivering, his own penis is rock hard it hurts. “What are you doing?” he gulps out.

The general moans quietly himself, as the knight’s voice on his penis sends a wave of shivers up his spine. “Teasing you,” he answers honestly.

“Teasing?” the brunette starts to tremble, suddenly finding it very hot. He moves up to the general’s lips again, kissing him passionately and urgently, ruffling his dampening hair, realizing for the first time that the ginger is actually incredibly handsome.

“Teasing, for now…” the other repeats against his lips, giving in to wild kiss full of bites and bruising. He remembers faintly that the water is still on, so he stretches his hand to turn it off as the bathtub is almost half full already. “I want to be inside your body…” he whispers into his ear.

“What?!” Kylo gulps, feeling an electrical jolt hitting his stomach. His penis answers to Hux’s words as well as it starts to leak, uncomfortably and frustratingly hard. The brunette raises up a bit, rubbing himself against Hux’s thigh to get some relief.

“I want to be inside your body,” he repeats, licking the sensitive skin under his ear, sucking it and making him quiver with pleasure and need. He licks his fingers again, making them wet and a little sticky. This time he tries to penetrate him slowly with a middle finger.

Kylo hides his face in Hux’s shoulder, biting his skin hard to prevent himself from crying out loud as he feels the sensation of the finger inside of him. The feeling itself is weird – God, nothing is supposed to come  _ inside _ this hole! – But in his condition it’s arousing him anyway, making him squeeze Hux’s hips convulsively, creating a set of bruises on his uncovered skin.

The older narrows his eyes a little, as Kylo’s teeth as well as the fingers make him hurt in a strangely nice way. He pushes carefully his own finger deeper, looking for the pleasurable spot while he covers Ren’s skin with kisses, actually careful not to cause him unnecessary pain as he finds it quite different from biting and bruising.

There’s nothing left of the fierce Knight of Ren anymore, since the general’s changed him into a trembling moaning ball crawled into his lap, completely left at his mercy. Kylo’s eyes are shut tight as he doesn’t feel anything else anymore except the finger penetrating him and a pleasure so intense he feels like fainting any second.

Hux enjoys every reaction, licking his lips and biting them a little as the other one shivers violently and moans loudly in pleasure when the general finds his prostate. It’s all Ren needs to get over the edge – Hux not even touching his erection – and if the general wasn’t holding him, he would surely collapse into the water. In his way, the beast is unbelievably cute and the sight would be surely sickening for the ginger, was he not the one to make Ren this way. Hux takes Kylo’s hand to his own, making him help with his own orgasm.

The knight doesn’t even know what Hux’s doing with his hand as his mind is swept away by the hardest orgasm he’s ever had. After several moments when he’s able to feel again, recognizing the soft and yet so hard flesh in his hand, he starts to move his hand rapidly up and down exactly as he’s used to do it to himself, watching the ginger’s reactions closely.

The ginger bends down to him, stealing a passionate kiss as he looks into the puppy’s eyes. “Hopeless,” he whispers into his lips, now wet, swollen and perfectly hot, smiling slightly. He makes him kneel more than Ren already is, making him sit, as he releases onto his face, low growl escaping his throat.

Kylo shuts his eyes convulsively as the cum starts to splash dangerously close to his eyes, startled. “What are you doing…?” he whines, but then the hot liquid gets into his mouth and he shuts it tight as well.

Hux honestly has no idea, as he smears his own semen on the knight’s lips, forcing his fingers in his mouth again. He wants him to taste it, to lick and to swallow it, he wants to be  _ all over Kylo Ren and inside _ . It would be scary in a way if he was in a state to pay it any mind. “Making you mine…” he whispers finally, barely hearable. He looks fascinated, not even fully realizing what he’s saying.

Kylo exhales, moaning quietly, feeling butterflies in his stomach just because of the words. He’s so deep in this right now, he doesn’t yet even realize how much. “Do you want me to be yours?” he mumbles through the fingers in his mouth.

The general lick his lips again, goosebumps running up his back and arms at the words combined with such a wonderful view. “I do…” he whispers with a shiver, sliding down to kneel with Kylo in the bathtub, kissing him deeply.

The black haired male embraces his neck, pulling him closer as he steals another kiss from Hux’s lips. “Then I’ll be…” he whispers, the words are so quiet they are almost unable to be heard.

Hux caresses his hips with his palms, then connecting the hands behind his back, embracing the puppy back against all his better judgement. This is just the worst kind of a disaster, as he has done everything he promised himself not to do just a few hours ago. He is perfectly aware that this will be the end of him, yet he can’t bring himself to care. “Yes…” he mumbles against the knight’s skin, kissing and biting him lightly. “Yes…”

Kylo literally hangs on his neck, feeling like something has just died inside of him and something else has awaken. He feels content and secure in Hux’s arms, closing his eyes again, feeling incredibly weird, suddenly realizing he’s feeling  _ complete _ .

The general gently caresses his back, enjoying the taste of his skin, salty and älready familiar. “We should wash and get to bed…” he says then, giving the puppy last kiss before retreating from the embrace.

“Yes, please…” Kylo nods, smiling at him. “I’m terribly tired,” he mumbles, the bags under his eyes so big it’s becoming scary.

“And hungry… you should eat something before bed…” he points out, trying to remember whether he actually has something in fridge. “I got myself such an incompetent puppy,” he sighs, hint of amusement in his voice, as he makes the knight lie, taking the soap himself.

“Hux, I’m not a puppy,” Kylo rolls his eyes, but actually doesn’t complain.

“You are, just look at yourself,” the redhead says as he starts to wash the  _ boy _ . “But you still can grow into an undefeatable beast…” he gives him something of a smile, bending down for a kiss again.

“And I will one day,” Kylo whispers. “But I’ll still be only yours,” he gives him a kiss on his lips again, trying not to think about what he’s just said, because it’s creepy and wrong. He knows he can’t keep such commitments if he’s to complete his training and turn dark completely, but he doesn’t care at all at the moment, letting the general take care of him.

Hux is just as aware how impossible it is, making the promise Kylo just made an utter lie. Yet he wants to believe, he wants to imagine the beast on his leash, until the very end. He would actually love him like that. He may already be too deep even now, only still fighting to confess it. Just the words combined with the way Ren looks are making him shiver again. He finishes his washing, giving him last deep kiss before he pulls away to wash himself as well. “I’ll be looking forward to it…”

“You are such a manipulative bastard, Hux….” Kylo chuckles, biting his lips gently once again. “I still don’t understand why I find it so alluring.”

“I have a training for that, among other things,” the general answers in an amused voice. He finishes his washing, unplugging the tub and stretching to turn the water on once again to shower them both, as the water is quite dirty.

Kylo waits until the ginger washes them, feeling refreshed and clean once again. “Thanks for taking care of me,” he mumbles, the embarrassment flooding him again.

“It’s for my sake as well. You’ll sleep here, won’t you?” the other says as he gets out. He picks up a towel and stretches one hand to Kylo. “Come,” he says.

“I can stay here?” the brunette asks happily as he’s getting out of the shower and Hux can almost see the furry tail and puppy ears again. “You don’t mind?”

“I wouldn’t offer if I did,” Hux sighs, “and I’m not letting you go back just to break something again,” he adds as he wraps the towel around the knight. “God, this is the worst…” he just sighs, as he kisses the puppy again. In a way he himself may even be taking pleasure in taking care of this disaster, turning it just into the watchdog he wants.

“I know what you mean…” Kylo mumbles, instinctively snuggling into Hux’s naked chest again, feeling the terrible need of skin to skin contact. He closes his eyes, inhaling the general’s scent as his stomach growls loudly again. Kylo shrugs uncomfortably, feeling even more embarrassed than before.

“You have no idea…” Hux looks at him with a resigned smile. He dries them both, neatly hanging the towel on a rack. He leads the younger back to the bedroom, putting on his sleeping garment as he gives  _ his puppy _ , something to wear as well. “God, I’m getting up in four hours,” he growls a little when he sees the time on the clock on his nightstand. “Let’s make your food quick,” he moves further to the kitchen.

“Do you have to wake up so early?” Kylo asks, dressing up Hux’s pajama pants, returning him the top as he’s used to sleep with a bare chest.

“I do,” the other answers with a nod, moving quickly, faintly aware that the alcohol haze has already left him – and yet, here he is, taming the beast, making it food. “I have a lot of duties. And there’s more and more of them as the Starkiller base is closing to finish, while you go around the Finalizer breaking whatever you can…” he opens the fridge, content close to nothing. “You’ll have to do with a can…” he says.

“I’m not hungry,” the knight shakes his head even though he can feel his stomach growling, ignoring everything about him breaking things Hux just said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Sit,” the general just says as he puts quite a pricey looking can in front of him with a spoon. He gives him a commanding look. “You dying of starvation in my bed would be the most terrible thing happening to me ever. And the Supreme Leader wouldn’t let me live it down… quite literally,” he sighs, as he moves to pour himself last glass of rum.

“Can I taste it too?” Kylo points at the glass as he takes the spoon into his hand, starting to eat hungrily, completely contradicting his words about not having to eat.

“Once you eat, maybe,” the other looks at him. “But you are sleeping on the floor, if you get drunk,” he sighs, the image of drunken Kylo quite vivid in his mind and scary – every possible scenario. “Which you’ll probably get…”

The brunette raises an eyebrow. “I’m not as weak as you think, you know…”

“But you are starved and not used to it,” the general points out. “I’ll show you the ways of the adults some other time,” he smirks. “I’m already spoiling you quite terribly. Shouldn’t knights be chaste?” he raises an eyebrow, completely giving up to behave cold and unaffected around him.

“I’m not the kind of knight you’re used to, Hux,” Kylo is mumbling with the mouth full as he’s eating the can, reminding of a stray dog that hasn’t eaten in weeks.

Hux downs the glass, moving to lean against the table next to Ren. “What kind are you then?” he asks, narrowing his eyes.

“Yours?” the knight shrugs his shoulders, finishing the can in a record amount of time, not wanting to talk about his past at all.

Hux’s eyes widen a little, but the word combined with the lost puppy eyes send shivers down his spine again. “Yes…” he answers quietly with an actual smile as he gets closer, moving to tickle his neck a little.  _ Mine to mold and tame _ , he thinks with satisfaction. “Let’s go to bed…”

“Okay,” Kylo nods and gets up when an idea occurs in his mind. He takes the general’s hand as they are retreating into the bedroom, caressing it, moving his long fingers up and down, caressing it completely.

Hux doesn’t comment on his action as he lets him lead the way. “Don’t cling to me,” he says as he gets under the blanket.

“I don’t,” Kylo mumbles, crawling into the bed next to him, taking his hand once again, entwining their fingers.

“You do…” the redhead says, sighing. He moves to face the other, even though he doesn’t really see anything, his quarters being in complete darkness. “It makes me uncomfortable, you now?” he just shakes his head. “I’m not used to this.” He realizes he didn’t even brush his teeth, as he was taking care of Kylo – who apparently didn’t do it as well – grimacing in disgust.

“You’ve never been in a relationship before?” the knight asks as he snuggles to him even closer, breathing him in. “I thought that’s what normal people do…”

“None of us is normal, Ren,” Hux says, flat. “I’ve done quite a lot of things, but I’ve kept my bed clean… since the academy up until now…” he sighs.

“Does it bother you so much?” Kylo whispers against his chest, sounding slightly hurt again, not able to help it. “If you don’t want me here, I can go…”

“You making me feel sorry for you in such an obvious way almost makes me do so…” the ginger rolls his eyes. He actually scratches the knight behind his ear as if he was a dog Hux’s never had. “But I’ve already promised you, you may spend the night…” he kisses him on the forehead, almost cuddly.

“I don’t want you to feel sorry for me,” the knight shakes his head. “I’m fine. I’ve managed by myself without you until now…”

“Yes…” the older says, not complaining even though he’d love to, remembering just how late it already is. “Goodnight,” he says somehow awkwardly, as the last time he said such a thing was to his mother more than twenty years ago.

“Goodnight,” Kylo responds, embracing Hux tight. Even though he hasn’t realized up till now, his quarters are warmer than the general’s are and he slightly shivers as he’s still tired and sleepy, craving the human warmth.

Hux just sighs, moving one hand to caress Kylo behind his neck slightly with his fingertips, trying to get used to his hot body, as he is not at all used to sleep in such conditions. He closes his eyes, trying to get at least some rest.

Kylo kisses his lips once more as he instinctively finds them in the dark, half asleep already, Hux’s presence calming him down. “Hux…” he mumbles sleepily, not entirely sure what he wants to say himself.

“What?” Hux growls quietly, as he himself was already drifting into sleep, but Kylo doesn’t hear him anymore as he is fast asleep already, his breath steady and regular.

The general feels the need to kick him out of his bed, but he actually brings him closer in the end, cuddling with the puppy himself. Even though he’s hot and uncomfortable, he falls asleep right away.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day Kylo wakes up and finds out that Hux has already left. He sighs and closes his eyes again, snuggling to the pillow instead. It smells like the general and the familiar scent comforts him, in a way. As his stomach starts to growl again, he gets up, remembering Hux’s words about not dying because of starvation. He finds another muffin on the nightstand with a piece of paper attached to the bag. _Eat this and don’t you dare breaking anything. And before you come and talk to me, don’t forget to brush your teeth._ After reading the message a slight smile appears on Kylo’s lips. He eats the muffin, grateful for the gesture and brushes his teeth with one of the toothbrushes in Hux’s bathroom, not realizing in the slightest that he’ll probably kill him for that. Then he dresses up in a full armor again, heading to the bridge, banging on the door of the general’s office.

Hux raises his head from a report of delay on building of Starkiller’s main control room consoles, as they are missing some kind of crystals. He sighs heavily, letting the disease in his office by pushing a button. It’s already about five hours since he himself got up to fulfill his duties, and he was not missing the distraction.

Kylo enters the room, looking around. “You’ve rearranged your office?” he asks. “Why?”

The redhead doesn’t even comment on the lack of greetings, only leaning into his chair more comfortably, as he was crouching over the reports up until now. He gives the knight a resigned look. “I didn’t want to remember what happened here,” he tells him truthfully.

“I see. Will you rearrange your quarters too then?” he asks him, his voice unreadable through the mask.

“No…” the general answers in a beaten voice, as he shakes his head with a sigh. He pushes the button again to close the door behind Ren, moving a little further from the table on his chair. “I don’t see any point in that, as I got myself quite the terrible puppy and the disaster it makes in my quarters is too much to fix by a simple rearrangement,” he looks at the mask, “take down the thing,” he frowns a little.

“Why?” Kylo asks, but takes it off anyway, laying it on the table. “And I’m not your puppy, Hux.”

“Then why did you come here right after you woke up?” he asks and frowns again, as he looks at the puppy face and has to fight the need to pull the knight closer.

“How can you possibly know when I woke up? I could have been awake for quite a long time without coming here,” Kylo makes a few steps closer to the general.

“I know about everything that happens on my ship,” the ginger points out, “and there are security cameras everywhere,” he adds with a hint of smirk, even though there actually are security troopers now, who must know of Kylo leaving Hux’s quarters at noon after a night spent there.

“So the officers know I slept in your quarters?” the brunette raises an eyebrow. “And you don’t care?”

“I do care, but there’s nothing to do…” he shrugs a little, sighing again. “You are _not_ killing them,” he frowns as he sees the look on his puppy’s face. “They’ve probably told the others already anyway…” as he talks about this with the knight, he feels like opening the hangar door and stepping to the open space without an oxygen mask.

Kylo smiles at him almost _sweetly_ , moving his hand to caress the general’s cheek. “Thank you… for everything you did for me yesterday…” he whispers, laying his forehead on Hux’s, nuzzling their noses against each other.

The ginger tickles his neck almost automatically already, kissing the tamed beast. Everything Kylo’s just done makes him doubt his abilities as a Sith or whatever he is, but the general somehow can’t bring himself to care. “I have a lot of work to do…” he whispers after a while, ruffling his hair.

“I know…” Kylo mumbles, sucking his lips. “I’ll have to go and train myself, I guess. But before that, I’ll grab a bite in the canteen. Thanks for the muffin, by the way.” He smiles at him, obviously truly meaning his words.

“Yes…” Hux mumbles, caressing his skin a little before pulling away from the brunette  again. “I’ll see you… in the evening,” he whispers in the end, making the puppy eyes sparkle.

“Okay…” Kylo puts his hands around Hux’s neck, caressing it a bit. “I’ll probably be in my quarters once you finish…”

That remark actually reminds Hux of something. “Where did you get a toothbrush since you didn’t return to your quarters since yesterday?” he asks with a worried expression.

“I used one of yours,” Kylo shrugs his shoulders. “The one you left on the basin.”

Hux looks at him for a while. “That was mine,” he sighs then, just shaking his head. “But it’s yours now…”

“Why? You seem disgusted, General,” Ren raises his eyebrow. “Is me using your toothbrush so weird?”

“I don’t know, it’s an upbringing thing…” he sighs. It’s true they’ve actually already done much worse things, but somehow, for Hux letting someone – whoever would that be – use his toothbrush seems much worse than having his cock in mouth – or anything else really, as the general is planning to do to the puppy much worse things.

“I thought it’d be okay… I’m kissing you anyway right now…” Kylo nuzzles his nose again, licking his once again pale lips.

“Yes, among other things… but it’s still yours,” the general answers, as he licks Kylo’s chin, bringing the walking headache closer, even though he wanted to get back to work.

“Thank you then,” Kylo whispers into his ear, licking the general’s skin on the neck, biting it gently. “But I should go now… You seem busy. Will you come in the evening?”

“Yes…” the other answers, probably to everything Kylo’s just said. Hux lets him go, getting back behind his table properly. “Well then,” he gives him something of a smile, fighting it up until now.

The brunette  bends to him and gives him last peck on the lips before putting his mask back on, hiding his puppy eyes under it. “I shall go then,” he answers and leaves the ginger’s office.

 

 

Hux enters Ren’s quarters without any warning, quite familiar with the place already – against his will of course. It’s late, as he’s already had his dinner and he is once again tired to death – yet, here he is, visiting the puppy.

Kylo is sitting on the floor in his training room, deep in his meditation. As Hux comes in, he opens his eyes, looking at him. “You seem tired.”

“I am tired,” the redhead nods, walking to the other one as he likes Ren’s current position. “I tell you all the time, I have a lot of work to do,” he reminds him, ruffling his hair and caressing the puppy’s neck and collar bones as if he really was greeting a dog.

Kylo leans into the touch, tilting his head. “You should slow down. At this rate you’ll only get ill again.”

“The work won’t finish itself,” Hux only shrugs his shoulders, touching Ren’s lips with the fingertips. He fights the feeling, too weak and _sentimental_ , but being with the puppy is somehow soothing. He likes how Kylo looks at him when they are alone, he enjoys _owning_ and _taming_ him.

“You know… if you wanted to, I could help you with something…” Kylo takes his hand into his own one. The touch hurts him a bit since he hasn’t trained for more than a week and managed to accidentally hurt his hand as his body was still weakened by the lack of food and sleep.

“I’m used to it…” the older says, “I like doing important stuff myself, it’s hard to rely on someone else…” as he explains himself, he looks at the hand. “You look like you have your hands quite full all on your own,” he only remarks with a slight smile. He brings Kylo’s injured hand closer to his face, examining it with interest.

“I haven’t trained for some time,” the brunette nods. “And my skills have slightly deteriorated. So I must train harder than ever before.”

“You should do that all the time,” Hux only sighs, tasting the dried blood on Ren’s hand, without really thinking about it. It tastes a little strange, more ferrous than his own, but not disgusting in any way. “I’m glad you seem better,” he whispers.

“Better?” Kylo asks. “I was fine all the time, you know…” he points out.

“Especially when you tried to starve yourself to death…” Hux nods, as he lets his hand go to lean down to him for a teasing kiss.

“I wasn’t….” Kylo whispers into Hux’s mouth. “I just wasn’t hungry. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m quite capable of taking care of myself…”

“Fine,” Hux just sighs again, not in the mood to argue with the stubborn creature. “Did you eat a dinner?” he asks anyway.

“Not yet,” Kylo sighs too, pulling Hux closer, making him lose his balance, sitting him into his lap. “I was too busy.”

Hux frowns, not at all happy about their position. He tries to get away a little, into more _dominant_ position. It’s quite hard. “You should then,” he says, turning to face him, as his back now face Kylo.

“I know…” the knight whispers into his ear, pulling him even closer than before so Hux’s back is leaning into his naked chest. “But perhaps I could eat you before having a proper dinner, what do you say?” he nearly smirks.

The general shivers a little, turning to face him with a surprised look on his face. “Where did you learn to seduce in such a way?” he huffs, sounding actually a little unhappy about the disappearance of _his_ innocent puppy. But his body reacts to the knight anyway.

“It just occurred to me,” he starts to suck on his neck. “Do you like me seducing you, general?” his teeth slightly bite Hux’s neck.

“It’s not that bad…” he narrows his eyes. “But I like it more when you whine and shiver under me…” the ginger answers, even as he tilts his head to give him more space. He moves one of his hands behind himself, getting easily under the loose fabric of Ren’s training robes to tease his thigh.

“I’m not surprised,” Kylo chuckles, shivering a bit as he feels the hand on his bare skin. “I’ve seen how you like to treat your troops. But I’m no stormtrooper, Hux.”

“How do I like to treat them?” the older asks with interest, letting the puppy devour his neck.

“Dominating them completely. I’ve already told you that you’re such a manipulative bastard. I like it though,” he bites the sensitive skin under the general’s ear.

“Of course you do…” Hux turns around again, kissing Ren. He bites his lip, sucking it into his mouth, as he digs his nails slightly into the sensitive skin on Ren’s thigh.

The brunette moans silently, moving his hands to caress Hux’s hair. “How can _you_ tell?” he snorts silently.

“All I need is to look at you,” Hux smiles, turning around completely and pushing the younger one on his back again. “You crave my touch helplessly,” he smiles, untying the belt, which is the only thing keeping Kylo’s training robes together. “You are mine…” he whispers as he bends to kiss him again.

“Of course I am…” the brunette shivers. “And I’ll be until the day I have to kill you…” he whispers, tilting his neck to show the ginger he wants it to be nuzzled.

“Good,” the general moves to lick and suck on his sensitive skin, mapping Ren’s torso with his fingers, teasing and tickling him slightly.

Kylo arches his back, feeling as if the general was burning his skin with his fingertips – so intense the touch is. “Take off your clothes…” he whispers, trying to reach Hux’s shirt.

Hux gives him a dominating kiss before straightening on his knees, still kneeling, to get rid at least of his military jacket and shirt. He licks his lips at the sight of the younger, running his fingers teasingly along the hem of Kylo’s underwear.

The knight is hardening again, feeling embarrassed by the fact how easy he is. He traces his hands around the general’s chest, circling his fingertips around his pink flushed nipples.

The redhead shivers slightly as he gets back to Kylo’s lips, bending and kissing him passionately, as if he needed them just as much as air. Then he gets rid of his trousers and everything else, before doing the same with Kylo’s underwear. The view makes him narrow his eyes, the puppy only in loose black robes, almost everything visible, needy for Hux’s every touch.

“Hux…” Kylo whispers, his cheeks flushed again. He pulls the ginger a bit closer, caressing his skin on the face with his injured hand, creating red marks with his fresh warm blood.

“What?” the other asks, smirking like a predator, as he looks at the brunette with his eyes full of lust. He takes his hand to lick it again, enjoying the sickly sensation. “What do you want?” he asks, not getting back to the puppy, just teasing him with his fingers, obviously ignoring his crotch.

“You…” Kylo whispers the obvious as he dares himself to look at his own penis, which is fully hard now. “I love you touching me…” he mumbles.

Hux smiles, obviously satisfied. “What do you want me to do?” he asks teasingly, “where do you want me to touch you?” he lets Kylo’s bloodied hand go as he moves closer again, bending over him and touching his lips. The beast is beautiful so much again, all flushed and needy.

“Everywhere… Touch me everywhere, Hux…” The knight moans, jerking his hips up against him in hope of any touch on his hard on.

The general sticks his fingers in Ren’s mouth again, playing a little with his tongue before moving the hand to caresses his erection just slightly. “I will,” he promises, playing with him almost painfully slowly as he moves to lick and bite one of his nipple.

“Hux!” Kylo shouts out, jerking away at the sensation, but he still can’t help himself but to shiver in pleasure as the general starts to touch his hard member.

“Hmm?” the older one looks him in the eyes, examining him, moving to tease only the tip of his erection. He frowns a little, as he realizes yet again that they don’t have lube.

“What is it?” Kylo blinks as he sees his expression, moving his hips up and down slightly against Hux’s hand without even realizing it.

The other sighs a little, not really wanting to explain something like that to this innocent puppy, imagining all the awkward questions Kylo would surely come up with. “I want to take you properly already,” he tells him anyway in the end, “but I actually don’t want to hurt you _in that way_ ,” he admits a little unwillingly.

“I don’t mind being hurt,” Kylo whispers, having no idea what he’s talking about. “I can always heal myself…”

“You would mind,” the general tells him, as he moves to kneel between his legs again. “And I would mind as well,” he salivates his fingers. He can put up with a few more days of just teasing him, as he moves his hand to carefully penetrate him again. Two fingers will have to do today.

Kylo’s eyes widen as he sees what’s Hux doing, realizing he’s certainly going to penetrate him the same way he did yesterday. “I’ll leave it to you, then…” he closes his eyes again. He just can’t watch the general anymore, afraid he’d fall for him completely. Hux’s body is thin, but muscular, neat and clean, incredibly beautiful. He doesn’t want him to know what he thinks, but is somehow assured that the ginger knows about his opinion anyway.

“God, you drive me mad with your virgin reactions,” Hux utters, taking in just how shattered the puppy is again, Hux not even inside him properly yet. Not even with his fingers. “Little by little I’ll prepare you for more to come…” he teases as he adds second finger, very slowly spreading him. “Can you actually imagine _how_ I want to be in you the most?” he takes one of his legs to lift it, as he bends to start biting on his inner thigh.

Kylo shouts out again, muffled sounds coming out of his mouth even after he bites his lip bloody to prevent himself from making such embarrassing reactions. The fingers inside him feel way more intense than yesterday – finally entirely realizing what the general’s intention is. “You… you want to fuck me… don’t you…?”

“I do,” the general nods in agreement, sucking on his skin. He can actually see quite a number of bite and kiss marks on Kylo’s body that are from yesterday and he likes it a lot. With his fingers, he finds Ren’s prostate again.

The knight gasps in the wave of pleasure that hits him hard. He’d never imagine that _this_ is possible by sticking fingers into his arse – of course he knows about his physiology and knows about the existence of a prostate, but since he’s been trained as a Jedi and then as a Sith from childhood, nobody’s ever talked to him about this stuff. And he’s never wanted to anyway, since getting attached to a sexual partner isn’t allowed in neither of the sides he’s joined, the Light side and the Dark.

The older gets his fingers all the way inside Ren, bending again to kiss him hard before moving to take him in his mouth again. His own neglected erection is almost painful, but he wants to enjoy breaking the knight first. He’ll get his sweet reward once Ren is ready.

Kylo is whimpering, biting his own uninjured hand bloody to prevent himself from screaming too loud, afraid that the troopers outside his quarters might hear him. He is completely at Hux’s mercy again, only moving hysterically up and down against him, only one thing in his mind – the need to come.

It doesn’t take him long and even though this time Hux expects it, it’s still rather uncomfortable as the brunette comes into his mouth. “You are messy,” he says as he spits the semen again, not really caring about Ren’s black robes and the dark meditation mattress. He finally moves his hand to his own erection, looking at Ren, taking in his beautifully spent limp body.

“Let me…” Kylo whispers, moving his own hand to reach Hux’s penis. “ _I_ want to do it…!”

Hux lets him, shivering a little, quiet growl escaping his throat. “Do it with you mouth again…” he instructs him in a low voice, biting his lip.

“Okay…” the knight whispers, moving his mouth once again to lick Hux’s hard on. He’s starting to like it, in a way, devouring his most intimate places in his own mouth, making the general to lose his mind, thanks to him. _Only_ to him.

The general moves to sit more comfortably, bringing the puppy closer, forcing him a little to take more of Hux into his mouth. He is still aware of himself enough to remember not to make him take all of his erection in at once, but he enjoys how the puppy struggles. He wants to cum in his mouth and make him swallow it all.

Kylo jerks away a bit as he feels the general’s member deep inside his throat, but he doesn’t seem to mind much, sucking on it eagerly. He wants to drive Hux insane, he wants this emotionless heartless son of a bitch to be his, as much as the ginger wants to own Ren.

Hux inhales deeply, moaning in a low voice at the sensation, closing his eyes shut, as Kylo’s hot and wet mouth brings him to the edge. He releases deep into his mouth, fisting his hand in Ren’s hair so he can’t move away, making him suck it to the last drop. “Swallow it…” he whispers, shaking with pleasure.

Kylo starts to choke and cough, the sticky thick liquid feels disgusting in his mouth. He gags as he has big difficulties to swallow it, but the voices Hux’s making force him to do it at last, licking the ginger dry.

“Beautiful…” the older whisper, not even realizing he said it out loud. He moves to lay on the mattress, exhausted as he already came to the knight quite tired. “You have no idea how much I want to devour you whole like a wild animal…” he shakes his head as he looks at the other, eyes half shut. “I need a smoke…”

“You really smoke too much,” Kylo frowns at him, lying next to his torso. “You should just take a shower and go to sleep,” he caresses his cheek, almost tenderly.

“Maybe…” the other only whispers, ruffling his hair as if Ren really was a puppy cuddling to his body. “I’ll have to go back to my quarters anyway…” he sighs, moving to lie on his side, looking at his knight, deep in it beyond measure, _far beyond return_ , as he enjoys tickling the puppy.

“Why?” Kylo mumbles, looking at him with his sad eyes. “You can stay here…”

“I’ll have to get a clean uniform and proper sleep and shower and everything…” he tries to reason, slowly being seduced by the brunette cuddling him. “And people are going to really talk…”

“Your uniform is fine,” the knight snuggles to him once again. “And I think the people are going to talk anyway.”

“It’s not fine, it’s all messy,” the redhead shakes his head. “And it’s actually disturbing, having your _and_ your grandfather’s mask looking at me,” he sighs as he imagines sleeping in Ren’s bed.

“I could move it, you know…” Ren rolls his eyes. “And you can always go for your clean uniform in the morning. Don’t leave…” he whispers, closing his eyes as he breathes Hux in.

“You’d move it for me?” the other looks quite impressed. “You are such a puppy,” he actually smiles, moving to kiss the other in the end.

“Why am I a _puppy_ this time?” Kylo frowns a bit. “I know you don’t like the mask of my grandfather. Or mine.”

“But you knowing it and doing something about it are two rather different things,” the general points out. “Let’s move to the shower,” he says, as he starts to get up. “It’s nice, how desperately you want me here…”

“Hux, I’m not as desperate as you think,” he snorts. “I just like your presence, that’s all. And I don’t really care in which room I have the mask of my grandfather. Originally, I had it here, but I was afraid I could break it, so I moved it to my bedroom.”

“You like my presence,” the older points out with a satisfied expression, as he stretches one hand towards Ren. He keeps the remark of Vader’s mask being already broken enough to himself.

“I do,” the knight admits. “It soothes my mind.” he takes the hand Hux is moving against him, kissing his fingertips.

The older one narrows his eyes, Kylo once again kneeling in front of him. “How?” he asks as he plays teasingly with the younger’s lips, “how is my presence soothing to you?” he raises one eyebrow, moving the other hand to go through Ren’s hair.

“I don’t know,” the brunette admits at last. “It just is. Your mind is… so ordered, so calm. Nothing like mine. I like that…” He sucks one of Hux’s fingers into his mouth as he’s starting to realize that the ginger loves this particular move.

The general’s breath falter a little at the sight. “Can you actually go into my mind without me knowing?” he asks, hypnotized by Ren’s tongue.

“No, not quite,” Kylo shakes his head, still sucking on Hux’s finger hard. “Nobody can. Even the animals recognize someone is breaching their mind barriers. I can control them, but they are aware of that,” he continues, biting the fingertip gently.

Hux shivers, biting his lip, fascinated even himself how much the brunette’s mouth arouses him. “That’s good to know,” he says quietly, just to say something as the mouth makes him lose his mind rather overwhelmingly.

Kylo chuckles, a bit evilly, sucking on the finger as hard as he can. “Are you so afraid I might be entering your mind without you even knowing?”

Hux doesn’t even answer him, just looking at the puppy, taking in his every move, almost moaning. “The shower,” he tries to save himself, feeling pretty close to starting to get hard again.

“As you wish, General.” Kylo stands up, taking Hux’s hand, pulling him up into an embrace.  “My training robes got dirty…” he utters, frowning at the sight of the cum all around.

The redhead looks at him, getting used to all the touching, already almost taking it as something ordinary. “But it looks good on you,” he murmurs, not sure himself whether he means more the cum or the robes themselves.

“You like the fact my robes got dirty with cum, don’t you?” the brunette raises an eyebrow. “If you swallowed it as I did, it wouldn’t have happened,” he bites his lip bloody.

The general frowns a little at the pain, shivering. “I like it…” he agrees in a low voice, tasting his own blood.

“I can see that,” Kylo rolls his eyes again. “You are terrible,” he mumbles, pulling Hux closer. “Can we go to the shower then?”

“Yes,” the ginger nods, letting Ren lead the way.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are broken... and it's only going to get worse. (They are still quite fluffy here...)

Hux wakes up abruptly, startled by a cry that almost didn’t sound human, dangerously close to his ears. For a fleeting moment, he himself doesn’t know what is going on, until he notices the Knight of Ren tossing in the bed next to him, moaning as if in pain, sweaty all over. “Ren,” he tries to wake him up, “Ren!”

Kylo opens his eyes and wakes up with a scream, looking around almost hysterically. As he sees someone in his immediate presence, he stretches his hand, squeezing the neck of the person tight, not thinking, just automatically defending himself with his basic instincts.

“Kylo!” the other male shouts in as much of a commanding voice as he can while being choked, his own instincts of a general taking over. He tries to get out of Ren’s grip and when the brunette actually lets him, he pulls away with a frown, examining the beast.

The knight is staring at him, retreating his hand, still breathing heavily. It takes him a couple of seconds before he recognizes his surroundings and the person next to him. “Hux…?” he exhales, his voice a hoarse.

“Yes,” the ginger frowns at him even though he can’t really see Kylo’s face properly in the darkness. “What the hell was that?” he asks, but his voice sounds soft, almost trying to be calming. 

“Sorry,” Kylo mumbles, turning the light on. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, not really,” Hux shakes his head, blinking at Kylo, trying to get used to the light. “Did you have a nightmare again?” 

“I did…” the knight sighs, his body visibly shaking. “I’m sorry about that… I didn’t…I...” he’s blabbering, still obviously confused.

Against all his better judgement, the general gets back to him, taking his face into both his hands. “It’s just a dream,” he frowns.

“I know… but sometimes I dream about the future…” he whispers, pulling the general closer. “Sometimes, I can see bits of future, which might actually happen… The more often I dream about them, the more likely they are to be true… My grandfather had this kind of visions too… And they were all true, in the end…” he’s explaining in a trembling voice.

“You are not completely the same as him, Kylo,” the older one points out, sighing. “What did you see?” he asks, even though he doesn’t want to know, he doesn’t want to believe, doubting everything there is to doubt about Ren’s questionable  _ sorcery _ . He keeps telling himself that.

“I..” he gulps as he sees the image of himself turning back to light. 

Hux frowns at him again, bringing him completely to an embrace in the end, trying to calm the creature down. It’s already quite close to the time Hux gets up to work. “You?” he asks.

“The Light Side keeps calling to me…” he mumbles at last, hiding into the general’s chest.

For a while, Hux is completely taken aback by the answer, so he just keeps caressing Kylo’s messy black hair. He has literally no idea what to answer to such a statement, as he didn’t even know such a thing was possible. “You want to go back?” he dares to ask in the end, having no idea what kind of answer he expects. Or  _ hopes _ for.

“I don’t know... “ the other whispers after some time. “Some things would be so much easier…”  _ Some things between us _ . “But no, I don’t really want to return. It’s too late for that.”

Hux feel irrational wave of anger threatening to overcome him in his still a little sleepy haze. “They wouldn’t,” he answers, frowning again as he moves his hand to Kylo’s neck. “You are here  _ with me  _ now,” he says in a strong voice, “and we are staying. Fight it,” he looks him in the eyes before moving to kiss him.

“I am fighting it,” the knight whispers against Hux’s mouth. “I’m not planning to turn light again. Never. I just… sometimes I need a guidance from the Supreme Leader… and sometimes from my grandfather... And perhaps… Sometimes I could use some help even from you. You would be much better Sith than I’ll ever be, Hux.” Kylo adds silently, so silently the general almost doesn’t hear him, making him wonder whether the sentence was even real.

Hux pretends he heard nothing even if Kylo’s words were real. “Even if you changed your mind, I won’t let you go,” he says quietly. He isn’t even sure why he’d say such a thing, as Kylo Ren means only problems to them, not able to do anything right, being just overgrown incompetent child. But he will prove very useful once he’ll actually train himself enough. Hux keeps telling himself that. He keeps telling himself that there are no tender or caring  _ feelings _ he has for the puppy. He’s the merciless, cold general after all. “I’ll kill you if you betray us,” he whispers against Ren’s skin.

“I’ve never doubted that,” Kylo mumbles into his chest.

“You gave yourself to me,” the older male says right next to Kylo’s ear. “I’ll kill you if you betray  _ me _ …” he adds.

“If I don’t betray you, I’ll be probably the one killing  _ you _ , Hux… You know it,” Ren points out the facts, slightly calming down, but still cold as all his body is covered in sweat.

“I know,” the older only nods, his statement bare of any other remarks he could add, pointing to Ren’s current state. “We should sleep,” he says. 

“I can’t…” Kylo utters, reminding Hux of a small unhappy child who’s afraid of monsters under the bed. “You wanted to smoke, didn’t you? I’d go with you.”

Hux looks at him for a while as he contemplates the offer. “Fine…” he sighs in the end, prepared to go to work right after Ren finally gets calmed down. “Do you want to take a hot shower before smoking?” he asks in defeated voice while getting off the bed, as the knight is still shivering.

“Perhaps,” Kylo nods, finally getting up, his knees visibly shaking. “You think I’m totally pathetic, don’t you? But lately… the number of my dreams increased… I’m not used to this feeling…” he mumbles, looking at Hux, not wanting to admit that he’s the main reason and the main topic of his nightmares.

The general doesn’t answer him. He doesn’t want to talk about what he thinks of Kylo Ren - as he himself is not entirely sure. And he wants to talk about feelings even less. “Come…” he says quietly, stretching a hand towards him. “I’m not used to any of this as well,” he admits.

The knight nods, taking his hand with the slightest smile. “Thank you,” he gets up and heads to the bathroom to have a quick shower. When he returns, he finds the general sitting in his training room on the floor, already smoking. Kylo sits next to him without a word, still wrapped only in his towel, putting his hand around the ginger’s back.

“Aren’t you cold?” Hux asks before he can stop himself, looking at Ren’s bare chest. He noticed that Kylo’s quarters are quite warm already, but as he saw him right after waking up, he doubts that only a towel is sufficient. 

“I’m fine,” he answers, even though it’s not entirely true. Yes, he is cold, he always is after the nightmares, not able to calm down properly. “Your body is warm,” he states, pulling himself closer to the general.

“Is it?” the ginger asks, now quite sure that Ren’s not fine, as his body is normally much warmer that the general’s. He doesn’t even hesitate before embracing him back. 

Kylo snuggles to him, finally curling up between his legs, coughing a little as the smoke of the cigarettes irritates his throat. “You smell, Hux…” he frowns.

“Deal with it…” the general says as he starts to caress and tickle his throat, trying to properly calm him down like the incompetent confused puppy he is. He takes a deep puff of the cigarette, closing his eyes for a while. 

“Why do you smoke, anyway? It’s bad for your health and your physical condition deteriorates. You’d have a big disadvantage if you had to fight on a battlefield again.”

“I don’t smoke that often…” the older male says without opening his eyes. “And it calms me down… I used to go to the training shooting range as well, but I don’t have much time for that now,” he just shrugs a little. With all his duties as a general, he can barely manage to exercise in the morning, and more often than not he doesn’t even manage that these days, his hands full of Kylo Ren.

“I understand,” the knight exhales silently, planting small kisses on Hux’s chest, then raises his head to look into his face. “Sorry about that. You could always train with me, if you wanted to.”

“I’m not sure I want to risk that…” Hux looks at him, as if he was trying to lighten the mood. “And how would I train with you?” he tilts his head a little, “you train with a  _ sword _ .”

“I could teach you how to use a lightsaber,” Kylo nearly smirks at him, teasing the general, but somehow truly meaning his words.

“I can actually fight with a sword,” Hux admits, remembering all kinds of fighting techniques he studied. “But I thought you could use  _ yours _ only when you could do your sorcery,” he says then, maybe getting a little curious about the weapon. 

“No,” Ren admits. “Everyone can wield it somehow, when its crystal is properly tuned. Even you could, even though you could never match a Jedi or a Sith who’d wield it. But still, do I hear interest in your voice, General?” the knight asks, amused.

“Maybe…” Hux sighs, dousing the cigarette. “How does it even work? I’ve heard you made it yourself and it’s unstable and dangerous…” he teases him back.

“It is,” Kylo answers plainly. “It’s because of the crystal. Each lightsaber needs its own crystal as it creates the blade. Since the fall of the Empire, the crystals became very rare. I’ve used Kyber crystal, highly unstable one. That’s why my saber has the lateral vents. If it didn’t, it would explode as it’d be unable to maintain the heat levels. It’s an ancient design, actually.” Kylo starts to explain, calming himself down a bit during the process as he’s forced to think about something different than about his dream.

The general watches him explaining, aware that it makes the puppy feel better. It’s even interesting, even though Hux would hardly admit that out loud, still trying to appear completely uninterested in all that  _ weird sorcery stuff _ . “Sounds like you…” he nods, slightly ruffling Kylo’s hair.

“What does?” the knight asks him, his eyes closed. “I guess you’re not talking about the ancient design, are you?” he almost chuckles as if he wanted to laugh properly, but has forgotten over the years how to do so. “Have you ever heard about Malachor V and its Great Scourge?”

“The whole thing, actually,” Hux answers, as he watches the puppy calming down properly. “Your clothes look ancient enough,” he points out. “Never heard of it,” he admits then, expecting some Jedi or Sith or Force or whatever fairy tale they never told them at the academy.

“Malachor used to be a planet in the Chorlian sector located in the Outer Rim. It was destroyed millennia ago. The Republic was waging a war against the Mandalorians. It was losing, of course, as the Republic was always weak and pathetic. A lot of Jedi turned dark during the war. The Great Scourge of Malachor ended it, as the whole planet was destroyed and most of the Mandalorians with it. The Republic won only thanks to Revan, a very powerful Jedi, whose battle tactics were exceptional. Even you would have much to learn from him,” Kylo points out, from the tone of his voice clearly obvious he respects the man a lot.

Hux frowns at him, stretching his hand to take another cigaret. “Really, Ren?” he shakes his head, “are you telling me about the Republic winning?” 

“No, not quite. Revan renamed himself to Darth Revan as he became the Dark Lord of the Sith, named himself an emperor and waged a war against the Republic by himself, only with his apprentice named Darth Malak and their droid army. He was an exceptional man. You reminded me of him when you told me that my robes were ancient. He wore very similar garments and a mask as I do,” Kylo continues, visibly calmer now.

“So he went dark and then light again?” Hux tries to understand, really  _ not _ interested. “You pick yourself some  _ terrible  _ idols, Ren,” he huffs as he lets the cigaret smoke out of his mouth and right into Kylo’s face. He realizes he doesn’t really like Ren talking about someone with such respect, nor comparing him to Hux, especially since it was a Republic person, and it all irritates the general even more. He looks away as he is almost afraid it may be showing on his face.

“He was a Jedi who became a Sith,” Kylo coughs, his eyes burning because of the smoke. “And wanted to wipe out the Republic. And I’m not telling you any more if you won’t stop blowing the disgusting thing into my face,” he utters.

“Fine,” the other sighs, unwillingly. “So why didn’t he?” he asks, still convinced he doesn’t care. He just wants to know how terrible this Revan person was, so he can glare at Ren afterwards.

Kylo sighs as if he didn’t want to answer it at first. “He… was killed,” he says at last. “By his apprentice, Darth Malak. This is the Sith way…The apprentice, killing his master when he’s powerful enough…” he keeps explaining, examining Hux’s face.

Hux frowns at him, getting a little lost in the story, but not letting it show. “I don’t see any logic in that,” he points out with a huff.

This time Kylo frowns too. “What the hell did they teach you at the academy of yours?” he asks in a derogatory voice.

“Different stuff,” the redhead shrugs his shoulders, not wanting to argue, quite tired after the abrupt awakening. He doses his third cigaret. “Feeling better?” he asks the puppy.

“I do,” Kylo nods, realizing that talking about the Sith history really made him feel better. “Are you planning to smoke some more, or can we go to bed?” he asks him, blinking as he calls them  _ we _ . That’s just wrong. They’re not a couple!

Hux only raises one eyebrow, shaking his head. “I’m not sleeping anymore, Ren,” he says then, getting up. “I’ll have to be on the bridge in less than two hours anyway,” he remembers his uniform, all wrinkled even though he tried to fold it properly before sleeping. He doesn’t even want to imagine all the horrible fantasies the troopers are going to get if anyone sees him, as he’ll have to get back to his quarters.

“But it’s two hours,” Kylo looks at him with a puzzled expression on his face. “You still have plenty of time.”

“It would only make me more drowsy if went to sleep again,” the older male reasons, shaking his head again. “And I still need to take a shower and change,” he adds.

“Stay, Hux…” Kylo takes his hands into his own. “I want you to stay.”

“You are fine already,” the general shakes his head, disturbed by the need in Kylo’s voice and his puppy eyes. He’s having second thoughts again, realising just how wrong this all is. How attached they are starting to be. Both of them. And from the corner of the room, a disfigured mask looks at him as if it was laughing at his misery. 

“I might be,” the knight looks at his full pale lips and moves his head closer to his face, to reach them and to lick them. “But I want you to stay anyway.”

“Ren,” the general whispers weakly against his mouth before getting swept away by the kiss. “I need to get back to my quarters…” he can’t even properly push the knight away and he hates himself for that.

“I know…” the brunette nods. “I can understand that. But you’ve said you still have time. Stay a while longer then,” he’s trying to convince the ginger.

Hux just stand there, not moving, looking at the disaster, trying not to be affected. He realizes he actually doesn’t want to leave, he  _ enjoys  _ how the puppy is attached. But he’s getting almost scared of his own reactions to Ren’s behavior. And he realizes painfully that with every second he stays, everything’s getting worse. “Why?” he asks quietly. 

“I’ve said already I find your presence soothing,” Kylo whispers between the kisses, completely timid and tamed, not at all reminding the beast he actually is. “And soon I’ll have to leave again. I guess… I’ll miss you… In a way.”

“God, Ren,” the general closes his eyes, moving in the end to place his palms on Kylo’s bare hips, bringing him a little closer. “Do you realize what you are saying?” he murmurs into his skin.

“I do,” the knight answers. “Of course I do,” he moans silently as he feels the gentle touch.

“Let’s go back…” Hux only sighs, leading the younger one back to the bedroom.

 

 

Kylo Ren is walking around the Finalizer, looking as dangerous and sinister as usually. Even though the tantrums he is regularly throwing ceased on intensity during the last days, he’s still nobody to be messed with and everyone on the ship knows. The knight is heading to the chambers with a holo projector to meet the Supreme Leader Snoke. As he finally arrives, he seals the door behind him, waiting for the image of his master to appear.

“Ren,” Snoke appears just as enormous as always, sitting on a throne, looking at Kylo with pale blue piercing eyes.

“Supreme Leader,” the knight answers, looking him straight into the face. “Why have you summoned me?”

“The time has come for your next mission,” his master answers. “I hope you are prepared to leave as soon as possible, we need the map,” he examines Kylo thoroughly, as if he was looking for something. 

“I am ready,” he utters through the mask. “I’ve gained some information on the previous quest. Do you have any advice for me, sir?”

“Look for the Church of the Force, as I believe their leader has what we are looking for,” Snoke crouches a little, towering over the knight. “Their followers are scattered through the whole Resistance.”

“Yes, Master,” Kylo answers. “Do you have any orders where to start? Or any idea where the person might be?”

“The name is Lor San Tekka,” the Supreme Leader looks at Ren, as if he was supposed to already know. “But I have not yet seen his dwelling,” he frowns, his face turning into twisted grimace.

“I understand,” Ren nods, his voice emotionless. “Everything is starting to fall into its place. It is not so surprising that he has the map. General Organa has always trusted him a lot. I will find him and kill him. I have been looking forward to that day.”

“Is that so?” the other waves his hand, telling Kylo to come closer. “I see a new  _ attachment  _ forming inside of you,” he whispers, it’s almost a hiss, evil and poisonous. He looks at Kylo Ren as if he knew everything about him.

“There is none,” he answers immediately, maybe way too quickly. “I have no attachments. My only goal is to master the Force completely. And to serve you while doing so, Supreme Leader.”

“How dare you lie to me?!” Snoke’s voice echoes through the chamber as if he was standing right in the middle. “Prove yourself, Ren!” he commands as he straightens himself on his throne. “Do not make me doubt you.”

“You do not have to doubt me, master. He means nothing to me,” Kylo points his chin out as he’s talking to Snoke, trying to look a bit higher. He knows that his words are true - in a way, since he doesn’t really care about Hux, does he?

Snoke narrows his eyes, his black pupils piercing right through Kylo, as if he knew - and seen - more than the brunette himself. “Do not forget, that  _ you  _ are the Master of the Knights of Ren.”

“I am well aware of the fact,” Ren answers flatly. “And nothing will come in my way in order to fulfill my duties. I know I was distracted by my failure during the last couple of days. Now I am over it and back again, about to raise stronger than ever before.” Ren is now fully convinced in Hux’s absence that everything’s going to be alright, that he’ll do exactly what he says, not questioning himself.

“Show me then,” Snoke says, as his projections starts to falter. “Prove yourself worthy.”

“I will, Supreme Leader. I will bring you the map and will prove myself,” Kylo answers, feeling a bit anxious as always when he’s on the meeting with Snoke alone. “Is there anything else you need, master?”

“No,” the other says, “go and fulfill your duties,” he says, the hologram already disappearing. 

The knight feels relieved as the image of Snoke disappears completely. He takes a deep breath, returning to come back to the bridge, to tell Hux the latest news. When he arrives, he spots the ginger standing by the window, overseeing the preparations for departure of several of his troops. Kylo heads to him immediately, feeling the slightest tingling in his stomach, despite what he just told to Snoke.

“Ren,” the general doesn’t even look at him, recognizing him just by the sound of heavy military boots Kylo wears. “Have you talked to the Supreme Leader?” he asks.

“I have,” the knight answers. “I have been given an important information. And I will need your help.” He looks at the ginger, his face unreadable under the mask.

“What kind of help?” he asks, not turning to look at the mask, as there is nothing to see anyway. He tries to sound irritated by the presence of the brunette, tries to convince himself he really is and it’s not just to maintain their  _ image _ .

“I’ll need some of your troops. To come with me. And to be sent all over the galaxy to look for person called Lor San Tekka. The Supreme Leader insists,” he adds to make sure that Hux won’t question his request.

Hux narrows his eyes, as he turns to look at the masked monster this time. “I will not let you have my troops only to kill them in your childish outbursts,” he tells him in firm voice, actually glad there is no face to look at. “Can you guarantee you won’t do the same thing as last time?”

“I’ve already promised that to the Supreme Leader,” Kylo replies, still sounding oddly unemotional, this being something the general isn’t used to anymore after the last week. “You don’t have to worry about your troops. This time I really need them,” he is staring at Hux intensely, feeling his cheeks flushing even under his mask.

“Fine then,” Hux slightly nods, giving the mask a frown. He still doesn’t like the fact, that Kylo is taller than him, his military boots and mask only helping the image. “I hope your mission won’t be as disappointing as the last one,” he manages to maintain his face stoic and eyes cold, yet, he has noticed a while ago already, that several officers are giving them interested glances, hoping to stay unnoticed.

“I certainly hope as well,” Kylo hisses through the mask. “And don’t you dare mock me here, in front of the others,” he utters hatefully. “Nothing gives you the right.” _ Not even the fact you sleep with me _ .

“I am not doing anything of such a sort,” the older male turns back to look at his troops. “I will assign the troops as soon as I get to my office,” he says then, “but you’ll have to tell me all the systems you want them to be send to.” 

“I will,” the knight nods. “Can you come with me right now?”

“Probably,” he turns again, something a little different in his eyes, as if he was for some reason amused by Ren’s words.

“What?” Kylo snaps as if he knew what the general is thinking about. “I have a lot of things to do myself. I still haven’t trained today.”

“It fascinates me in a way,” Hux says, “your daily program. I’ve been working for six hours already,” he points out. “Follow me then,” he looks at the troops for the last time before moving towards his office.

Kylo follows him, not entirely sure whether the general is mocking him or not. As the door to his office closes behind them, he sits on Hux’s chair next to the table comfortably. “I need as many troops as possible to be send to the Western Reaches,” he states.

“Well, then let me get to my computer,” the general looks at him, his voice still completely unaffected as he behaves as professional as ever.

“Fine,” Ren utters, abruptly standing up. “Satisfied?”

“Do you want your own chair in my office?” Hux raises an eyebrow as he gives him a questioning look. “I thought you wanted it to be done as soon as possible,” he adds when he sits, opening the database of trooper squads.

“I do. You said you were busy yourself. And I don’t need my own chair. Unlike you, I have a job, which doesn’t require sitting the whole day.” Ren’s voice is slightly sassy, terribly unlike the man Hux knows without the mask.

Hux completely ignores the remark, fighting the idea to tell Ren he can as well kneel. “I can give you half of the troops that are currently on the Finalizer, as there are troops coming from Starkiller tomorrow,” he says. “But you won’t be able to leave before tomorrow morning,” he frowns as he feels completely irrational thrill in his stomach at his own words.

“I wasn’t planning to leave today anyway,” the brunette answers, his voice calm and collected, completely not like his normal self. He looks at the general, watching him for several seconds before finally saying something. “You’ve smoked again, Hux. It’s not like you, to stain your office like this.”

“Take the thing off, you won’t smell it then,” Hux looks at him, a little startled by his words. And the remark itself doesn’t make him happy in any way as well. “I’ll send someone to you with the details of the troops, which are to accompany you,” he goes back to their duties. “I’ll have to send notices to their commanding officers as well,” he is already scrolling, working fast.

“Fine,” Kylo is watching him and then takes off the mask without a single word. He frowns at the ginger. “I still smell it,” he utters in his normal soft voice now.

“You don’t, you are just imagining it,” Hux shakes his head. “I don’t smoke in my office. Ever,” he points out, getting slightly irritated as the other one is trying to make him feel guilty. “When exactly are you planning to leave anyway?” he asks as he looks at Ren, taking in his big eyes and pale lips. He has almost everything prepared, all he needs to do is to write the notice and to send it. “And for how long?” It’s easy to pretend the only reason he wants to know is to tell the other officers. “I guess the troopers that are not going with you don’t have to leave the exact same time as you…” he adds.

“No, they don’t,” Kylo nods. “If they’re ready, they can leave right away. I’m leaving tomorrow morning,” he continues. “And I have no idea how long I’ll be gone. Will you miss me or what?” the knight chuckles, still sounding sassy.

“I told you, no one can leave until tomorrow morning,” the general points out before he looks at him again. “I want to know when my troops will come back,” he says, examining Ren, remembering how the knight himself told the redhead he’d miss him. It makes him bite his lip. “I’ll be glad to get rid of the cancerous disaster you are, for a while…” he whispers.

“Cancerous?” Ren raises an eyebrow. “Were you looking up new insults for me in the dictionary, Hux?” he chuckles again, a bit louder than before, taking several steps closer to the general.

“No,” the older one says as he stops writing the notice to turn around and to look at Ren. “I just see you and it comes to me quite naturally,” he frowns. “Shouldn’t you go training since you are done here?”

“I should indeed,” Kylo shrugs his shoulders. “But since I have my mask off already, it would be shame to leave just like that, don’t you think?” the brunette whispers and bends over to Hux, kissing his lips gently.

“I am in the middle of my work,” the redhead says, even as he moves one hand to entangle it in Ren’s black locks and to bring him closer. He remembers the last time he did something with Ren in his own office, trying to reason with himself that he really can’t let be swept away.

“I know you are,” Kylo nuzzles his nose, sucking his lip into his own mouth. “I’m leaving already, don’t worry,” he kisses the general again, pushing his tongue into his mouth, exploring it thoroughly. 

Hux nods just as he grabs the knight’s robes to bring him even closer, trying to make him kneel again in the end. He answers the kiss just as eagerly as he is given it, used to this sensation already, finding something nicely familiar and calming in Ren’s body. “Disease,” he whispers against his skin as he moves to tease his sensitive neck. “Curse…” 

“And yet you’re here, not wanting me to leave. You  _ will  _ miss me, General, once I’m gone,” he keeps whispering against Hux’s mouth, even though the hands are pulling him down.

The general makes him kneel in the end, pulling away just far enough to look at him. “I want my suffering to be over with quickly,” he sighs quietly, shaking his head. “What about you? You won’t even fall asleep properly…” he caresses the puppy, looking at him with strangely serious expression.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kylo exhales, tilting his head to make a better access for the general’s fingers. “I’ve managed without you until now,” he closes his eyes, not really wanting to admit that his condition is getting worse, that he’s worried himself how he’ll possibly manage.

Hux sighs, worried just by the tone of Kylo’s voice. “This is an utter disaster,” he says as he lets the younger male rest his head on his thigh, reminding him completely of a tamed beast. One hell of a terrible tamed beast.

Kylo lays his head on the ginger’s thigh obediently, enjoying the warmth of the other male. “What is the utter disaster this time, Hux?” he mumbles.

“This whole… thing…  _ between us _ …” the general answers, not wanting to call it relationship even though he is quite sure he didn’t manage to say anything much better. He keeps caressing and tickling the knight’s neck with one hand, moving the other one to the screen of his computer. “Do you want to stay here longer?” he asks.

“I thought you were busy,” Kylo whispers, his eyes still closed. “I thought you didn’t want me in your office.”

“I don’t,” Hux tries to say weakly, but it comes out as more of a sigh than words. “But I can manage to work even with you here…” he adds as he finishes the notice, fingers moving fast on the letters on a lower screen.

“I’ll have to go myself….” Kylo sighs, realizing that he actually  _ wants  _ to stay. He feels slight tingling in his stomach as he remembers Snoke’s words about him creating an attachment, a bond with someone. He raises his head to look Hux in the eyes, suddenly feeling the urge to murder him, to break his neck because of what he’s done to him. However, this murderous rage disappears in a moment, only to be replaced by intense longing. “Will you come once you’re finished here?” he smiles at the ginger with his big puppy eyes. “I want to see you again before I leave…”

“I will,” the general answers without much hesitation, giving the younger one a deep kiss before pulling away to let him go. He only shakes his head as he realizes that whole last week he was in his own quarters only to take a shower and to change.

“Okay…” Kylo straightens up, running his fingers up the general’s neck. “I’ll wait for you,” he whispers, giving him one last kiss and puts his mask on again. “Come as soon as possible,” he adds and leaves the room.

Hux closes his eyes for a while, the places on his skin which Kylo Ren touched almost burning. He can only hope the knight will be away for a long time, or they are both doomed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long pause, we'll try to make the updates more often now

The whole day passes and the knight keeps training hard. His previous weight loss isn’t noticeable anymore, on the contrary, he managed to gain another few pounds of muscles. His hands are covered with calluses and are slightly shaking under the weight of the heavy sword. Kylo finally puts it away and takes his lightsaber into his hand and he instantly feels everything to fall into the right place. The saber is nothing more and nothing less than an extension of his arm, his movements swift and natural. He is so caught up in the moment that he completely forgets that Hux’s supposed to visit him, so he’s surprised when he sees the ginger standing right in front of him.

The general’s been watching him for a while, satisfied in a way that the knight seems to be completely alright already, looking like a  wild animal, well build and deadly, all fierce eyes, sharp teeth and long claws. But just as he notices Hux, he’s somehow changed back to the puppy in a way, wagging its imaginary tail happily. “You look good with the sword,” he admits instead of greeting him.

“Do I?” Ren smiles, turning off the lightsaber. “Wanna try it?” he nods in the way of his weapon.

“I’m not sure, based on what you told me, I’m afraid it would blow up in my hands or something if I’d even be able to turn it on,” he says as he goes further in the training room. 

“Don’t worry. It won’t blow up. Even though the saber itself is unstable, I’ve made sure that this won’t happen. Wanna try it or not?” he asks.

“Fine,” the ginger looks like it was actually Ren persuading him to try it and he had nothing to do with it. He gets to the knight, who is still standing in this enormous room - Hux still can’t understand how did it happen that Ren’s quarters are so much bigger than his - and examines the thing in Kylo’s hand with doubtful eyes. 

“Take it,” Ren pushes it into his hand. “And push this button to turn it on,” he instructs him.

The older one tries it very carefully, frowning when the lightsaber doesn’t turn on at all. Still, it’s better that the thing blowing up or something, even though he feels awkward and stupid for actually being interested in this fairy tale sorcery. He lets out a dissatisfied huff and looks at the knight again.

“Nothing?” Ren sighs. “Sorry about that. Like I said, my saber isn’t exactly stable. I guess nobody except the Force sensitives might be able to turn on this one…”

“You are making fun of me, Ren!” the general gives him an accusing look, “don’t mock me,” he jerks his head up, getting irritated but still holding the hilt in his hand.

“I’m not trying to mock you,” Kylo answers, moving behind him, embracing him around the waist with one hand, ruffling his hair with the other. “Still wanna try it?” he whispers into his ear.

Hux’s body automatically relaxes a little into the touch, even though he’s still deeply frowning. “This is worse than the time you stomped on my foot,” he murmurs, realizing he’s starting to feel embarrassed.

“Oh, come on… It’s not that bad,” the knight smiles against his ear, giving him a peck on his cheek. “Take my hand,” he adds, moving it on the one with which the general holds the saber. 

The ginger does as he is told, entangling their fingers together automatically, as much as the weapon allows him to with Ren’s hand on top of his.

“Turn it on now,” he instructs the general in a soft voice, laying his own head on Hux’s shoulder.

Hux pushes the button again, turning the weapon on. Was he not trained so well, it would startle him, the sound and unexpected pull of something unknown. He feels a wave of something sickeningly similar to the feeling of Kylo Ren inside his mind, suddenly awfully aware of the knight behind him. He watches the lightsaber almost fascinated.

“Do you like it?” the taller male asks as he sees his expression, his glowing eyes full of something not quite describable. It’s almost as if the general - the cold and cruel person he usually is - was being seduced by the dark side of the Force itself and more he’s clenching the weapon, the more he feels its enormous power.

“It’s disturbing…” the ginger whispers instead of a proper answer, his eyes still fixed on the blade as he tries to swing it slowly, just to see how it feels to move this weapon. “Just as much as everything else about your sorcery…” it’s almost not hearable.

“It’s not disturbing…” Ren keeps nuzzling his neck. “This is what power feels like, Hux.”

“Does it?” the older male asks, biting his own lip, thinking whether once the Starkiller is completed, the feeling of killing off whole planets in seconds will be the same.

“It does,” the knight agrees, slowly letting Hux go, only sustaining the blade. “Try it yourself. Do anything you want to, it won’t turn off now.”

The general steps further away from him, taking the weapon into both of his hands, trying slowly several moves he remembers from the academy when he learned how to properly wield a sword. But this time it feels completely different than ever before.

Kylo is watching the general wide eyed. He realizes that Hux’s body illuminated only by the dim red light of the glowing lightsaber makes him look even more fearsome than he usually is. The sight is just  _ beautiful _ , the general in his uniform, wielding this kind of a dangerous and deadly weapon.

Hux’s movements gradually speed up a little, as he remembers just how good it feels to swing a sword around, only the strange feeling, which is now pushed to the back of his mind, reminding him what kind of sword this actually is. But after another while he stops, the whole situation almost alien. “Should you be lending this to me?” he asks.

“It’d be no use,” Kylo sighs. “You wouldn’t be able to turn it on without my help. It’s a shame, though. It suits you so much.”

“You like it?” Hux asks as he turns the lightsaber off, walking back to the knight. “Even if I wouldn’t be able to turn it on, you’d be quite troubled if something happened to it, isn’t that so?” he gives the weapon back to Ren, still feeling traces of the knight all over him, in his mind. He shivers a little as he touches his hand.

“I would,” he admits. “I am no good without this weapon. No Jedi - nor a Sith - can fight properly without it.”

The general feels almost irrational wave of excitement as Ren tells him something like that himself, admitting such a weakness. He places his palms on Kylo’s hips to bring him closer into passionate kiss.

The knight moans as he feels the strong hands squeezing him, the butterflies in his stomach appearing again. “What’s gotten into you so suddenly?” he whispers against his lips.

“You are mine, Kylo,” the ginger answers, moving one hand to caress Ren’s neck, actually squeezing it a little. “You are my disease, my curse, but you are mine…” he makes him back off to push him against a wall of the training room. Out of nowhere, he can’t get enough of the knight, of this disastrous wild animal. “I want to take you…” he whispers as he moves to suck on his neck.   
“Then do…” the brunette suddenly feels weak in the knees as he hears Hux’s words, imagining what he’s planning to do to him, hanging around the ginger’s neck uselessly. “Take me,  _ General _ ,” he hisses right into his ear, his breath hot, wet and aroused.

Hux bites his skin hard before letting the knight go, leading him to lie on the mattress as he leans over him, stealing another wild kiss. Kylo in his loose clothes - all needy and willing to give the general everything - is all he needs to get quite aroused himself, hungry to finally devour this innocent, yet deadly creature. “I will…” he whispers as he starts to undress Ren.

Kylo is only laying on the floor, once again shivering under the ginger’s touches. He feels the blood pulsing intensely through the skin Hux bit seconds ago, which he finds arousing against his will. His body is marked already by the general, his pale neck and shoulders are bruised, red and swollen because of the lovebites.

The older one somehow can’t fight the need to dominate the  _ boy _ as he sees him so inviting. He takes his own clothes off in a hurry, leaving the shirt on, just unbuttoning it, wanting to feel Ren’s skin on his own. He leans against him once more, sucking on his lower lip and making it red and swollen too, his fingers tracing Ren’s scars.

Kylo raises the upper part of his body to undress the general completely, but then he changes his mind and grabs the shirt only to pull him closer, biting the lips which are sucking his own ones.

The general enjoys it for a little while longer before pulling away yet again, making Kylo lick his fingers to get them properly wet and sticky. He wouldn’t be able to get enough of such view even in hours, the beautiful mouth sucking on his fingers, letting out helpless moans as he teases the knight’s nipples.

“Hux…” Kylo whimpers, not even remotely reminding the fearless monster he was half an hour ago when he was wielding his lightsaber. “Take me already…” he is whispering, trying to reach his lips again. “How the hell are you doing this to me?! I’d never,  _ never  _ say something like that before!” he pulls Hux closer, hissing, biting his lip even harder than before, licking the forming drops of blood away.

The general gulps, this innocent, confused, yet  _ demanding _ puppy driving him mad.  _ You are mine, _ he thinks,  _ you are already hopelessly depending on me, _ but says only: “I love it, when you say such things…” before pulling away completely to kneel between his legs, moving his hand to penetrate Kylo with two fingers.

The brunette gasps and falls on his back as soon as he feels Hux’s fingers moving around his opening. “Hux!” he shouts out loudly, feeling dizzy as his head banged to the tatami on the floor hard.

The ginger can’t fight an amused chuckle. “Such a hopeless puppy,” he whispers as he bends lower to kiss and  _ mark  _ Kylo’s skin. He prepares him slowly, adding a third finger carefully, enjoying the sensation of his hot tight body, which he’ll soon devour.

Ren feels himself trembling terribly at the expectation of what’s about to come. He feels - and has felt many times - how much Hux wants this, how desperately he’s longing to definitely mark the knight as his. He himself likes the idea too, somehow deep inside, as he’s never truly belonged to anyone and the general makes him feel complete for the first time in his life.

Hux licks and sucks on his inner thigh, adding even a fourth finger to properly spread the knight, reminded almost painfully of his own arousal with every moan Kylo offers. He avoids Ren’s erection to make him last as long as he’ll be able to, pulling away after a while to look at the quivering, unstable beauty he’s turned the beast into. “Kneel,” he instructs in a low voice, eyes dark with passion.

The brunette obeys, again without a second thought, getting up clumsily, his rock hard member making it more difficult than usually. “Why…?” he moans, his voice almost unable to be heard.

Just seeing him in such a state makes the older male press his body against the knight’s, kissing him fiercely. “It will be more comfortable…” he whispers into his mouth, biting hard on Kylo’s lip, “turn around and kneel.” 

“But I wanted to watch you…” Kylo whispers. “I love how your face looks during an orgasm,” he bites him back hard, fighting for dominance at least somewhere.

Hux shivers a little, his hands mapping Ren’s well build torso. “We’ll change the position once you’ll get used to it then,” he says, not entirely against looking at Kylo’s face, knowing how helplessly delicious it looks while the general does all kinds of things to the knight. But the idea of dominating him and devouring him wild like a predator is just as much appealing. 

“Okay…” the taller one shivers, letting Hux to turn him around obediently, as if he had a collar around his neck. He looks down between his legs, seeing his whole rock hard length pulsing with blood. He suddenly realizes that he needs it, and that he needs it now, he needs Hux inside of him. “Do it!” he hisses, his voice shaking with arousal.

The general pushes him lower on his elbows, making him beautifully arch his back, making him look like he’s so desperate to offer himself it hurts - which Kylo is. He takes his hip in one hand, fingers digging painfully into Kylo’s pale skin, so Hux has full control. With his other hand he leads himself slowly into Ren, taking deep shaking breaths as he feels the tight hot body surrounding him, so he fills it all the way with a growl.

Kylo shouts out loud, trembling in pain as soon as he feels the hard flesh deep inside of him. Even though Hux’s been preparing him, nobody’s prepared him for  _ this _ . He feels like his ass is being torn apart, burning and clenching around Hux’s penis.

The ginger bends over him, kissing and biting his shoulder tenderly. He doesn’t move, waiting for Kylo to actually get used to it. “Relax…” he whispers, moving one hand to Kylo’s penis to make him concentrate on something else. It actually takes him awfully a lot of self-control, just to slow down to give the other time. If Kylo would want to back off now, Hux wouldn’t be able to.

“O… okay…” the brunette exhales, actually getting used to it quicker than he thought as he listens to the general’s advice. “I’m fine… it just… it surprised me…” he moans, feeling the drops of sweat falling from his forehead on the tatami under him.

“I’ll move now,” Hux says, not asking, just warning the knight, even though he actually waits another moment if Kylo wanted to protest. He straightens up again, caressing the knight’s back as he slowly slides out of him, just to repeat everything. 

The black haired man hisses, but instinctively moves against him without second thought. The fact Hux is filling his body is also filling his mind, making him feel marked and owned, finally belonging somewhere, belonging to  _ someone _ .

Hux bites his own lip, the view beyond beautiful. He still moans a little in a low voice, even though he tries to suppress it, shivering at the sensation. He tamed the beast completely, made it to bend to his will in every way, and he is the first one ever to do any of this all to the knight. His curse is complete and he doesn’t even care in the slightest, caught up in the moment. And he is sure, that if he got the chance to do any of it differently, he’d end up right here, because he’s starting to  _ need  _ the puppy. He longs for Kylo almost just as much in his own twisted way. He leans over again to bite Ren’s neck fiercely, changing his thrusts to more shallow and faster ones, trying to hit his prostate with every one of them.

The knight is writhing on the floor, moaning with each movement of Hux’s body. His mind is shattered and yet finally complete. His body is being torn apart, and yet being healed at the same time. As the general keeps hitting his prostate more and more quickly, his mind blackens and he releases himself before he can even realise what’s happened, the white cum splashing on the black meditation mattress, contrasting with it, almost creating a parallel of his dark mind being stained by bits of light, more and more, as the general’s influence over him grows. 

Hux lets him fall on the mattress exhausted, even though his own member is is still rock hard and painfully begging for attention. He turns Kylo over, narrowing his eyes, taking in just how gorgeous he made Ren look - spent and satisfied, his pale skin flushed and sweaty, eyes closed in bliss. “I’ve never seen such a sight,” he whispers, licking his lips, before bending over to give his lover - god, they are really  _ lovers  _ now, aren’t they? That’s just beyond wrong - a slow and sensual kiss, waiting for him to get a hold of himself before he’ll continue.

“Hux…” Kylo takes his face into his hands, continuing to kiss him passionately, his senses slowly returning. “Just don’t stop now…” he mumbles, ruffling his hair, so gently it almost  _ hurts _ .

“I’m not planning to,” the older male says, sucking hard on his lip, before moving to kneel with his back straight again, bringing Kylo closer. He spreads Ren’s legs, putting one of the knight’s knees over his own shoulder, entering him again. It’s faster this time, wilder and more instinctive, as the general is just barely keeping himself together, wanting to just give up to his need completely. He lets out a low growl again as he is fully sheathed, starting to move quickly right away, holding Ren’s hip firmly with one hand, caressing his scars with the other. 

Kylo is watching him at first, but then he’s forced to close his eyes again as another wave of pleasure strikes him. He feels his penis hardening again at ridiculous speed, hating himself how easy he is. His back is moving up and down, smearing the stains of his own cum all over the back of his training robes, finally forcing himself to open his eyes again as he feels that the general is close to finishing himself.

Hux bites his own lip hard again, looking Ren right in the eyes, while he moves one hand to work on Kylo’s erection as well. He feels like everything is somehow much more intense than ever before, but he’s not in a state to think whether it’s because of the knight’s sorcery, or it’s the creature  _ itself _ . He digs his nails hard into Ren’s flesh as he releases himself deep in the other’s body, low and raspy moan escaping his throat. 

It’s not even a few seconds until Kylo comes too, for the second time, mostly stimulated by Hux’s expression as he finishes himself deep inside of him. His mind blackens again, only to feel the wave of orgasm hitting him harder than before, if it’s even possible. As he comes to his senses again, he starts to perceive the hot liquid inside him, feeling incredibly weird and marked completely. So this is it, then. Now he fully belongs to the general. There is no turning back anymore.

Hux moves to lie next to him, breathing heavily as he tries to catch his breath and come to his senses as well at least a little. He is far more aware of how grave the situation really is, but he pushes the idea to the back of his mind, bringing the knight closer. He realises, he still has his shirt on, but in the lazy postorgasmic haze he doesn’t care about it, as he kisses  _ his knight _ tenderly.

Kylo snuggles to him immediately, embracing him tight, feeling the cum slowly dripping out of his opening. After a while his body starts to shiver again, realizing he’s getting cold as his body is calming down, but is still covered in sweat.

The ginger looks at him, wrapping Ren’s own robes around him without even thinking about it. “Let’s take a shower,” he says, not really moving, enjoying how nicely spent and tired he is. It’s different from the exhaustion he feels after coming back from the bridge in the middle of the night. “You should sleep early anyway,” he points out.

“I know,” Kylo whispers. “I’m tired already,” he admits, realizing he’s not used to this sort of exercise.

“I can see that,” Hux kisses him deeply again, slowly savouring the sensation, sucking on Ren’s lips and exploring Ren’s mouth with his tongue. It may even take several minutes, every touch tender and feeling almost magical - up to the point where it turns Hux’s stomach, making him sick. “Let’s go then,” he says as he gets up, taking off his shirt finally, just to toss it at the floor. He helps Kylo to his feet, the knight’s knees still shaking.

Kylo nods, letting the general to pull him up and to lead him into the bathroom, leaning into him, his legs still wobbly and unfocused. And his ass is feeling funny too. As they get into the bath, he pulls Hux close and embraces him again, making them unable to actually wash themselves.

The general looks at him, examining his face, caressing his head as he pushes several black locks out of his eyes. He feels sick with himself, as he realizes just how young and innocent and  _ stained _ Kylo Ren looks like this. No matter who or  _ what  _ the beast is, like this he looks like a twelve years old lost child.  _ A stray puppy _ . Hux shivers and bites his lip, because it still makes him feel good in a way. It makes it all just  _ the worst _ . And the puppy is not stray anymore and Hux has nowhere to run before himself or before any of this. “What is it, pup?” he asks.

Kylo raises an eyebrow, snorting, pulling away a bit. “What?!”

The general actually smiles a little, relieved in a way, that the moment has passed and Kylo Ren looks just a little bit more like himself again. “Nothing,” he says, shaking his head.

“Hux, did you really call me  _ pup _ ?!” the knight rolls his eyes, trying his best to suppress every memory of today’s meeting with the Supreme Leader. His stomach makes a jump as he realizes that Snoke was right in every possible way - of course he’s creating an attachment to the ginger general. He can’t help it though. He’s too head over heels now, so deep in it it hurts.

“It slipped,” Hux shrugs his shoulders a little, turning to turn the water on and to take a soap. He himself doesn’t even want to talk about it. 

Kylo rolls his eyes once again and pokes Hux’s ribs gently. “You’re an idiot,” he utters and starts to wash himself.

The general huffs, frowning at the younger one. “I don’t go around, looking like a puppy that just wants a belly rub,” he shakes his head again.

Kylo moves swiftly to the ginger’s lips, biting them bloody again. “I’m  _ not  _ a puppy, Hux!” he hisses. “You’ve seen what I can do. You’ve held my weapon. You just  _ know _ .”

“I do,” the ginger nods, “yet you remind me of a puppy,” he whispers into his lips, kissing him deeply. 

“Why?” the brunette whispers, not realizing how does he look like in reality since he can’t see himself most of the time, and definitely not in the situations Hux does.

“I don’t know…” the other sighs. “You just have a look of a kicked stray puppy in your face sometimes,” he shrugs. “But you are not stray anymore…”

After the last sentence Kylo seems content again, a tiny smile forming on his lips. “I’m not… Because now I belong with you...” he whispers, Snoke’s words echoing in his mind. _ I see a new attachment forming inside of you.  _ He shakes his head and kisses Hux again, feeling an urgent need to wash away this memory, with the help of the running water and the general’s swollen lips.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Hux, from now on and forever, his life is going to turn into a living hell. From the next chapter it will probably be angsty more than anything until the very end. (And we are already finishing one ending.)

Hux sits in his office, reading a report on Starkiller’s progress, feeling and looking like the worst nightmare. He’s never hated being around so many masks ever before. He feels everyone looking at him, examining him, and he can’t even make sure he doesn’t just imagine it. But he doubts that. If someone talked a week ago, now everyone must already know that he spends nights with Kylo Ren - which could be bearable on its own, at least a little, but when he’s forced to walk around his own ship  _ marked _ with bruises and lovebites all over his neck and with lips obviously injured by another teeth, just after night at Ren’s quarters, he feels like stepping right out of the hangar door yet again. And he doesn’t even have a mask to hide under like everyone else does.

It doesn’t take much time before the general hears loud banging on his door, not having any doubts who possibly it might be. In another few seconds Kylo Ren enters, wearing full armor again, nothing hinting the fact he has more bruises and lovebites than the ginger does. “Hux,” he utters without greeting him again. “I’m ready to leave. I’m just waiting for your troops to be dispatched.”

“It’s sad in a way, that you can take only half of them,” the older one murmurs sarcastically, looking at the mask with a frown. His pale skin only makes the bruises stand out more. “The troops that are going directly with you are ready in the hangar, as well as another two units. And as you know, there are two more units to go with captain Phasma, but they are leaving tomorrow,” he says in seemingly professional voice, just a hint of his bad mood slipping through.

“Basically you’re telling me I can go right away?” Kylo asks him, feeling that Hux is somehow in a worse mood than usually.

“You can,” Hux nods, still gazing at the mask, “will you?”

“It depends,” Kylo shrugs his shoulders.

“On what,  _ pup _ ?” the older male tilts his head to the side a little.

“On your mood, which apparently isn’t at its best today,” Kylo answers without a blink of an eye.

“It isn’t,” the ginger sigs, quite resigned as he looks around his office, getting irritated by the mask. “I look like a wild animal tried to eat me and  _ everyone can see right away _ ,” he just shakes his head again. “Take the mask off.” 

Kylo looks like he was waiting for this command for the whole time, obeying instantly. He puts the mask on the general’s table, staring at him intensely, a little crooked smile on his lips.

“Come here,” the general says, taking his gloves off, looking at the disaster Ren himself is. “It’s good you wear the mask around the ship…” he sighs again.

“Why?” Kylo asks, bending over to him, licking his lips, demanding to gain the entrance. “Let me in…” he whispers nearly seductively.

“Because  _ we _ have  _ matching bruises _ ,” the general growls, “I can’t imagine it getting worse,” he says into Ren’s lips before giving into the kiss, moving his hands to caress the knight’s face.

“Is it that bad?” Kylo mumbles, his mouth full of Hux’s lips, sucking and biting them, marking them all over again. “Do they stare at you?”

“They do,” Hux closes his eyes for a while. “And this is not helping,” he adds, not really fighting the kiss. He tugs at Kylo’s robes, not liking how tall the knight is, towering over him when Hux sits.

“You don’t seem to struggle so much,” the brunette points out. “But even if you did, I’m not planning to stop.”

“Stop what?” Hux asks, moving one hand to Kylo’s shoulder to indicate more clearly what he wants him to do.

The knight finally kneels obediently, not stopping to bite the general’s lips. “This,” he exhales.

“You are turning my life into a living hell,” the general shivers, caressing Ren’s hair, then moves one hand to run his fingertips over the sensitive skin of the knight’s neck.

Now it’s Kylo’s turn to shiver as Hux caresses his usually pale skin, which is now swollen because of the lovebites. “And yet you’re still here, kissing me,” he chuckles.

“There’s nothing I can do about it now anyway…” the older male just shakes his head. “Which reminds me, Ren,” he pulls away a little to give the other a questioning look. “Where’s my shirt?”

Kylo immediately looks away, blushing a little. “I don’t know…?” he mumbles.

Hux’s eyes widen a little at such a  _ puppy _ reaction. “I didn’t find it in the morning when I was leaving. Don’t tell me you snatched it away through the night?” 

“I didn’t…” the knight blushes even more, still not daring to look Hux into the eyes.

“Why?” the ginger asks as if he didn’t even hear what Kylo said, still tickling his skin slightly, even playing with his hair.

“It smells like you…” Ren admits unwillingly. “I like that.”

The general shivers a little at the words, examining him. “Are you… actually planning to take it with you?” he asks, narrowing his eyes as he imagines what could Ren possibly do with his clothes. 

“I do,” Kylo mumbles, terribly embarrassed. “Is it a problem?”

“No…” Hux shakes his head slowly, making the other one look at him as he bends to kiss him himself. “What do you want to do with it while you are away?” he asks.

“I don’t know…” Kylo shivers, prolonging the kiss, pushing his tongue into Hux’s mouth. “I just want to keep it with me. When I’m away… I got used to sleeping in your presence,” he sighs finally. “I’ll miss that.”

Hux must smile at the innocence in Ren’s voice. “Pup…” he says teasingly, biting Ren’s lower lip while he moves both of his hands on the other one’s neck.

“Hux, I’m not your pup,” Kylo whispers, trembling all over his body, leaning into the touches. “But I’ll miss you anyway,” he adds, not remotely realizing he’s not helping.

“What are you then?” the general asks, enjoying Ren’s reactions maybe a little too much.

“I’m the Knight of Ren,” Kylo raises an eyebrow.  _ And apparently your boyfriend _ , he thinks, feeling utterly creeped out by the fact.

“But still mine,” Hux says as he runs his hand through the black locks of Kylo’s hair. “It’s arousing… in a way…” he admits then, “you snatching my shirt to take it with you…” 

“Is it?” the brunette’s eyes widen again. “Why? Are you imagining what I’m gonna do with it or what?”

“I am…” the general nods calmly, looking him in the eyes. “When you are alone in your room on a ship far away… you’ll still think of me… I want to imagine that,” he licks his lips. “What you’ll do while remembering me…?”

“Oh fuck, Hux…” Kylo shivers as he imagines what he  _ really  _ could do with his clothes. “Are you actually asking me if I’m planning to masturbate with your shirt on?!”

“Well, yes,” the ginger looks at him as he traces Kylo’s swollen, bitten lips with his fingers. “Even though it’s actually quite hard to imagine someone as innocent as you to do such a thing…”

“I’m not as innocent as you think,” Kylo frowns. “It wouldn’t be my first time to do that, if that’s what you think.”

“Good,” the general bends again to kiss him, “it would actually be strange, if you’ve never tried it before…” he admits, frowning a little at the idea. But he actually wanted to ask the knight several times, as he doubted even the fact that Ren’s ever touched himself. “I’d like to see it…” he whispers into his lips.

“Would you?” Kylo purrs into his ear. “Then perhaps if you call me while I’m away, I could  _ show  _ you,” he keeps whispering seductively.

The redhead closes his eyes for a while, imagining it, thinking about the offer. “That’s something we cannot do, you know…” he answers then. “Someone could find out…” he moves to lick and bite Ren’s neck, enjoying his smell. He’s actually glad at the moment, that he answers only to the Supreme Leader Snoke, as he is quite sure, was he anything less than he is, his life on Finalizer would be close to hell. 

“Your choice,” Kylo shrugs his shoulders. “Then you probably won’t see it at all…” he smirks, examining the ginger’s reaction.

Hux looks at him with interest. “Are you too embarrassed to show me something like that normally?” he raises an eyebrow.

“No, why should I be?” the knight snorts. “I just prefer your touches when you’re with me, that’s all.”

“I still would like to look at you while you’re doing it…” the older one says, moving his hand to play with Kylo’s lips with his fingers.

“Well…” Kylo bites Hux’s fingertip gently, “I’m sure we’ll get to some sort of...  _ agreement _ ,” he sucks the finger in.

“Certainly…” the general nods, adding another finger to play with Ren’s tongue, his hot wet mouth as enjoyable as ever. For several times already he wanted to tell the knight to go, since there are troops waiting for him, but the words somehow got always stuck in his throat..

Kylo accepts the fingers willingly, sucking them eagerly in. “I like your long fingers, General…” he smiles at him. “I imagine it must be easy to play the piano with them.”

“It’s not easy…” Hux sighs, “and I don’t have time to practice at all,” he adds, looking somehow like he actually regrets it.

The knight examines his expression thoroughly. “You really like the instrument, don’t you?” he asks him after a while, caressing his cheek.

“Hmm…” the ginger murmurs in agreement, “I wouldn’t risk having it here, but…” he says, even though there’s actually no other place for him to have it, as there is no other place for him to  _ be  _ except the Finalizer or the Starkiller. He has no home other than the First Order and he isn’t complaining.

“And where else would you have it?” Kylo snorts silently as if he knew exactly what the ginger’s thinking about. “Don’t tell me you have a family, Hux.”

“My father’s actually still alive,” the general points out in an unreadable voice, “but no, I don’t have a family or home to go back to, or any sentimental fairy tale like that,” he tells the puppy, looking at his face. “But I still would like to leave the piano at a safer place somewhere…” he admits.

Kylo keeps watching him for a while in silence, only licking and sucking his fingertips. “I understand, I guess…” he sighs, remotely remembering how it felt to be fond of some of his possessions. “But if you want to practice, you can do it even with me around. I liked it,” he smiles at him reassuringly.

“Fine…” Hux caresses Ren’s cheek lightly with his free hand, tracing the moles on Kylo’s skin. “You wanted to leave in the morning,” he points out, his voice just barely hearable whisper.

“I know…” Kylo whispers back unwillingly. “I guess I should go…” he exhales and hides his face in Hux’s chest again, his actions contradicting his words.

“You should,” Hux agrees, caressing his hair. “You are behaving like a puppy again,” he points out.

“Go to hell, Hux,” the brunette mumbles against his chest, nuzzling it with his nose. “I wish you’d say something nice to me before I leave, not this,” he sounds like a kicked puppy more than ever, falling deeper and deeper into this  _ relationship _ , or whatever it is.

The general chuckles with amusement. “Are we now the kind of people who say nice things to each other?” he asks before moving to take his chin, so the younger one would look at him. “I’ll probably miss you too, pup,” he whispers while still teasing the knight, leaning to kiss him deeply. It’s hard for him to admit something like that even to himself.

“Ah…” Kylo blushes, completely taken aback. “I didn’t expect this from you,” he kisses him back, slowly standing up.

“I didn’t expect it as well,” Hux says in flat voice pulling the chair back.

Kylo chuckles, standing up properly, ruffling the general’s hair, making them all spiky and messy, not reminding his ordinary neat hairstyle at all.

Hux frowns at him, shaking his head, “of course,” he huffs, “you won't be staying here and  _ without _ a creepy mask.”

“Come on, Hux,” Ren rolls his eyes. “You look better like this anyway.”

“No,” Hux shakes his head, standing to move to a small basin in the corner of his office, “and it’s a norm to have your uniform neat and clean and hair trimmed,” he adds, “and it applies to  _ all  _ the Finalizer’s crew,” he sighs.

“I know,” Ren frowns. “But still, you look better with your hair a bit more spiky. Even though it doesn’t look like the cold proper general anymore,” he moves to the ginger too, ruffling his hair a bit more.

“Don’t do it, Ren,” Hux turns to him, frowning. “You are terrible…” he sighs, examining the knight’s own messy hair and swollen lips.

“You’re the one to tell,” Kylo kisses him, slowly pushing him against the wall. “Just look at yourself,  _ General _ .”

“I’ve told you already, I got myself a disastrous puppy…” the older male answers, “It makes a mess of everything it touches…” he pushes the knight away a little, remembering that Ren was actually already leaving.

Kylo presses him against the wall more firmly than before, not wanting to be pushed away again. He stretches himself, so he could kiss the ginger, but he quickly retreats as he hears a voice coming through the communicator on the door of Hux’s office.

“God,” the general hisses, obviously irritated and a little startled by the sound. He moves to the door to answer, trying to fix his hair, frowning terribly. “Yes, Captain,” he answers, since he recognised the voice, knowing that this is the worst case scenario possible. Phasma actually dares to talk to him more than anyone else, sometimes even stating her own opinion. And anyone else’s opinion on himself is not something Hux would be eager to hear now.  _ The mask _ , he mouths at Ren.

The knight nods and puts it on in seconds, really glad to have it since he’s still blushing terribly. He stands by the wall, waiting for Hux to let Phasma in.

The ginger does so, his face just as cold and stoic as ever, even though the bruises are still there. An not only the bruises, his hair is not as perfect as ever and his lips are still swollen. He feels like running away, surrounded by all of these masked monsters. He fights the nervous feeling.

“General,” Phasma nods, entering his office. “Sir,” she greets even Ren, her voice sounding dangerously amused. 

Hux looks at Ren, wondering whether he’s actually planning just to stand there and to make everything worse. “What do you need, Captain?” he asks, trying really hard to maintain calm face as he looks at the women again.

“I came to tell you that my troops returned sooner than we expected them to. I could leave with Kylo Ren immediately,” she keeps looking at them both, examining them, almost as if she knew what they were doing before she came.

“Good,” Hux forces himself so say, moving behind his desk again. “Well, if you are ready, I see no reason for you to remain here longer than necessary,” he answers, trying hard to look at neither of them. “Ren?” he looks at the puppy in the end, trying to make him react at least  _ somehow _ . He remembers the shirt Kylo is actually taking with him and he has to look away again, suppressing a blush.

“Yes, General?” the knight answers, noticing Hux’s struggles, but doing his best not to show anything.  _ God _ , he thinks.  _ Hux is just terribly cute like this _ . The brunette gulps and suppresses the urge to take off his mask again and start kissing him for so long until they’re both breathless.

“Well, you command the troops now,” Hux tries to lead him to actually say something…  _ clever _ . He feels Phasma’s stare even through her helmet and the knight’s not helping to make the situation better at all.

“Very well. Follow me then, Captain, I am ready for departure. I only came to let the general know we’re leaving,” Kylo states, moving to the door, before he turns to face Hux one last time. “Is it all, General?”

“It is,” the ginger nods. “Do you need anything else, Captain?” he looks at Phasma, quite desperate for both of them to leave, but not showing it.

“Actually, I do, sir. I need to discuss something with you in private,” she answers, looking at Ren, trying to make him leave.

_ Here it comes _ , Hux thinks,  _ her opinion _ . There’s nothing she could possibly want to discuss, except the state Hux’s in.

Kylo throws a deadly glare at Phasma - which looks like every other of his glares thanks to the mask - and snorts. “Shall I wait outside, then? Or can I just go and the  _ captain  _ will join me later?!” he is staring at her with disgust.

Hux takes a deep breath. The puppy is actually  _ jealous  _ now. He fights the poisonous remark, as he is sure that under the mask Phasma is silently laughing at him. The situation is just ridiculous and there’s no good ending to it. “Go, Ren,” he says in steady voice, still trying to maintain the last pieces of his dignity, hoping the beast won't break anything. Hux’ll just have to calm it later. Only the idea makes him somehow nauseous - what has he done to deserve all this? Jealous Ren. Sure, that’s exactly what he wants to deal with.

“Very well.” The knight turns around as quickly as he can, marching away, leaving Hux’s office abruptly. It’s clearly visible from his walk that he’s pissed off and therefore incredibly dangerous.

Hux takes another deep, tired and quite desperate breath. “What is it, Captain?” he asks Phasma again, blaming everything on her.

“Sir,” the woman takes her mask off, revealing a worried expression on her face, which is definitely not a good omen. “I need to talk to you about Kylo Ren.”

Hux looks at her wide-eyed, actually taken awfully aback by her behaviour, as she usually doesn’t take the mask off right away, nor she talks to him in such tone with such a  _ familiarity _ . “Don’t…” he just shakes his head, closing his eyes to rub his forehead. “If it’s that bad, just don’t…”

“Sir, I apologise for my behavior, but I’m afraid I cannot listen to you this time. I am… worried about you,” she watches him, looking worried even more than before. “Ever since you’ve started to… see Kylo Ren on daily basis, you look worse and worse. The troops are talking, sir. I wanted you to know that. You should be more careful. The knight is poisonous and he has a bad influence over you. Over everybody he spends time with.”

“I know that they are talking…” Hux sighs. “But there is nothing to talk about, Captain,” he tries to say, sounding rather pitiful even to himself. “What do you even know about spending time with the disease?” he ask, frowning, “I’ve never seen anyone spending time with Ren.”

“And yet, somehow you do… don’t you?” Phasma sighs.

Hux looks at her, for a while. “I do, don’t I?” he shakes his head, standing up again. “This is a disaster, I’m more aware than anyone else… are we really talking about this, Phasma?” he gives her quite the look. “We are not friends. We  _ do not _ have friends, Captain,” he takes another deep breath. “What are you trying to achieve by this conversation?”

“We may not be friends, but this is a friendly advice from a person who finds you more than capable and who admires you. Don’t let yourself be destroyed by that man, sir. I don’t know of anyone better than you to take your place - and since I’ve promised my life to the First Order, even I want the best for it. You  _ are  _ the best. And yet you let the creature poison your mind. I might be a soldier, but I’m still also a woman. I can see what the others are not able to. Stay away from Kylo Ren, sir, for your sake and for everybody else’s.”

At her remark, Hux remembers the way Kylo Ren smells, then he feels an urgent need to kill himself, because  _ he actually knows and remembers _ how the cancerous disaster smells, probably way more girly than Phasma ever  _ could _ . He closes his eyes, not able to look into her face. “I’d love to, you know…” he gulps desperately.

“Sir…?” Phasma stares at him, completely shocked. She expected Hux to shout at her, to throw her out of his office with a detention, she expected everything, but not  _ this _ .

“Leave,” he says quietly, realising what he has just shown to her, still not looking at her, but in a voice more steady than before.

“Of course, sir. But please… Be careful.” Phasma takes her mask into her hands, still watching him. The general looks beaten indeed.

“I’m as careful as I can be with the disease…” he says as he finally looks at her, maintaining his usual cold gaze. “You too,” he adds then, “I’m afraid he’s going to be dangerous after such a theatrical leaving…” 

“I am quite aware of that, sir,” the woman nods, putting her mask finally on again. “Is there anything else?”

He looks at the mask with a raised eyebrow, yet again not seeing her face. “Don’t let him pointlessly hurt anyone of ours… or himself,” he sighs. “The Supreme Leader Snoke wouldn't be pleased.”

“I will look after him,” the captain nods, slightly smiling under her mask as she realizes that Hux really cares about Ren. Who knows, it could actually help with taming the beast. Only time will tell whether it’s true.

“Leave already, Phasma…” he waves his hand impatiently, actually wondering whether Ren has already left the Finalizer.

“Yes, sir,” the woman salutes him and leaves his office, heading to the hangar.

 

Meanwhile Kylo Ren arrives to the hangar himself, managing to destroy the elevator he was in, only because he was angry and the thing moved too damn slow. He also nearly killed one poor stormtrooper because he dared to look at his tantrum, leaving him lying unconscious on the floor as he threw him through the nearest door. Without any word he boarded his ship, leaving before someone could actually tell Hux what’s happened.

Of course, the general finds out very soon, calling the walking cancer right away. As Kylo finally accepts the call, he sees the ginger with bloody lips and a really nasty expression on his face.

This is actually the first time Hux has ever called Ren. He’s never felt any need or had any reason for it, but as he believes it’s for the good of the whole crew on Ren’s ship, he overcomes the distaste to do it. “Where are you?” he asks right away.

“On my ship,” Ren answers, his mask on as usually. “Why are you calling me anyway? Not busy anymore since Phasma left?!”

Hux blinks at him, just utterly fascinated and taken aback by such a wild reaction. “God…” he shakes his head, “you…” he can’t even find a proper word. “You plague… you’ll take responsibility for your actions once you’re back… did you actually throw a  _ jealous  _ tantrum?” he wanted to make sure Kylo’s alone, but after what the knight said, it doesn’t matter anymore. “Why would you be jealous of her?” 

“I was with you,” Ren barks at him. “And she made me leave,” he snorts, sounding hurt even though the thing on his head.

“Are you crying, Ren?” Hux utters. “The mask makes you sound like you are crying, God, I hope you aren’t…” he shakes his head. “She came to discuss her orders as she is my subordinate.”

“I’m not crying,” Kylo answers immediately, offended by the question as Hux isn’t actually far from truth. The knight was properly shaken himself how much attached be became.

“Take it off then,” Hux sighs. “What made you so pissed off anyway?”

“I don’t know,” he admits truthfully, not even thinking about it. He takes the mask off as Hux instructs him, revealing his glistening eyes.

_ Hopeless. Pitiful. Pathetic. _ Hux thinks better of saying any of these out loud in Kylo’s current state. “Good. Forget about it, whatever it was. And don’t break anything on the ship or hurt anyone…” he frowns at the puppy.

“So you’re calling me only… why exactly?” Kylo whispers, the image of the ginger’s soft and destroyed lips flooding his mind.

“To make sure your ship’s actually still flying,” the general exhales tiredly. “I’ll get back to my duties, if you are all right…”

“Are you worried about me?” Kylo finally asks, realising that might be the true reason Hux’s calling him.

“Among other things…” the general sighs resignedly. “You actually almost killed a trooper even before leaving. How am I supposed to let you have my troops without worrying about everything?”

“You don’t have to,” Kylo answers, his lower lip slightly shaking. “I’ve promised not to harm them.  _ Much _ ,” he adds.

“Fine,” Hux sighs deeply again. “Why do you look like crying again?” he asks.

“Perhaps I just look like it all the time, even if I’m not crying,” Kylo utters, not exactly sure what to tell, not knowing himself whether he wants to cry or not. “Or perhaps you’re just imagining things.”

“Fine,” the general says yet again. “It’s true that it’s very close to the puppy face… Well, don’t cry, don’t get jealous, don't be aggressively lonely,” he’s pretty sure Ren is capable of such a thing. “I’ll be ending now.”

“Whatever,” Kylo snaps. “Do you think I can’t be without you even for a couple of minutes?! You are  _ wrong _ , Hux.”

“That’s reassuring,” the ginger nods slightly, before giving the puppy last look, “well,” he says to mark his end of a call, as he turns the communicator off.

Kylo feels pissed off again, angry at the entire world. He’s pissed off that Hux ended the call like this, he’s pissed off that he called in the first place, he’s pissed off because of Phasma and more importantly, he’s pissed off just because he’s pissed off. He lays down on his bed abruptly, thinking about what Hux has just said, trying to ventilate his anger in a different way than by breaking things - for the first time in forever.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while again, sorry...  
> We finally got to the time of the movie. They are disastrous for each other...

Hux is sitting in his office, reading the same line of a report six times in a row before putting it away with a deep sigh. He still looks kind of tired, even though he has slept more than in the last two weeks since having the flu. Yet again, he has thought a lot about all of this madness - about what he has done, about what Phasma said to him… am mostly about the time Snoke actually called him to talk to him four days after Kylo Ren left the Finalizer.

He felt like a fucking teenager, back all the way to the times at the academy, being  _ scolded _ for screwing with underclassmen. Except this time it was far, far worse - everything about it. Remembering Kylo, realising that he actually likes remembering what he did to the beast, listening to Snoke’s cracking and awfully old voice full of  _ how dare you _ and  _ responsibilities _ . And the  _ shame _ . 

The shame still hasn’t left him, it haunts him with every step, even though his lips are already healed and the alcohol in his cupboard is already all half drunk.

But he is trying hard and making sure everyone knows that he is the general they love and  _ need _ . He is cold and deadly again, neat, clean and perfect. And not distracted at all.

He keeps avoiding walking anywhere near Kylo Ren’s quarters and he goes to bed right after a shot of rum and two or three cigarettes. He sleeps in clean sheets in his cold quarters without pointlessly long, pointy and freaking  _ hot _ body all around him and it’s wonderful. It’s cold and perfect, just the way it’s supposed to be.

Hux frowns as he hears the sound of his communicator, taking it out to look at who would actually need something. As he reads the name, he growls internally, shaking his head and setting the device aside. The monster has never called him before, even when he killed his whole ship’s crew himself; so he’ll have to make do on his own somehow even now. Besides, he has Phasma to keep an eye on him now.

The sound keeps bothering him, but the general only shakes his head again, trying his best to ignore it, not to let himself be  _ seduced _ . He keeps pushing the idea of a poisonous horror in the general’s own shirt - and nothing else - to the back of his mind, as he gets up to move to look at himself in the mirror above the small basin in his office. What he sees is a disgrace. An utter mess, a  lawless disorder, a sickening chaos and a complete disaster. It’s disgusting.

He just wishes the beast would never come back again, when he goes back to pick the call up after another several minutes, as it keeps loudly bothering him.

“Hux,” the mechanical voice of Ren’s mask says coldly. “What took you so long? Are you avoiding me?!” the knight continues, not letting his bad mood be revealed so easily since he’s now sitting on the bridge with another several officers.

“No, haven’t I told you several times already, I have a lot of duties, Ren?” the general frowns. “What do you need?”

Kylo is looking at him for a few seconds, trying to reveal what’s under the cold mask of the ginger male. He himself is frustrated already, missing his presence terribly. He has realized over the weeks he’s been alone that he can’t sleep properly without him, in his absence always dreaming about all the possible scenarios of how their future might look like - and one is worse than another. As he sees Hux being as cold as ever - perhaps even colder - his mood deteriorates in a second, hating him and even hating himself. What did he expect? That the general would act differently? That perhaps… he would act the same way he does when they are sleeping together? Ren feels butterflies in his stomach, closing his eyes to get rid of the annoying feeling before finally answering him. “I know where the map is,” he informs him finally.

Hux blinks. “Good,” he nods, not sure whether he is actually more surprised by the fact Ren has managed to accomplish what he wanted, or his need to report it back right away just as the obedient dog he has become. “Then you should return at once,” he adds, not really thinking about it. He’d need several more  _ years  _ to get completely rid off all the thoughts he has about Ren even without meeting him. He doesn’t want to see the cancerous monster. Yet again Hux tries not to think about the shirt.

“Why do you want me to return?” Kylo asks him. “That makes no sense. I  _ know  _ where the map is and I’m planning to take it.”

“Take it and return,” Hux nods, realizing his misstep, wanting to die. Just terribly wanting to die.

“Good. You don’t even wanna know about its location? What’s happened to you,  _ General _ ?” the knight chuckles derisively, feeling that Hux is done just as himself.

“I have no need of such information, if you are already heading there to fulfill your duty,” Hux answers in a steady voice. “I’ll need it if you fail and if I have to clean up your mess,” he frowns a little again. “Do you expect yourself to fail? You wouldn’t call me otherwise, you’ve never called me to report to me before,” he points out. Like a little child, if he has to feel like shit, at least he doesn’t want to be the only one. It’s the worst.

“I don’t. The map is on Jakku, in hands of Lor San Tekka, a human who is sympathizing with the Resistance. He is old and foolish. There is no possibility of a failure,” Kylo says, starting to sound more and more grumpy with each of his words as he hears Hux’s mocking voice.

“Good,” the ginger nods. You should finish as soon as possible,” he says, “the Supreme Leader talked to me,” he adds, as if it explained anything.

“So what? I don’t care about your Starkiller business,” Ren snaps. 

Hux takes a deep breath. “I believe he would like to have  _ you  _ under his surveillance as soon as possible,” his voice is a little bitter.

“I’ll return as soon as I retrieve the map,” the knight raises his voice, now very clearly pissed off again. “If he wants to keep an eye on me, he shouldn’t have sent me on this mission in the first place.”

There’s nothing Hux can say to that, so he just nods. “Is that all?” he asks.

“It is. And now, please be so kind and let me fulfill my duties,” Ren sounds dangerous again and ends the call before Hux can say anything.

 

Hux calls Ren again. He doesn’t really want to do anything like that, so he keeps struggling with himself the whole day, blaming the need to do it on the fear of Kylo Ren killing his troops again. But in the end he calls anyway and feels bad about it all the same.

Since it’s a late evening when Hux calls, Kylo wears only his pajamas pants and nothing more. He looks carefully before accepting the call - not wanting anyone to see him like this - and he hesitates for a moment as he sees Hux’s name on the screen. Then he finally sighs and pushes the button.

“Yes? What do you want now, Hux?” he raises an eyebrow. He’s in no mood for talking to the general since he wanted to go to bed, tired and sleepy. Because of the nightmares, he hasn’t slept properly for the whole time he’s away and he has big bags under his eyes, not realizing it himself since he wears his mask on the ship almost all the time.

The general finds out that it is actually somehow harder for him to insult the puppy face compared to the monster mask and he fights the need to tell Ren to put it on. “I hope you haven’t killed anyone…” he says while examining him.

“I haven’t,” Kylo answers, sounding tired. “Is that why you’re calling?”

Hux just sighs. “Did you actually get, what I was trying to tell you before?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ren answers truthfully. “Is there any point to this?! I was planning to go to bed.”

“Ren,” the older male says in a steady voice, as if trying to calm the other as well. “Supreme Leader Snoke threatened me for interfering with your training. He wants you back as soon as possible to be able to make sure you are doing just what you are supposed to do,” he explains even for the lost puppy to understand. He feels ashamed just by saying such things out loud.

Ren’s eyes widen as he hears Hux’s words. So the Supreme Leader knows. Of course he knows. “What exactly did he tell you?” he asks, not remotely realizing how uncomfortable this topic for the general is.

“To stop,” Hux answers, flat.

“Will you?” Kylo raises an eyebrow.

“Do I have a choice?” the general tilts his head to a side, his words not really sounding like a question. Of course he will. He keeps telling himself that and in the walking headache’s absence it’s quite easy.

“Do you want to stop?” the knight asks, not knowing why exactly he’s asking himself. 

“It’s not about what I want, Ren,” Hux shakes his head. He wouldn’t really say it. Whether his answer would be yes or no.

“Perhaps. But I still want to know.”

Hux examines the blue crackling face he sees through his communicator. The big puppy eyes that look like crying again. He doesn’t even need to ask Kylo to know the knight’s answer. “I don’t know…” he whispers in the end.

“Well, then,” Kylo answers at last. “We shall end it then.” He sounds like something got stuck in his throat, not able to help it, but realizing more than well that it’s for the best. He can’t allow himself to let the attachment grow and neither can Hux.

“God, there shouldn’t even be anything to end in the first place,” the general looks at him as he takes in the tone of Ren’s voice, the way he looks, everything. “This is so fucking wrong, Ren,” he closes his eyes for a while.

“It is,” Kylo answers at last, his voice emotionless as well as his face. “It was from the beginning.”

“Well, good night, Ren,” the general looks at him, prepared to end the call.

“Good night, Hux,” he answers automatically. “You should go to sleep as well. You look like shit.”

Hux actually feels something  _ move _ in his chest and he doesn’t believe it, so he ignores it like he should. “Go to hell,” he utters before turning the communicator off.  _ And never come back _ .

Kylo keeps staring at the communicating device for a while, not quite getting yet what’s just happened. Did they really manage to end their… no, not relationship, it never was a relationship. They ended whatever it was and it’s finally over. The knight feels relieved, exhaling deeply, getting up, only to find out his knees are shaking. This is so wrong. He shouldn’t feel like this. Snoke was right to make them end it, after all. He’s getting weak and from what he saw, Hux is getting weak too. He lays on his clean sheets, staring into the wall, instinctively taking Hux’s shirt - which he kept in his bed for the whole time since he’s away - and snuggles to it as close as he can, breathing it in. Even though this is so wrong too, the familiar scent is still soothing him and he’s not able to help himself. After some time - which seems like an eternity to him - he finally falls asleep with the shirt in his hands.

 

Hux doesn’t even see the disastrous horror, when he arrives - without the map, of course. All the things that shouldn’t have been in the first place are forgotten, as if nothing like that ever happened. The general is sure about that. He doesn’t need to tell himself something like that - there’s just nothing. The only emotions he feels - except for the hate, of course the hate is always there - are surprise, more at himself that he could ever believe that Kylo Ren would ever be capable of fulfilling his duties, and disappointment. Terrible disappointment. There’s no watchdog, no  _ puppy _ , just an incompetent beast.  _ Stray _ beast, so lost and  _ unfit, _ it wouldn’t even find a way to its quarters. Even Hux doesn’t even know where the monster dwells anymore, as he has no need for such an information. 

As the ginger goes to take a look at the prisoner Ren took in, he seems just like the cold and composed leader he is, looking so dangerous that people would even expect the air around him to drop several degrees lower. He’s perfect, no cancerous disease to haunt him.

Several hours later even Kylo Ren returns from the prisoner, whom he went to interrogate a few minutes ago. As soon as he has the information about the location of the map, he leaves the cell, to his surprise meeting with Hux right in front of it. Now he has the chance to make him realize how incompetent the general himself is, that he's even unable to interrogate someone, even though he has some different and maybe even far more dangerous means of deadly interrogation techniques than Ren as a Force sensitive does. As soon as Kylo sees Hux, he starts to sound contemptuous and hateful, only announcing that the map is in the droid and that he's leaving the rest to him. Then he marches back to the bridge, not even looking at the general, even though he can smell his scent thanks to the mask. It's disturbing and Kylo hates it, now more than ever.

Even through the helmet, Kylo Ren still sounds to Hux like he’s about to cry any minute. It’s disgusting - even more so that the general now sees in his mind the  _ puppy eyes  _ to accompany the voice. He just shakes his head before going back to his own office to make preparations for the search of the droid.

Kylo rides the elevator, thinking about the droid, when it suddenly stops before reaching the bridge. He finds Hux standing in front of the door, wanting to go to the bridge too. Kylo doesn't say a word, he doesn't even look at him - he's trying to ignore the general completely.  

Hux is too proud - and too busy, of course - to let this one pass and actually wait, but he thinks about it for a second before he gets in. He sighs heavily, not even realising he did such a thing. He still looks quite tired when examined up close, but he walks straight and looks right in front of himself.

Ren is examining him carefully, trying to find out what the general is thinking about. It's no good. There's no way for him to find out without Hux feeling that someone is trying to get inside of his head. And then there's still the  _ scent _ . The intense scent reminding Kylo of the ginger’s aroused body. It's making him sick.

“Stop looking at me, Ren,” Hux frowns but still doesn’t look at the other. He can tell, of course, even through the damned thing on his head. He feels the brown eyes examining him, almost with  _ care _ . Disgusting. Or maybe, it’s all just a guess.

“I can look wherever I want,” the knight utters. “Besides, I don't have a need to look at someone who's clearly falling apart. You look even more pathetic than you really are, Hux.”

“I have you figured out, Ren,” it sounds somehow given up, as if the general didn’t even consider it worth it to talk to this abomination. “How am I  _ falling apart _ , as you put it?”

“Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? Or did you break it again?” Kylo chuckles derisively.

“”Don’t do your stupid sorcery thing on me,” Hux remembers the sickening feeling of another person in his head, the sensation of the sword in his hand after such a long time and he fights the need to look at the monstrum, at the lightsaber hanging at its waist.

“Don't worry about it,” the knight hisses. “I'm not planning to do such a thing anymore. But it’s a shame you don't have the ability as well, since you're not even able to interrogate ordinary Resistance creep.”

“Yet I’m more than capable of handling you, isn’t it a mystery?” Hux spits as he flashes him a terrible glare, before the door finally slides open and he can step out.

“Don’t,” the brunette grabs his throat, pushing him against the elevator wall. “Perhaps you bit more than you can chew,  _ General _ . Don't you  _ think _ I'd listen to you!”

Hux tries not to struggle as his breathing is getting harder and harder. He takes Ren’s hand, gripping it tightly, and he feels something terribly uncomfortable struggle within his chest. He feels it die and it’s a good thing. “You have  _ no will of your own _ , Ren,” he hisses, “get the fuck away from me!”

“Do you think I have no will? I certainly have a lot of will to kill you, General. And I'm looking forward to the day I will finally be allowed to do so. If you weren't under the Supreme Leader’s protection, you would be long dead,” Kylo is squeezing Hux’s throat more and more, trembling with excitement, wanting to hurt him as much as possible, to torture him for everything he’s done to him. 

The ginger digs his nails into the knight’s wrists, now really struggling to breathe. “You are lost on your own. You wouldn’t achieve anything!” he still manages to gasp, trying to ignore all the people that must already see them through the elevator’s open door. “You have no idea how much I hate you!”

“Oh, I  _ do _ , General. I can  _ feel _ your anger,” he hisses just inches from his face, squeezing so much that Hux is unable to breathe or to speak at all. 

The general feels himself losing consciousness, and he hates himself for thinking in such a moment, that under the monster mask, Kylo Ren’s eyes are surely glossy and about to cry.

And then, as the knight feels that Hux is really about to black out, he lets him go, letting him fall on the floor of the elevator, heading to take his position on the bridge without even turning around, or looking at the scared personnel around him. 

Hux gets up slowly, coughing. He tries to fight the shame and envy and  _ hate _ , but his icy eyes burn so fiercely that people don’t even dare to look at him, fearing him just as much as they fear Kylo. 

“Get me Phasma!” he barks at the closest crew member, realising he won’t be able to talk to Ren. But he needs the details of the mission to be able to send someone to search for the damned droid.

The woman comes almost immediately, running to him as soon as she hears him, waiting for him on the bridge the whole time. “Sir!” she shouts, pulling him up, holding him tight since Hux looks like falling any second again.

“Don’t do this,” the general frowns, trying to get away from her, feeling like failure yet again. “I want your details on the last mission,” he says as he finally manages to stand on his own, going to his office again.

“Of course, sir,” Phasma nods, following him and keeping an eye on him if he collapsed again. As she’s passing Kylo Ren, she is watching them intensely, very clear even with the mask on that he’s angry and mad. 

As the door to Hux’s office slides shut behind them, Hux moves to the basin, examining his neck in the mirror.

“Are you alright, sir?” Phasma sighs. “You know I've told you to stay away from him. He is a disease… And a very dangerous one.”

“Don’t even start…” the general shakes his head tiredly. “And I’m staying away,” he assures her, “but this conversation is not why you are here.”

“It is not, sir. Here is the report,” the captain hands him the datapad. “Is there anything else you need?”

“I want to hear it from you,” he says, looking at the report doubtfully. “Your own opinion on the Resistance, on the mission itself and its success and on Ren,” he sighs. He really means it only professionally, but he himself is aware that he must have been responsible for everything abnormal the knight has done.

“The Resistance surprised us, sir. We didn’t expect any revolt. Even though Lor San Tekka was killed by Kylo Ren, he managed to give the map to the Resistance pilot we are keeping hostage. He hid the map somewhere. I am sure Ren knows where.”

Hux looks at her, but through her helmet he cannot really tell what she is thinking. “I already know all that…” he says. “Nothing out of ordinary happened the whole time?”

“Do you mean something concerning Ren?” Phasma finally understands what Hux means.

The ginger sighs again, moving to sit on his chair. His neck hurts and there are terrible bruises forming. “Yes,” he nods. “Did he kill anyone from ours?”

Phasma seems to be considering something for a while. “Yes, sir…” she says at last. “Ren did kill one stormtrooper who entered his quarters without his permission. The trooper was looking for him,” the woman sighs, “and from what I’ve heard, Ren was very… upset about the trooper seeing his… personal possessions.”

“Well,” the general tries really hard not to let is show that he knows what the possession was. The shirt, without a doubt. “I’d like to say I’ll talk to him, but this was much better than the last time and… really, who would go to the monster’s quarters without permission?” He may have done it too, but under quite different circumstances. “Anything else?”

“No, not at all, sir,” Phasma answers. “Actually… I don’t know what you have done, but Ren was… not as insufferable as ever. Thank you. I’m sorry you ended up like this.”

“I didn’t do anything…” it’s a lie. They both know it but Hux still tries to keep his face. “And I doubt he will remain like that,” he adds, just a warning. “For reasons I’d rather not name - except that he is an incompetent child who failed yet again and will be probably grumpy about it - I’m quite sure you can expect him to be even worse than before. Be careful around him…”

“I understand,” the captain is watching him intensely, almost as if she knew exactly what’s going on. Or at least Hux thinks so, since she still has her mask on and he can’t quite tell what’s going on under it. “I will be careful then. And I will warn my troops as well. Can I leave now, sir?”

“You can,” he nods again, watching her leave with a tired expression.

“Yes, sir,” Phasma salutes him and leaves his office.

 

Hux marches through the hallways towards Kylo Ren’s quarters yet again, even though he really believed that he would never visit the place again. But the beast is wild and as a commander of the whole Finalizer he can’t let him throw tantrums as he pleases. The general goes right in, looking for the masked horror without a hint of fear, even though he has quite some reason to fear the monster. “Ren,” he hisses once he finds him.

“What do you want?!” the knight answers, not even turning around, sitting on his meditation mattress in the training room, looking like he was talking to the mask of his grandfather before Hux came. He himself is fully dressed in his armor and his mask, not revealing a single hint of how he looks or what he feels.

“How many times am I supposed to tell you not to break my ship?” the familiarity of the place is so uncomfortable it’s almost suffocating him.

“You can tell me how many times you want,” Kylo’s mechanical voice sounding dangerous, “I’ve already told you I’m not planning to obey you. I’m not one of your troopers, Hux.” There are few seconds of silence. “Was today not enough for you?! I swear if you enter my quarters without my permission once again, I’ll break your neck.”

“I believe the Supreme Leader already  _ scolded _ you once for such a behavior,” the general reminds him, completely ignoring Ren’s remark about breaking his neck.

“So what? It still gives you no right to command me. Do not  _ try  _ me,  _ General _ ,” Kylo finally stands up, staring at Hux with hatred. “Do not try raising your voice  _ ever  _ again when speaking to me!”

“I’m not raising my voice,” the older one reminds him, examining him, realizing just how much he got to know the beast through all the time, not just the last week before Ren went on a mission. Realizing how well he can read him even without the puppy eyes to look at him. “You are the only one raising your voice.” Hux sees the anger, the unstable mind, the bad mood Ren’s in, yet he still feels daring.

“So what?” the knight barks, turning on his lightsaber almost immediately after he hears Hux’s words, shoving it right into his face, just a few inches from the general’s perfect skin, pointing it right against his throat.

Hux suppresses a tremble going through his body. He is not afraid of the beast. Not of this one - this  _ failure _ . “Could you really do it?”

“Do you doubt it?!” Ren hisses, moving the blade as close as possible, sure that its heat must be burning Hux’s skin.

“Wouldn’t you have already done it?” Hux raises one eyebrow, trying really hard not to jerk away. Of course something like this would happen. That’s exactly why he didn’t want to come.

“You know I can’t,” the knight utters hatefully. “Not yet. I would do it without a blink of an eye,” he spits out. “But even though I can’t kill you, I can still  _ hurt  _ you, Hux. And trust me, lightsaber injury is not the ordinary kind you’re used to. I guarantee that.”

This time, Hux can’t suppress the tremble and he takes a step back. He hates himself for backing off. “I didn’t come here to do this,” he frowns, shaking his head. “Just stop destroying the ship.”

Kylo can’t suppress the amused cruel chuckle as he sees Hux backing off. “You didn’t have to bother to come personally. From some strange reason, you  _ wanted  _ to come here, didn’t you? I can sense it. You did want to... Whatever. Just leave and never come into my quarters again or I’ll cut your hand off. The Supreme Leader was talking only about keeping you alive, not about keeping you  _ whole _ .”

“I wanted to spare the life of anyone else I’d have to send and you’d kill,” the general answers, his voice even and cold. “You are a disease,” he spits quietly, turning to leave through the knight's bedroom, just as he came.

Kylo turns off the lightsaber, pulling Hux close again without moving an inch, and again - choking him, grasping his neck with his strong gloved hand. “You’re the one to tell,” he spits out, the hatred nearly dropping off the mask.

Hux grips his hand again, grimacing in pain, but he doesn’t say a word. He can’t find a fitting answer, his head full of what he just saw, as he finally dared to look around the knight’s bedroom. A shirt on Ren’s bed, one that surely wasn’t Ren’s. Hux cold blue eyes burn with hate. But there still may be more than that. “Let me go,” he hisses.

“Or what?!” This time the knight’s voice sounds daring.

“Just let me go…” Ren’s grip isn’t even that strong this time, but maybe that just makes it all much worse for Hux. He sounds somehow resigned again.

“Just don’t think it’s gonna be so easy,” Kylo hisses right into his face, breathing in the scent again. It’s making him sick. And  _ horny _ . He loosens the grip, letting Hux go, his hand slightly shaking, kneeling back to the mask of Darth Vader.

“I’m so sorry, grandfather,” he whispers to the mask, taking off his own one. “I’ve promised you to be strong, and yet I’m failing you again.”

“God…” Hux whispers as he sees it, shaking his head and rubbing his forehead. “This is getting ridiculous, I’m leaving,” he turns again, marching for the door.

The knight doesn’t even bother to turn around, still staring at Vader almost lovingly. “I wish I had the strength you once had,” he keeps whispering, his body now visibly shaking. “Or did you feel the same?! Tell me, grandfather… What shall I do? No matter how much I struggle, I can’t resist in the end…”

Hux grits his teeth angrily as he can’t open the door, Ren apparently holding them with his sorcery or whatever it is. “Let me out! This is not something I want to see, Ren,” he shouts, even though he doesn’t see the knight anymore as he is in a different room. Still, he doesn’t even want to imagine.

Kylo takes a deep breath as he finally gets up, heading to his bedroom. As soon as he’s able to reach Hux, he grabs him tight, pushing him into the nearest wall, pressing his lips against the general’s ones. Only this sensation is enough to turn Kylo crazy, trying to get as much as he can from the ginger’s body.

“Stop it, Ren!” Hux is shaking, trying to push the younger one away, torn between hating him and wanting him all the same. But he knows what he has to do and this is certainly not it. He remembers Snoke’s words, the shame, his own resolve, the way Ren tried to strangle him right on the bridge just several hours ago.

“No!” the brunette growls, pushing his tongue deep into the other’s mouth. “You can’t possibly imagine how much I hate you… For your bare existence… For  _ this _ !” he is hissing between the kisses.

“I can…” Hux moves his hand to the messy black hair, losing the fight with himself. He answers the kiss passionately, caressing Ren’s neck with his fingers, almost melting against the knight against his own will. It’s because of the mouth, because of his voice, because of the  _ puppy eyes _ . He has never wanted to see those eyes again.

Kylo shivers as he feels the cold fingers against his hot skin, making him long for more. He’s afraid he’ll never have enough of this man, of his touches, of the warmth of his body. He is moving closer and closer to him, biting his lips - which finally managed to heal - bloody again, fiercely and dangerously, his breath coming out in shallow shudders.

It’s almost scary how fast Hux’s body recalls longing for Ren, longing to make him kneel and to make him  _ his _ all over again. But it’s  _ wrong  _ and it cannot happen again! “We can’t, Ren…” he whispers against his skin, as he moves to cover his neck with bites and kisses.

“I don’t give a fuck about what we can and what we can’t,” the brunette is trembling, goosebumps appearing even on his neck as he feels the hot lips marking him once again. “I want you…” he manages to get out of himself, losing it way quicker than he himself expected.

“No!” Hux tries really hard to push him away and as he manages to do so, he looks to the brown eyes and the thing he managed to kill today on the bridge comes back to life with a sickening flutter. “No…” he shakes his head, trembling all over.  _ Oh, god _ , he wants him too. He needs him in a way he has never needed anything. “Let me go,” he whispers in a voice so full of emotions, it barely sounds as his own at all.

“No…” the knight mumbles against Hux’s mouth, licking the blood of his lips away. “Hux, I can’t let you go,” he continues, his voice urgent, but still full of lust.

“Why?” the general sounds desperate. “You know it’s just going to end up the same way, just repeating over and over until one of us kills the other or until Snoke kills us both!” He doesn’t want to  _ feel _ .

“You’ve shown me something I’d never known before,” Ren is whispering, caressing Hux’s cheek, his knees starting to shake again. “And I’m not willing to give it up. I’m not willing to give  _ you  _ up just because Snoke told us to.”

“I can’t give you anything…” it’s barely hearable, Hux’s throat somehow getting tight even without being choked. As Ren’s knees give out, he just lets him to drag them both on the floor, kneeling and looking pathetic. “You haven’t come here for such things in the first place!” he reminds him, trying to get back his commanding voice, but failing miserably.

“Perhaps I haven’t…” Kylo pulls him closer, suddenly feeling the urge to just hide inside of him, in his warm body, and to never come back. “But I’m glad I found you anyway…”

“Do you fucking listen to yourself?!” the general shivers, realising yet again how hard has the puppy fallen for him, how unbelievably deep in this shit they both are. So far beyond return it physically hurts. “Get off me, Ren,” he mutters. “Before it’s already too late.” It may already be. “If you turn light because of this, I’ll kill you with my bare hands!”

“I know,” Kylo shivers, finally admitting something, which has been haunting him for the last couple of weeks. “I’ve seen it in my dreams, Hux.”

Hux’s eyes widen and the general stays silent for several moments, completely taken aback. “What the fuck, Ren?” he breathes out in shock, “you’ve seen yourself turning light? You’ve seen me killing you?” he pulls away, examining the puppy, not sure whether he should scream or laugh. This is so far beyond wrong that he doesn’t even know how to call it. Or what to do. “Then why am I still here? Why do you still have the damned shirt?!”

“I don’t know,” Kylo shakes his head, looking away, not able to face Hux after this. “I want you here… And I can’t help it.”

Hux looks at him and he wants to call him  _ pup _ and to bring him close, he wants to ease the burning pain in his own chest. And he also wants to kill the disaster right now, right here. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. There are thousands of things he wants to say, but he can’t, of course. Just as much as he can’t  _ keep  _ the puppy, as he can’t feel  _ something  _ for him, whatever it is. “But I don’t want to be here,” he shakes his head, lying. “We should never even see each other again,” he says, even though he knows it can’t be done. He tries not to look at the shattered puppy, as he starts to get up.

“Hux!” Kylo tries to grab his hand as other words get stuck in his throat, for the first time in ages actually desperate enough to plead. “Please…” He lowers his gaze, feeling something hot and wet forming in his eyes. Could he be actually… crying?! 

Hux jerks his hand away almost hysterically, looking at the knight - at  _ his  _ knight - in horror. “No…” he says slowly, biting his lips, trembling all over. “Don’t do this, Kylo…” he whispers as his own world gets shattered. He can _hear_ the shards falling all around him. “Don’t you fucking dare…” he barks, turning around, stopping at the door. He wants to get away, to just go and to get this all over with. But he somehow can’t bring himself to push the button to open the door.

“Hux, please! Please, don’t do this!” Kylo is stretching his hand towards him, still kneeling on the cold floor, feeling tears running down his cheeks. “Please!”

Hux feels like dying. He feels the weight of turning Kylo Ren into  _ this  _ and he wants him, he desperately longs to go back to him. He wants to embrace him, to  _ make him better _ . He actually  _ feels _ . But he knows what is best for both of them. Yet, for a fleeting moment, he turns back again, stretching his own hand towards the disaster, their fingers just barely touching. “No…” he chokes out in a trembling voice.

“Hux…” Kylo gulps, feeling an electrical jolt as one of his fingertips touches the general’s one. “Don’t…” He feels like falling apart himself, almost as if his life was depending on the ginger’s immediate reaction, sobbing, his eyes full of tears. “Don’t…”

“No, Ren,” Hux shakes his head again, backing off, tempted by the puppy so much he feels like he’s in hell already. Even the name said like this sounds wrong and distant to him, his lips crying for  _ Kylo _ . “We can’t let this destroy us,” he adds in cracking voice, so quiet it’s barely just a whisper. “We belong to the First Order,” he says as if it was the last straw holding him together, finally pushing the button at the door.

The brunette is watching him leave, the terror finally striking him down completely. As soon as the door shuts behind him, his body collapses on the floor with no remaining strength at all, only writhing around in cramps, crying loudly. He feels like something, which awoke in him several weeks ago, died again - but in such an intense pain that none of his physical injuries would be even remotely able to match it. Kylo is lying there for a long, long time - whether it’s minutes or hours, he can’t tell. And then finally he falls into a restless sleep, only wishing for it to last forever.

Hux can’t stop the trembling, the sickening feeling that’s all over his body, the cold he’s never felt before. He’s glad it’s late already and there is barely someone around. He doesn’t look at anything or anybody, he just wants to shut himself in his own quarters and drink himself to death. To free himself of all that’s happened. He still can’t believe what he’s just saw. What he’s  _ caused _ . His hands are shaking as he finally gets to his kitchen, loudly going through the cupboards. He actually manages to break a glass before giving up on that and drinking right from the bottle. Everything is just the worst and yet, it always somehow manages to get even worse. He’s choking. He’s choking on his feelings as he sits on the floor in his own kitchen, drinking rum from the bottle and smoking, needing the smoke more than air. Or at least he thinks he does.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this chapter is so late... and it's probably not wholly proofread by my co-author, since I haven't been able to get in touch with her lately. There's a lot of stuff happening in our lives now, but next chapters should be here sooner. There're still more than ten chapters waiting to be published...  
> We are finally getting past the time of the movie. They are breaking each other beyond repair, but they are somehow still managing to be sickeningly fluffy in a way, but my poor, poor Hux... (And the training! I'm so looking forward to all the angst in next chapters...)

Another few days passed and there is still no progress in retrieving the map. Kylo Ren is very angry again, somehow managing to return to his usual macabre self, being even more fearsome than before. Nothing is going according to plan. They were unable to get the BB-8 unit and even though they managed to kidnap the Force sensitive girl, they were still no closer to extracting the map from her mind. And of course, there was Hux. Kylo hasn’t seen him since the disaster in his quarters - which he decided not to think about ever again - and he was avoiding any contact with him completely. Until now. The Supreme Leader has summoned them both to the meeting and Kylo attended it unwillingly, right after interrogating the girl, without his mask, feeling angry and defenseless.

Hux is spiteful and poisonous when he talks to the Supreme Leader, blaming everything on Kylo Ren. He doesn’t look at him, quite sure the puppy eyes would be overwhelming even now, because Hux is trying hard… but he is still only a human. All he needs is the voice he hears right there, that sounds as if the knight should burst out crying any minute, to start breaking all over again. He takes his communicator out just as he leaves Snoke’s chambers, leaving the disaster behind, calling to the bridge to start charging the weapon.

It takes a few another minutes for Kylo to finish the debate with Snoke, trying his best not to show him how much the fact he saw the general again has shaken him. After the meeting is finally over, the knight turns around, leaving the chambers as soon as possible, wanting to be anywhere but here.

Hux waits for him. He has no idea why anymore, when it’s just the fastest way to hell, but he just can’t keep himself from not doing it, as he grabs Kylo’s hand and jerks him to a side, to a small unused hallway.

Ren gasps, expecting anything but  _ this _ . “Hux, what the fuck?! Let me go!” he wants to shout at him, but his voice sounds more like a resigned whisper, suddenly feeling weak in his knees again.

The general pushes him against the wall, kissing him fiercely. As if it could make Kylo less about to cry and him less unstable. He needs it, and in the last few torturous days he realised, they both need it, no matter how terrible it is, they can’t do without it anymore. “I can’t, pup…” he whispers against his lips.

As Kylo hears  _ this _ , his knees break completely and he wraps his hands around the general to keep himself in a standing position. “Why…?” he only whispers, his breath coming out in shudders, his eyes glistening again. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Because you look like shit and can’t do anything without me anymore…” the older one whispers even though he isn’t much better without Ren. Since he left him on the floor in Ren’s room, he felt like hollow shell of the past general, trying really hard to fill all the empty spaces with the devotion to the First Order. Yet he obviously failed, as the first thing he did once he saw Kylo was  _ this _ . As he felt his chest get tight and his throat choke on air once he heard the voice, sounding like crying so much, he realised he cannot really do anything anymore, no matter how hard he tries.

“Really? Then look at yourself…” the knight whispers against Hux’s lips, licking them to gain entrance, drowning in the kiss. This just feels divine and he knows he’ll never get enough of this sensation.

The ginger almost melts against him, actually embracing him with one hand as he wants to feel him as close as possible, moving the fingers of his other hand to Ren’s messy hair. “You should go…” he whispers then, biting Ren’s lower lip hard. “Fulfill your duties, so…” he doesn’t say it, as he kisses him hard again, but it’s quite clear.

“I know…” Kylo’s voice is trembling, moving both of his hands to touch Hux’s face, moving them against his temples, kissing him again. He feels like his body was repairing itself from the moment Hux touched him, making him complete once again.

“Good,” the general closes his eyes again, kissing the younger one deep, bringing him so close his body heat is  _ burning _ . “Go…” he whispers, biting him teasingly, as he pulls away after a while.

“But…” Kylo looks at him with his big puppy eyes, not quite able to hold himself. “Will you come in the evening?”

“I’ll come to you as soon as possible,” he promises, giving him the last deep kiss before turning around to march to the Starkiller’s main control room. Somehow, he feels like it could work if they try hard enough. He has no idea how terribly wrong he is.

Kylo is watching him leaving, trying to calm himself down, trying to convince his legs to work again properly. He is standing in the corridor, properly shaken, trembling and sweaty and  _ without his mask _ . God, he needs his mask. He turns around to head into the cell, trying his best to steady his breath, not wanting the scavenger girl to see him like this.

 

When Hux promised to come to him, he didn’t imagine it to be like this. He feels desperate, like all his life is crumbling, falling apart much more than ever before, never to get back together again. It’s true and he can only accept it. He can’t even speak, his body aching all over. If he had a soul, it would be tearing apart, the agony so severe, he would have died. But of course the general has no soul. Not anymore. He falls to his knees as he finds the puppy, beaten and barely conscious, and Hux is losing it completely for a second. It’s too much, the weapon, the Order, the  _ puppy _ . But he has to bring him back, so Kylo can complete his training, whatever that means. So Kylo can fix everything, probably without the general.

Hux takes a deep breath as he lifts him off the ground, the snow all around red with blood and melting. Melting, disappearing into the dirt, destroyed like Hux’s life. Like everything he didn’t even know he had, like his  _ dreams _ . Of the Order, of the Empire and of the  _ Watchdog _ . He wants to say something, wants to at least try to keep the knight awake as he carries him to the transport  _ in his arms _ , but he can’t get the words out. He doesn’t even know what to say.

Kylo is lying in his arms uselessly, balancing on the verge of unconsciousness. His body hurts terribly, but not as much as his soul. This is it. All of his most secret wishes, which he kept deep inside of his mind, that perhaps he and Hux could run away from all of this together are shattered. He killed Han Solo, his own  _ father _ . There is no way out of this now. He is looking at Hux with the last remaining bits of strength, his vision hazy and blurry, but the sight is still beautiful.

“Hux…” he whispers, his voice so quiet that he himself isn’t sure whether he’s not imagining he really said the name out loud. 

The general is shaking, barely standing, giving all the remaining shards of his strength to carry the knight. “Save your breath, pup…” he says finally, as he gets to the transport, not caring who could have heard it - he is quite sure there’s no point in not saying what he wants as he is probably going to get killed soon anyway.

“Fly!” he shouts at the pilot almost hysterically, leaving Kylo lying on the floor as he goes looking for the first aid med kit. He must look like a madman, but it’s the last thing that bothers him right now.

“Hux....” Kylo whispers again as he sees him leaving. “Don’t leave me here…” he tries to shout at him, but it hurts, every part of his body hurts and he slowly falls into unconsciousness. 

The general falls back to him, “stay with me, pup,” he says in broken voice, the words choking him. “Will someone fucking help me?” he shouts then, looking around at the remains of stormtroopers he managed to get on board before his lifelong work and dream crumbled under his feet. His hands are shaking just as much as the time he left crying Kylo Ren on the floor in his quarters. Maybe even more. More than ever before, making the kit almost impossible to even open.

One of the medical officers, who managed to escape with them runs towards the general, taking the medical kit into his own hands immediately. “Let me, General…” he looks at beaten Hux, “and please, bring him to the infirmary. I can’t possibly do anything with him here.”

“Of course,” Hux breathes, completely defeated, looking just like the disgrace he himself became, as he takes Kylo into his hands yet again to move him.

 

Hux sits next to the bed, alone in the infirmary just with Kylo, as he threw everyone else out. The general - he isn’t even sure whether he still is general - looks like the death itself, his eyes swollen and red from the exhaustion and sleep deprivation, the circles under his eyes only standing out more for the almost white color of his skin. He stopped shaking a while ago, his body too tired for such a thing, and now he just stares blankly at Kylo’s face, his fingers entangled with the knight’s.

Ren doesn’t look much better himself, but his breathing is finally steady, even though still rather shallow, and Hux is glad. He is actually really genuinely  _ glad  _ that through the blood loss and shock, they managed to keep him alive. But he needs proper care. The scar on his face will leave a terrible mark, but it may even be a good thing. It will make him look more like the monster he is supposed to be, even without the mask. Hux still sees the puppy and he would even cry, was there any strength left for that. Or soul…

After some time Kylo finally opens his eyes, blinking, looking confused. At first he doesn’t see anything familiar - only a black wall against him, but as his vision gets a bit better, he notices the general sitting next to him. A slight, tired smile appears on his lips as he whispers the ginger’s name. “Hux…”

“I’m here…” the older one squeezes his hand, leaning to carefully kiss his forehead. It’s actually nice to see Ren smile, but Hux can’t bring himself to do the same.

The knight’s smile widens as he feels the warmth of the general’s hand on his. He exhales, closing his eyes tiredly. “What’s happened?”

“You tell me…” the older one sighs, leaning to the chair he sits on. “The Starkiller exploded, we are currently trying to locate Finalizer, but this ship’s radar is damaged…” he says, examining the knight. “We need to get you properly fixed and delivered to Snoke… he wants to complete your training,” he adds, pushing a stray hair lock away from Kylo’s face.

“To complete my training?” Kylo raises his eyes, sighing. “I see…” He closes them painfully again. Of course Snoke wants to finish his training. He must already know about everything that’s happened. Even between the two of them. Of course he can’t allow them to continue like this. He will crush them both. Kylo’s body starts to shiver again as he imagines it, shutting his eyes tight. “No…” he moans.

Hux can’t find any words to tell him. He has no words even for himself. He looks at the knight for a while, caressing him carefully, before he actually stands up. “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispers as the puppy eyes give him frightened look. He takes his jacket off to get to the bed with Ren, careful not to hurt him in any way, but he wants to be close to this disaster. Close to his curse until the very end. Kylo is naked save for his underwear, as they had to tear all of his clothes off to get to his injuries fast, not able to take the ridiculously complex garments off any other way fast enough. “What happened to you?” he asks as he doesn’t want to talk about Snoke or the training. He is not prepared to die, no matter how hard he tries to convince himself he is.

“The wookie shot me with his crossbow…” Kylo shivers as he imagines the face of his dying father, snuggling to Hux, grateful for the warmth he’s providing. “I didn’t see that coming…”

Hux looks at his face and knows there is much more to be said. “You met him?” it’s not really about the wookie.

“I’ve killed him…” Kylo whispers silently, as if he himself still couldn’t believe it. “I really have… and the fucking wookie shot me… I didn’t even have a time to hunt it down…”

The ginger shivers, realizing just how much Kylo is broken, just how much everything is twisted. The idea of the puppy killing him as well is now more vivid than ever, making goosebumps appear on his back. But he’d still rather have the puppy do it than Snoke. And they won’t let him live once they get back, that one is for sure. He only brings Kylo closer, the knight sounding like crying again.

And Kylo does, as he imagines that his next victim will surely have to be Hux. He’s seen it already. He won’t be able to finish his training unless he kills the general. It’s his final task, his destiny. Even though he knows all this, he still can’t bring himself to actually tell him, so he’s just sobbing uselessly into his chest, his wounds hurting terribly as a result.

“Stop it, pup, you are only making everything worse…” Hux tries to soothe him, carefully caressing his back. “You are so good at making everything the worst way possible,” he chuckles, his voice resigned but still desperate. It hurts.

Kylo nods desperately, moving himself to kiss Hux’s lips. “How can you still be here…?” he whispers. “After what I’ve done… How can you not mind? I’ve killed my own father… finally starting to turn into the monster you wanted me to be… How, Hux…?”

“Call me Brendol,” Hux sighs. “If the First Order wanted me to, I’d kill my father as well, you know…” he whispers. “It’s the way this side works, we are all going to die alone,” he looks at him, gulping silently, his chest so tight he cannot breathe again. “But I failed at every task I was given… I’m going to die soon, pup, at your hands or the Supreme Leader’s, it doesn’t matter,” he feels like crying himself. He looks into Kylo’s eyes, noticing that the puppy has managed to damage the stitches on his face. He shakes his head, trying to keep himself from giving up the last pieces of his dignity, shutting his eyes tight. The weapon, the Empire, the puppy. He lost everything, there’s no reason to keep trying anyway.

“Brendol?” Kylo whispers, looking at him properly again, as if he saw him for the first time. “Is that… your name…?” he pulls the general closer, kissing his lips tiredly again.

“It is…” the older nods, pulling away a little. “You are hurting yourself,” he points out, caressing Kylo’s cheek with  _ care _ . With something  _ much more severe _ . The world is just as cruel as it gets. “I hate you, Kylo…” he whispers, suppressing an actual sob. “Beyond fucking measure…”

“I don’t... “ Kylo whispers back, the tears still running down his cheeks. “I’m just not able to…” he kisses him again, fighting himself to find the strength inside, to kiss him properly, to taste the general once again.

Hux doesn’t protest this time, licking Kylo’s lips, carefully sucking them between his own. So close he can smell the knight’s blood, so he moves to lick it. “You should, you know… there should have never been anything else…” he still keeps saying it, even though it’s late, even though it was already late several months ago.

“I know… it would have been so much easier… everything. But I can’t, Brendol… I just can’t… it’s too late.” The knight lays his head down on the pillow again, feeling his head swirling. “And yet you’re still here, in my bed, holding me tight…” he closes his eyes tiredly once more.

“I have nothing else left…” Hux whispers, as he closes his eyes, snuggling to the too long, pointy body he got actually so used to. It’s strange, hearing the puppy call him by his given name, but it somehow feels good. It feels right. “I’d probably be here even if I had…” he adds, barely hearable, as the tiredness finally hits him hard.

“That’s good…” Kylo whispers, pulling himself closer, desperately needing to feel Hux’s body. “Take off your clothes… Please. I want to feel you properly…” he whispers silently, his eyes still closed.

Despite all the exhaustion, Hux leaves the bed once more to do as requested. He undresses, so he as well is left only in his underwear before getting back, finding Kylo’s lips again. He kisses him slowly and carefully, but with passion, as if he needed to put all he feels into the simple gesture. “My curse…” he says, his eyes getting watery once more. He blinks fast to get rid of anything that threatened to happen. “You have no idea…” he lays his forehead on Kylo’s shoulder, closing his eyes once more.

The brunette breathes out almost happily as he feels Hux’s torso on his skin, moving against him a bit more, to gain as much contact as possible. “I don’t…” he whispers, taking the ginger’s hand, entwining their fingers once again. “But I think I feel the same.” Then he finally falls asleep again as he feels secure once more, getting the most needed rest.

The general looks at his calm face for another several moments, examining his features, the scar so new, yet so  _ fitting _ . It’s sickening. “We should have never fallen for each other…” he says in quiet broken voice, as he himself lies his head to sleep as well.

 

Almost a week passes before the crew is finally able to locate the Finalizer. Kylo’s condition got much better over the time, but he’s still weak and vulnerable. And pissed off, since Hux is controlling his each move, not wanting him to get up from the bed at all. Once the ginger is in the cockpit, he gets up again, still walking very slowly, the injuries hurting him with every step. But Kylo doesn’t care, he needs to do something.  _ Or at least someone, _ he thinks, frustrated already since Hux’s been sleeping in his bed since they got here and they still weren’t able to have a proper sex. It takes him way longer than usually to get to the cockpit as well, leaning against the wall to get some rest. “How does it look?” he asks, looking at the general.

“You shouldn’t be here,” is the first thing Hux actually tells him, as he looks at the knight. “We should be able to reach the Finalizer in three days,” he answers then, moving closer to Kylo. They still try to behave at least remotely properly in front of the crew, even though everyone knows everything. It’s hard to even  _ breathe  _ on this small ship without everyone knowing and even if it wasn’t like that, the first time Hux brough Kylo on board didn’t left anyone doubting. But it actually makes things easier for Hux, stripping him of all the need to hide anything. He’s already lost all hopes for himself, but he maybe still believes in the rest. He sometimes wonders himself.

“I’m fine,” Kylo exhales, taking Hux’s hand to remain balance, stroking it gently. “Any other news?”

“You are not fine,” the ginger frowns, examining him carefully, “you are barely standing, Kylo,” he squeezes Ren’s hand, shaking his head. “No other news, we still haven’t been able to contact anyone…” he looks at the way Kylo’s training robes hang on him, sighing deeply. “Did you eat?” he asks.

The pilot looks sternly in front of himself, trying to make himself invisible. This is still something no one can get used to, still partly not believing it although they actually found them lying in bed together,  _ snuggled _ like little boys, when they were looking for the general. Most of the crew actually fears for their lives once they arrive. But it doesn’t stop them from making bets on whether the two will actually kiss in front of someone else, whether they’ll actually do  _ it  _ before reaching the Finalizer, or who is more loud. The pilot doesn’t bet. He just feels terribly embarrassed for the whole ship, really.

“I did eat something, don’t worry,” Kylo nods at him, taking even his other hand, entwining their fingers. He hasn’t properly eaten again in the last couple of days, feeling quite often sick after the meals. And Hux knows, as he’s trying to make him eat at least a bit, feeling and seeing how the knight is getting thinner and thinner. “I just can’t stay in the bed anymore,” he sighs. “I need to  _ do  _ something, Bren.”

The pilot almost feels like blacking out at the name and the  _ tone, _ in which the knight says it. Their reflection he sees on the window glass isn’t helping. That’s certainly not the way he’s ever imagined the First Order.

“What would that be?” the general asks, getting used to the name Ren now calls him by. It’s nice, even though it makes him look even more like a puppy. “Because you certainly shouldn’t be walking around. Just look at the mess you still are,” he sighs with a worry.

“I’ve told you I’m fine,” Kylo tries to smile at him, but with the bags under his eyes and the brand new scar he looks more creepy than anything else. “Can I help you with anything?”

“I don’t think so,” the older shakes his head, “there’s not much to do in general anyway,” he adds, shrugging his shoulders. He carefully caresses Ren’s cheek, “focus on getting better,” he whispers.

The pilot actually just barely suppresses frightened  _ squeak _ , hoping he wasn’t heard. He stares at the console in front of him, trying to appear as small as possible.

“I am… but it’s boring,” Kylo sighs, hearing his empty stomach growling. To avoid Hux’s complaints, he pulls him closer and kisses him, not caring a single bit about the personnel around them.

_ Phasma wins the bet _ , is the only thing the pilot can think of, too shocked to come up with anything else.

“You are still just an insufferable child,  _ pup _ ,” Hux whispers against Ren’s mouth, aware of three surprised gasps around them and the looks they’re getting. He actually knows about the bets too. He doesn’t seem to mind though as he gets closer to the knight, careful about his injuries.

“Come on…” Kylo whispers against Hux’s mouth. “Stop it and let me sit down,” he points at Hux’s chair, his knees shaking again. He hates this weakened state, feeling like a crippled idiot. He hates the fact everyone is looking after him like he was a five year old. Especially Hux.

“Fine,” the general sighs, leading him to his chair, which he doesn’t use anyway. “But there’s still nothing for you to do,” he point out.

The mood in the cockpit changes slightly, as all the three people that are actually inside with them realise that Kylo Ren isn’t leaving.

“I don’t mind,” the knight answers, slightly shaking his head as he sees the stars moving around him. It makes him properly sick after a while, so he closes his eyes, sighing. Apparently Hux was right once again.

He examines him yet again, frowning. “Told you,” he just utters as he understands, before placing his hand on Kylo’s shoulder. “Get up, Kylo, we are leaving, you look like shit and I can tell you feel like one as well,” he hears another three gasps and realises he actually saves the personnel around as well.

“I’m fine,” Ren utters, turning away from the window. “You don’t have to worry about me so much,” he adds, even though he feels like throwing up.

“You are not, come with me,” the general actually rolls his eyes. “Stubborn beast,” he caresses his cheek again before taking his hand, giving him the attention Kylo craves.

The brunette gets up, his legs feeling wobbly and uncoordinated. He hides his face inside Hux’s chest once again, his eyes shut tight. “I’m sorry…” he whispers, not reminding the Kylo Ren he was a week ago at all.

The pilot feels like dying of embarrassment, even more embarrassed at the fact that he is probably the only one.

Hux almost casually kisses Ren on the forehead before moving to support the knight so they can go back. “You are not…” he just shakes his head. “You love making my life hard…” he now takes it almost humorously, slowly accepting that these are the last days of his life. So he tries to forget all the misery.

“The old habits die hard,” Kylo smiles, letting Hux to take him to the bed again, his head swirling terribly.

Hux sits by his side, stretching a hand to caress Ren’s head, pushing stray hairlocks out of his face. “Why don’t you eat, pup?” he asks as he examines him.

“The food makes me sick,” he mumbles, pulling Hux closer and closer.

The older sighs heavily. “I can’t have you starving yourself again now, after all that’s happened,” he bends to kiss the puppy, tracing the features of his face with his fingers.

“I had a breakfast today,” Kylo points out. “I’m trying to eat, you know... I’ve promised you that,” he smiles at him, feeling still a bit off.

“But only a breakfast’s not enough…” Hux frowns again. “I’ll bring you something…” he adds, “It’s past lunchtime again, anyway,” he points out.

“Okay…” the brunette nods, hoping he will be able to hold it inside of his stomach. “Thanks, I guess.”

“I’ll be right back then,” Hux says as he stands up to go for the food.

Meanwhile Kylo lays down, closing his eyes, tired again. He feels like shit, that’s something Hux was right about too. It’s no wonder though since the medical facility on Ren’s ship isn’t exactly advanced and his injuries were quite severe. He’ll get better as soon as they reach the Finalizer for sure though.

 

The pilot tiredly leans into his chair, as he examines whether everything’s all right, the ship going on autopilot for a while already. It’s quite late, but everyone sleep mostly where they spend most of their time anyway. Ren’s ship isn't exactly made for a big crew. “Captain?” he turns around as he sees the masked woman, getting up to salute.

“Lieutenant?” Phasma looks at the trooper. “Do you have a moment?”

“Of course, sir,” the pilot nods, still at attention.

“You are relieved, lieutenant,” Phasma nods back. “This is only an informal conversation,” she looks at the masked officer, clearly wanting to talk about something specific.

The trooper eases, carefully returning to his seat - not sure whether it’s really acceptable since Phasma herself is still standing. “What is it, captain?” he asks in surprisingly soft voice.

Phasma stays silent for a moment as if unsure what exactly to say. “Has there been any problem considering the general and Kylo Ren during your shift?”

Because of the trooper mask, the captain can’t see the pilot’s expression, but probably thanks to the pause before answering, it’s quite clear the pilot didn’t expect such a question. “No, sir,” he answers with a shake of his head, “not exactly.”

“Not exactly? What do you mean, lieutenant?” the woman raises her eyebrow, putting her mask off since she’s not on duty anymore and the thing is just too damn uncomfortable. “You have a permission to remove your mask as well,” she looks at the officer.

The pilot does as told, revealing surprisingly young girl’s face with big black eyes looking at Phasma. “I’m just… very uncom… unused to their current behavior,” she admits, looking away as if she said something she wasn’t supposed to.

“Everyone is,” the captain points out. “You know there is a high probability that the general might be… replaced, right?”

The younger woman slowly nods. She haven’t really thought about it, but being told like that makes her realise it true. “But Ren can’t even be replaced,” she says. “Yet he behaves… very differently…”

“We are supposed to deliver him to the supreme leader to finish his training,” Phasma answers, unsure herself what it possibly means. “I am very sure he will act... even more differently than we are used to. But we will need Ren in order to win the war. The general… can be replaced by someone equally good,” she sighs, not exactly wanting Hux to end like this. As she saw also his human side, she somehow came to respect him even more. He was able to tame the beast after all.

The pilot looks at her, examining the captain closely. Phasma actually looks like she really just needs to talk to someone - it’s not that surprising. After all that’s happened, even the strongest ones may need a normal talk. “You don’t want him to be replaced, do you, sir?” she dares to ask nervously.

“No, not at all,” the captain answers truthfully. “Hux’s skills are excellent. And not only his professional ones, since he’s been able to tame Kylo Ren. Have you noticed that he’s much timid now? I suppose he shouldn’t be like this, but on the contrary, I don’t think he should be the angry teenager breaking up things as well.”

“To tell you the truth, sir… no one really knows what to think of Kylo Ren,” the pilot says, looking at the stars behind the window. “We don't talk to him or meet him much, we just don’t want to become his tantrum’s victim…” she shrugs her shoulders a little. “I believe that General Hux is exceptional man, but… I have no idea what to think of what I saw today…”

“What is your opinion, lieutenant?” Phasma only asks, just wanting to hear another point of view than hers, she herself confused about her thoughts.

“It’s just that…” the pilot bites her lips, looking very young and a little lost. “Couldn't such a behavior… being so  _ close _ to someone prove a fatal weakness?”

“Of course it could,” Phasma nods. “That’s why I’m worried about general’s life. I’m very sure he must know so too. There is a good reason for the troops not to be let involved in romantic relationships. The general broke this rule. He must surely know what kind of punishment awaits him.”

“Then… I don’t really understand why they do it,” the pilot admits.

“It’s quite simple, I guess. They simply can’t help it,” Phasma shrugs her shoulders. “If you had a relationship at least once in your life, you would understand.”

“But they could try to keep it more secret…” the younger woman points out, thinking about it. “Like they did on the Finalizer,” even though even then everyone was talking about it at some point. “You understand it, sir?”

“Somehow, I do. But I’m sure they realized there’s no point in hiding it. From what I’ve heard, I’m very sure the supreme leader knows anyway.”

“I’m surprised the general doesn’t mind people talking about him as they do now…” the trooper says.

“Have you seen him? He seems resigned since the explosion of the Starkiller base. I don’t think he cares anymore. He failed his mission. We all did. Nobody knows what will happen to us.” Phasma sighs again.

“We are all here just to deliver Ren, aren’t we?” the pilot seems a little startled at the sudden realization of what could come. “I admire the general’s unwielding devotion to the Order.”

“We are staying at the Finalizer, waiting for the rest of us to regroup. Waiting for orders,” Phasma says strictly, not allowing a discussion on this one.

The pilot is quiet for a while, realizing Phasma doesn’t want to talk about that. “I expected Ren to be older…” she admits then, trying to change the topic.

“Everyone did,” the captain nods. “But when you realize how he behaves under normal circumstances, it’s actually not surprising.”

“That is true,” the younger one agrees, “it’s hard to imagine he is our strongest one…”

“But you’ve seen what he can do. There’s no doubt he actually is the strongest one of us. But it seems difficult to understand, I must admit that one,” Phasma chuckles, realizing she’s probably said more than she’s supposed to. “Well, lieutenant, get your rest, I’ll go too. We will need everyone as productive as they’re able to be, until we reach the Finalizer.”

“Yes, sir,” the pilot stands again to salute, probably just too used to it, not to do it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the delay...

“Are you still my knight?” Hux asks as he sits on Ren’s bed, examining him. He stretches one hand to carefully touch the scar on the knight’s face. It suits him in a way - goes well with his whole  _ image _ . The general’s voice sounds somehow desperate, given up, as his whole world has already crumbled.

“Of course I am,” Kylo smiles at him. “Why would you doubt that?” He squeezes Hux’s hand, caressing his hair.

“I don't know… I don't doubt it… it’s just…” he sighs, leaning to kiss Kylo quite tenderly. He somehow gradually stops resembling his past self more and more every day. “I failed at everything…” he says then, again.

“You didn’t,” Ren sighs. “The explosion of the Starkiller wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have prevented it. I should have retrieved the droid, not the girl,” he says. “And killed the traitor before he managed to escape to the Resistance base.”

“It’s not about what we should have done…” Hux sighs again. “It’s about what we didn’t do, you know…” he gets closer, as if he needed Ren’s body heat.

“Of course I know,” Kylo nods, pulling Hux closer as if he understood what the ginger wanted him to do. “Come here, Bren…” he whispers, biting his ear gently.

The older one shivers a little, lying on the bed next to the knight. “My mother was the last one to call me like that,” he doesn't even know why he’s saying it.

“My mother called me Ben,” Kylo chuckles. “So ironical. It even sounds similar.”

Hux looks at him, examining him. “God, Ren, this is all so wrong, I don't even know how to call it.” He just sighs again. “Do you miss it?” he asks.

Kylo shakes his head almost immediately. “No… Why should I? My mother had never time for me anyway since she became a general herself at quite a young age,” the knight chuckles again at the irony as he looks at Hux. “And my father was barely at home. I never had a proper family to miss. So I don’t care. What about you? You’ve never told me.” Kylo pulls the general close as he keeps talking, unbuttoning the shirt of his uniform. “Will you stay with me or do you still have some job to do?”

“There’s not much to do… I’ll be here until morning…” Hux answers before getting to the previous question. “You want to hear about my family? It was not much better than yours… my mother cared for me before I got to the academy, but most of my life was the academy and military training…” he doesn’t seem to mind. “It was just how it was supposed to be.” He leans to kiss the knight again.

“It was the academy of your father, was it not?” Kylo whispers into his ear as he pulls him closer, sitting him between his legs.

“He was teaching there, yes…” Hux nods. “You are still injured…” he point out, realizing what Kylo is planning.

“I’m fine,” Ren lies. He just can’t help it, but he can’t hold it anymore, Hux’s heat driving him insane. And of course, there’s still his scent, which is even worse. “How do you think I feel after a week of sharing a bed with you, if I’m not even able to touch you properly?” he exhales.

Hux narrows his eyes, as he rubs himself against Ren. “I feel the same,” he whispers as he leans to kiss the knight again. “But I don't want to hurt you,” he admits, then he moves to kneel between Kylo’s legs.

“Then can we do it perhaps some less exhausting way? I want to have you once more before… you know. Before we reach the Finalizer,” Kylo whispers. “I’ll still be able to heal myself, at least partially. Until now I haven’t had the strength to do so properly.”

Hux chuckles. It's the first time since they’ve boarded Ren’s ship. “I can't imagine  _ less exhausting way _ with you,” he says. He ignores the remark about the Finalizer. He doesn't want to think about that now. “But I’ll try to be careful,” he adds as he starts to undress Ren.

“Okay…” the knight shivers as he feels the gentle touches on his bare skin, moving his hands to undress Hux himself. He doesn’t know whether it’s because of his injuries, but Hux’s so tender and caring it makes him sick. Of course, it’s surely just because of his injuries. Any quicker move would make his condition worse again.

“You’ve lost too much weight already,” the older whispers tenderly, but in somehow unhappy voice, as if he was complaining. He caresses Ren’s nipples, leaning to lick one of them.

“I’m sorry,” Kylo whispers. “I really am trying to eat. But it’s no good. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”  _ Perhaps I’m just really starting to be nervous that I’d really have to kill you once we arrive... _

“God, you are still such an incompetent puppy,” the older leans to kiss him long. “Pup…” he breathes into his mouth, sucking his lower lip hard.  _ How am I supposed to leave you alone…? _

“It’s not that bad,” Kylo whispers against his mouth, not even thinking about complaining anymore because of the fact Hux calls him pup. “Come on… I want you… I’ll eat something later, okay?” He himself doesn’t know when it happened, when he’s started to turn into this. He’s never cared about anyone before, not even himself. This is oddly refreshing, to find someone to care about at last.

“You won’t,” Hux just sighs again against his skin. He moves to better position, kissing and licking Ren’s skin, the parts not covered with bandages. “I know you… I know you so well already,” it almost sounds regretful.

“I’m afraid you know me better than I know myself,” Kylo chuckles bitterly. “I don’t understand anything anymore, Bren… This is just so wrong,” he whispers, contradicting himself as he throws Hux’s shirt on the floor, moving his hands to unzip his pants.

“Yet, we are still here…” the older points out in kind of a flat voice. There’s nothing to do about it anymore. “Do you know they actually bet on us on the ship?” he remembers, not even sure why he tells the knight. “We are doomed,  _ pup _ … there’s nothing we can do about it…” he chuckles again, but this time, it sounds resigned, lost again. He has nothing more to lose anymore anyway. He leans again to kiss Ren before getting away to get rid of his pants and underwear. He does the same with Kylo’s before getting back to kiss him passionately.

“Betting on us?” the taller one asks him between the kisses, puzzled, noticing how done Hux sounds. “What do you mean?”

“Whether we’d kiss in front of anyone… which we did,” Hux sighs, “or whether we’ll actually do it on the ship,” he looks at the other, not looking like he really care. Not anymore. 

“What?!” Kylo snorts, struck down by what the ginger just told him. “How can they be betting on such a thing?!”

“Isn’t it obvious?” the ginger shakes his head. “We’ve been on this ship for a week. Half of the crew has no idea what to do here and they don’t even have a place to sleep… they try to keep themselves occupied,” he shrugs as he moves to kiss Kylo’s body again. With one hand he caresses his member teasingly.

The knight moans, not able to prevent the sound from leaving his lips, even though he’s not sure anymore he wants to do it after what Hux has just told him. “They’re gonna hear it, are they not?” he whispers, embarrassed.

“Probably,” the other doesn’t even look all that affected by the whole crew hearing it. “Keep it down, pup,” he adds, as he moves to take him into his mouth.

Despite his best efforts, Kylo still growls quite loudly, not expecting Hux to go for it so quickly. “What the hell, Bren?” he moans silently, trying his best not to shout out in pleasure.

“I’m trying to keep you from moving too much,” the ginger answers, actually enjoying this particular activity because of the knight’s reactions that are still as innocent as ever.

“Okay…” Kylo shivers, jerking his hips against Hux’s perfect lips, not able to control it, even though it still hurts quite a lot.

The older one grips his hip firmly, as he hears pain in his moans, giving Ren a stern look. “What else would you like to do?” he asks teasingly into his skin, letting his penis go for a little while to kiss his inner thigh. Like this he looks like the old general again, taking all control.

“This is good,” Kylo keeps shivering as he feels Hux’s lips on his oversensitive penis. “I was looking forward to this,” he smiles at him, the awkward feeling not leaving him, but even though he’d never admit it, it just feels so damn good.

“I’ve spoiled you,” Hux mutters into his skin, before getting a little away to salivate his own fingers. “Spread your legs a little,” he instructs.

“Anything,” Kylo shivers, doing exactly as being told, wanting to touch Hux too, but the wound still hurts as hell.

“Stop hurting yourself unnecessarily,” the general frowns at him. He slowly enters him with one finger, realising that it’s been quite a while since the last time they’ve done it. “God, I want to take you,” it’s barely hearable when he says it, examining Ren’s face carefully, thus neglecting his erection once more. “I want to ravish you…” he bites his lips, realising that he can’t in order not to hurt the knight much more again.

“You can, as soon as we get to the Finalizer and my injuries will be treated properly,” he whispers, hoping he’s right. Who knows what will happen. He himself is weakened and more sentimental than usually in this condition. Perhaps it will be him who finally takes Hux and destroys him completely for everything he’s done to him.

Hux doesn’t answer right away - he doesn’t believe there will actually be anything  _ after they reach the Finalizer _ . He doesn’t even  _ hope _ . “That will be in three days,” he just whispers, somehow bitterly, leaning over Ren carefully to kiss him, to let him drown all of his moans in his own lips as he finds his prostate again.

Kylo writhes under the intense touches, still loud enough to be heard, unable to stop himself.  _ The crew will definitely talk tomorrow _ , he thinks, not able to forget the bets Hux told him about.

The ginger carefully adds a second finger while still enjoying the knight’s soft lips. They are already red and swollen from all the kissing and biting, accepting and inviting,  _ beautiful _ . He enjoys them for a little while longer before moving to Ren’s neck, sucking on the sensitive skin, not caring in the slightest whether he’ll left marks.

“Bren…” Kylo moans, his vision blurry again. He very much hopes it’s because of the pleasure and not because his injuries opened again and he’s losing blood at a rapid speed, or something like that. He keeps moving his hips against the hand frantically, not giving a shit about it at all. He’s sick of it already and he wants to enjoy himself before it’s too late.

“Don’t move…” the general frowns at him before moving lower again, gripping Kylo’s hip with his free hand to keep him in place. He takes his erection into his mouth once more.

“I can’t be still... “ the knight whispers, ruffling Hux’s hair. “You’re driving me insane!” Despite all of his efforts, Kylo shouts out the last word, having no doubts that the entire ship must have heard this.

Hux suppresses another chuckle, hearing the younger one. This whole thing is getting almost surreal, when he thinks about all the consequences, but he doesn’t let himself be bothered by that now. He sucks on Ren’s tip, bringing him closer and closer to climax.

Kylo keeps shouting and moaning, choking on his own screams as he feels some presence behind the door. God, not only they’ve heard, they’re  _ listening  _ behind the door. The brunette tries his best to concentrate, to choke them at least a bit so they would leave, but his brain doesn’t work and neither his Force powers do.

“What is it, pup?” Hux notices the change in Ren’s behaviour, examining him carefully, trying not to hurt him.

“They’re standing behind the door,” Kylo shivers, trying to be as quiet as possible, still trying to move himself against Hux, into his perfectly wet and warm mouth again. “Listening to us.”

“Ignore it,” the older one rolls his eyes as he gets back to what he was doing. It’s actually really tempting to give Ren permission to do whatever he wants to the whole crew once they arrive.

“I’m trying to…” Kylo mumbles, suddenly feeling a bit off, realizing he’s ashamed. Ashamed of himself, of the sounds he’s making, of the fact it must be so obvious Hux’s his first.

The older one frowns as he can roughly tell what Kylo’s thinking, based on his behavior and face. “Should I stop?” he asks as he looks into the puppy eyes.

“No…” the brunette shakes his head. “I want to feel you… I need it, Bren. I  _ need  _ you!” Kylo is shivering, lacking the closeness he had a few seconds ago, the intimacy of Hux’s mouth on his penis, the skin to skin contact.

“Fine…” Hux smiles as he leans to kiss the younger one properly, passionately enjoying his hot mouth, before moving back again to finally bring him over the edge.

And Kylo does, crying out Hux’s name in pleasure, not able to control himself at all. The hot white liquid is splashing right into the ginger’s mouth, who finally changes his mind and swallows it, for the first time ever, even enjoying it somehow. 

The taste is still hardly bearable, but Hux doesn’t see any other choice and from time to time, it’s nice to do such a thing for the puppy to throw him off completely. He leans to kiss Kylo’s neck as he finds his hand to bring it to his own penis.

The knight seems to be shivering in postorgasmic haze, not even realizing what Hux’s doing. It almost takes another minute to start perceiving again, looking at him with a  _ loving  _ smile. “Do you want some help?” he whispers, nodding in the direction of Hux’s member.

“What you are doing is enough,” Hux says, letting Kylo to work on his erection with one hand, as he doesn’t want the knight to move more. He is supporting himself with one arm, leaning carefully over the brunette, enjoying his expression in a way. He moves his free hand to trace the beautiful lips before he slips his fingertips between them.

Ren suppresses a muffled moan, eagerly letting the fingers in, sucking on them, biting them gently. He can’t help himself, but Hux is just  _ beautiful  _ like this and for a second he wishes this moment never to end.

The general thinks almost the same, as he watches Ren, enjoying his every touch. He’d miss the lips, the sad eyes, the knight’s scent and heat and everything he’s gotten so used to already. Hux bites his lips as he thinks such unnecessary thoughts, moving to ravish Kylo’s skin with tongue and teeth to get rid of them. He’s getting really close to the edge himself and after a while he moves, so he can too climax into Kylo’s mouth. He doesn’t want them to get too messy and he just really loves the lips even though it’s a little uncomfortable position.

The brunette sucks on it as an obedient dog he is and when the ginger finally reaches the edge, he swallows everything to the last drop, licking him dry. He’s slowly getting used to the strong scent of an aroused male, not minding it, not even finding it weird as he did the first time.

Hux moves to lie back next to the knight, bringing him close and covering them both as Kylo is still a little shaking. “If your condition worsens, I’ll tie you to the bed,” he whispers as he starts covering Ren’s shoulder with kisses.

“What?” Kylo gasps. “Why the hell would you do that?!”

“To stop you from moving,” the older states the obvious, caressing Ren’s cheek carefully with a mischievous smile, as he moves to lick the knight’s ear, licking him and teasing almost playfully.

“Oh…” the brunette shivers as he feels Hux’s hot breath in his ear. “For a moment I was unsure what you wanted to do with me.”

The general chuckles, “well it’s quite nice idea, but as I already said several times - you are still injured, pup,” he reminds him yet again, moving to look at his face. Somehow, the general’s own expression gets a little more serious as he watches him. “You should have never bothered me with the tea…” he whispers, remembering the lost stray puppy in his kitchen. “You still can’t make it properly anyway… and now  _ I care _ …” he shakes his head, gulps somehow in a lost way, as if he just now realised and didn’t know what to do about it.

“Then finally teach me how to make the stupid tea,” Kylo smiles at him tenderly, feeling his insides clenching as he listens to Hux’s words. “I wouldn’t mind drinking a cup myself now,” he caresses the ginger’s cheek, moving his hand into his hair. 

Hux laughs quietly, as if he lost it again, somehow desperate. “How are we going to make tea on your ship?” he shakes his head again. “Maybe on the Finalizer…” he still doesn’t believe in anything  _ being after landing _ , but Kylo does and that’s what matters.

“Okay then,” the taller one smiles, cuddling himself against the general. “You smell like me…” he utters.

“I don’t mind…” the ginger kisses him on the forehead, “it’s nice in a way… you smell like me as well…”

“I’m glad,” the knight smiles, his eyes closing already. “Let’s sleep…” he yawns, realizing how exhausting the sex was for him.

“You promised to eat something before that,” the general reminds him in resigned voice, as he didn’t really expect Ren to keep this promise. “Goodnight,” he whispers, giving Kylo another kiss on the forehead.

“I ate you,” he chuckles, giving a peck on Hux’s lips. “That’s more than enough, is it not?”

“You are terrible,” Hux only shakes his head, slight smile appearing on his lips.

“I know,” Kylo answers in a quiet whisper, falling asleep in the ginger’s arms.

Hux caresses his hair tenderly, examining Ren’s tired calm face. He has no damn idea how he ended like this,  _ here _ , and it’s scary how little he cares anymore. He’s tired as well, but not yet sleepy, somehow trying to think about all that’s happened yet again - it’s no use. He remembers that Kylo Ren’s  _ real _ name is Ben and somehow ends up remembering his father, the perfect soldier the man is, and he thinks how utterly disappointed his father would be, if he ever knew, what happened to his son. How did he end up. With  _ whom  _ and  _ where _ . He remembers his piano, wondering what’s going to happen to it. He’d like to play it one more time. He’d like to sit in his quarters, have a cigarette and play it, just to forget everything. To start everything over. Yet, deep inside, he somehow knows, that it would all go to hell just the same damned way. With a deep sigh, he closes his eyes to try to sleep as well. He dreams about knights in ancient armor and redhaired emperors and wakes up far more tired than he went to sleep.

 

After a couple of days - which were incredibly and painfully tender and fluffy, Kylo thinks - they finally arrived at the Finalizer. Before boarding their mothership Ren had a quick talk with his crew, threatening to kill them all if they say a word to anyone else about what they saw and heard. Since his strength was slowly returning, he was starting to be as creepy as ever, torturing them with the Force, assuring himself they’ll do exactly as told. After the boarding Kylo is quickly transported to sickbay to heal his wounds properly, not even having time to discuss their future plans with Hux.

The general is called by Snoke right away. He actually regrets a little not being able to go to his quarters for the last time, to play the piano, to smoke and to drink. And somehow, he regrets not being able to see Kylo, even though he wouldn’t admit that. Not even to himself. He enters the room, looking around – it takes just a moment for the Supreme Leader to appear, as enormous as ever, looking at Hux with something interesting in his eyes. “You expect to die here…” he says right away, not even greeting him.

The ginger doesn’t answer as he looks at the Sith. There’s no point in it, as the other obviously knows what he thinks anyway.

“You won’t…” Snoke almost smiles, the gesture making his face look even more disfigured than usually. “I need your skills here,” he adds, examining the redhead’s face.

Hux is astonished. This time, he actually would answer something, was he not so taken aback by Snoke’s words. He expected himself to be executed right away, for his failure and for all the actions Snoke surely knows about.

“You are still the general commanding the Finalizer. I know how you fell and that shall be your punishment,” he says with somehow amused face, “I realize how you hate yourself…”

Hux really doesn’t know what to say, just watching the other. He is not sure whether he is relieved or hates Snoke for his decision. “I don’t hate myself,” he manages to say at least.

“Oh, you do, general, for all your failures, for you inadequate behavior, for all that you have done to Kylo Ren. But I assure you he won’t be  _ yours _ for long…”

Hux feels a stabbing pain in his chest at the words, somehow almost maddening from the dry disfigured lips of the creature above him, and he feels like a young boy again, like the times he was scolded at the fucking academy. Except this time it’s much, much worse. He knows that everything Snoke says is true. And he hates himself.

As Snoke finishes and he goes back to his quarters, he just wants to play the piano and to kill himself. But he knows he won’t - he knows it’s partly for Kylo Ren himself and he hates himself for that as well… it makes everything just so much worse.

 

Kylo spends several days at the infirmary, missing Hux terribly, to the point that he even realizes it. The general hasn’t even come to visit him, nor send him a message, anything. The knight starts to worry about Hux’s life, suddenly understanding why the ginger was acting the way he was. He had to know that his life was ending, so he didn’t care about how he acts or what he feels. Kylo feels his stomach clenching to the point he’s choking. Hux is probably dead now. And if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t act the way he did the last week they spent together. The thought itself is killing the knight, feeling not like being in the infirmary, but locked away in his mental torture chamber. He leaves it utterly broken and done, returning to his quarters to dress himself up into the black robes he wears. He spends a while searching for his mask, realizing that he doesn’t have it anymore since it was destroyed on the Starkiller. It doesn’t matter anyway. He doesn’t need his mask anymore. Now he looks scary enough with the scar, not reminding the incompetent child as much as he did before. And even if he did, it wouldn’t matter, since his inner puppy died with Hux. Kylo doesn’t even hope anymore that he might be still alive. Surely he would’ve heard something from him until now.

As he leaves his quarters and heads to the bridge, he tries his best not to think about the empty place in front of the window where Hux usually used to stand. Except the place isn’t empty. As soon as Kylo arrives, he sees the perfectly neat figure in the uniform of a general with ginger hair, being completely struck by the fact. He almost runs to him immediately as fast as he can, being still a bit slow after the injury, limping and looking pathetic.

Hux recognizes the sound of Ren’s boots right away even though the rhythm of his walking is still a little off because of the injury. He fights it just for a while before turning around to look at him. He remembers what Snoke told him and he tries hard to look just as cold and composed as ever. It doesn’t really work as he looks at the puppy without the mask.

“General,” Ren exhales as he faces him. “You are still alive? How…?” he nearly whispers, not able to hide the surprise in his voice.

Hux is barely able to contain himself as he sees Kylo without the mask. As he sees his surprise… his  _ happiness _ . The sparkling  _ puppy _ eyes. “The Supreme Leader decided my skills are still needed,” he answers calmly.

“I am glad to hear that,” Kylo smiles at him after assuring himself that nobody can see him. “Why didn’t you come to visit me? I thought you were dead…”

Hux sighs. “Your training starts in a few days,” he says as if it explained everything. It does in his opinion, Snoke’s words still resonating in his head as a sick and disturbing echo.

“So? It hasn’t started yet,” he points out. “I was worried, you know. Why did you do this to me?! Hux, I thought you were  _ dead _ ! Bren…” he adds, his voice barely a whisper.

The general shivers a little at the name. Looking at Ren, he actually somehow wishes he already was dead. It’s all too much. “Let’s go to my office,” he just says, trying to ignore several looks he feels he got.

“Okay…” The brunette follows him, still quite slow. After he gets to the office, he sits on Hux’s chair, looking at him. “I’m listening.”

“You’ll change…  _ pup _ ,” Hux looks at him, getting close. He caresses the scar, tracing his lips. “You are going to change…” he looks somehow shattered by the words. “I need to… we need to stop this.” It’s all the same all over again.

“No. I won’t change. No matter what will I become,  _ this _ won’t change. The way I feel towards you… It’s real. It’s gonna be the same. I promise.” Kylo pulls him closer into a kiss, feeling like everything’s falling into the right place once again.

“I… I can’t believe you…” the general shakes his head. “I want to… I…” he takes a deep breath, “I want to be with you… I hate you for that and I hate myself for that even more, but I want. But we need to stop this.”

“No!” Kylo shakes his head vehemently. “If you don’t believe me, let’s just stay together until I leave. It won’t take long anyway…” he sighs, not really wanting to leave Hux, even though he knows he has to.

“I don’t want to get even more…  _ attached _ ,” the general shakes his head, yet he doesn’t move, standing between the knight’s legs, looking at him. “Once you’ll leave…” he doesn’t finish it, but it’s quite clear.

“I’ll return,” Kylo shakes his head, knowing that Hux’s right. Of course he’ll return, he’s seen it in his dreams already. He’ll return to finish his training, to complete what he’s already started, and the general won’t come alive out of it.

“But not the same, pup. Not as… as a  _ pup _ ,” Hux shakes his head again, getting away this time, turning his back to the knight. “It’s a good thing,” he remarks.

“Trust me, whatever happens, my feelings won’t change. Whatever happens… I want you to remember this… Okay? Remember this, Bren…” Kylo pulls him back, sitting him between his legs, embracing him gently, even though the general is still showing him only his back.

“You’ll have to kill me,” Hux reminds him, actually somehow wanting him to do it right now. He starts to regret telling the younger one his real name, as it actually has quite some effect on him.

“I will…” Kylo whispers into his ear, trembling as he imagines it. “But even if I do… All this was real. If I really change… Please, don’t hate me because of that.”

Hux turns to him this time, narrowing his eyes, “I already do…” he whispers as he leans to kiss the knight.

“Then don’t…” Kylo whispers back, against his mouth, kissing the lips hungrily, biting them. “I don’t want to give you up,” he adds after a while.

“You’d rather kill me then?” it’s somehow flat, as he is not judging him by that, nor actually hoping for it. “You shouldn’t make me wait then, Ren.” This time it’s bitter. He looks Kylo in the eyes, his own somehow cold yet again. “I wanted to achieve things that no one before me was able to do…” he shakes his head. “But you came and… made it into an unreachable dream…” still, he doesn’t stop touching the knight, not able to give up the closeness.

“It was never my intention,” Kylo shakes his head. “I also wanted to finish what my grandfather started. Ironical, isn’t it?” he leans to kiss him, this time properly.

“You’ll do all that I wanted to do,” Hux frowns at him, pulling away a little. “Promise me that, you incompetent monster,” his voice is somehow tender and soft, not at all like the general’s normal voice. He may even be looking forward to Kylo Ren turning into heartless beast  _ already… finally _ . So he can get rid of this curse.

“You’ll be able to do it yourself… I won’t kill you, Bren. I couldn’t…” Kylo whispers against his ear, licking and sucking it, not having doubts about his words.

The older one let’s out a desperate, somehow sarcastic snort, shaking his head. “That’s not how this side works…” he sighs, leaning to kiss Ren in the end, passionately, as if it was supposed to be one of the last times he does so.

_ Then let’s turn light… Away from all this _ , Kylo thinks naïvely for a second, realizing that it simply can’t be done. Hux wouldn’t go with him anyway.

The general stands up properly again, to turn wholly towards the knight. “You are still so naïve and innocent, pup,” Hux examines him, traces his fingers along Ren’s new scar. “What the hell are you still doing here…?”

“You are delivering me to the supreme leader, are you not?” Kylo sighs, bringing him closer again. “Then it’s only logical that I am here…” The knight whispers against Hux’s lips, slowly penetrating them with his tongue once again.

The general lets him, enjoying the kiss, biting Kylo’s lips so he’ll have bruises on his own, bloody and such ones he won’t hide under his garments anymore. “You shouldn’t be…” he adds then.  _ You still don’t belong here… on this side, with me and Snoke… _

“What do you mean?” Kylo shivers as he feels his own blood in his mouth.

“You dream of running away and me killing you…” Hux reminds him.

“I do, sometimes… Sometimes I also dream about me killing you. And sometimes…” Kylo has to take a pause for few seconds, feeling like choking on his words again. “Sometimes I dream about the future which will never be…”

“Would you like it to be?” the older asks in strange voice, his expression unreadable.

“I think I would… I’m not a proper sith. Not yet. And if I will be, I won’t lo-“ the brunette clears his throat, realizing what he was about to say. It’s just  _ so wrong _ . He just got carried away for a moment, that’s it. He takes a deep breath and continues. “It just won’t be like this anymore… You know that.”

“I know,” Hux stands up again, getting away from him. “That’s what I’m telling you the whole time! It’s not going to be the same… I don’t want it to be the same!” he looks desperate again.

“So you would prefer me killing you?” Kylo whispers, watching him closely. “Do you really want to end it like this?”

“Like what?” the ginger looks him in the eyes. “I’m not running away with you, so what else is left?” he shakes his head.

“You can always kill me,” the other points out. “If you did, I’d be finally free of the pain. Of everything. I wouldn’t mind.” He stares at the floor, not even sure why is he telling Hux all this.

“Do you want me to kill you now?” Hux moves behind him, touching his neck, making the knight tilt his head back, looking him in the eyes again.

“Would you really do that?” Kylo whispers, slightly trembling, very sure that the general is more than capable of doing so.

The redhead bends to lick Ren’s lips, “I’d love to say that without hesitation,” he answers into his lips before kissing him hard again, squeezing his neck with his finger. But he doubt himself. He doubts he’d kill  _ the puppy _ . It’s yet another thing he hates himself for.

“You would kill me in the end,” Kylo mumbles against his mouth, not able to give up the closeness. “And it would be just right.”

“I should do it now then…” he tightens his grip a little, still not really threatening Ren’s live as the force user could get away from him any moment. He kisses his lip hard again, enjoying the power he once again feels over the puppy. He is aware that it’s not going to last and he feels somehow awfully affected. It’s disturbing. Disgusting. “You are cancerous…”

“As much as you are, Hux,” Kylo hisses into the kiss. “But don’t worry, I won’t be affecting you anymore. How many days left until we arrive?” he asks.

“Five…” the ginger answers, sighing heavily as he moves his palms to Ren’s shoulders. “Last five days,” his voice sounds broken somehow yet again, as he leans even further to embrace the knight, hiding his face in the black messy locks.

“That’s how it’s supposed to be,” Kylo shivers as he feels Hux’s hot breath on his neck, desperately needing to stay like this preferably forever. “And there’s nothing we can do about it.”  _ Since you wouldn’t leave with me anyway _ .

The older tightens his grip as if he knew what the knight is thinking about. “Well this was wrong from the very beginning,” he points out,  _ this serves us right. _

“It was. We both knew. And yet, I still cannot help it, but to be with you,” Kylo shakes his head in disbelief, utterly disgusted by what he just said. He pushes the ginger away, getting up. “I should go,” he looks at him and moves to the door. “The supreme leader wanted to talk to me anyway.”

“Go,” is the only thing Hux answers, as he sits in his own chair, not looking at the knight.

Kylo only nods, not saying anything and leaves his office in a complete silence, not daring to look at Hux anymore since he feels like choking again.

 

Hux spends most of the rest of his day in his office, going through reports on how the Starkiller was destroyed and who and how survived. He went through them already several times, but it’s somehow hard to move on completely. He raises his head tiredly, as he hears captain Phasma’s voice through the communicator behind the door.

“General? Can I come in?” she asks him through her mask. “I have several other reports about the survivals.”

He lets her in, closing the door behind her, giving her look bare of any human emotion. As if he no longer got strength for such things, as he was not used to it before, as if it was all sucked from him by Kylo Ren. “Thank you,” he only says, “I’ll go through them.”

“Of course, General. The number of survivors is higher than we expected. It will be possible to rebuild the army.”

Hux nods as he examines the reports. “Good,” he says quietly.

“General?” Phasma is watching him thoroughly. “I’m glad you were able to keep your position,” she finally adds.

“It’s only because there wasn’t anyone else suitable enough to take it,” he shrugs his shoulders, not looking at the woman.

“Perhaps,” the captain replies. “But I am still glad it didn’t happen. But… are you alright, General? After everything that’s happened? I mean… the explosion of the Starkiller… the week at Ren’s space shuttle… You look shattered.”

“I am not alright, Phasma,” Hux answers as he looks at her, tired. “What do you want to hear from me? I didn’t even expect to be here anymore now. Did you bet on that as well? Whether they’ll kill me?” he shakes his head taking a deep breath. He doesn’t want to take his anger on the captain.

“We didn’t, General. Actually… we were worried about you. And I still am.”

“Well, eventually, I’m still going to get killed by Ren. You’ll have to get prepared for that,” for a fleeting moment he even sounds as if he wanted to talk to someone about it.

“I’m not surprised,” Phasma sighs. “Is there anything to be done about it? Or is it already decided?” She seems to be talking with a great interest, like she really cares about it.

“He may turn to the enemy, to become one of them,” he doesn’t know why he talks about that with her. “Shall that happen, I’ll kill him. But that is not likely to happen,” he adds. “This… this whole  _ thing _ between us was wrong from the very beginning… I’ll atone for my failures.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, sir,” the woman sighs, feeling that Hux is feeling like shit, wishing she had means to help him. “But you were unable to help yourself, were you not?”

He looks at her, examining the helmet, with somehow surprised expression. “That I was unable to help myself makes it all just worse,” he point out with another sigh. “Why would you be sorry?” he tilts his head to a side then, “don’t make me look even more pitiful…” he frowns.

“I have told you before, sir. I like you. You are an excellent general. The fact you are still alive proves it.” Phasma’s thoughts are unreadable under the mask, not leaving Hux with any hint of what she’s really thinking about.

“Don’t like me…” he shakes his head. “Respect me, fear me, hate me… but don’t like me.”

“I do respect you, sir,” Phasma replies. “But I could never hate you.”

“I guess I hate myself enough for the whole ship now,” he nods. “Don’t you have duties to attend to?” he realizes how desperately hopeless he must look to her now.

“I do,” she nods back at him. “I apologize, sir.” She salutes him and turns around to leave, not wanting to piss Hux off.

The general leans to his chair with tired sigh as he watches her leave. Snoke was right, this is much worse punishment.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I won't even comment on the delay anymore...  
> poor Hux, he could have been the emperor~

Meanwhile Kylo spends several hours on the meeting with the Supreme Leader, who decided to start his training as soon as possible – which means even before he leaves the Finalizer. He is showing him several dark side methods of the Force usage, letting him spend the rest of the meeting in meditation, since the knight is still too weak to train with the sword. After Kylo is finally relieved, he is returning to his quarters, not actually wanting to see anyone. The meditation did him good and his confused mind is starting to be under Snoke’s influence once again. As he’s heading to his quarters, deep in his thoughts, he sees Hux standing in the corridor and talking to several Stormtroopers. He stops, staring at him, remembering everything what the Supreme Leader told to him.

As the ginger finishes his little speech, he turns to leave, only to see the knight standing in his way. The fact Ren is here can only mean that he was with Snoke the whole time. He notices there’s already something a little different about his puppy eyes, the scar on his face only bringing it out more. He doesn’t talk to him as he goes by, looking sternly in front of himself.

“General,” the brunette nods, but otherwise stands still, examining Hux thoroughly.

“Ren,” the older says as goes around him. He unconsciously bites his lip, which only reminds him of what they did, the bruises from Kylo’s kisses still there.

The knight doesn’t move an inch, even though he notices the nervous gesture the ginger did. He’s watching the general to pass him by without any other words, turning to retreat to his quarters himself. Snoke was right after all. No matter what happens, they will part. And sooner than they’ve thought.

The general reaches his own quarters, closing the door behind him, feeling somehow relieved that he’s already here and he can get some rest. It’s awfully hard now, bearing all the judging looks he gets from under all the masks – no matter if it’s because of the Starkiller failure or the affair with Ren. And the knight drifting away already doesn’t help him, even though Hux tries to convince himself it’s for the best. After getting a taste of Ren’s lips again, he’s back to it, cursed all over again. Even this morning, Kylo would go right after him, wouldn’t he?

The general moves to the bathroom to clean himself before having a smoke, maybe a drink and going to the bed.

Meanwhile the knight himself returns to his own quarters, feeling satisfied to be in the familiar surroundings again. He meditates for another hour, getting rid of the general inside of his mind for a while completely. As he reaches this point, he feels relieved not to care anymore. He gets up and goes to take a shower, changing into his pajama pants, lying into his bed. Alone. It’s comfortable and exactly the way it’s supposed to be. He feels tired, the training with Snoke exhausted him more than he expected. After a while he falls into an uneasy sleep, not missing the ginger man at all.

…

Hux gets abruptly awoken by the sound of someone banging on his door. He recognizes it right away and he is shocked by his own reaction – was he actually _hoping_ for something like this? He certainly should feel more pissed off – shocked to the point where he actually contemplates to ignore it for several seconds. Yet he gets out of the bed in the end, trying to convince himself he is not fucking _happy_ about Kylo coming, as he opens the door. He doesn’t even know what the younger one wants.

“Hux,” Kylo says in quite a shaken voice. “Can I come in for a while? It won’t take long.”

The general examines him, letting him in right away. “Did you dream about something again?” he asks, stopping himself from stretching his hand to caress the knight’s cheek as the door shuts behind Ren.

Kylo nods, his face pale and sweaty. “I cannot sleep,” he whispers. “I apologize for disturbing you. I swear it won’t happen again.”  _ Or at least I hope it won’t _ .

“You should take a shower,” the older one points out, “you are shaking all over,” he goes right to his bedroom, expecting Ren to follow. “Even if it did happen again, after five days you won’t be here anymore to come to me,” he just shrugs his shoulders. Tries not to let any kind of emotion be heard in his voice.

“I know,” Kylo nods. “That’s why I didn’t want to come here at all…” he whispers, afraid of being too attached to the general. Afraid how much will it hurt after he reaches his final destination.

“Yet, here you are…” Hux only sighs, turning to him, examining him. In the end, he takes one of Ren’s hands. “Do you want to take the shower or not?” he asks as he looks at his fingers.

“Yes, please. It will calm me down. I should probably get used to it, since this will be the only way to soothe myself once I leave,” he adds.

“You claimed you can manage so well on your own before you started coming here…” the ginger points out as he lets the younger male into his bathroom. He lets go of his hand, standing by the door, trying to stay as distant as he can.

“It was easier before,” the knight sighs as he pulls down his training robes, standing completely naked before Hux, getting into the shower.

“It will be again, won’t it?” the general shakes his head, not moving an inch. “You came here and did all this to me, infected me, poisoned me and cursed me, made me into  _ this _ … and you’ll just leave to come back who knows when, finally the cold and deadly monster you were supposed to be from the very beginning, just to kill me…” he bites his lip, “what the fuck…” he has to look away. He is tired and feels somehow vulnerable and it makes him sick.

“I will,” Ren nods, not even turning to look at the general. “It’s all true. My training has already begun… It was sooner than I expected,” he whispers. “I did not predict that…”

“I know it…” he doesn’t even want to admit that. “I can see it in you.” He feels so fucking  _ weak _ . “I know you so fucking well, Ren!” he want to shout, but it comes out quiet and hoarse, a shattered cry for help. “I close my eyes and I see your fucking puppy face!” he’s breaking. He can hear the cracking of his world, the shards falling all around. He’s been hearing it for weeks already. Ever since the the explosion of Starkiller. “And I can’t even do anything about it…” his hands are shaking as he clenches them into fists. “Take the shower and leave me be…” he chokes out as he leaves the bathroom, going to smoke and drink again. He does that awfully often these days, to the point where the smell may really stick to his uniforms. But he doesn’t care anymore. It doesn’t really matter what he does - Snoke keeps him alive only to make Kylo kill him once the time is right. Only to use him to destroy the last pieces of a soul in the  _ boy. _ It’s all so fucked up. The worst part is, he himself shouldn’t even have a soul. Yet, he’s afraid, he can somehow feel it aching like nothing ever before.

Meanwhile the brunette takes the shower, staying there for an awfully long time. He sits into the cold bath, remembering how they were here together and something is breaking even in him. It’s still too soon to forget how good it felt. He lets the hot water pour on his head, feeling too weak to get up and to face Hux once more. And then, he suddenly realizes he’s crying. Everything hurts so much again, the hours of meditation were completely useless. Kylo just keeps sitting there for long minutes, sobbing and shaking, only wanting to finally disappear from the Finalizer, from Hux’s life. Just to disappear completely and to never come back.

After two cigarettes, Hux gets up again, to go to look at the Master of the Knights of Ren against all his better judgement. He’s been there for quite a long time already and the last thing Hux needs, or wants is the monster drowned in his bathtub. “Disease…” he chokes out, his throat tight as he sees Kylo. He feels as if he’s never been so shattered, as he stands at the doors, looking at the cancerous beast, battling with his own self whether he should leave or not. Of course he has to choose the worse option as he gets closer, kneeling next to the tub. “Why…?” he manages to whisper shakily.

“Bren…” The knight raises his eyes, looking him into the face. “I’m so sorry…” he whispers, sobbing again, not even knowing why he’s apologizing. Perhaps because he knows he’s fucked up the general’s life as much as he could. And his own as well.

“I hate you so much…” the ginger says, “you have no idea,” he shakes his head before leaning to kiss Kylo tenderly. It feels so familiar it makes him sick.

The knight gulps, pulling Hux hysterically closer, embracing him, making him soaking wet too. He’s kissing him passionately, moaning into his mouth, his hands clenching Hux’s top to prevent himself from shaking.

The general gets inside the bathtub as well, regardless of his clothes, kissing Kylo almost all the time.

“Bren…” Kylo whispers, embracing him tight. “You still have your clothes on… you’ll get wet…” he pulls him closer as he states another obvious thing, turning him around, sitting him between his legs again so Hux’s back is facing Kylo’s belly now, laying his head on the ginger’s shoulder, enjoying the warmth and the closeness.

“I’m already wet…” Hux tilts his head backwards, closing his eyes, just completely exhausted by all of this. He doesn’t even has the strength to undress now, Kylo taking everything from him once more. “Why’d you cry…?”

“I just couldn’t help it…” the knight whispers. “I don’t wanna be without you. I don’t wanna leave you. And yet, after a week I will be gone…”

“Not even a week…” the older one points out, finding Ren’s hands to entangle their fingers. “What have you made me into, pup…?” he’s almost shaking, fighting all the emotions.

“I do not know… I am terrified of it myself. I never wanted this in the first place. You were right. I was young and stupid, too  _ innocent  _ in a way, not knowing anything about…  _ this _ . You shouldn’t have let me so close in the first place…” he whispers into his ear, gently biting its tip, his voice shaking again.

“You are still too  _ innocent _ . You training may has already begun, but one days isn’t enough to kill the puppy inside you…” Hux gulps, then takes a deep breath before turning to face him. “I’ll miss him,” he admits, barely hearable. “I’ll miss the pup,” he whispers as he kisses him again.

Kylo feels tears filling his eyes again. “I’m so sorry… I never wanted to do this to you. If I could, I would change it… For you. I wish you would become the Emperor…” The brunette smiles, caressing Hux’s cheek. “You would be a good one. Without me…”

“My whole life would be perfect without you,” the general stretches one hand to wipe the tears off Kylo’s face with a thumb, tracing the scar and then his soft lips. “I wouldn’t feel anything…” he bites his lip. “You’ll have to do it all on your own… Snoke’s going to get you rid of feelings soon enough after all.”

“I don’t want him to…” Kylo whispers. “I don’t want to become the kind of a person who doesn’t care he kills you. I couldn’t…” his voice completely silent.

“I wouldn’t forgive you, if you failed once more,” the ginger says in shaking voice, almost choking on a sob himself. There’s too many things he’d like to say but can’t. He wants to keep his devotion to the Order perfect to the very end. He doesn’t want to doubt at least that. “You… you should have thought about that before…” he adds anyway, his fingers shaking on Kylo’s skin.

“The problem is that I’m unable to think while being with you,” Kylo shakes his head. “And I don’t even want to,” he adds, his voice shaking terribly, sobbing again.

Hux turns around to bring him into an embrace, remembering the time he first called him pup. He has to close his eyes, “you are so fucking unfair,” he whispers, getting choked on his words as he tries to keep his voice calm.

“The dark side isn’t fair,” Kylo chuckles bitterly. “We know that both.” He traces his fingers on Hux’s cheek, slowly getting up even though his legs are still slightly shaking. “Get up…” he whispers as he notices the general shaking because of the wet clothes. “You’ll be sick again at this rate.”

“What’s so unfair about you is the light,” the ginger shakes his head and he does as he is told, getting up and leaving the bathtub. He slowly undresses, leaving the wet clothes on his floor, bringing Kylo close again.  _ I could even believe it’s contagious _ .

“I haven’t chosen it, you know,” the brunette frowns as he hides himself in Hux’s chest again. “Let’s go to bed. You’re trembling…” he whispers, licking his skin.

“You should do something with the injury first,” the ginger says, frowning at Ren’s side. There’s a terrible scar and it still doesn’t look like it’s healed. “It should still be bandaged,” he says.

“I took it off before the shower,” Kylo shrugs. “And I thought it’s not so bad to be bandaged again. I’m fine, Bren,” he kisses his lips, enjoying their specific taste. “Don’t worry about it.”

It still feels somehow strange, much more tender and full of feelings, being called by that name. Every time the general hears it, something dies in him, realising that it’s not going to last. Realising, that it shouldn’t even be in the first place. Over and over again. “How am I supposed to leave the Order to you - you can’t even take care of yourself…” he shakes his head. “I’ll bandage it for you…” he looks in the puppy eyes, almost feeling like really crying as he sees Kylo’s expression. It would be the first time since his  _ childhood _ . He kisses Ren passionately to get rid of it.

“I will heal myself,” Kylo whispers between the kisses. “I can do it myself, if you let me…” The knight feels Hux’s emotions, gulping, his chin starting to shake. No, he can’t cry again! Hux is right - how is he supposed to leave the First Order to such a crybaby?!

Hux shakes his head, taking a deep breath. “I want to do it, pup…” he whispers, tracing his fingers over the scar, so slightly he almost isn’t even touching it. “I still… still have last five days when you are mine, don’t I?” as he looks back at the puppy, biting his own lip hard, his eyes glisten slightly with tears. But he would never let them further.

“You have,” the taller one nods, a slight smile appearing on his lips. “But tell me… Why do you want to do it? Why do you want to heal me? Why… why did you save me in the first place if you knew I was going to kill you?” he keeps whispering feverishly, wondering about it from the time he regained consciousness on his Imperial shuttle.

“Because I wouldn’t betray my cause,” there’s a slight pause. “And because I’m yours as well, pup. And I’ll be until the very end… I have no fucking sorcery to make me undo all of this,” he blinks several times to get rid of the haziness in his eyes. It’s probably the closest thing to a confession he has ever told anyone. The closest thing he will ever tell. “I hate you…” he whispers, turning around to look through his drawers to find a bandage. If he didn’t, he may really start crying.

“Even if you did, the Force doesn’t work that way,” Kylo replies silently, his voice flat. “But if you did, it would make everything much more interesting… Once I return… I wish you’d have a chance to fight me back. The power to stop me, to kill and destroy me at last.”

“Stop making me feel even more pathetic…” Hux finds the bandage, but still he doesn’t turn back.

“I never said you were,” The knight replies immediately. “In a way, you are much more capable than I will ever be. Being a Force user is not always an advantage.”

“You are not helping…” the older just shakes his head, turning back to face him. “Let’s go to bed,” he says, “I’ll do it there,” he adds, somehow not wanting to look like he expects the knight to spend the night. Which he does.

“Okay…” Kylo shivers as he feels Hux’s fingers on his, just the tiniest gentle touch. As he sits on his bed, he exhales as the familiar scent surrounds him. It’s so good to be back. The knight wishes he would stay, but deep inside knows he can’t. His training starts soon in the morning and the Supreme Leader insisted him to spend all of his nights alone, to focus on what’s coming when he arrives.

As the general sits next, he examines him for a while before starting. He has seen and done such things in the past - he was on the battlefield after all. He has seen much worse. “Do you eat properly already?” he asks, because Kylo still looks sickly weak.

“I’m trying to…” the brunette sighs. It’s gotten better since the time spent on the Imperial Shuttle, but he still hasn’t been able to get into an optimal condition. “You really don’t have to worry, Bren.”

“I do…” the ginger sighs. “I really wonder sometimes how did you survive for so long…” he works mechanically, but he still steals touches, caressing Kylo’s skin, enjoying the closeness. He hates himself for not wanting to let the knight go.

“You know… somehow I’m glad you do care. It feels nice to finally have someone to care about again. And to have someone who cares about me.” For a moment a slight smile appears on his lips, only to disappear a second later. He can’t let this continue. It’s diseased, sick and wrong. This is a fucking  _ dark side  _ after all. “Are you done?” he adds after a while, once again trying to reciprocate as least touches as possible, knowing that if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to leave at all.

It takes a little while longer for the general to finish, but he doesn’t speak, somehow feeling what Kylo is thinking about. Hux knows exactly how it is - he may even be doing it as a revenge for all the times the puppy eyes didn’t let him leave, as he caresses Ren’s cheek, leaning to lick the beautiful pale lips. “Done…” he whispers.

“Thank you,” Kylo caresses him back, but quickly retreats and gets up. “I should go then…” he clears his throat, feeling awkward again.

The general takes his hand, bringing him back and making him lie, “no…” he whispers, his voice trembling again a little, as he moves to imprison Kylo there with his own body. “You are still mine for the last five days…” it sound bitter and desperate, Hux hates himself for the tone.

“I can’t…” the brunette whispers, tears forming in his eyes again. “Please, let me go. I shouldn't even be here… I was strictly ordered to concentrate on my training. To leave my chambers only when necessary…” he shakes his head desperately, turning away, not able to stand looking at Hux anymore.

“Then you shouldn’t have come in the first place,” seeing the puppy’s eyes watery with tears, makes the general feel so lost he’s choking on his words again. “Or did you come to break me even more to leave like this? You can… even in this state, you can get away from me with ease, can’t you?” his voice is hoarse and his hands are trembling once more.

Kylo just shakes his head again, shutting his eyes tight, feeling like killing himself right on the spot. “You’re right… I shouldn’t have come here…” he whispers in a shaking voice, hating Snoke for this, starting to feel suspicious that this was his plan all along.

“Go…” Hux chokes out, feeling just the worst. He moves away, sitting on the bed, suddenly awfully aware of his own nakedness. “Go, if you so much want to, and never fucking come even close to my quarters ever again, you lying bastard…” his voice is trembling terribly, just as his whole body, his back jerking as he tries to regain at least some calmness - failing miserably. “You fucking cancerous monster,” he hides his face in his hand.

Kylo gets up and examines the ginger thoroughly. Could he be… crying? He shakes that thought out of his head. It’s not the style of the cold emotionless man the general is. Kylo slowly returns to the bathroom for his training robes, starting to put them on, feeling like jumping out of the window if Hux’s bathroom had any.

The ginger gets up as well, trying awfully hard not to really cry, as he feels like bursting out in crying and  _ shouting _ any moment. He opens the closet to take out a top, not really caring how it looks or how long it is as he puts it on, giving up on the pants. He smacks the closet door back the most forceful way he can muster, almost breaking it, as he goes to the kitchen.  _ Everything about the fucking Knight of Ren is contagious, everything! _ he thinks, as he throws a glass against the wall, drinking right from the bottle. With shaking hands he tries to light up a cigarette, making it only on sixth or seventh try, kicking a cupboard door so hard he actually breaks it - the knight in the bathroom must hear it as well. “Die, you fucking curse,” he shouts out in a hoarse voice which turns into a coughs because of the cigarette smoke.

Kylo hears the noise coming out of the kitchen, running there as fast as he can. The scene he sees finally makes him fully aware of what he’s done - he’s managed to destroy Hux completely. He is just staring at him in a shock, not able to do anything.

Hux leans against the table, taking a deep puff of his cigarette. He actually has two single tears running down his cheeks - he takes them as tears of anger. “Get the fuck away from here, if you can’t even keep your promises,” he growls, looking around, trying to find something to throw at the knight.

“Promises?” the brunette stares at him stupidly, not quite sure what the general means. “Which promises?” he whispers silently, wanting to embrace him and to comfort him, but he’s afraid it might not be the best idea right now, since the ginger seems to be outraged.

Hux grabs the bottle of rum in the end, only a little regretting that he will have less to drink himself to death with later, as he throws it at Ren as hard as he can. “You’ve told me you are mine! You told me I have the last fucking five days. These are  _ the last fucking five days of my life _ !” he takes another deep puff, shaky and  _ burning _ . “You have no idea how dreadfully much I hate you for  _ everything _ !”

Kylo has no problems to dodge it and the bottle hits the kitchen wall, making a total disaster in the general’s usually perfectly neat quarters. He finally understands everything and without thinking he moves to grab now almost insane Hux to push him against the nearest wall, pressing his lips against his.

“Get away…” the ginger whispers weakly into his mouth, contradicting his words as he lets his cigarette fall on the floor and embraces the monster to pull him closer. “Go back to your fucking sorcery… I’ve lost  _ everything  _ already, I don’t want to feel like this anymore… I want to drink myself to death already…” even as he says that between the kisses, he moves his hands under Ren’s robes,  _ needing _ him so  _ hard _ .

“I’ve never realized you’d possibly need me as much as I need you…” Kylo whispers against his mouth. “You were always so detached… assuring me you don’t need me,” he shivers, moving his hands into Hux’s hair. “I never meant to hurt you this way. I will stay then, if you want me to. Because I do want to spend the last days with you too,” he keeps whispering, licking Hux’s lips while talking, not able to get enough of him.

“You stupid shit…” Hux whispers, kissing him fiercely, biting and demanding, bruising Ren’s lips, drawing out blood. “How dare you say such things now…”

“Because I didn’t know before how stupid I was…” Kylo hisses in pain as his lips are starting to burn, pulling Hux closer and closer. “I never wanted to leave anyway…”

“Yet, you tried,” the general changes their positions, pushing Ren against the table, forcing himself between his legs. “I don’t want to believe you,” his hands are shaking, as he maps Kylo’s skin with his fingers. He knows it so well already.

“I was given strict orders. You are a military man, you must understand! What would  _ you  _ do in my place?! Tell me, wouldn’t you at least try not to disobey? The Supreme Leader is the only one I’m bound to obey...” Kylo is kissing him passionately, feeling how hysterically his body reacts. He’s starting to feel himself hardening already, all will to leave has left him the moment their lips crushed together.

Hux unties Ren’s training robes, pressing his body against Kylo’s, even though he is still kind of careful about the injury. “It’s all your fault for coming here…” he whispers, not really wanting to have this conversation, as he - general Hux of all people - neglected his duties several times because of this walking horror. And he surely doesn’t want to hear anything about Snoke right now. He moves his hands to Ren’s neck, his gentle caresses changing into almost gripping, still kissing the younger one passionately.

Kylo is quietly moaning between the kisses, gasping for air as Hux’s mouth is taking precisely what it wants, pushing the tongue so deep into the knight’s throat that he feels like being devoured. The feeling is surprisingly good. The brunette himself is jerking his hips against the ginger’s ones, trying to create some tension on his hardening member.

The general ravishes his mouth for a little while longer, tasting Ren’s blood and enjoying every little bit of it. It takes him another several moments before moving to kiss and bite the younger’s neck, moving one hand to caress his body. He’s getting aroused quite quickly as well, his body remembering everything about Kylo’s and reacting as if he’s never  _ tasted _ anything better. It may be true.

“I want you… so much!” is everything the brunette is able to get out of his mouth, stopping to control himself the moment his penis is fully hard. He’s pulling the general closer and closer until they both fall on the table with a loud thud. Kylo keeps gripping Hux’s hair convulsively, making them all ruffled and messy. “You look hot like this…” he whispers, not able to help himself.

“Broken and messy?” Hux asks somehow bitterly, pulling away to get rid of Kylo’s underwear and his own top. As he gets back to the knight, he rubs his own erection against Ren’s, the younger one’s body so hot and  _ welcoming _ .

The knight shouts out as the general finally frees his member, the skin to skin contact on his most sensitive parts of the body is driving him insane. He lifts his legs, slightly hissing in pain, but wraps them around the general’s back, sickly hoping to feel the ginger  _ inside  _ of him as soon as possible.

“You are far from broken, Bren…” Kylo shivers, trying his best to  _ think _ . “Besides, I love you being messy…”

“I’m broken beyond repair…” Hux wants to be inside him too. He’s craving to devour the brunette, to be in him, to  _ feel _ him, to  _ connect _ . But he realizes that he cannot overdo it - yet they are still doing it here, on a kitchen table, even though Kylo’s injured and Hux isn’t even able to get him to bed, because it is  _ too far _ . “Wait a little,” the general whispers hastily, as he salivates his own fingers, making Ren move one his leg a little to be able to prepare him.

“Uh huh…” Kylo only mumbles, his eyes widening as he sees what the general is doing, feeling like he’d do anything for him right now. “Want you…” he whimpers after a while, digging his nails into Hux’s pale skin on his neck as he’s trying to reach his lips to kiss him.

The older one leans over him to kiss him passionately, spreading him as fast as he can without actually hurting him. When he adds third finger, he bites Ren’s lip hard, shivering as the hot body underneath him is sucking him in,  _ demanding _ . “I want you too,” he whispers, “I don’t ever want to let you go…” he spits on his fingers again, as he gets them out, to add more saliva before penetrating the knight with his own member.

Kylo is writhing under him, biting his lips back, wanting the general to be marked as his own, only his, forever. He keeps moving his hips to meet the ginger’s fingers, suddenly feeling empty and abandoned without them. “Take me…” he whispers, shutting his eyes tight, his breath coming out in quick shudders.

And Hux does take him, filling him with ferocious need, growling into his skin, digging his fingers into Ren’s thighs. He barely realizes anymore that he should pay more attention to the brunette’s injury, the lust, the want and all the  _ fucking feelings _ taking over.

Kylo shouts out as he feels the hard flesh inside of him again, crying out in pleasure, because of the fact that he actually feels complete once more. Even though the injury hurts, he doesn’t realize it, the only thoughts occupying his mind are concerning the general and his penis.

Hux stops for a while, as he fills him all the way up to the hilt, enjoying the sensation, drowning in it, giving them both time to get used to it. But he doesn’t wait for long before starting to move, gripping one of Ren’s hips forcefully to take full control over him once more. For one of the last times. Maybe last - he doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to know. It’s still wonderful, it’s much better than anything else in the whole world,  _ intoxicating _ . Just as much as it is the worst, the sweet poison of Ren’s presence killing Hux gradually.

Kylo is drowning in Hux, in every single part of him. He needs him as much as air, even though he knows this feeling won’t last. As he’s moving his hips to meet the general’s ones, he wishes for this moment never to end, to stay like this, connected forever.

The ginger moves one hand to Ren’s crotch, jerking him off, Hux’s thrusts frantic with the closing climax. He brings them to the edge almost at the same time, releasing deep into Kylo’s body, muffling his own low moans in the beast’s beautiful lips.

The brunette is trying to catch his breath, his head starting to swirl again. As the postorgasmic haze is slowly leaving him, he can no longer ignore the stabbing pain in his side. This sex was perhaps too much for him, as they were not able to control themselves in the slightest, having the intercourse on the table in the destroyed kitchen. Kylo still doesn’t dare to open his eyes, grasping Hux’s torso convulsively.

“Sorry…” the general whispers, caressing Kylo’s face carefully, as he himself is slowly getting back to reality, realizing that he didn’t hold back even a little. He pulls away just to take the knight into his arms to move him to his own bed.

“Don’t be…” the brunette whispers, a small tired smile appearing on his lips. “It was amazing,” he breathes out, raising his hand to caress Hux’s cheek.

“Yes…” Hux nods slightly, as he puts Ren on the bed, leaning to kiss him tenderly. “It was amazing…” Like this, with tired and injured Kylo next to him on one bed, it almost feels like back on Ren’s shuttle. “I’ll play for you,” he says quietly, “you wanted to hear more, didn’t you?”

The knight finally fully opens his eyes. “I did. Please, I want to hear. It was beautiful…” he smiles, kissing Hux once again.

The general caresses his lips with a thumb, as he examines Kylo’s features, narrowing his eyes. The rage has seemingly all left him already and when he looks into the puppy eyes, he almost smiles, wondering whether he’d let himself be cursed all over again, if he had a choice. “Fine…” he breathes out somehow resignedly, as he stands up to go back to the kitchen to put at least the top on and to wash his hands.

“Thank you…” Kylo whispers, closing his eyes, waiting for Hux to return in silence. This is just  _ so nice. This _ . And then, for a millionth time he wishes he would just leave everything with the general behind, to run away from all of their problems, from Snoke and the Resistance, from the Dark and the Light.

When the older one returns, he sits behind the piano right away, looking at Ren for a while before starting to play a sad, slow melody. It fits the mood just perfectly.

Kylo opens his eyes, looking at the general playing. He is staring at his beautiful long fingers, feeling butterflies in his stomach as he imagines where he had them a while ago. The brunette wants to get up and to go to Hux, to embrace him again as he did the first time, but then he realizes it’s probably not the best idea since his injury  _ really  _ hurts, so he’s just watching in complete silence, enjoying every second of the melancholic tunes coming from the piano.

As the general finishes, he looks at Kylo again, feeling like dying once more. He takes a deep breath as he gets up, moving to him. “We should get some sleep,” he only whispers.

“This was amazing too,” Kylo smiles, kissing him gently. “I could listen to you all day… Where did you get the piano anyway?”

Hux silently gets to the bed next to Ren, careful not to touch his injury or make him move in any way that would hurt. He is silent for a while longer, as if he was remembering, hesitating to talk about such things. “I inherited it….” he answers in the end, quiet, not looking at Kylo. “It’s awfully old… i got it from my mother…” he admits in the end, frowning at the sentimentality in such statement.

“Your mother?” Kylo raises an eyebrow, snuggling to him, entwining their fingers. “You liked her.” It’s not a question, but a statement.

“She was my mother…” is the only answer Hux gives to such a remark. “She… she was actually too nice person for all of this. She was capable of love…” he breathes out, not really happy about remembering such things now. He shouldn’t even be saying such things. He strengthens his grip on Kylo’s hand, hiding his face in his hair.

“What’s happened to her?” the brunette asks him silently as he sees how deeply is the general moved just by talking about her. He pulls him closer and kisses his forehead.

“She killed herself,” the general says in a hollow voice, trying not to be affected. He didn’t really recall that for a long time. “I was told she killed herself,” he adds then, something he too never said to anyone before. “I was at the academy at that time… I was only told she started to sympathize with the Republic, talked about it, then went crazy and killed herself…” deep down, he never really believed it. Deep down he knew she was killed by the military, maybe by his father himself. Or maybe she just couldn’t stand it anymore and really did so herself, was forced to do so. Hux always blamed the Republic. “I don’t really care anymore,” even he realises it sounds like a lie.

“You do. You loved your mother…” Kylo is watching each of his reactions, not even needing to use the Force to tell that Hux is lying. “That’s why you love the piano so much… If you didn’t care, you’d never get so attached to it.”

“I’m not capable of love…” the older one only shakes his head.  _ Even though I probably fell in love so hopelessly, _ he frowns at the idea, feeling something in his throat choking him again.

“But you were. Everyone is at the beginning. Every child loves its mother. Ben Solo used to love his mother too. But it was a long time ago,” Kylo whispers, not able to stop kissing Hux’s forehead.

“Stop it, Ren,” the general tries to say, but it sounds weak and broken again. He’s had enough already, enough of all of this pain. “I’m sure  _ Ben Solo _ still loves her…” he whispers.

Kylo keeps silent for a while, as to consider what to say. Indeed Ben Solo did love his mother… But he was young and childish, to love a mother who cared about the Rebellion more than about his own son. “Ben Solo probably would still love her…And he was a fool,” he says at last. “But he’s dead now. I destroyed him years ago.”

“He is not…” Hux feels weak and sick, as he realizes, that  _ Ben Solo is the pup _ . “But he will be in a few weeks…” he closes his eyes painfully.

“What do you mean, Hux?” Kylo’s eyes widen once more.

“Let it be…” the older one just shakes his head, feeling as if he would say something really terrible, if he were to keep talking.

“Bren… Tell me what you mean. Please.” The knight keeps whispering tenderly, very well aware of the fact he’d be more than capable of extracting the thought from Hux’s head by Force. He just doesn’t want to use it against the ginger. Nor he needs to.

“You are not capable of killing Ben Solo,” Hux whispers in the end, biting his lip. “He may be weak, but he’s still here, I’ve met him several times…” his voice is barely hearable, as he moves one hand to Kylo’s chest. “I know you too well for that,” he swallows. “But he will die, Snoke will take care of that. Ben Solo will die with me and it will make my death worth it…”

“You’ve met him?” The knight exhales, starting to tremble as he realizes that Hux is right. Deep inside Ben Solo is screaming, crying for returning to the Light. But the boy is too weak and soon he will die. “What is he like?” Kylo asks silently, embracing the general as tight as possible with the injuries.

_ I fell in love with Ben Solo _ . Hux closes his eyes, exhaling deeply, embracing Kylo just as tight. “He is nothing like the monster Kylo Ren is…” he whispers. “Just a pup… innocent, incompetent… he deserves to disappear for all that he’s done…”

“Kylo Ren has done much worse things. Why is it Ben Solo you wish to see dead so much?” the knight traces his hand up and down Hux’s back without even thinking about it.

“Kylo Ren is a monster that would help the First Order,” the ginger whispers, feeling goosebumps on his skin under the gentle touch. “Ben Solo destroyed my life and made me  _ feel _ .”

“And yet, if it depended only on you, you’d still prefer the incompetent child…” Ren whispers, wishing to finally get rid of his feelings as he starts to understand. The tenderness in the general’s voice while speaking about Ben Solo is breaking his heart, not even having a single idea that his sentiments don’t differ from Hux’s ones.

“By now… maybe I would… were we somewhere else at some different time…” Hux leans to give Ren a deep kiss.

And Kylo kisses him back, not asking anything anymore, fully satisfied with what he’s just heard. “If we were somewhere else at some different time, Ben Solo would fall in love with you… But not like this. Ben Solo is dying, not having strength to love anymore. You said it yourself. You said yourself that he is dying, more and more with each passing day, as  _ I _ am getting stronger.”

“That’s how it’s supposed to be…” the general closes his eyes, “sleep…  _ pup _ ,” he whispers, not sure if he even said it loud enough for the knight to hear it.

Kylo only nods, snuggled to Hux’s warm torso. He’s very sure Snoke won’t be pleased and he’ll definitely hear his complaints tomorrow. But now he just can’t force himself to care anymore. It doesn’t take long until he falls asleep, even though not admitting it even to himself, feeling comfortable and safe in the general’s arms.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry... This was supposed to be out so much sooner. But a lot of things has happened and a lot of plans probably went to hell with them... which actually means that there probably won't be two endings in the end as well as that there's no beta for now. Sorry again, I'll try to upload as often as possible...

Hux douses a cigarette with a deep sigh, looking tired. He looks like that all these past few days, balancing just barely on the edge of sanity, being driven more and more mad by Kylo Ren. It’s just subtle for now - probably subdued by the ginger himself as well - but he can see the puppy finally turning into the monster it was supposed to be for the whole time and it’s affecting him. And he hates them both for that. The crew still tries to look like nothing happened and nothing is happening - just as much as the general when he is trying to do his work - but everyone sees that he’s changed after the explosion of the Starkiller. And everyone probably wishes them both gone already.

He gets up, moving to the piano to play. It calms him down, gives him a chance to escape from everything for a moment. He doesn’t even turn around as he hears the main door to his quarters being opened. The only one else who knows - who was given - the password is Ren and no one else would come anyway for whatever reason they could come up with.

Kylo stays silent as he hears the sound of the piano, standing next to it. The melody is still sad, but as beautiful as ever. He knows this is probably the last time he hears it, so he’s savoring every single moment, every single tone, every single look at Hux’s hands pressing the keys with such ease the knight would almost say he’d have to be able to play it too. So easy it looks and yet the melody is so complex. He’s waiting for the general to finish, not wanting to disturb such a beautiful scenery.

It takes another several minutes for Hux to finish the song he’s playing, but once his hands stop, he doesn’t move to look at Kylo. He doesn’t move at all, somehow unable to do it right away. He knows the puppy would already be by his side,  _ kneeling _ even. He already misses it and he doesn’t even have the strength left to be angry about it. “When exactly are you leaving?” he asks quietly.

“As soon as we arrive,” Kylo answers, still not moving an inch, not sounding puppy like at all. “It depends on when will it be.”

The general turns to him, stretching his hands towards Ren. “Come here, monster…”

“I am not a monster,” Kylo shakes his head, but still doesn’t move at all. “Not yet…” he whispers, barely to be heard.

“What then, Ren?” the older one’s still extending his hands, looking up to Kylo. “You are not the puppy anymore. You are not even my knight anymore…”

“I am, for the last night… Enjoy it while it still lasts, Hux.” He finally kneels in front of the general to embrace him. “Tomorrow I will be gone… And your knight will never return.”

The ginger doesn’t answer, as there is nothing to say anymore. It’s true and they both know it. He only embraces him back, connecting their lips in a deep, tender kiss, as if he had nothing else to hold onto. He doesn’t.

Kylo jerks away after a moment, feeling like the soft warm lips of the general were burning him. Hux was right after all. He is slowly turning into a monster. “Soon I will be prepared to construct a new lightsaber…” He says, not even sure why, feeling like having nothing else to say anymore.

“Why are you telling me?” Hux looks away for a moment, not able to stop himself from saying such things. “You’ll show me once you come to kill me…” the words taste bitter on his tongue. He’s actually surprised that Kylo is here at all. He wouldn’t expect Snoke to let him go. Wouldn’t expect the monster to come on its own… maybe there are still last drops of  _ his _ knight’s  _ soul _ really left. “You can’t even kiss me properly anymore…” he takes a deep breath.

“It hurts…” Kylo whispers, almost not able to properly hear it himself, tracing his hand through the ginger’s hair.

“I’m glad…” Hux says, closing his eyes for a moment. “I’m glad it hurts you, I hope it hurts you as much as me…” he leans to kiss him again, moving one hand to Ren’s neck, caressing the places he remembers to be sensitive, his touches tender.

The knight shakes his head, slightly irritated as if unsure whether he still likes it or not. “I was sent here…” he mumbles finally.

Hux grips his neck, slightly digging his fingers to Kylo’s skin, shivering at the words, feeling pathetic and desperate yet again. Even more than all the time, as these feelings doesn’t really leave him. “Are you killing me so soon?”

“No,” Kylo shakes his head, suddenly looking as desperate as Hux. “I was told that I can come here if I want to… that I will finally see the Dark Side corrupting me more than ever. He was right… I can barely touch you. And I’m not even away yet…”

Hux gives him a desperate chuckle, “isn’t it wonderful?” he pushes Ren away, standing up. “I would beg you to kill me now, but I’m actually looking forward to the monster. I want to see it in its full glory, the horror that will make the Empire rise again,” he’s shaking, not able to look at the other.

“I wish I could kill you now,” Kylo whispers, staring at the floor. “I don’t wanna keep hurting you anymore… I want to end this…” he feels the tears in his eyes again, still not able to fully suppress them.

“Have it never crossed your or Snoke’s mind, that I may kill myself once you leave?” He hates him for the tears just as much as he hates him for everything else. “I’m broken completely. I have  _ nothing  _ left. I’m just a pathetic failure, barely reminding of what I used to be! There’s nothing to stop me…”

“The Supreme Leader has not foreseen it,” Ren answers, the tears in his eyes gone. “And neither did I. I know about the sick wish of yours, to see the true Kylo Ren arise in your last dying moments.”

“You’ve foreseen quite a lot of thing that aren’t happening,” the older one points out, “I don’t know why it couldn’t work the other way around. It may not even be intentional, you know… I may just drink myself to death, I’m getting quite the hold of it already,” he feels hysterical. And sick, which just reminds him that he hasn’t eaten in days. “Fuck you, Ren. Fuck you as well as Ben Solo, I hate you both…” the shattering of his world. He hears it, he still hears it,  _ really hears it _ and he’s probably just really going insane. And he’s fucking cold.  _ Freezing _ .

“Except you don’t. You don’t hate me. I can feel you don’t.” Kylo whispers, staring at the general sadly. This is worse than he’s ever expected it to be. He wants to touch him, to let him hide in his heating body, to tell him everything will be good, that he will return and will be only his forever. But he can’t.

“I do hate you, Kylo Ren,” the ginger is trembling and he has to take a deep shuddering breath not to choke on his own words, “I fell in love with Ben Solo,” he really feels like killing himself on the spot, having no fucking clue how it could have gone so far, so fucking wrong. The cold and ruthless general  _ fell in love _ . And with the worst person possible. There are tears in his eyes again and he has no strength left to fight them.

And yet again, Kylo feels the fight inside of him raging furiously. As he sees actual tears on Hux’s face, he moves his hand against his cheek, wiping the hot liquid away. It still hurts, but the brunette isn’t sure anymore whether it’s the touch, or the emotion pouring out of the other male.

“Don’t,” Hux takes a step back, not really able to command even his own body, trembling uncontrollably, crouching, disgusted with himself.

The will of Kylo Ren finally shatters as he sees the general at the brink of collapse and he allows the remaining pieces of the man Hux loves to show themselves for the last time. He embraces the ginger, holding him close against his robes, stroking his hair gently, caressing him. “I am not leaving you like this,” he whispers. “Not tonight.”

“Don’t make it even worse…” the ginger is not fighting him, he just tiredly leans to the embrace. “Even harder…”

“I’m not leaving,” Kylo repeats stubbornly, holding him tight as he feels how weak the ginger is, suddenly incredibly worried about him as he feels his cold torso. “I’ve promised you to stay anyway.”

“It wasn’t you,” it’s just a weak whisper. “ _ You _ don’t even want to touch me…” He hesitates for a while longer, embracing the younger one as well in the end. He rests his forehead on Ren’s shoulder, taking a deep breath of his smell. It’s still the same. Still fucking  _ sweet _ . “What will you do with my piano?” he asks as it occurs to him that there’s nowhere to leave it after he dies.

“What do you want me to do with it?” he whispers into his ear, curious. “Is it really so dear to you? More than your own life?”

“That’s not relevant… I can’t exchange it for my life anyway…” Hux shakes his head, sighing again. “I don’t know, I won’t care once I’m dead… sell it, it’s awfully valuable, or give it to someone who’d play it or something… I was just wondering whether you thought about it…”

“I didn’t…” Kylo shakes his head as well. “I guess that until now I wasn’t actually able to imagine you would really die…” he sighs, the ruthless truth hitting him once again.

“I’m sometimes amazed Snoke tries so hard with you,” it’s weak and pathetic attempt at humor and it doesn’t even fit the mood, but the ginger doesn’t care. “You can as well burn it with me, if I have a funeral… but I’m not really the kind of general that would get a proper funeral…” if Kylo would let him go, he would probably just fall to the floor and stay there until death would come for him.

“I could keep it,” Ren shrugs his shoulders. “I grew quite fond of it myself. At least I would have something to remind me of you, general…”

“Ben Solo would have kept it,” the general point out, “I doubt Kylo Ren will,” he looks at the knight’s face, his throat tight once more. “Kiss me, monster,” he chokes out.

And Kylo does, deeply and passionately, drowning in Hux once more as everything falls into the right place again with the kiss. He keeps caressing his neck, still holding him with the other hand as he feels how weak the ginger is, which is something he simply cannot bear. “I will keep the piano,” he whispers against his mouth. “Even though it will never be as good as you. I will keep the fucking piano, so I would keep my promise, to come back to you and to stay with you…  _ Forever… _ ”

“Go die…” Hux fists his hands in Ren’s robes, the younger one still having his full armor on. He embraces him so tight he can’t possibly get any closer, taking everything Ren’s lips have to offer.

The knight shivers himself as he feels the hysterical clenching of Hux’s hands, knowing it won’t take long until he faints if they continue like this. He takes him into his hands - princess style again, as the proper knight he is - and lays the ginger carefully into his bed, covering him with a blanket. “You should eat something,” he points out as he realizes the general is several pounds lighter than the last time he carried him. “When was the last time you ate?”

“I don’t know,” Hux just shakes his head, not really caring about such things anymore. “Kiss me again,” he demands in somehow hoarse voice.

“If I do, will you let me make you tea one last time?” Kylo whispers as he kneels next to his bed, stroking his hand.

There are tears again in Hux’s eyes as he looks at Ren, the look on his face utterly hopeless. “How dare you?” he actually lets out a quiet, pathetic sob. “I will,” he says bringing his hand to the knight’s cheek, “if you do it the way I taught you…”

“I will,” Kylo smiles at him, kissing him gently, holding his hand. “But promise me you will also have a dinner with me… I want to enjoy our last night… and you’ll need strength.” He nuzzles his nose against the ginger’s one, licking his lips. Everything feels so right again as he feels the curse of the Dark Side to be washed away by Hux’s touches.

“You disease,” the older one swallows, fighting the tears. He manages surprisingly well. “You couldn’t even touch me just a while ago,” he reminds him, shaking his head. “You are poisonous…”

“I couldn’t…” the knight shivers. “But you made me better. Everything the Supreme Leader is trying to achieve during the entire day, you manage to erase in minutes… I don’t wanna part with you…” Kylo kisses him again, wiping the wet corners of his ears once again.

“Don’t you fucking dare turning Light after all that you made me go through,” the ginger whispers against his lips, moving one hand to Kylo’s hair to keep him close for a while longer. “I’ll eat with you…”

“Okay…” the brunette smiles and lays his head on Hux’s breasts. “Should I go to the canteen then?”

“Probably…” the ginger caresses his head, “if you’ll come back…” It feels just like the days he was sick, Kylo Ren making him tea and bringing him food. The days when the end of his life, of his whole world, started.

“I will return,” Ben smiles at him widely, looking at him tenderly, clearly in love. “I’ve promised to stay with you until the very end.”

Hux watches him leave, not really able to answer anything until the door shuts tight behind the knight. “You won’t,  _ Ben _ ,” he whispers, his voice a little broken again. “We both know you won’t stay so long…” He takes a deep breath before getting up from the bed - he isn’t even sure, why did Ren put him there in the first place - to go and have a cigarette before the other returns. He may have said that Ben Solo would die with him and he still believes it. But he doesn’t think he will be ever strong enough to show himself again.

Kylo grabs two plates with dinner as fast as he can, not giving a shit about the looks he’s getting. He manages to return at a record time, finding Hux sitting in the destroyed kitchen, smoking. “Here you go,” he puts the plate on the table in front of him, giving him a peck on the forehead, sitting himself opposite to him.

“Thanks…” Hux manages to say as he douses the cigarette, examining the knight. It’s fascinating - the terrible mood swings. As if there were really two people living inside of him. With different personalities, beliefs, abilities, even. “In a way, you are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever met, pup…” he whispers.

Kylo’s eyes widen in surprise. “What did you just say?” He feels like choking again, Hux’s words striking him hard.

“You’ve heard me just right the first time…” Hux shakes his head, taking cutlery into his hands to start eating. With the first bite he realises how really hungry he is, but he still eats slowly, enjoying the moment.

“I did,” Kylo answers. “And I still can’t believe it. Nobody ever told me anything like this. You are the first. And also the last…” he smiles at him sadly, caressing his cheek.

“Cherish it then,” the ginger looks away for a while, but he still lets go of his fork, bringing his hand to the knight’s, kissing his palm.

“I do,” the brunette shivers under the touch. He takes a bite of his food himself and then takes off his black coat, putting it around Hux’s shoulders. “You are cold,” he whispers.

“I am always cold these days…” the ginger exhales tiredly, wrapping himself in the piece of clothes not for the warmth itself but for the fact it’s Ren’s - Ben’s? - warmth and it smells like him. “There’s no helping me…” not only because of the cold.

“There is…” the knight gets up, standing behind Hux’s chair, embracing him from behind. “I’ll keep you warm, Bren... “

“It’s not that easy, you know it… you didn’t finish your food,” Hux himself gets back to his plate, but he still actually leans into the other’s body, as the closeness feels good. “You haven’t called me like that for four days…” he’s not counting, it’s just not that hard to notice.

“And it was a mistake,” Kylo kisses his neck. “I should have called you like this all the time.” As the knight keeps cuddling him, an idea is born in his mind. “Get up,” he whispers.

“Why?” Hux shivers under the kiss, the tender touch so good, yet tearing him apart. “I’m still eating.”

“And you will be able to finish your food. I promise,” Kylo slowly drags him up, licking his lips. “If all food tasted like this, I’d probably even get fat,” he chuckles.

“I hope you are not about to do what I think you’ll do…” the ginger stands up properly, bringing him closer to kiss him more deeply, not able to resist the beautiful pale lips, the tempting insane creature.

“I’m exactly about to do what you think,” Kylo chuckles into the kiss, sitting down on Hux’s chair, pulling the ginger down with him, sitting him on his lap. “Eat,” he whispers, embracing him tight, planting small gentle kisses on his neck.

“How am I supposed to eat like this?” Hux shivers again, closing his eyes, leaning fully into the knight’s torso. It feels good,  _ right  _ even, and he doesn’t want to move ever again.

“I don’t know…” the brunette whispers, running his fingers through the ginger locks, “but you’ll have to try anyway, because I’m not letting you go.”

Hux turns to him, stealing kisses from his lips, mapping his face with fingertip, the gentle touches trembling and barely noticeable. “I want to stay like this forever…” he chokes out, his meal almost forgotten already. “With you…” he knows it’s  _ with Ben Solo _ and the idea is sickening - wrong on so many levels. It turns his stomach upside down, making him believe he deserves everything he gets. “I don’t want to let you go…” but Ren is right, in a way, Hux wants to see the monster, he is almost  _ looking forward _ to it, to meeting it, to getting killed by it. He only wishes he would see the rise of the Empire too.

“I don’t want to go,” the brunette bites Hux’s neck gently, not really wanting to talk about it since the words he’s forced to listen to are driving him insane. “Eat, Bren…” he’s trying to change the topic, feeling his throat getting dry.

_ It’s good that you’ll go. You are making me weak… _ Hux kisses his lips passionately once more before turning back to his food. “If you never came back… Maybe I could go back to what I used to be, given time…” he whispers between bites, not sure if he himself believes it.

“But I will return,” Kylo whispers too, slightly trembling. “But perhaps before I do, you will be able to be the proper general again…” He is holding the ginger as close as he can, laying his head on his shoulder, slightly kissing it.

“That would make it such a waste…” Hux just shakes his head, finishing the meal finally. “You still haven’t finished your dinner,” he reminds the knight.

“I’ll eat it once you are a bit better,” Kylo closes his eyes, only breathing the ginger in. “You are still trembling.”

“I don’t think you can do anything about that…” the older one just shrugs his shoulders, turning to Ren again, stretching his hand to caress the scar then moving it into his hair. “I’ve been seeing you every day…” he smiles in the saddest way, “I didn’t even notice how long your hair’s gotten,” even his face - except for the damned puppy eyes - barely resembles the knight that rudely invaded Hux’s quarters several months ago. “Will you make me the tea now?”

“I will,” Kylo smiles, kissing his neck again, standing them up. “Sit down… I’ll take care of it,” he kisses his lips once more, not able to get enough.

Hux does as he is told, wrapping himself in Ren’s coat more tightly once again. “I’ve dreamt about you too, several times,” he says as he examines the broad back. “I may not see the future, but you invaded even my dreams as well,” he sighs, closing his eyes, imagining Kylo in the armor he dreamt about, being his knight until the real very end. Being the watchdog Hux wanted him to be.

“Did you?” he looks around, examining him thoroughly. “What did you dream about?”

“Mostly about you being my knight…” there’s no point in lying, he has already revealed much worse things to Ren.

“But I am your knight,” Kylo moves back to him, embracing him tight. “And Ben Solo will always be…” he whispers, pulling him into another passionate kiss, not able to get enough of him.

Hux answers it just as fiercely, desperately holding onto him, drowning in him, trembling even more. “It’s the worst, you know…” he breathes out, caressing Ren’s cheek, “Ben Solo isn’t even on the same side as me…” he shakes his head, looking away. “None of you could be the knight standing by my side if I were the Emperor,” he takes another deep breath. “And I’m not going to be the Emperor…”

“Then perhaps I will be,” Kylo shrugs his shoulders, kissing the ginger again and again, as if his lips were filled with oxygen and he needed them to remain alive. “And perhaps you will be as well… There is still the possibility,” he whispers quietly.

“As well?” the ginger looks at him, almost amused, as desperate chuckle leaves his throat. “We are not going to rule the galaxy together…” he shakes his head, giving  _ Ben _ a sad smile. “The water,” he reminds him as he hears the sizzling of the boiling liquid.

“Yes,” the brunette nods, taking the kettle into his hands, being way more careful this time not to burn himself. He pours the water in the cup, giving it to the ginger general, enjoying every single moment since he knows it’s the last time he’s doing this. “Here you go.”

“Thank you…” Hux bites his lip, setting the cup on the table for now. “Come here,” he says, pointing to the ground, “I want to enjoy the pup for the last time…” he whispers, as he exchanges his empty plate with Ren’s.

And Kylo obeys him, standing exactly where Hux told him to. “What do you want me to do?” he asks, not entirely sure what’s the general planning to do.

“Sit,” the redhead says and as Kylo does so - sitting on the floor between his legs - he bends to kiss him slowly, exploring his mouth as if it was their first time, enjoying his taste, noticing how good has Kylo become at this. “I always though I hate your puppy eyes the most, but it may be the lips…” he whispers as he caresses them with his fingers. “I’m drowning in your mouth…” he takes a piece of Kylo’s food, feeding him with his fingers.

“I have noticed,” the brunette chuckles, eating everything Hux gives him. Even the vegetable isn’t so bad like this. “What about the cake?” he points out, nodding in the direction of the plate.

“So impatient…” Hux shakes his head, but he actually almost genuinely smiles, as he messily takes a portion of the chocolate cream to let the other lick it. It’s unbelievably beautiful, seducing and  _ promising _ and he is almost sure he’s going to dream about the knight doing exactly this, once the other leaves, and it’s just going to drive him really insane.

“Always,” Kylo smiles, licking Hux’s fingers eagerly. “It tastes even better on your fingers, you know that?” 

“I can imagine, based on you expression,” the ginger leans to kiss him, tasting the sweet cake in his mouth, before giving him more. He’s not really fond of sweets but it’s not that bad from Kylo’s mouth. He runs his fingers through Ren’s black hair with his free hand, shivering at the beauty.

“How exactly do I look?” Kylo bites his lip playfully. “Like I can’t get enough? That’s right,” he takes the ginger’s hand into his own one, sucking one of the fingers into his mouth, knowing that the general simply can’t resist this.

Hux narrows his eyes, nodding slightly. “Something like that…” he agrees, not able to take his eyes off the wet, tempting mouth.

“Good,” the brunette sucks a bit harder, watching Hux’s reaction closely.

The general forces more fingers into Ren’s mouth, exploring, playing teasingly with his tongue, licking his own lip at the image. He is getting aroused by all of this, not able to resist something like that, imagining the lips somewhere else as well.

Kylo moans very silently as the fingers are starting to be more and more demanding. He is sucking on them eagerly, his breath hot and elevated on the ginger’s hand.

“You are still so beautiful like this…” the older one whispers, his breath somehow shallow and trembling.

“You are too…” Kylo bites one of his fingertips. “I love it when you are aroused,” he chuckles, slightly squeezing his erection with his own hand. “I’ve never thought you’d be this easy,” he adds, his eyes challenging.

“You have nothing to say,” Hux shakes his head, with barely hearable moan of his own, “not even now…” he adds, as the knight himself is already moaning. He brings him a little closer, moving both hands to Ren’s neck while bending to kiss him deeply, savouring every second. “Right now you want me just as much as I want you…” he’s trembling all over again, as the knight between his legs is now the innocent, tamed knight Hux made him into.

“I’ve never said I don’t…” Kylo shivers, gently moving his hand up and down Hux’s thigh, then moves it to tease his penis again. “Let me…” he whispers, pulling his pajama pants down.

“Yes…” is the only thing the ginger manages to say in an aroused voice with a hint of satisfaction, as he spreads his legs even further apart for Ren.

“This is such a beautiful view,” Kylo whispers and moves his tongue to lick the very tip of Hux’s member. “I must say I like you like this,” he continues, sucking the soft sensitive flesh into his wet mouth.

Hux fists his hand into Kylo’s hair almost automatically, exhaling deeply as he enjoys his tongue, rock hard because of the mouth as well as because of the younger one’s words. “Is that so…?” he gulps, “I love it when you do this…”

“I know you do,” Kylo mumbles, his words resonating on Hux’s penis. “And of course I like this. You taste good,” he takes the tip fully into his mouth, sucking on it intensely as if to prove his words.

The older one lets out a deep growl, biting his own lip hard, closing his eyes for a while to enjoy just the sensation, to let himself get lost and completely drowned in the hot wet mouth. It’s maddening, with all the feelings, after everything that’s happened, it drives him crazy even more.

Kylo feels that the general is slowly losing it, taking him finally into his mouth fully, sucking and licking the best way he can, wanting to drive the ginger insane.

Hux can’t keep himself from thrusting against the perfect lips, wanting to get as much of the mouth as he can get, wanting to get everything Kylo has to offer. He feels himself getting more aroused with every passing second, trembling uncontrollably.

The knight is sucking more and more intensely, adjusting his movements so they would go in the same rhythm as the thrusts of Hux’s body. He pulls him closer, grasping his hips tight, digging his nails into his pale sensitive skin.

The general watches Kylo, only the image so perfect it brings him to the edge unbelievably fast. He can taste his own blood as he bites his lips, trying to keep quiet probably just because he’s so used to - there’s not really any reason not to let himself go completely. So he partly does, as he reaches the orgasm, letting out something between loud moan and a groan, shivering all over as he releases into Ren’s throat, keeping him in place to drink it all.

Kylo slightly jerks away, the ginger’s orgasm catching him unprepared. However, he gets a grip of himself quickly, sucking and swallowing the liquid eagerly until there’s none left. He waits another few seconds till Hux calms down a bit more, releasing Hux’s penis from his mouth, gasping for air.

The general takes several deep breaths, examining the knight, tenderly running his fingers through Ren’s hair. “Amazing…” he whispers, moving his bare foot to trace it along Kylo’s thigh, gently caressing his crotch through the fabric of the knight’s pants. “I want to take you… I want to keep touching you until you really have to leave…” he continues, somehow frantically, as he leans to kiss Kylo, even though he can taste himself. “I want to  _ feel  _ you… I need it.”

“Then do…” the brunette shivers under the gentle, but demanding touches. “Because I need you too. For the last time…” he chokes out, suppressing a quiet sob. “Please, take me once more.”

Hux kisses his mouth deeply, almost desperately once more before hastily putting his pants back on. He stands up, taking Kylo’s hand, leading him to the bedroom once more. “You know, we never actually did it properly on my bed before…” he points out, the words in his throat choking him.

“I know…” Kylo nuzzles his nose again, smiling as he begins to understand. “You’ve never slept with anyone in your own bed, have you?” 

“No, I haven't…” the older one sits, bringing Kylo close, finally taking his clothes off for him. “I’ve done with you quite a number of things that I’ve never done before that…” he remarks, somehow sadly.

“Such as?” the knight kneels in front of him once again, hiding his face in his chest, exhaling loudly. “Tell me… I want to know. I want to know everything about you,” he whispers.

Hux kisses his hair, caressing Ren’s back. “You know them well… the whole time on your shuttle… the time you showed me your sword. I told you about my mother. I neglected my duties because of you every time you came to my office…” he names just few, taking a deep breath, staying silent for a while, kissing his skin, tracing it with his fingers as if he was trying to remember every inch forever. “You know… the worst one is, I’ve never been in love before, but with you… I…” he whispers it right next to the knight’s ear, so silent it’s barely hearable. Still, his voice breaks in the end.

“I love you too,” the soft voice replies, understanding what Hux meant with his words. It’s Ben’s voice again. The brunette - still half clothed - raises himself and pushes the general on his bed, lying on top of him, watching every part of his face with a great interest as if it was the most beautiful thing in the entire universe.

The general just shakes his head, biting his lip, taken completely aback by the words he never wanted to hear. It’s crushing. It fucking  _ hurts _ . “It’s all your fault…” he whispers shakily, remembering the day he threw the knight out of his quarters after he told him he  _ cared _ . That’s where it should have all ended.

“I don’t deny it,” Kylo answers, starting to suck on one of the ginger’s nipples. He suddenly feels like taking him on spot himself, still aroused from the blowjob.

“You are terrible,” Hux moans quietly, arching his back a little because of the sensation. He moves to be able to reach Kylo’s pants to unzip them and to finally free his erection.

The knight gasps as Hux’s hands are intentionally touching his most private places, making him only more and more aroused. He growls and starts to pull the pajama pants off the ginger’s legs as well, craving the skin to skin contact.

Hux moves to sit, getting rid of the rest of Ren’s clothes as well as his own with the knight’s help. He pulls him back, making him sit astride on the general’s lap, kissing him fiercely, licking and biting again. He moves one hand to Kylo’s crotch, resting the other on his hip, bringing him closer and closer.

The brunette shivers as he finally feels his penis against the soft flesh of Hux’s thigh, moaning silently, thrusting it against him instinctively, unable to help himself. The tension against the flesh just feels so damn  _ good _ .

“You are beautiful,” the general whispers, unable to stop himself, examining the knight’s muscles, the side, which is now looking almost completely healed, his whole body. He finally put on weight again, looking even more like the  _ mighty knight _ he’s supposed to be. Hux moves to kiss and to bite Ren’s shoulder, tracing his palms down the other’s back and on his ass.

“Ohh…” is everything Kylo is able to get out of his mouth, closing his eyes, leaning into the touch. He thrusts his hips against the general again, this time more forcefully than before.

Hux chuckles at the eager reaction, kissing the other again before moving one hand to his mouth to make Ren salivate his fingers properly.

The brunette whimpers, moving his hips now in a regular pace, rock hard, his penis begging for attention. “I want to take you…” he whispers, his voice full of arousal.

The general examines his face, still seeing the clumsy puppy, but he shivers at the idea, somehow aroused by Ren’s words. It’s been years since the last time he actually let someone do that to him. “You can…” he answers quietly in the end.

Kylo’s eyes widen as he hears the words, his pupils fully dilated. “You actually… want me to do it…?” he whispers, somehow still not able to believe it.

“Well, I can imagine you’ll be clumsy and messy, but we can do something about that,” Hux smiles faintly, caressing Ren’s cheek, kissing him gently as he moves his wet fingers to Ren’s penis, smearing the precum over the tip. “I don’t mind you taking me…” he admits, licking Kylo’s lips, “it’s…”  _ hard to say _ , “if you want to do it, I’ll give it to you…”

The brunette feels his hips shooting against Hux’s body without any control, aroused as never. He must be dreaming. This possibly can’t be happening. Or is he really about to  _ fuck  _ the cold and merciless general?! “I want to do it,” he moans finally.

“But you are not going to last like this…” Hux teases him, even though he actually means his words. “Sit,” he instructs, repositioning them yet again, as he kneels between the knight’s legs.

“I’m not going to last like  _ what _ ?” Kylo raises an eyebrow, watching the ginger, wondering what the hell is he doing, but since his brain is not functioning properly anymore, he doesn’t care much.

Like this, it’s actually quite easy to forget everything else for a while, Kylo back to the completely clueless puppy, making Hux believe for a while that he’s not really going anywhere, that he  _ couldn’t _ . “Ecstatic…” he chuckles. “You’ve never done anything like that before, you’d be done in seconds,” he says, remembering still quite vividly, how little Ren needed at the beginning. “I’ll give it to you with my mouth first,” he explains what he’s about to do finally, salivating his fingers so he can prepare himself for the knight while bending to lick his erection.

Kylo cries out, grasping the ginger scalp with his hands firmly, trying to focus on what Hux just said. “Okay…” he nearly  _ squeaks  _ after a while when he’s sure he understood correctly, pushing his penis against Hux’s face as much as he can.

The general lets him do it, giving the knight everything he wants, sucking Ren’s whole shaft into his mouth. It’s not easy to prepare himself - after such a long time as well - while trying to keep such a wild creature in place, but it really doesn’t take Ren long to climax into the general’s mouth. Hux actually swallows it too, frowning because of the taste, but somehow still feeling satisfied. He hates the butterflies in his stomach. He straightens up, still kneeling, facing the younger one, slowly adding third finger to spread himself properly. The sensation is strange and makes him shiver, as he is not used to it at all anymore, but it’s bearable and the image of  _ his  _ knight taking him is actually arousing itself. “You want to try it with you fingers first?” he asks when Kylo finally takes a hold of himself again.

“I do… I want to enjoy you as much as I can… It’s quite a shame that until now you were doing it by yourself,” he shivers just because of the idea. “Show me how to do it properly then… I don’t want to hurt you.” Kylo is trying to collect himself to be actually able to do something, his hands still shaking terribly.

“The same way I did it to you…” Hux only says, leaning to kiss him before taking his hand to salivate Ren’s fingers, sucking them into his mouth just as Kylo did before to his. “Just be careful…” he adds as he leads Ren’s fingers into his body, moaning quietly at the sensation. It’s quite different when someone else does it. He moves closer to Ren, leaning against him, kissing his skin again. “There…” he whispers as the younger brushes his prostate.

“Okay…” Kylo shivers, still not quite able to believe what he’s doing right now, but he just simply doesn’t care whether it’s right or not. It feels incredibly good, that’s what it is and that’s enough. He waits a while, moving only his fingertips, getting used to the sensation as well and then he starts to move his fingers slowly, scissoring them, trying his best to be as least painful as possible.

“It’s… not that bad when you do it…” the ginger admits into Ren’s skin, still trying to be as quiet as possible, actually enjoying it as he is getting used to it. He moves one hand to trace Kylo’s scars, still somehow fascinated by them. “That should be enough…” he says after a while, when Ren has three fingers inside of him.

The brunette only nods and pulls the fingers out slowly, suppressing the terrible urge to smell them. He’s no sex expert, but even he can tell it would be somehow a turn off for the redhead. He forces himself not to care about it anymore, drowning all of his unnecessary thoughts in Hux’s mouth as he leans to kiss him deeply, so intensively moving his tongue inside of the general’s mouth that he leaves them both breathless.

Hux moves to lay on his back, stretching one of his hands towards the younger one, spreading his legs a little, almost  _ inviting _ . “Come here…” 

The brunette gulps, swearing he  _ felt  _ his cock jumping up just by watching the general’s position. He can’t help himself but to stare for a couple of seconds more, finally lying on him, clumsily positioning himself against the opening of the other one.

“You are a mess,” Hux smiles at him strangely, actually satisfied that he still does so much to the knight, even though he’s already turning into the monster. He shouldn’t be happy about bringing the puppy back, but he is and he can’t help it. He repositions them a little, moving one hand to lead Kylo in his own body.

The brunette shouts out as he feels the sensation of penetrating someone for the first time. It’s just so incredibly warm and tight, so  _ intense  _ that Kylo feels like coming on the spot, not doubting Hux’s words anymore. “Fuck!” he shouts again, digging his nails into the general’s shoulders, leaving big red marks on them, having not a single idea what’s going on in the ginger’s head.

Hux actually has to fight the need to laugh at such a strong reaction, not really succeeding as lets out several quiet huffs. “God, you are actually  _ cute _ ,” he whispers, his own voice quite shaky not only because of the laughing. It’s still not that easy to get used to someone  _ being _ inside of him right away and Kylo is obviously not one to take things slowly. He wraps one leg around the knight’s hips to keep him in place to get accustomed to the sensation, tracing his fingers gently on Ren’s skin.

“What is so cute about it?” Kylo mumbles, shivering as much as Hux does. “I bet your first time wasn’t too different…” he tries to chuckle, but his body is too tense and his mouth doesn’t work properly. Nothing seems to work properly anymore, perhaps only his member does.

“Probably, but at that time, I wasn’t looking at myself, all lost and barely conscious,” he moves closer to kiss Kylo, wrapping one hand around his neck. “You can move, pup…” he whispers into his lips.

And Kylo does, firstly very slowly, just getting used to it, trying his best not to finish himself right away - mostly because he wants the sensation to last longer, but also because Hux wouldn’t let him live it down, because he would surely find it funny and pathetic. He is whimpering, his eyes shut tight, trying to find a regular pace.

The general wants to change their position to get on top of the other, but he dismisses the idea, letting the younger enjoy his body as he pleases, moving his hips against Ren’s to meet his thrusts. He finds Kylo’s lips again to kiss them deeply, sensually, as his own voice is getting rather unsteady again. It’s not that bad when the younger one takes him, even though Kylo is clumsy, he’s trying to be careful and the sensation combined with Hux’s penis rubbing against Ren’s stomach is doing all kind of things to him.

The brunette fastens the pace, not even realizing it, moaning into Hux’s mouth. Even though he is trying hard to keep it together, he knows he’s losing it already, the sensation is just  _ too big _ . It doesn’t take long and he’s jerking his hips against Hux’s frantically, moving closer and closer to the climax. As he releases himself into the ginger’s body, he shouts his name out loud, collapsing on the redhead’s body, breathing heavily, inhaling the scent of the other male. His head is swirling again, because it was so  _ fucking intense _ he still can’t take it in.

Hux caresses his back, taking a deep breath of his own, trembling a little. “You can’t collapse just yet, you’ve got work to finish,” he reminds the younger one.

“I know…” Kylo whispers, kissing the general’s lips, his breath still hot and heavy. “Just give me a second…”

The ginger answers the kiss passionately for a while, moving to á half sit, taking the other with him. “Spread your legs,” he instructs while sticking his fingers into Ren’s mouth.

The younger one does exactly as he’s told, not questioning Hux’s words, even though he has no idea what the ginger is planning to do. He spreads his legs wide, still caressing Hux’s cheek, desperately needing the touch as he is more sensitive than usually after the mindblowing orgasm.

Hux moves him closer to be able to reach him, slipping two fingers inside him right away. “We’ll finish like this…” he says, kissing the knight’s neck.

“You want me to… to ride you?” Kylo whispers, slightly jumping up as he feels the fingers inside of him once again.

“I’m surprised you actually guessed that,” Hux teases him, taking Ren’s earlobe into his mouth to bite it slightly, sucking on it. “Yes, I want you to ride me…” he adds quietly.

“Then I will,” the brunette tilts his head to give the ginger a better access to his ear, starting to move against his fingers slowly.

Hux lick his neck, narrowing his eyes at the sensation of the younger one being so eager - Kylo’s moves making him even more aroused. He adds third finger, spreading the knight quite fast, as he too wants to be inside already. “Come, ride me,” he says when he withdraws the fingers, sitting to enjoy this fully.

And the knight does, sitting on him slowly, surprisingly not as clumsy as Hux expected him to be. He waits a few seconds, only watching the ginger’s beautiful aroused face, then starts to move very slowly against him.

Hux licks his lips, taking a deep breath as he himself is rather close after everything they did. It’s beautiful and it feels just as incredible. He traces a hand along Ren’s side, positioning it on his hip to control his moves slightly, bringing his face close with the other one to kiss him again. It somehow feels awfully sensual and tender, with the thrusts slow and the bodies so close and  _ hot _ .

Kylo is able to keep the pace slow since he’s not aroused anymore, trying his best for the ginger to enjoy it as much as possible. It’s the last time they’re doing this anyway, so this is the least he can do for the general. He kisses him too, not being able to part their lips.

“Pup…” the general breathes out in shaking, quiet voice, as he makes the younger move a little faster after a while, really close already. He drowns everything he could say in Kylo’s lips as he makes him stop, releasing deep inside his body. Still like that, Hux brings him close, giving him almost painfully slow and  _ affectionate _ kiss.

“Bren…” the brunette whispers against his lips, closing his eyes in pleasure as he feels the hot liquid filling him once more. The sensation is strangely comfortable in a way, making him complete and satisfied.

“Hmm…” Hux nuzzles his nose against Kylo’s neck before pushing him on the back to slip out of his body. He leans against him, kissing him almost playfully.

Kylo finally relaxes on the soft bed linen, breathing heavily. Even though his physical strength is returning back after the injury, he still somehow finds the sex more exhausting than the training. He pushes his hands into Hux’s hair, ruffling them almost gently.

“I still didn’t drink the tea…” the general remembers after a little while, sighing. “It’s surely already cold…”

“I can warm it up for you, if you want to,” Kylo shrugs his shoulders a bit, kissing the tip of Hux’s nose.

“With your sorcery?” the ginger raises one eyebrow, examining Ren.

“Of course,” the brunette answers. “How else would I do it?”

“I don’t know…” Hux only sighs, “It actually doesn’t really matter…” he leans to kiss him, sucking on Kylo’s lower lip, before getting up. “I want to drink it.”

“Okay,” the younger one smiles at him, closing his eyes because of the sensation on his lip. “Do you want me to warm it up?”

The general looks at him for a while. “I do…” he nods in the end. “I mostly want you to go with me…” he adds, stretching a hand towards Ren.

Kylo smiles as him widely, taking the hand into his own one, getting up with Hux’s help. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he whispers.

“Of course…” the ginger entwines their fingers, bringing him closer for a kiss. “You are still mine… for the last few hours…” he whispers into Ren’s lips, feeling him everywhere, all over his body.  _ Inside _ .

The brunette chuckles, pulling Hux closer, embracing him, looking like a proper couple at last, since everything Kylo Ren is, was suppressed deep inside of the knight’s minds and Ben Solo was able to rise in his full strength one last time. He sits the ginger on his lap again, taking the cup into his hands, giving it back to him after a few seconds. “It this alright?” he asks, his eyes almost shining.

Hux repositions to be able to lean his side against Ren, closing his eyes, listening to the other’s heartbeat. “It’s perfect…” he mumbles, not meaning only the tea. He doesn’t care anymore how he must look, nor what he says. It’s the last few hours and he wants to enjoy them fully.

 

As Kylo wakes up, Hux is already sitting by the piano, actually fully clothed in his uniforms, prepared to go to the bridge. It’s far past the time he normally leaves, but he doesn’t really care, watching Kylo, examining him as if he wanted to remember every mole and every single detail of his face forever. Even though it’s only going to haunt him. “Morning, pup…” he whispers, when the knight starts to open his eyes, not really sure whether he’s still  _ the pup _ .

“Good morning,” Kylo smiles at him, but his smile fades as he realizes he’s leaving today. “How long have I slept? Have… have we already arrived?” he whispers, his voice fading.

“We have…” the older nods. “I was already supposed to be on the bridge several hours ago…” he adds, faint sad smile on his lips. He stands up, moving to the brunette, sitting on the edge of the bed. “You should go…” he whispers as he looks away. He actually still looks awfully tired, the tears he shed - which were first since he left his home for the academy - not really helping his looks.

“I should…” the knight whispers, pulling the ginger close, making him fall on himself. He licks his lips, yet the familiar taste mingling with something different. Kylo looks him into the eyes, stretching his hand to caress the general’s cheek. “Were you crying…?” he whispers after a while.

“No,” the ginger answers in steady voice, even though his swollen eyes make the lie quite meaningless. “Did you want to see that?”

“I didn’t,” Kylo shakes his head. “I never meant to harm you. Well, almost never. It wasn’t… It wasn’t Ben Solo…” he whispers, kissing him passionately, feeling an urgent need to comfort the ginger. “Please, don’t cry because of me…”

“I didn’t cry,” Hux frowns at him, “I don’t cry,  _ Kylo… _ ” he shakes his head. “God, this is just terrible… I don’t want to be the general of the First Order who cried because of  _ Ben Solo _ ,” still, he cuddles a little to the knight, not really caring that his uniform will surely get all wrinkled - or at least, he’s trying not to think about it.

The brunette pulls him closer once again, not able to part from him. “Then just don’t, okay? Remember me like this.” He smells his hair, kissing them gently, just enjoying the closeness.

“I’ll try…” Hux closes his eyes. He raises his head, finding Ren’s lips to kiss him deeply. “You should really go… Snoke’s probably not very pleased…”

“For how long are we here?” Kylo shivers as he imagines what will probably Snoke do to him for all  _ this _ .

“Three hours,” the ginger answers, “I even tried to wake you up right when we arrived, you know… you got too used to my presence,” there’s that subtle sad smile again, “I could have even killed you…”

“I know,” Kylo answers with a sigh. “I loved sleeping in your presence. I’ll miss it…” he sighs once more, sitting up, uncovering his naked torso from under the blanket.

Hux rolls away to give him space, sitting himself as well, on the edge of the bed. “The monster won’t miss it…” he whispers, trying to straighten his uniform properly.

“But I will,” the brunette repeats stubbornly, pulling Hux close again, this time on his naked body.

“I’ll have to change again…” the older male just sighs, frowning, not really trying to get away. “I got used to sleeping next to you as well…” he says. “It’s not that bad anymore…”

“Not that bad?” Kylo raises his eyebrow. “You mean it was bad before?!”

Hux smiles, “I told you I was not used to it,” he shrugs his shoulders a little, “I kept waking up…”

“Sorry,” the knight mumbles. “I slept way better with you. Somehow it kept calming me down.”

“I know…” Hux licks his lips, pulling away again. “Get dressed,” he tries to sound like he really wants the other to do it. “You are already late…”

“I don’t think the couple of more minutes will make significant difference,” Kylo shakes his head, still holding the ginger close. “Stay…”

Hux sighs deeply again, closing his eyes for a moment. “This curse you casted upon me… it’s really terrible. I can’t even say no to you anymore…” he kisses him again, running his fingers through Kylo’s hair.

“Thank you,” the brunette whispers, closing his eyes too, laying them down, staying there for long minutes, unable to get up, to let go. He’s only ruffling Hux’s hair sadly, breathing him in, enjoying the last moments they have together as much as he can.

“Pup, it’s really time,” the older says after a while, gettin away, standing up and away from Ren’s reach. He goes to his closet, getting a clean jacket out. “We both have our own responsibilities.”

“I know,” Kylo whispers sadly, getting up from the bed. “Can I take a quick shower before I leave, please?”

“Yes,” the older one nods, looking at Kylo, “I probably wouldn’t even let you out otherwise…” he shakes his head, the idea of the Master of the Knights of Ren getting out of his chambers like this - all  _ visibly  _ used - to go right to Snoke quite terrible.

“Thanks,” he chuckles, giving him a peck on the lips and retreats to the shower, coming out in several minutes, all naked again. “Better?” he asks, pulling Hux closer, wetting his uniform as he didn’t bother to use a towel.

“No,” the ginger sighs, tracing his hands down Ren’s hips, “no…” he breathes out, kissing the younger one deeply, surprisingly eagerly. “You are ruining my clothes again,” he whispers, his fingers already in the wet black messy locks.

“You said you were gonna change anyway,” the knight pulls him even closer, ruffling his hair again, ruining the general’s look completely.

“I only meant the jacket…” Hux points out. He really wants to pull away and let the younger one go, but with every touch it’s harder and harder. It’s the last time after all. There won’t be anything more after this. Only the monster and then finally death.

“You still look good,” Kylo bites his lip, marking the general once more. “I don’t think it’s necessary for you to change at all.”

“I’m  _ wet _ ,” Hux just frowns.

“If you want me to, I can make you even more wet,” Kylo purrs into his ear, almost seductively for the puppy he is.

“It’s fascinating that you are so dense all the time and then from time to time you come up with such a statement,” the general shivers a little, narrowing his eyes. “Get dressed, your shuttle is already waiting for you…” he sighs.

The brunette sighs, letting Hux go for a while, then pulls him even closer, almost hanging around his neck. “Are you sure?” he whispers into his ear.

The ginger examines his face, “I don’t really care,” he admits then, kissing Kylo again. “I’m not the one supposed to leave…”

“You told me you were supposed to be on the bridge,” Ren points out. “I’m pretty sure you’re lying,  _ sir _ .”

“I’m not leaving the ship… I won’t be facing Snoke’s wrath…” Hux remarks.

“I will be facing it anyway,” Kylo kisses his lips. “So I don’t care anymore.”

“You are terrible…” the older only reminds him again, before wrapping his arms around Ren’s waist, kissing him again. “You are poisoning me until the very end then?”

“I’m not poisoning you,” the knight raises his eyebrows again. “Stop your bitching already and take me one last time, you ginger idiot,” he snorts almost sassily, pulling Hux into another passionate kiss, trying literally everything to get Hux into the bed.

“Watch your tongue,” the general frowns once their lips part, shaking his head. “Fine then… I’ll take you in a way you’ll never forget,” he narrows his eyes, pulling Kylo to the bed and pushing him on it. “Kneel,” he instructs while taking his own clothes off.

“Okay…” the brunette shivers as he’s finally being touched all over again, painfully obvious how desperately he’s been waiting for this. He does as he’s told, pushing his butt against Hux’s warm hands.

Hux is kneeling behind him, tracing his hand all over Ren’s body, kissing and biting him behind his neck. He rubs his penis against Kylo’s ass, licking him behind an ear. “Bend over,” he whispers in commanding voice, slipping his tongue in Ren’s ear teasingly.

Kylo moans silently, feeling himself hardening already, so eager it hurts. He wants to savor the moment, but is unsure whether he’s really able to, since every moment without the ginger touching his naked torso feels like agony.

The general smiles a little at the sight. It’s satisfying, the knight still so  _ his _ . But it won’t last. He runs his fingers along Ren’s spine, before caressing his ass, spreading his buttocks a little. “It’s good you took a shower,” he says as he bends as well, biting a mole on Ren’s thigh.

The knight shivers at the sensation, gasping for air as he suddenly feels Hux’s mouth on such a sensitive part of his body. “Really?” he manages to get out of himself.

“Hmm…” the older one only murmurs in agreement, tracing the soft, tender skin with his tongue before licking Kylo’s opening tentatively.

The brunette screams out, not expecting anything this intense, moving himself against Hux’s mouth instinctively. “What the…” he gasps, his body trembling as if in fever.

The ginger grips one Ren’s thigh to keep him in place, spreading his buttocks with the other hand. He doesn’t really know why he’s going so far - as he’s never done this to anyone even though he actually had it done several times himself. Maybe it’s for the wild reactions, maybe he just wants the younger one to feel like never before, to  _ remember _ . It’s true he’s never  _ cared _ before. He slips his tongue inside Ren, teasingly sucking a little.

“Fuck!” Kylo screams, his hands trembling, about to stop working any second. “What the hell are you doing?!”

“I’m preparing you,” the general says as he pulls away a little, kissing the pale skin of Ren’s butt. “I like your reactions quite a lot,” he points out, teasing the knight with his fingers while he’s talking.

“Do you....?” the brunette whispers, his voice shaking as much as his hands. “And yet I was trying not to sound so desperately needy…”

“You sound awfully needy since you’ve woken up,” the general just remarks in somehow amused voice, getting back to what he did before the talking, slipping one finger inside as well.

The knight whimpers, biting his lip to keep his voice at least partially down. “That’s because it’s true,” he admits unwillingly.

Hux only smirks, not really able to answer without pulling away. He pushes his tongue deeper inside, moving his free hand to Kylo’s balls.

Despite all his efforts, Ren cries out loud, seeing black spots in front of his eyes again, gasping for air loudly. “Breeeen, what are you  _ doing  _ to me?!” he screams nearly hysterically.

Hux gives him another few teasing licks and sucks before pulling away, replacing his tongue with another finger, spreading the knight, scissoring his fingers and teasing his prostate. He bends over the younger one, biting his ear, “If you were here longer, I’d make you unable to climax without me,” he whispers.

“What?!” Kylo gasps. “That’s just  _ sick _ ! You own me already! What else do you need?”

“I’d own you  _ completely  _ then,” the ginger says in strange voice, withdrawing his fingers to penetrate Ren quite forcefully.

The knight shouts out loudly, not expecting Hux to do it so quickly. “But you do!” he cries out, having a disturbing feeling that someone’s listening behind the door again.

“I don’t, Ren,” the ginger growls in his ear, pulling his hair to tilt Kylo’s head backward, biting his neck hard. “Not  _ anymore _ ,” he adds, the realization sinking in with sickening weight, making the redhead somehow more violent than usual. He waits just a fleeting moment before starting to move, digging the fingers of the hand that’s not in Kylo’s hair to his hip.

The younger one only moans in response, continuing to make his aroused sounds in regular intervals. He keeps moving himself against Hux’s member, beginning to be quite good at finding the pace that suits both of them.

Hux keeps on biting him, leaving red marks and bruises on his body as if he needed to mark him as much as he can for the last time. He moves one of his hands to Kylo’s erection, making him climax within seconds. As he slides out of him, he doesn’t even give him time to catch his breath before pulling his hair again to bring him closer, “suck me,” he instructs.

Kylo opens his mouth quite willingly, wrapping his lips around the general’s penis, trying to suppress his gag reflex as he strongly feels himself from the hardened flesh. This is so fucking  _ wrong _ , but somehow also incredibly arousing, making the brunette to suck and to lick eagerly.

“Beautiful…” the older one whispers, narrowing his eyes as he’s getting close himself. “You are so fucking beautiful like this…” he bites his lips as he makes Kylo to swallow him whole, fisting a hand in Ren’s hair so he cannot jerk away. As he climaxes, he slips out of his mouth to release himself on the knight’s face.

Kylo shakes his head a bit, not quite expecting this, shutting his eyes tight. He feels the hot liquid on his skin, waiting for the general to calm down. Then he finally opens his eyes again, looking into Hux’s flushed postorgasmic face, moving himself up to kiss him.

The general doesn’t seem to mind tasting himself on his lips as he answers the kiss desperately, bringing the knight as close as possible, smearing his own cum on Ren’s skin as he caresses his face. He doesn’t want him to leave. Not just because of this, because of  _ everything _ and he realises it’s weak and pathetic, but he just feels so desperate and shattered already.

“Come here…” Kylo whispers, pulling him down, snuggling them under the blanket. He’s caressing his cheek, kissing the tip of his nose again. “Can’t we just run away from all this?” he asks silently, feeling pathetic himself, knowing deep inside of his mind that it’s just not possible.

“You know we can’t…” Hux closes his eyes shut tight, resting his forehead on Kylo’s shoulder. “You know…” he starts, feeling somehow even more pathetic and  _ hopeless _ , “I thought about it on your shuttle… I may have even broken if you sad just a single word but… we can’t,” he takes a deep breath. “You are going to become the proper monster and destroy the Republic for everything it did to me…”

“But I don’t want to…” the puppy almost whines. “I wish I could stay. I really do. Don’t forget it, okay? And don’t cry…” he kisses his lips, sucking them into his own mouth, sitting them both on the bed, laying his head on Hux’s shoulder.

“Leave already…” the older one only whispers, closing his eyes again, ruffling Ren’s hair. “You know, I’ll try to forget everything,” he says, not lying. “I won’t really be able to, but I’ll try,” his throat feels dry. “I don’t want to feel like this…” he gulps. “I don’t want to  _ feel… _ ”

“Try then,” Kylo whispers, slowly getting up. “It would be so much easier…”

“You’ll forget, anyway…” Hux looks away, biting his lip. “Take a shower and go already…”

“I won’t forget,” the knight shakes his head. “I just won’t care anymore…”  _ Which is even worse _ .

Hux shivers. He looks at the knight with his pale blue eyes so full of emotions it  _ hurts _ . “Go…” he whispers, standing up to have a cigarette.

“Not before you take a shower with me,” Kylo sounds almost strict, allowing no discussion about that one. “Where are you going?”

“I wanted to have a smoke…” the ginger says, not really caring about his naked body. He moves to the knight, leaning against him, kissing him surprisingly gently.

“Then do…” the brunette sinks into the kiss, putting his fingers around Hux’s neck. “I’ll go with you. We can take the shower later.”

Hus shivers, closing his eyes for a while, taking the sensation in. “Once you’ll come to kill me, do it with your new sword, not just your sorcery… I want to see it,” he licks Ren’s lips.

“I will,” Kylo nods, ruffling his hair again, taking in how beautifully the general looks without his neat haircut. “It never even occurred to me I’d do it otherwise. But tell me - why do you want to see it so much? For you it’ll be just another sword you cannot wield.”

“I don’t know I just want… You showed me your current one as well,” Hux sighs, shrugging his shoulders a little. “It’s part of you, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Kylo whispers, somehow starting to understand its importance for Hux. “And for a brief moment, it will be even part of you. That I can do for you. And I will, I swear.”

Hux lets out a desperate chuckle. “Good,” he whispers, bringing the other closer for a kiss again. “You took everything from me, you cancerous horror,” he bites his lip, sitting on a chair in the kitchen. “Yet… I still care about things like this… I still  _ care _ ,” he shakes his head, lighting a cigarette.

“I’m glad you do,” the brunette answers, standing behind Hux, ruffling his hair again. “I guess… I’ll enjoy killing you. Somehow.”

Hux takes Ren’s hand with his free one and moves it on his own throat, taking a deep puff from the cigarette. “That means you’ll  _ feel something _ .” He whispers, tilting his head to see the knight.

“Yes,” Ren answers. “It’s not like I won't feel anything. Anger and hatred are significant for the Dark Side. They give you the strength. They are as important as the peace for the Jedi.”

“I’d enjoy killing you too…” the general only answers, still looking at Kylo.

“Would you?” the knight chuckles, finding the whole situation absurd. “That's good then.”  _ Perhaps you’ll still get a chance _ .

“Awfully a lot,” Hux says, caressing Ren’s hand, which still is on his throat, with his fingers. It’s feels somehow oddly  _ soothing _ . “I thought about it all morning…” he licks his lips, “about the fact that I  _ can’t _ .”

“What can you do,” Kylo whispers, raising his eyebrows, looking at the general’s hand on his own, slightly tightening the grip, sickly enjoying the sensation.

“ _ Nothing _ …” Hux closes his eyes, only agreeing.

“Exactly,” Kylo tightens his hand even more for a second, then letting Hux go, taking the general’s hand, licking his fingertip. “Exactly.”

“You have no idea how frustrating it is,” the older says, forcing three finger deeper inside Ren’s mouth.

The brunette closes his eyes, sucking the fingers all the way in, slightly biting them.  _ Nothing is lost for you _ , he wants to say, but imagines how pathetic it would sound with the fingers in his mouth, deciding to stay silent.

Hux enjoys it for a while, exploring the hot wet mouth, narrowing his eyes at the pleasant sensation. He plays with Ren’s tongue, then with the idea to try and choke him. “The shower,” he says, withdrawing completely, standing up to go to the bathroom.

Kylo only nods, taking his hand. “Let’s go, then,” he agrees, shivering as he imagines how much will Snoke be angry.

… 

The ginger examines Kylo, tugging a stray hair lock behind his ear, “go finally,” he whispers, biting his own lip, not quite able to push the button to open the door just yet. He realizes it’s weak, but everything’s already lost, nothing matters.

“Okay…” The brunette pulls him close for the last time, kissing him passionately. He nuzzles his nose, licks his lips and hides his face in his chest for a while. Then he finally straightens up, moving away from the ginger, letting even go of his hand. “Remember me… Remember me like this.”

“I don’t want to…” Hux says, closing his eyes. “But I will,” he nods, taking a deep breath. “Go,” he repeats, pushing the button finally, “I’m not going with you anyway…” he want to have another cigarette before heading to the bridge himself.

“I will miss you,” Kylo looks at him with his sad puppy eyes once more, then he turns away and leaves, closing the door to Hux’s quarters. He heads to his own quarters to pack all of the things which he could possibly need, leaving the rooms nearly empty. It doesn’t matter since he won’t be returning here anyway.

The general’s throat tightens and in the end, he pours himself a shot of rum too, trying to convince himself, that he  _ won’t _ miss the puppy.

…

Hux stands on the bridge, only the marks left on his body by the knight revealing what he did with Kylo Ren. He smells of cigarettes a little, but he still manages to maintain the look of the merciless general, even though his eyes are not so cold, as he looks at the shuttle only on a screen.

Kylo is now fully clothed in his traditional robe, even with his gloves on, putting the shuttle on autopilot, watching the Finalizer from the window. His eyes are fixed on the bridge, imagining Hux standing there as always. He wonders whether he really is, whether he is watching him leaving, feeling as desperate and pathetic as he himself.

Hux just shakes his head, closing his eyes for a while. He feels pathetic. Beyond fucking measure. He takes a deep breath, trying hard not to care, as he goes to his office.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo-less chapter. The plot is finally moving a little again. Hux is really close to becoming alcoholic I'm afraid... unless he already is.

Right after the departure of Kylo Ren, the whole Finalizer set to fly to one of the remaining First Order bases, which were to become headquarters instead of the destroyed Starkiller base. Hux was not looking forward to that - even before the landing he was quite sure that interaction there won’t be easy with anyone after what has happened to him. Even if by some miracle the other generals and admirals didn’t  _ yet _ know about the thing between him and Kylo Ren, he was still a failure. And failure named  _ Hux  _ at that.

He survived the first day just fine by avoiding every encounter except the necessary ones - as there already were two meetings about the First Order further actions. Still, the accusatory looks he got and the whispers shared among others were quite enough to tell him how hated he was now. And still having his positing as the highest one among High Command members didn’t really help him. He realised right away, that they really didn’t want to cooperate with him, plotting against him and doubting everything. He had no respect whatsoever anymore.

All that, Hux expected. Taked it as something of a punishment - his pride the only thing keeping him from suicide. What he didn’t expect was, that Phasma would still hold some kind of obscure attachment to him - that making her his only ally. 

And another thing Hux didn’t expect was meeting admiral Selghay just after opening the door of his current quarters.

“Do you need something?” he asks.

“Yes, I do, General,” she raises an eyebrow as she sees Hux’s devastated look. “One of the Resistance star cruisers was spotted by several of our scouting ships. It doesn’t seem to be aware of our presence and there is a high probability it’s heading to the new Resistance base. We are sending several troops to follow them. I’ve decided to send captain Phasma because of her experience with such things, but since she’s still under your direct command, it would be suitable to get your permission first,” she is speaking in bitter tone of voice, not really hiding her hatred for Hux.

Hux is more than aware that there is quite a number of other suitable leaders for such a mission than just Phasma - there is not really any reason to send her except of getting rid of her. But he doesn’t really have a choice, as not sending her would show a weakness. He is going to get eaten by those wolves alive - it doesn’t really sound much better than getting killed by a mad monster. “You have my permission, admiral,” he nods, examining the hatred in her eyes. All the masks may have been better after all.

“Thank you…  _ General _ .” Selghay’s voice is so full of disregard and disrespect it literally hurts. “I hope you appreciate me telling you. I’m sure you are… aware of the fact it would not be necessary since this is not your primary base, since you have  _ no _ primary base now. General Toamaran has already given me permission to use all the ground forces available on the base.”

It stings. It hits him like a bullet right between the eyes. She is right - he has no base. He has  _ nothing _ . “As well as I am aware of the fact it is not necessary to send captain Phasma, who just came here,” he points out in just as poisoning voice as the women uses. “If you have no more official matters to discuss, I’ll excuse myself, I have work to do…” he actually means it.

“Do you? I wonder which since Kylo Ren is no longer here,” she challenges him, her eyes still deadly cold.

He freezes just for a fleeting moment, frowning, “what do you mean?” he asks in steady, ice cold voice.

“Surely you know what I mean, General,” she is watching his reactions closely. “I’ve heard you were quite busy with the repairs during his presence,” she adds after a while mockingly.

“I was quite busy with a lot of things,” he points out. He is astonished that it got already to the commanding officers and higher - what they did with Kylo Ren.

“I am sure you were.” she nods slightly, not even bothering herself with a salute. “I will leave you to your  _ work  _ then.”

He doesn’t even greet her in return, only taking a deep breath as she leaves. He cannot go much longer like this, that one is sure, he really needs to do something with himself. With the disappearance of Ren, he may even be able to get himself together enough to fight back for his place.

 

 

The dreams are terrible. They keep getting back, actually more often than before, even three weeks after Kylo has left. The dreams about the knights and emperors and long passionate nights. It’s sickening and  _ awfully _ tiring. As Hux gets up, sure he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep right away even though he just got to the bed, he decides for a walk.

Meanwhile, Phasma has finally returned from her mission and now she’s just finished the training of her troops. Since it’s been quite long she’s been able to do so herself, it took longer than she expected. She is tired after all this and decides that she needs a drink. And she knows exactly about someone who’d be actually glad to share a drink with her. Without thinking twice, she decides to head to Hux’s quarters, announcing herself via the communicator at the door, only to find out that the general isn’t there.

Hux gets back right as she is about to leave. “Captain?” he looks like she was the last person he’d expect there.

“General,” she replies. “Are you free right now?”

“I am, do you need something?” he asks, opening the door.

“Not really. I was only wondering if you perhaps fancied a drink?”

“Well, I’m planning to open a bottle now anyway,” he nods again, letting her come inside. “Why would you come to me though?” he looks at her, as she gets the helmet off, “the officer bar on the base is quite splendid.”

“I just thought that you might want to talk to someone. I have noticed that the last weeks here must have been hard for you,” she answers truthfully.

“Really?” he raises his eyebrows, sighing deeply. “I don’t want to talk to someone… I want to crawl  to a hole and be left there alone…” He’s lying. Of course he desperately wants to talk to someone - he’s just a human after all. Maybe  _ Hux _ , but still just a human. If he wanted to be left alone, he wouldn't let her in. He’s pathetic.

And of course, Phasma knows that. She has a gift of women's intuition, which is not so common among the troops. She keeps standing behind the closed door, waiting for the general to actually invite her in. “But you do. With all respect, I’m not blind, sir.”

“Is it that obvious?” he sighs deeply. “You are already inside, suit yourself,” he stretches his hand, pointing towards two seats he has in bedroom. This place is smaller than his quarters on the Finalizer.

“You have rather small quarters,” Phasma points out. “They must really hate you.” She sits on the chair, giving him something of a smile.

“Oh, they do, you have no idea how much…” he takes out the bottle and two glasses, filling them right away. “Let’s drink to my misery,” he lifts one.

The woman clings their glasses together, drinking the liquid in one go. “Thank you,” she nods in the direction of the drink. “Is it that bad?”

“It’s far worse,” Hux nods, not really caring that he actually is friendly with her now. He drinks his glass the same way she did, filling them right away again.

“I’ve heard something myself,” she nods once more, taking the glass into her hands. “I’ve heard that they don’t even invite you to most of the High Command meetings.”

“Thank you,” he says again. “I really needed to be reminded of that…” he shakes his head, “to the Supreme Leader,” he says in the most sarcastic tone he can manage, lifting his glass again.

Phasma only chuckles, the hint of sarcasm in her voice as well. “Do you think he planned all this?”

“Oh, I’m fucking sure about it, he’s an old sadistic shit,” the general nods, the alcohol already showing in his voice, as he still doesn't eat much, even though he at least can exercise, as he has quite a lot of free time on his hand nowadays. “You should be happy you’ve never seen him…” he hates Snoke more than anything already. He is sure that with his sorcery and his sick mind, he made it so they’ll end up where they are with Ren. Snoke knew from the very beginning.

“Who is he anyway? Nobody knows anything about him. Maybe only Ren does,” the captain seems really curious since she’s never seen the general talking about someone with such hatred.

“He’s a monster far worse than Ren, I can assure you of that,” Hux nod, “but the rest… ask me again once the second bottle is empty, then I won’t care about what I can tell you and what I can’t…”

“I’m not sure I wanna hear,” Phasma shrugs her shoulders, taking another huge sip, finishing the glass. She watches the general closely, deciding it’s time for another drink, pouring them a full glass again.

“What about you?” he asks out of nowhere, as he drinks again, not finishing it in one go this time. “I’m sure you have even bigger quarters here than I do…”

“I do,” she nods with a sigh. “I’m sorry about that…”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s good that they don’t treat my whole ship like shit just because of me…” he shrugs. “The troops here are probably quite friendly too…” he sighs.

“I personally see no different treatment than on the Finalizer,” she agrees, finishing the third glass in a record time. “You don’t deserve this.”

“I do,” the general nods. He pours her another drink, finishing his one to pour himself as well. They’ve already managed to drink half of the bottle. “My behavior was unforgivable - the official as well as the unofficial…”

Phasma is just watching him for a moment and then just asks silently. “General… was it really worth it?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “Of course not, but I’d do it all again anyway…” he closes his eyes for a while, taking a deep breath. “You can’t really affect these things.”

“But… how? How is he, really? He’s cruel and ruthless, merciless. I’ve never actually seen any side of him that would be worth loving…”

“Don’t use that word with me,” the general frowns, trying to look offended. “He’s clumsy, incompetent, innocent, he looks like little girl and smells more like a woman than you do,” he shakes his head. “Well he was like that, he won’t be anymore, he’ll be just cruel and ruthless and merciless…” he drinks the glass again, pouring himself another one.

“Thank you, General,” the woman rises her eyebrows, her voice sassy. “The smell is just the thing I needed to hear.”

“Take it as a comeback for the High Command thing. But well, I only presume, it’s not like I’ve ever smelled you, but I don’t expect you are using a perfume?”

“Of course not. I am proud that there is gender equality among the troops. Things like perfume would be only getting in a way in achieving such a goal. Does Ren use perfume or what?” Phasma is starting to be really curious.

“I don’t think so, it’s probably his soap, but he smells sweet half the time…” he just shakes his head again. “I’m ashamed of this knowledge,” he says, drinking again.

“It’s actually quite remarkable that you have noticed,” Phasma sounds amused. “I’ve never noticed myself. Of course, I didn’t do… things like you did, but I’m still a woman.”

“You don’t really look like one in all the armor,” he points out.

“I try my best not to,” she replies. “I am a soldier of the First Order, that’s all what matters.”

“Well, then everything’s all right…” he nods, drinking the glass he’s holding. He just barely realizes, that he doesn’t even know how much glasses he had, when he pours himself another. “You are a better soldier than me…” he frowns, disgusted with himself.

“I’m not,” she shakes her head. “I’d never be able to become a general in such a young age. You are an exceptional person. Sir, just tell me something… Why did you do that? The thing with Kylo Ren… Why?”

“I already told you, you can’t really affect these things,” he reminds her. “What do you want to hear, Phasma? You said you are a woman, you know how these things work, don’t you?” he bites his lips.

“Are you asking me whether I’ve ever been in love?” she raises an eyebrow, but still looks worried about Hux.

He jerks a little at that word, but he doesn’t comment on it anymore. “Maybe…” he sighs in the end. “Have you?” he looks at her with interest.

“I… I have… but it was a long time ago,” she sighs, finishing another glass quickly.

“That sounds interesting…” he raises his eyebrows, filling the glasses again. “Who was the happy one?” he smirks, standing up to go for another bottle, since they just finished the first.

“One of the boys at the academy,” she is watching Hux leaving for the bottle, then starts to stare into her glass.

“I’m fascinated,” he turns around, opening the bottle. “Tell me about it, so I’m not the only one miserable,” he sits again, pouring her the alcohol. He’d half expect Phasma to go out with girls.

“He was...a cute tiny little fellow… very nice. Not quite fit for the army. He was sent to the academy by his parents. Had no choice and nowhere else to go. Somehow… I felt sorry for him at first. But he was a good friend.”

Hux looks at her, examining her features, which are somehow softening while talking. “I can imagine that…” he nods. He’d never expect Phasma to have such kind of history behind her. “He died, didn’t he?” there’s just a slightest pause. “On a mission, where you couldn’t protect him…”

“Of course he did,” the woman sighs painfully. “There was nothing I could do about it. Even though we went on the mission together. We were both assigned to different areas. He was one of the first to fall. It’s ironic. You know, somehow, I’ve always known it’d end like this…”

“Some are not fitted for this world…” he nods, closing his eyes as just for the fleeting moment, he remembers his mother. “Some are too fitted…”

“What do you mean, General?” she is watching him closely, very sure he’s talking about someone he knew as well. “Did you meet someone at the academy too?”

“Not really, I just used to sleep around there, didn’t really care…” he shrugs his shoulder. “But there was someone in my family, who was just as fragile, I imagine…” he fills the glasses again, as they are empty. “And you’d be surprised, how fragile Ren was at times…”

“He looked like that… Back on the shuttle. He was… so different. I thought it was because of the injury and the fact that the Starkiller just exploded… Was he with you like that all the time?” Phasma seems really curious again, drinking another glass in one go.

Hux wants to go back to her romance, hear more about the fragile unfitted boy, just to keep from talking about his own  _ love _ . He lets the idea go in the end, closing his eyes again, sipping from his own glass. “No… most of the time, he was tamed and innocent puppy like that, but he could still get aggressive, violent and dangerous. He cried all the fucking time…” he rubs his forehead with one hand, trying not get emotional.

“Cried?” Phasma looks surprised, seeing how hurt the general is just by talking about it. About him. Still, the curiosity wins and she can’t stop herself from asking as Ren is one of the biggest unknowns she’s ever seen. “Why?”

“Everything… mostly because of  _ us _ …” he sighs deeply, finishing the rest of his glass. “I tried to end it several times, you know… He killed me by falling in love with me…”

“But how? How could someone like him fall in love? I mean… he was a cruel angry monster before, wasn’t he? I thought… he didn’t have emotions at all…”

“I thought so, too…” Hux nods. “I thought I didn’t have any emotions at all,” he points out. “But I don’t really know how it works for the monster they are with Snoke, so I won’t be able to explain anything to you… except maybe… He wasn’t  _ just _ Ren at the beginning…”

“What do you mean? What was he then?” Phasma takes another sip of her glass, listening closely. 

“Nothing…” Hux just shakes his head, quite determined not to tell her, that he  _ fell in love with Ben Solo _ . “Maybe you could say there were two of them inside of him…” he shrugs his shoulders a little. “Tell me more about your fragile boy.”

“Okay…” Phasma sighs, thinking that it’s only fair. “His name was Will. A black haired boy, brown eyes… Actually, he looked like Ren a bit. Funny, isn’t it…” she chuckles bitterly.

“Don’t we have just the poorest taste?” he shakes his head, downing another glass. “How serious was it?” he looks at her.

“As much as two cadets of the First Order can get,” she sighs. “We both knew it wouldn’t last. I think even Will somehow knew how it would end in the end… But we fell in love. And loved each other. But as I said, it was a long time ago. I was a different person back then…”

“I can imagine…” Hux nods. “But it changes you, falling in love. If someone like that came to your life again and made you fall in love, you’d be back to the girl,” he looks at her with certainty in his eyes. “I’m ashamed of myself…” he closes his eyes, leaning into the chair.

“Have you ever been in love before? I don’t mean in a relationship… Just some random crushes. Most of people have some.”

“No,” Hux answers truthfully, “that makes it all just so much worse…” he never really thought about such things before Ren.

“So basically… Ren was your first?” she exhales, finishing another glass. She’s starting to be properly drunk, asking things which she wouldn’t even think about under normal circumstances.

“He was my first love…” Hux nods, much more drunk than her. “I was his first everything… even his fucking first kiss,” he takes a deep breath, the emotions filling him once more.

“I’m not surprised,” Phasma shakes her head. “I’ve never even imagined someone like him to actually… be even able to think about such things.”

“But you’d imagine me?” Hux looks a little offended by that. “I wouldn’t… I’d never believe I could fall for someone so fucking hard… and for such a monster at that… a failure,” he stands up again. “I need a cigarette,” he explains as he goes to his coat for the box and lighter.

“Sure,” Phasma nods. “You know… I actually thought you had some romance at the academy as well. But… since you didn’t, what happened to you and Ren… it makes much more sense now.”

Hux lights the cigarette as he sits back, bringing the ashtray as well. “I didn’t. I’ve never taken anything at the academy as anything serious…” he explains. “God, this is all so terrible… And It’s all Snoke’s fault… I’m sure he is watching us right now in his sick-sorcery crystal ball on a tiny fucking throne. I’d bet my hand he’s not even tall enough to reach your waist - his holo is  _ enormous  _ and he’s compensating for something so hard!” he takes a deep puff. “And he’s laughing at my misery…”

It takes all of Phasma’s effort not to start laughing as she imagines that. Then masks it with intense coughing, taking a sip of the rum once more. “A sick-sorcery crystal ball? What the hell is that?!”

“Well, they probably don’t have crystal balls…” Hux admits, noticing that he almost made her laugh. It makes him smile a little. “But he wields the same sorcery Ren does, the Force or whatever it is…” he shrugs. “They actually can sometimes see the future in their dreams and such…” he tells her.

“Even Ren could? Has he told you? It sounds… kinda creepy to me…”

“It is creepy,” the general nods. “I guess it can change… he has seen three different ways we could end up,” he snorts, filling his glass once more. “None of them is good,” he assures her. “I don’t know what they can do, probably much more than I’ve seen. Once Ren comes back again, he’ll be finally the powerful monster we need…”

“What has he seen? Has he told you?” Phasma sighs, feeling how much is her tongue getting clumsy. 

He looks at her for a while, taking a deep breath. “I’m going to die soon,” he just says, dosing the cigarette.

“He’s gonna kill you, is he not?” Phasma whispers. 

“He is, because he got attached. That is something he cannot afford,” he just shrugs his shoulders. “You know, Phasma… there’s nothing for me to lose anymore… I only wish he was still the puppy, so when he does it, I could look into those soft brown eyes that…  _ loved me _ …” he bites his lips. “I’m not drinking anymore…” he huffs, the alcohol making him even weaker.

“Does he want to kill you? Or is he ordered to do so?” Phasma keeps looking at Hux sadly, wishing it wouldn’t end like this.

“He does,” the ginger nods, “I want to kill him to, but I have no power to do so…” he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. “And he is ordered as well, I guess…”

“But that just doesn’t make sense, does it? You are both in love, but you still wanna kill each other? This is just wrong… People from the Dark Side just shouldn’t be falling in love… Perhaps neither of us belongs here after all.” She gets up clumsily as she finishes another glass.

“That’s exactly why we want to kill each other - we hate each other for falling in love…” he takes a deep breath. “I dream about him  _ all the time _ …” he shakes his head. “It’s exhausting.”

“I can imagine…I used to dream about Will too,” she sighs, filling two glasses with water from the tap, bringing them to the table. “Drink it… Or you’ll have a proper hangover tomorrow,” she sighs, pushing him the glass into the hand.

“Thanks… but it doesn’t really matter for me, I can just stay here from time to time,” he points out. He’s trying, but regaining his reputation seems almost impossible. “Did you dream about his death?” he asks, “about how powerless you were for not saving him? About all the regrets?” in a way, he dreams about the same things.

“I did…” Phasma answers after a while, the pain in her voice obvious. “And I think, in a way… It made me into what I’m now. Perhaps you’ll get another chance too, General.”

He looks at her with grim face, “if he’ll turn light,” he nods. “Then it will be me killing him.”

“What?” the woman starts staring at him. “He’s seen that too?! Ren turning  _ light _ ? It’s hard to imagine… He’s a monster…” she whispers.

“It’s not really that hard to imagine,” Hux shakes his head. “Or at least, it wasn’t… the time on the shuttle was…” he frowns, not even be able to find a proper words for that.

“Is he really so unstable? I mean, obviously he is, since he ventilated his anger by destroying the ship, but this? He turning light? Isn’t it too late for him?” Phasma drinks another glass of the alcohol, then drinks the one with water too. “I’ve heard he’s killed his own father…”

“I don’t know,” Hux just waves a hand, like he doesn’t really care. He remembers his mother, gulping. “It’s probably never too late, they took in FN-2187 as well, didn’t they…” he shrugs. “He did kill his father, but I’ve heard there were worse turning light…”

“Were they? Such as?” Phasma raises her eyebrow. “I can’t really imagine…”

“I’ve heard Darth Vader was such one,” again, he just shrugs.

“Darth Vader? You mean… Ren’s grandfather? Perhaps he’s just from a sick family then… And the Light Side is full of pathetic losers who take in everyone,” she shrugs her shoulders too.

“You are right at everything!” he nods, lighting another cigarette. “Pathetic…” he repeats, starting to nod off.

“You should go to bed, General,” she points out, looking at him, bringing another two glasses of water. “You’ve had quite enough.”

He drinks this glass as well, looking at her, the cigarette still in his hand. “It doesn’t matter where I sleep,” he shakes his head, actually succumbing to all the exhaustion out of nowhere, falling asleep.

Phasma sighs, taking the cigarette out of his hand, throwing it into the ashtray. Then she takes the general into her hands with quite an ease for a woman, laying him on the bed gently, taking his boots off and covering him with a blanket. She brings him another glass of water to his nightstand, washes the ones they used and watches him for a while. The ginger seems to be sleeping peacefully, so she puts on her mask and leaves his quarters with a sad smile on her lips.


	16. Chapter 16

Two months pass and Kylo Ren is returning to the base and to the Finalizer again. He was sent on a mission by the Supreme Leader in order to lead an attack to the newly discovered base of the Resistance. He was given all the plans, having a task to take over the leadership of the Finalizer. The only thing he was told is that General Hux will know about his arrival, however, Ren has no idea that that is the  _ only  _ thing the ginger knows. As Kylo’s shuttle lands at the dock, he heads to seek the general immediately, finding out there’s almost nobody around. He closes his eyes, feeling the presence of many people outside, heading there as well. As he gets to the meeting point of the troops, he sees the general giving speech to them, as fierce as usually. And yet there is so much that has changed. He doesn’t care about the masked soldiers around him, heading to the stage, his black robes noticeable at first look among the white mass of helmets and armors.

Hux doesn’t move a muscle to give away that he noticed. He continues the speech with even more passion, as his chest tightens in emotion he is not quite able to name. But he is hundred percent sure it’s a negative one. He only glances at the black horror, which gets closer and closer. And among all the other things, he may even feel a hope that all this farce will finally end.

Kylo stops right in front of the stage, not doing anything, just standing, waiting almost patiently for Hux to finish. He is standing there even after the troops are dismissed and they are starting to leave. He is still watching the general, staring at him with a deadly glare, menacing as the Death itself.

This time, Hux looks at him, looks right into his eyes. They are cold almost unbelievably, the brown color now looking black, like a bottomless pit,  _ empty _ . Ren is becoming Snoke’s merciless, emotionless puppet - just the monster he was supposed to be right from the beginning. The general doesn’t say anything as he turns away to leave for the main control room of this base. He doesn’t want to talk to this abomination until it will be time to get killed. He is already getting at least a little of his broken reputation back, he doesn’t want to loose that more than anything - even more so since  _ his knight _ is already lost forever.

“General!” the knight shouts in a loud voice which is as cold as his eyes, with no trace of the emotional puppy left.

“Ren?” Hux turns. The two months on this base made him a real master in not showing any emotion, whatever they could be. It was something he was not used to. Before, he didn’t really have emotions. Now, he is full of  them, but he still looks even colder, more indifferent than ever before. Yet, somehow, with the monster’s sorcery, he is not sure that is enough.

“General,” he repeats, heading towards him quickly. “I am here to take over the command.”

“Command of what?” the ginger looks surprised. He was not told anything like that.

“Over the troops,” Ren answers him, noticing how easily his will not to show any emotions broke. “Over everything. From now on, everything is under my command. The Supreme Leader’s orders. I shall announce it to the others as soon as possible as well.”

“Of course…” the older didn’t expect that Ren will be taking his place after killing him. “Do it then…”

“Are you surprised, general?!” the knight throws a nasty look at him, completely looking like the monster he’s become. “Has the Supreme Leader not informed you?”

“Only about your arrival, I really didn’t think Snoke would make you the head of High Command. On the other hand, it’s like he’d do it himself, so it fits perfectly,” he slowly fixes his _ mask _ .

“What do you mean?” the knight asks, looking like he wanted to raise the eyebrow, but has forgotten how to do so over the last two months.

Hux wants to laugh, but he doesn’t move a muscle. This is all just ridiculous - everything changed except the dull side of the knight. Snoke made him into quite a sight indeed. “Nothing. Kill me already…”

“No. You will tell me.” Ren raises his hand, invading his mind ruthlessly, this time having no problems with it at all. “You will tell me, whether you like it or not.”

Hux tries really hard to brace himself, to steel and not to let the menacing presence in, but it’s no use. Ren got stronger, there’s no doubting that, while Hux got…  _ nothing _ . He only loses things since the very beginning.

The brunette searches his mind thoroughly, getting everything he wants to know. And even more. He feels the sick pleasure of torturing the ginger, knowing how much he hates the fact his most private memories can be accessed any second by the likes of Ren.

“Stop it, desease,” Hux growls in voice full of hatred - the mask gone again, mostly because of the pain Ren causes him. Calling him like that is more of a reflex.

“No,” he hisses in response. “I will  _ break  _ you.”

The older one spits in his face, hissing like a irritated snake.

Kylo pulls him up into the air, choking him slowly, enjoying it more and more as his hatred for the general keeps rising with every second. He is still searching his mind, wanting to find something to break the general completely.

“Your mother,” he whispers at last. “I see now. She used to play the piano for you during your childhood. Every time you were sad or upset... You loved it. You still do. Every time you play it, it reminds you of her. And you  _ hate  _ your father for what he’s done to her…”

“You sick beast,” is the only thing Hux manages to choke out, struggling to breathe. It’s a reflex but he realises after a while, there’s no need to  _ really _ struggle. He cannot do anything against the sorcery anyway - he  _ fucking hates that _ , but the death can come faster like this. “You cannot break me more anymore…” he whispers again between half swollen breaths, still choking.

“I know. I’ve seen your mind. You are  _ pathetic _ ,” he utters hatefully, still not loosening his grip.

“Then  _ kill me already _ !” it’s barely hearable through all the choking.

“Oh no, General,” Ren whispers, lowering the ginger back to the ground. “I’m not going to kill you like  _ this _ .”

“Fuck you then,” he spits, turning away, trying to fix his own  _ mask _ . This is just a terrible disaster - another thing Hux is actually not surprised about, as he is already quite used to disasters.

“Where do you think you’re going?!” Ren snaps, stopping him right away, disabling the general from doing any single move. “We’re not finished yet.”

“Well, what else do you want to do?” his tone is poisonous, “there’s nothing else you can do to me except killing me, monster.”

“You said you would enjoy it,” the knight answers heartlessly. “And I said I would enjoy it as well. And I am planning to.”

This actually stings a little. Hux narrows his eyes. “Someone else said it,” he reminds his curse, now so painfully changed. “Let me go if you don’t want to kill me!”

“I didn’t come to kill you today, General. I still have not completed my training. I came here only for the mission. And I am returning back right after it’s completed.” Ren doesn’t seem to react in any way when Hux reminds him of Ben Solo and what he actually meant for him. Or what they meant for each other.

“Well, that sounds just clever, taking the command and then leaving,” the general frowns. He’s glad in a way all the troops are already away, so there are not many people to see all this.

“That is why I’m not killing you yet, General. You will still have your duties to fulfill.” Ren finally lets him go, heading to the main control room himself, leaving the shattered ginger far behind him.

Hux takes a deep breath, trying to collect himself. He feels physically sick, his stomach turning around. He is perfectly sure now it’s really only his pride keeping him from killing himself. He has already seen the monster. Kylo Ren may have the same face and voice and  _ body _ , but the person is already different. He looks different, his eyes, his behavior, the way he  _ walks _ . His aura has completely changed, it’s deadly and far more poisonous than ever before. And it’s going to be worse. Hux may be glad that this is their best weapon now, but he certainly doesn’t need to be present to oversee.

 

Kylo has finally a first free evening, so he decides to explore the planet the base is on. It’s one of the typical wastelands full of the Dark Side, somehow reminding him of Korriban where he trained with Snoke for a few weeks several years ago. Ren is certain that this surely must be one of the unnamed planets of the Outer Rim where the ancient Sith dwelled, long before they attacked the Republic. He can’t help it, but feels fascinated by the ghosts of the past who are luring him deeper and deeper into the center of the planet. As if he somehow knew where to go, he feels the darkness swallowing him more and more with each step he takes. And finally he finds what has he been instinctively looking for - one of the ancient Sith tombs, built millennia ago. He doesn’t hesitate for even a second, entering it, even though he knows how incredibly dangerous it will be. He doesn’t care anymore. He’s so overconfident in his own abilities that he’d never imagine that something could actually happen to him. Snoke told him that he’d find what he’s been looking for on this planet and he’s planning to get it, even though he’s still unsure what it possibly might be.

Meanwhile, the general too leaves the base, looking for a calm place to sit and think. He’s been exploring the planet for more than a month already. He knows that this place is riddled with Darkness, he is almost sure it has even something to do with Ren’s sick sorcery - that’s certainly why Snoke decided this place to be the new headquarters. He misses his piano and the Finalizer in general, but he wants to get away from people, so he just wanders around, cigarette in his hand. Just by a chance he finds an enormous structure, looking half destroyed already, and  _ sick _ . The dark-colored stones are crumbling and there is some kind of intimidating presence lurking around the door. He frowns at the sight, fascinated in a way - it certainly reminds him of Ren. But the menacing aura is quite repulsive.

It takes more than an hour until Ren finally explores the tomb completely, able to head back to the base. The place is so infested with the Dark Side of the Force, that after he sealed himself in from inside, disabling the entrance to anyone else, he cannot feel anything going on outside. As he finally opens the door again, he nearly gasps as he sees the silhouette of a man in front of him, struck down by the familiar aura coming out of him.

“What the fuck…?” is the only thing Hux can muster as the monster emerges. He takes a few steps back, this only confirming his theory, that this place is nothing but bad news.

“What do you want here? Looking for death by yourself, General?!” Ren answers, looking almost amused.

“Not really,” the older one just shakes his head. “I was just walking…” he shrugs his shoulders. “Should I be afraid of something here? Almost the whole planet is empty…”

“There are dangerous creatures inhabiting the surface,” Ren answers. “I’m surprised you haven’t met any yet. But tell me… what were you looking for in here? This place is surrounded by the Dark Side of the Force. Was it just a coincidence or… have you possibly felt it too?” the knight looks now amazed for real.

“I was not looking for anything,” Hux assures him, “I can’t feel your sorcery,” he frowns. Maybe, it’s just too much time spent with the monster, or it’s so strong it would be apparent to anyone.

“Then I will ask you again - why are you here, General?!” Ren frowns. “Are you following me?!”

“God, no!” Hux shakes his head, “I told you I was just taking a walk, I had no idea I’d meet you here…” he sighs.  _ I’d go the other way if I knew. _

“I came here on purpose,” he replies. “And I’ve found exactly what I’ve been looking for. Exactly as the Supreme Leader has foreseen.”

“Wonderful,” Hux spits, the sarcasm quite apparent. He turns around to leave, not really in mood to talk to this abomination. “I don’t really care though…”

“I never said I want you to care. But you probably should care about this one.” Ren replies, not moving an inch.

“Why?” Hux stops, but doesn’t turn around.

“Because this thing will be the death of you,” he hisses. “You said you will want to see my lightsaber.”

“When you kill me,” the older one nods, even though he actually turns around this time. “You came here for new sword?” he asks, then look again at the ruins behind Ren.

“I didn’t quite know what it was supposed to be,” he shakes his head. “But now I have no doubts. It is a lightsaber crystal, buried in a sarcophagus with one of the ancient Sith. I can feel its power. It cannot possibly match anything I’ve ever seen before. I am still surprised nobody actually came looking for it. It’s going to make one of the greatest melee weapons of our age. Nobody will be able to match me.  _ Nobody _ !” Ren raises his voice, his eyes gaining a fanatical, nearly insane sparkle.

“Fine…” Hux just sighs and nods. “I’m looking forward to the sword getting finished…” he’s trying to sound unaffected, but the sight actually hurts him. The eyes are not the ones he knows -  _ knew _ \- this whole person is Ren as he was supposed to be. It’s disturbing how much he still cares.

“Are you looking forward to your death so much?” he snorts mockingly.

“I am,” Hux looks him in the eyes, not saying anything more.  _ You still have no idea, _ he takes a deep breath, bites his lip.

“Then take a look,” he hisses again, finally opening his clenched palm.

The general can see a red crystal, not very big, but glowing in somehow beautiful way. It’s fascinating, even he can feel the thing is powerful. “It’s resembles your current self as much as the last one resembled the person you were before,” he nods, talking quietly, actually not meaning it as a sarcasm this time. He understand that this time, Ren’s weapon is going to be much more stable and  _ deadly _ .

“Thank you,” Ren replies, obviously pleased by Hux’s words.

The general examines his face. It’s a good thing. Ren’s change, his powers, his strength, even the damned lightsaber. Hux has no idea why is he so affected, why his chest still tightens so much, why it still  _ hurts _ . He is a failure, getting swept away by emotions. “Well, I’m going back…” he gets out finally, turning again and going right away.

“Are you aware of the fact that I’m heading the same way you do?!” Ren looks at him, but where would be his smiling eyes before, now is only darkness and hatred.

“I am, but the longer we  _ stand _ here, the longer I have to spend with you…” the redhead growls. “I’m surprised you cannot go back faster thanks to your sorcery or something…” he shrugs, not looking at the other.

“Do whatever you want,” the brunette replies. “I couldn’t care less.” He himself turns his back to the tomb, starting to walk back to the base.

Hux snorts, contemplating for a while, whether it would be worth it going the other way just to avoid this disease. He sighs in the end, going back but several steps away from the younger one.

The knight doesn’t seem to care about his presence in the slightest, not being affected by it at all. He keeps his pace quite fast, going a few steps before the general, then suddenly stops without a single word, just standing there quietly, looking like smelling the night warm air.

Hux frowns, looking at the knight, then around as he gets that something is wrong. He pulls his blaster out as fast as he notices a shadow moving aloof, but he doesn’t even manages to aim - at something he doesn’t even see - before there’s a lizard like creature he’s never seen before, flying in the air, followed by another.

“Hssisses,” Ren whispers, turning around as he throws the last one away, using the Force. “They must feel the crystal.” He doesn’t even know why he’s saying it, since he doesn’t care about the ginger’s presence. _ At all _ .

Hux turns to him, not really sure what just happened. “What?” he blinks. He didn’t even got the name, just heard Ren hiss aggressively.

“Creatures attracted by the Dark Side. They are Force sensitive. They probably feel the crystal. I’ve met several of them in the tomb,” he answers like nothing happened, like being attacked by enormous lizards was happening to him on a daily basis.

“Oh, sounds great,” Hux frowns. “I didn’t meet anything or anyone until now…” he shakes his head. “It just proves how disastrous you are…” he sighs.

“If you don’t like it, just go away,” he snaps, continuing in the journey, not caring in the slightest that the creatures are slowly returning, planning to attack them again.

“With pleasure, the one attracting them is you anyway…” he quicken his pase, trying to go faster than the monster.

“And yet you are still going with me,” Ren points out, turning around once again, taking out his sword, then staying perfectly still.

Hux notices Ren has no lightsaber this time, just an ordinary melee weapon. “Are you sure that’s better than a gun?” he asks, getting nervous about the creeping shadows around.  _ Well, this is just great. _

“Just try to hit one with your blaster. You will see.” Ren whispers, clearly focusing on the creatures around them.

Hux does it, aiming carefully. He feels like he hits something, but the creature just growls, jumping right at them.

Ren stops the hssiss right in front of Hux, keeping it only inches away from him. “Do you still believe your blaster would save you?” he widens his eyes, watching the general closely. “ _ Pathetic _ .”

“Is your sword better then?” the ginger asks, actually awfully uneasy, even though he tries not to let it show. He cannot stop looking at the lizard, big and ugly, trying its best to get away from Ren to  _ attack _ and to  _ devour _ .

The knight jumps to the creature, cutting its head off with one single move. “What do you think?” he asks, emotionless again.

“Impressive,” Hux forces out of himself, trying to sound sarcastic, but failing terribly. “Be careful about the crystal…” he whispers as he sees the knight jumping around. The idea of Ren actually losing it seems somehow laughable even now. But he doesn’t laugh.

“Keep it then,” the brunette pushes it into Hux’s hand, obviously somehow still trusting him. “Take care of it,” he jumps back away, fighting with the rest of the creatures.

That takes Hux completely off guard, leaving him so stunned, he cannot do anything except watch the smooth fast moves of his  _ death _ . It’s fascinating. And Ren is still  _ beautiful  _ while fighting.  _ Breathtaking _ . The general clenches the crystal, he can feel even through his gloves that it is still somehow warm, probably as Kylo was holding it. He is petrified, just trying to watch what is going on around him, he doesn’t even realizes he is shaking a little… but it’s not in fear. Or is it?

Ren kills the rest of the creatures without a blink of an eye, cleaning his sword and hiding it back to the sheath, returning to face the general, only staring at him.

“Here…” Hux whispers in a broken voice, giving the younger one the crystal, his hand still shaking. He can’t help it as he feel somehow proud of Ren and completely pathetic himself.

“Thank you,” the knight answers, looking away immediately, then without another word turns to scout the surroundings, looking for another creatures.

That’s another thing the older one didn’t expect - the knight thanking him. He puts away his blaster, which he completely forgot about, still shaken by this experience. “What the fuck, Ren…?” it’s just a sigh.

“What do you mean?” the brunette answers without even moving an inch.

“This… after everything that’s happened, this is just the worst day after you left,” he growls, “I’m leaving… it’s going to be wonderful, getting eaten by an enormous lizard, I bet no one has foreseen that!” the shock’s slowly slipping away, leaving only a bitter aftertaste and unexplainable anger.

“Do whatever you want,” Ren answers, finally turning to face him. “I couldn’t care less.”

“I know,” Hux grits his teeth, “that’s why I’m leaving!” he is even more pissed of at the fact that not even offending Kylo’s  _ sorcery _ makes the knight react. He turns to leave, going right away.

The brunette still doesn’t move an inch. He just jumps to one of the cliffs above them after several moments, looking around once more, watching the ginger leaving. Even though it’s night already, he feels everything in his surroundings just perfectly.

Hux goes for several minutes alone, noticing that Ren has completely disappeared, but he tries not to think about it. He stops abruptly, when he hears an animal growl, and unwillingly shivers, automatically taking his blaster, even though he knows it’s no use.

Ren notices the presence of the beasts as well, looking in the direction of the base. He feels them swarming around Hux, jumping from the one cliff to another as fast as he can, feeling an inexplicable anger because of the ginger. No matter how big hatred he feels towards him, he cannot allow him to die. Not yet.

It’s just a reflex when the ginger pulls the trigger, several times just to protect himself even though he  _ doesn’t want to _ ! He slows the first hssiss with three shots, but the creature doesn’t die and the general doesn’t even have time to turn around to try to stop the others.

And then in a second Kylo appears in front of him, stopping the creatures from getting too close to them. He pulls out his sword once again, killing them even faster than before, even though he feels that this night has exhausted him more than he expected. He still has much to learn.

“What are you doing here?” Hux seems just exhausted, his voice flat. “You don’t care,” he frowns.

“I cannot allow you to die,” Ren hisses. “Don’t you dare doing anything like this ever again. You are mine to kill.  _ Mine _ !”

Hux shivers, biting his lips, all the remarks he wanted to say die in his throat at the words. “Fuck you!” he shouts as he feels it again, all the emotions swelling in his chest, trying to choke him. “Just do it already!”  he’s trembling again, “just kill me then!”

The knight suddenly grabs him tight, choking him again. It’s clearly obvious that this move is his new favorite one. “Do this once again and I swear I will keep you balancing between life and death forever,” he spits out, his voice full of hatred.

“You have no fucking right…” it’s barely hearable as Hux gasps for breath.

“Oh, but I do, General. I have this power over you. Just look at yourself. You have lost everything already. Your mother, your base, your lover and even… ah, even your troops,” Ren’s eyes widen as he enters the ginger’s mind again. “The only reason you were able to keep your rank is that the Supreme Leader wants you to. There isn’t a single person who doesn’t hate you. Except… Phasma… I see… You have grown quite fond of her…”

“Don’t you fucking dare hurt her, you cancerous monster!” the ginger struggles against the Force, even though he’s still powerless.

“And what if I do?” the knight’s eyes look fanatical again, the monster in him awaking more and more. “What would you do?! Oh, that’s right… you wouldn’t be able to do anything. And believe me, I will hurt her if you try to kill yourself. And I will hurt her a lot, forcing you to  _ watch _ ,” he smiles, the expression deadly and diseased, fully infested with the Dark Side.

Hux cannot even answer, as the grip is now choking him even more and he can’t even take a breath. Yet, he somehow feels like crying, watching what has happened to his  _ puppy _ . To  _ his knight _ . It’s even worse, because he knows the best that he should be happy, that this Ren is the best the First Order. But he  _ fell in love _ .

Kylo feels that the general will soon faint at this rate, slightly loosening his grip, and as he does, for one second - perhaps even less - he lets his guard down and for a moment he feels everything Hux’s feeling right now. It feels like eternity for the knight as he’s struck down by the memories - their mutual memories - he has almost forgotten already, all the emotions and the amount of  _ love  _ the ginger is still keeping buried inside, unable to let go and to set himself free. It hits him so strong that he releases Hux immediately, taking several steps back from him as fast as he can, breathing heavily, visibly shaken.

The ginger falls to his knees, coughing and shaking violently, the pain of what Ren just did almost blinding him. It’s not just the neck, his  _ mind _ hurts and it’s sickening. But he still keeps watching the younger one, astonished about the abrupt change in his behavior. And even in the darkness of the night, he can see it. The knight’s eyes have  _ changed _ .

Ren keeps backing off until he hits the rock behind him, still watching Hux, clearly terrified. “Stop looking at me,” he whispers, his voice trembling.

“Why?” the ginger gets up slowly, examining Ren, looking him right in the eyes, as if he was looking for something.

“Stay away from me!” Kylo shouts, desperately looking around for a way to run.

“Well, I wanted to!” the older one shouts right back, not really sure what is going on. He doesn’t believe there’s still  _ something _ left in the other. He doesn’t want to.

Ren doesn’t say anything anymore, jumping back on the cliff again, retreating as fast as he can, running away so that he can’t see the ginger anymore. Or feel. But it’s too late already.

Hux just stands there for another several moments, completely taken aback by the sudden change in the knight’s behavior.  _ Well, there goes the not letting me die part… _ he just sighs, slowly moving to walk back himself. He feels just shattered. He takes a box of his cigarettes out of a pocket, lighting one.

Kylo keeps returning to the base too, jumping on the cliffs above Hux, not wanting to meet him at all, but still keeping close if some other hssisses appeared. He gets to the base almost fifteen minutes before him, trying to collect himself, quickly returning to his quarters as soon as possible.

The general goes right back as well, shutting himself in his tiny room, hating everything. He is tired and confused, but he doesn’t really want to go to sleep, quite afraid he’d dream about the knight again. It’s sickening. He doesn’t stop cursing Ren as well as Snoke as he goes to take a shower.

 

Hux has no idea what is going on, as he wakes up in the morning to find a trooper in front of his quarters, keeping a watch. He learns from him, that not only he was stripped of his position by Ren, but of all of his authorities as well; and was to be kept locked in his quarters at least until the knight leaves. “Brilliant…” he murmurs as he gets back, even more confused, but not really all that pissed off about this situation. It actually seems like the best thing happening to him since he arrived - except the limited amount of cigarettes and booze.

Or not.

No one actually tells him anything more for several days, there are only different people bringing him food and not talking to him at all. He doesn’t eat the food. It feels like all the 

people spit in it, even more of them at a time sometimes. He sometimes examines it, picking out  _ safe  _ parts as big pieces of vegetables, washing it before eating, but still he throws most of it away. All days he spends by drinking and being bored. He feels like he’ll really go mad once the alcohol and cigarettes run out.

Meanwhile, Ren is anything but bored since he’s now the leader of the High Command instead of Hux. He’s never imagined his job is actually this exhausting, but he’s trying his best not to show it in any way. However, it’s no use. In order to finish everything necessary for the functioning of the base he barely sleeps, having no time for his own training at all. He’s sitting in his office, doing all the paperwork when one of the officers enters, looking all nervous and uneasy. “Yes?” Kylo barks from behind the pile of paperwork, black circles under his eyes, looking deadly and extremely dangerous.

The brown haired male crouches under his look, afraid. He is obviously barely able to talk normally, as he fears he will be punished just for the information he brought. “It’s about general Hux,” he says quietly, it is strange as the ginger was not stripped of his title as well as everything else.

“Yes?” Ren raises his eyebrows. “What is it?!” he nearly shouts.

“He fainted…” the officer lowers his gaze, trying to be as small as possible. “We have found out he barely ate for the last four days.”

“What?!” the knight asks in his most dangerous voice. “Then force the food down his throat then!”

“He’s unconscious now, he should probably be taken to the infirmary,” the officer feels like running away.

“He’s not going anywhere,” Ren hisses. “I will see him personally right away.” He stands up, the menacing aura quickly spreading around him.

“Yes, sir,” the other, gets away from him, bowing as Ren goes around.

Kylo storms around him, not even looking at him anymore, pissed off as never. The ginger shit is doing this on purpose, there’s no doubt about that. He’s surely very well aware that the knight has been avoiding him for the last couple of days, so he decided to torture him at least like this. He finally reaches Hux’s quarters, letting himself in, shutting the door behind him, finding the general lying on his bed. He feels irrationally angry that he successfully managed to keep away from the man, convinced he doesn’t care anymore. Until now. He wakes him up by using the Force quite abruptly, waiting for him to start perceiving again.

Hux just growls, feeling more like shit than ever. He has quite a problem to focus his vision, looking around, only frowning at Ren as he sees him. “I’m glad I’m not the only one looking like shit…” he closes his eyes again.

Kylo feels like punching him right on the spot back to unconsciousness again, but he doesn’t comment on it in any way. “I command you to eat,” he utters.

“Well then keep people from spitting into my food,” the ginger shrugs.

“They are spitting in your food?!” Ren asks, not able to believe what he hears. “I will make sure nobody will ever do so ever again,” he answers authoritatively.

Hux opens his eyes again to look at the brunette, “thanks…” he says, not really meaning it. “You know, I’m not like you… I’m not starving myself to lure you here because I want attention… It’s just disgusting,” he moves to sit. “This is nice, I have free time, people don’t really bother me… the food and boredom are a little bothersome though…”

“I don’t care whether you are bored or not,” Ren snaps. “This isn’t your fucking vacation, Hux.”

The ginger looks at him, examining him. “Do you suffer?” he asks, narrowing his eyes. “I hope you do, I hope you don’t sleep, I hope you just drown in paperwork all days…” he can see the exhaustion in Ren’s face. “Serves you right…”

“What do you want to hear?! That I do? Of course I do, and I hate it already, it’s the most fucking boring job ever,” he spits out hatefully.

“Isn’t it…” Hux just snorts. “Well, you have work to do, don’t you…?”

“Of course I do. Way more than you can imagine since you are a useless freak who doesn’t need to train as I do. The paperwork should be left for such people as you are. If you’re bored, don’t say so twice, or I will make you work through night and day again.”

“I just thought, you should go back…” the ginger shrugs. He feels worse with every second and so  _ tired _ . He wears only sweatpants and a tanktop, his hair a mess.

“So you would stay here and die?! Do you really think I’d leave so easily if I bothered myself to come here at all?!” he keeps talking louder and louder as he’s trying hard not to remember the night he left the tomb almost a week ago. “You think you’d make me leave so easily after you made me  _ worry _ ?!” he asks bitterly, not even realizing he’s said it out loud.

Hux’s eyes widen and he’s not able to react for several seconds. “What?” he only manages to say in the end.

“What?” Ren seems puzzled for a while, not quite getting what’s wrong, since he’s still sure that he said only what he meant to say.

“You just said I made you  _ worry _ ,” the ginger himself is not sure that he really heard it and it’s not just his imagination. He may be just so weak he’s hallucinating. He drunk yesterday after all, there may still be alcohol left in his blood. “Sorry then,” he just shakes his head. “I was not aware you are still capable of such things…” he turns away, trying not to think anything.

“I wasn’t,” Kylo snaps angrily, but his cold mask is slowly starting to shatter as he sees Hux this destroyed.

“Leave then… I’ll eat, if someone brings me something  _ clean _ .” The older one doesn’t even look at him. He doesn’t want to see as he hears something in the younger’s voice  _ crack _ .

“I will bring you the food myself,” Kylo shakes his head. “I will make sure this will never happen again,” he repeats.

Hux bites his lip. “Thanks…” he whispers and this time, it sounds like he means it.

The knight only nods and leaves his quarters without another word, coming back in another fifteen minutes with a plate full of a proper food. He puts it on the nightstand, examining the ginger closely.

Hux wakes up again as he hears him, the smell of food making his mouth watery. “I wouldn’t really expect this of you…” he whispers, sitting and taking the plate right away. He’s so starved it all tastes  _ wonderful _ . He tries to ignore Ren’s presence.

“If it’s all it takes from keeping you alive, so be it,” he just answers, sitting on the chair by the table, putting his own plate on it.

“I don’t have any other choice, do I?” Hux actually speaks with his mouth full and he doesn’t even has any strength left to care about it. “Are you eating here?” he looks at Ren, still awfully confused about his behavior, “why?”

“Because all I have eaten in the last two days was a fucking muffin,” he answers also with his mouth full, obviously hungry himself. “I didn’t even had a time to eat a proper food.”

Hux wants to cry and laugh at the same time as he hears him and sees the knight, sees that there are ways in which he hasn’t changed at all. “Serves you right…” he only says again, quiet and  _ sad _ .

“I’d never expect any other answer from you,” Kylo mumbles with his mouth full, closing his eyes for a moment, trying hard not to remember how they used to eat like this before. But it’s no use, the night outside made something to break in him, his will and strength leaving him once again. And everything just because of the f _ ucking general _ .

“Did Snoke send you here just see how much you’ll still be affected?” Hux asks as he examines him. He’s too tired to get over emotional, so he just stares at Ren, chewing.

“He didn’t,” Ren shakes his head. “I came here by my own will. I still have one in case you haven’t noticed,” he frowns, moving on to eat his cake.

“I haven’t,” the ginger nods. “Until now, seeing you with the cake is somehow nostalgic and I doubt anyone would order you to eat it…” Hux sighs. “Why are you eating here again?” the last sentence sounds somehow shaken.

“Because I have not eaten for two days, I’ve told you. And your presence is the only one I can stand during eating, even after all the time,” Kylo shrugs his shoulders, finishing his cake.

“Get out, you utter shit,” Hux frowns. “I don’t want to look at you…” He lowers his gaze back to his half eaten plate.

“Then don’t,” the knight hisses. ‘I’m already leaving anyway. And since you do not want to see me, it makes everything much easier. I don’t have a time for you, nor the need to spend it with you. I will assign Phasma to bring you the food from now on. However…” he narrows his eyes, “nobody will send you alcohol or cigarettes. Like I said, this is not a fucking holiday. And you look like shit even without the poisons in your body.”

“The worst poison in my body is you,” Hux shouts at him, trying to not even think about the amount of cigarettes and alcohol in his quarters, if by any chance the younger one would want to confiscate it.

“Whatever,” Kylo gets up and straightens his robes. “I will leave you to your misery then,” he adds and leaves his quarters without another word, leaving his plate on Hux’s table.

Hux sighs terribly, putting the rest of his food aside, because after such a starving, he feels already quite full and he doesn’t really want to throw up after eating something normal finally. He moves to lie, tired again. He doesn’t want to think about Kylo, but it’s no use, his head is full of the knight. It’s sickening all on its own.


End file.
